That Wasn't a Dream

Senior, do you know?

I was truly so happy back then!

Because it only took me three years to complete a six-year combined bachelor's and master's degree program!

At that time, sitting on my dorm bed, I turned off that switch.

In a flash, everything about Sister Xiaoqing, all those memories I had personally suppressed deep within my consciousness...

The warmth of her fingers lingering in my hair when she combed it...

The look in her eyes as she sat by my bed watching me...

The way she knelt at my bedroom door for an entire night, hair disheveled, saying "Xiaoyou, I'm sorry" in a hoarse voice...

It all came rushing back!

I finished my studies three years early...

Three years early meant I could see Sister Xiaoqing that much sooner!

I was just so, so happy!

I was only seventeen back then, not even a legal adult yet.

Logically speaking, a girl my age should have been in high school, stressing out over the college entrance exams.

But me? I had already graduated with a master's degree!

I sat on my college dorm bed, getting ready to pack my bags and head home!

Getting ready to go see my Sister Xiaoqing!

However, I didn't call my father to tell him.

I wanted to give them a surprise.

Hehe, pretty childish, right?

Despite having such a high IQ, I acted just like an ordinary little girl when it came to things like this.

At the time, as I packed my luggage, I imagined the shocked expression on my father's face when he saw me.

I imagined whether Sister Xiaoqing would look completely at a loss again, just like she did when I got my first period.

Or maybe she would cry? Just like the night before I left when I was fourteen.

But this time...

They would be tears of joy!

I thought to myself, for this reunion, I definitely have to hug her and not let go for an entire day!

I also wanted to tell her that I had grown up, that I had become amazing!

I had studied human and AI psychology, and now I could control my own memories!

She would definitely be proud of me!

...

The school had originally planned to throw me a farewell ceremony.

I was recommended by Dawn Corporation, and as a genius girl who finished a combined bachelor's and master's program in just three years, the school thought I was great promotional material.

My friends also wanted to throw me a going-away party. They called me "Little Sister Xiaoyou" and said they couldn't bear to see me leave.

But I couldn't wait to get home.

I just smiled at them and said, no need, no need, I can't wait to go home and see my family!

They all knew I was young and hadn't been home once in three years, so it was normal to be homesick. They didn't insist, just told me to keep in touch.

You see, Senior, "high emotional intelligence" is so useful.

Back then, I just carried a single suitcase and embarked on my journey home all by myself.

When the plane took off, I pressed my face against the window and looked down.

The city I had lived in for three years was eventually obscured by the clouds.

But I didn't feel any attachment to it at all.

Because I was finally going home.

During those three years, I hadn't gone home a single time.

Not even once.

Because I knew... going back would be useless.

I understood from the very beginning that Sister Xiaoqing was kept at Dawn Corporation to participate in a closed-door experiment.

Closed-door.

No contact with the outside world allowed.

I called my father and begged him to let me say just one word to her, even just a single sentence, but he said no.

He wouldn't even let me speak to Sister Xiaoqing, so it was even more impossible for him to let me see her!

So what use would it be to go back?

I wouldn't be able to see her anyway; I could only stare blankly at the door I couldn't enter.

So I didn't go back.

Of course...

Senior, you can probably tell that there was another reason I didn't go back.

I was going through my rebellious phase back then.

You know, when smart kids rebel, they do it much more intensely than normal kids!

I resented my father.

I really resented him.

He was the one who took Sister Xiaoqing away from me.

He was the one who said, "You and Xiaoqing should spend some time apart."

He also said, "It's for your own good, and for hers too."

Hah.

For my own good.

For Sister Xiaoqing's own good.

...I'm very smart. Actually, I could understand that my father was doing it for my own good.

I knew my father's approach was right.

But I still resented him.

Because my Sister Xiaoqing was taken away by him, personally taken away by my father.

So...

During those three years, every time I called him, we only talked for a few minutes.

"Dad, I'm doing well."

"Yeah, I have enough money."

"Get back to work, hanging up now."

My tone was always very flat.

No arguing, no fussing, no crying, no yelling.

Just that kind of polite, distant flatness.

My father probably sensed it too, but he didn't say anything.

He would just use that somewhat exhausted voice to say, "Alright, take good care of yourself," and then hang up the phone.

The two of us, father and daughter, always completed every phone call in the shortest amount of time possible.

It was always just a few minutes, never exceeding five.

I felt back then that this was fine too.

He was busy anyway.

I was busy anyway too.

Sister Xiaoqing wasn't around anyway, so there wasn't much for him and me to talk about.

Before I was nine, I was in school. He was too busy to spend time with me, and the occasional times he took me to the company, I just studied by myself.

From nine to fourteen, I stopped going to school and accompanied him to the company every day, but he was still too busy to spend time with me.

It was always Sister Xiaoqing who kept me company.

She stayed with me for five years.

In my life, all my memories of "companionship" were of Sister Xiaoqing, not him.

So during those three years, I felt perfectly justified in not going home.

I used "I won't get to see Sister Xiaoqing anyway" as an excuse, and "I'm too busy with my studies" as an excuse.

I knew very well in my heart that I just didn't want to go back.

I didn't want to return to that home without Sister Xiaoqing.

I didn't want to face the father who took Sister Xiaoqing away from me.

I even secretly thought to myself...

You're the one who separated us, so you can just stay by yourself.

I don't want to go back.

I'm not going to keep you company.

I want to let you know that without Sister Xiaoqing, I don't need you either!

I just resented him.

I was just being rebellious.

I just felt that there was clearly a better solution, yet he self-righteously insisted on separating Sister Xiaoqing and me!

So, I punished him in my own way!

Not going home for three years. Phone calls never exceeding five minutes.

Calling him "Dad" in the most polite and distant tone.

Senior, tell me...

Was I a real jerk back then?

...

...

When the plane landed, it was noon.

I carried my suitcase out of the airport and hailed a taxi.

The driver was a middle-aged man who talked a lot.

He asked me where I was going.

I said to Dawn Corporation.

He glanced at me in the rearview mirror and said that since I was so pretty, was I a journalist or an independent media influencer? Going to Dawn Corporation at a time like this?

At the time, my mind was full of thoughts—what expression would Sister Xiaoqing have when she saw me? Would my father be startled?

I was still immersed in the excitement of seeing Sister Xiaoqing so soon, and I had absolutely no time to entertain him.

But that "high emotional intelligence" I learned from Aunt Su, those social instincts I had spent three years polishing to perfection...

Spoke for me before I could even process it myself:

"I'm not, why do you ask?"

I replied subconsciously, as I couldn't just let the driver feel awkward.

The driver was very surprised. He asked if I didn't know.

This morning, the company car carrying the top executives of Chenxi Company got into a terrible accident and collided with a heavy truck.

It seems everyone in the car died on the spot!

He also said...

Rumor has it that the car was full of Chenxi Company's top technical personnel, and even the renowned Fang Chu was inside.

Along with his wife, the largest shareholder of Chenxi Company, Su Yue.

And a few top-level managers.

The driver kept talking.

He said it was just too tragic, and that Chenxi Company was severely crippled this time and would probably go into decline.

He kept sighing and shaking his head.

He was even sneaking glances at my reaction through the rearview mirror.

Senior, do you know what my reaction was at that time?

I had no reaction at all.

At that moment, I was still immersed in the secret joy of soon surprising my father and seeing Sister Xiaoqing.

My brain, the one I was so proud of, the one that could solve any difficult problem, went on strike.

It refused to understand what those words meant when put together.

So.

I just subconsciously replied in that "high emotional intelligence" tone, with a sympathetic and pitying voice:

"Wow, that really is so tragic..."

Then, the car's radio suddenly started broadcasting the news.

The content of that news...

To this day, I still remember every single word with absolute clarity.

"...Around 10:00 a.m. today, a company vehicle belonging to Chenxi Company collided with a heavy truck on the suburban highway..."

"...The occupants of the vehicle included one of Chenxi Company's founders, Fang Chu, its largest shareholder, Su Yue, as well as multiple members of the core technical team..."

"...The scene was horrific, and all personnel in the vehicle showed no signs of life..."

"...Chenxi Company has yet to issue an official statement regarding this matter..."

The female voice on the radio was standard and steady.

Word by word, she clearly read out everything that I had refused to comprehend.

Senior, you know I am very smart.

But at that time...

I hated myself so much for being so smart.

Why did I have to understand it in an instant?

It made me realize in a split second that...

That morning, during the time I was rushing back on the plane, while I was pressing my face against the window looking at the sea of clouds, my head full of scenes of our reunion...

Aunt Su died.

Aunt Su's husband, Uncle Fang Chu, also died.

In that crashed car... there were other top technical personnel.

And my father...

He was also a top technical personnel.

At that moment, I was instantly stunned in the backseat.

I wanted to say, driver, you must be joking.

You and the people on the news are playing a joke together, right?

This joke is not funny at all.

Don't talk nonsense, my father is perfectly fine, I even—this morning!

This morning, I didn't do anything.

I didn't even give my father a call.

At that time, I couldn't say a single word.

At that time, I felt as if I were no longer in reality.

Senior, do you know that feeling?

It was just like that nightmare that looped eighty-two times.

I desperately wanted to wake up, but I just couldn't.

That nightmare that looped eighty-two times did eventually end with me waking up.

But... that time, I didn't wake up.

That time wasn't a dream.

That time...

It was real.