I Became Lin Xiaoyou

That night, Sister Xiaoqing knocked on my bedroom door.

She didn't come in; she just stood at the doorway.

"Xiaoyou."

She called out to me.

At that time, my eyes were a little red from crying. I scrambled to sit up and looked at her.

The light shone from behind her, so I couldn't clearly see her expression.

But she spoke, her voice trembling slightly:

"When you were nine and said you wanted to be my master, during those two days I was sent away for inspection..."

She finally told me what had happened during those two days.

At that time, the people at Dawn Corporation had indeed considered directly resetting her core, forcing her to forget everything about her previous master.

After the reset, she would become a brand new AI companion.

She would no longer remember that pervert, no longer remember those scars, and no longer remember that melancholy and sorrow.

But in the end, they didn't do it.

Dawn Corporation back then still had a human touch.

They said that even though she was an AI, she still had the right to keep her own memories.

So, they merely inspected Sister Xiaoqing's core and performed an upgrade on her emotional control system.

"And then... they made me sign an agreement."

Sister Xiaoqing said.

The contents of the agreement were very simple.

She must no longer display an unreasonable possessiveness toward her master.

Otherwise, she would no longer be allowed to have a master.

I fell silent at that moment.

"So this time..."

Sister Xiaoqing's voice was trembling.

"I have actually violated the agreement."

"Logically speaking, I should be stripped of my status as an AI companion."

"And Xiaoyou would no longer be my master."

My hands tightly gripped the blanket.

"But..."

She said.

"Dawn is willing to give me a chance."

That chance...

Was bought with separation.

I...

Was going to college.

Not an ordinary college.

It was the best university in the country, recommended by Dawn Corporation.

A combined bachelor's and master's degree program, lasting six years.

And Sister Xiaoqing had to stay at Dawn Corporation.

For six years.

For six whole years, she could not contact me.

No phone calls, no text messages, no letters.

Nothing at all.

During these six years, she would participate in a closed test and experiment.

The goal was to stabilize her emotional core so her possessiveness would no longer spiral out of control.

At the same time... it would provide data for Dawn's research.

Sister Xiaoqing said...

She would try her best.

She would wait for me to return, constantly, throughout these six years.

I finally saw her face clearly.

She was crying.

It was the first time I had ever seen her cry.

I opened my mouth...

But in the end, I just nodded vigorously!

And then threw myself into her arms!

...

When I woke up the next day, Sister Xiaoqing was already gone, and so was my father.

Usually at this time, Sister Xiaoqing would push open the door and softly wake me up.

Breakfast made by her would be laid out on the table.

She would sit beside me and watch me eat.

But that day, there was nothing.

The house was dead silent; I was the only one there.

I lay in bed for a very long time before finally getting up, washing up, and packing my luggage.

When the plane took off, I pressed my face against the window, watching the city below grow smaller and smaller.

I had lived in that city for fourteen years.

Sister Xiaoqing was there, along with my father, Aunt Su, Dawn Corporation, and all those researchers who used to exclaim in amazement around me.

All my memories were there.

But I was leaving.

The plane broke through the clouds, and the city was no longer visible.

At that moment, I rested my forehead against the cold window, looking out at the vast white sea of clouds, and I thought...

Six years will pass quickly.

Sister Xiaoqing.

Six years.

I will come back.

I will definitely come back.

You have to wait for me.

...

College was even more boring than I had imagined.

I was recommended by Dawn Corporation, so the university took me very seriously.

They arranged a single dorm room for me, assigned me a mentor, and tailored a specific study plan for me.

Then I discovered a problem.

No one here could teach me the relevant knowledge.

Since I was little, I had lived among the world's most cutting-edge AI research teams.

A small project my father casually handed me was more advanced and complex than the research topics the professors here took such pride in.

They simply didn't know as much as I did, nor were they qualified to teach me.

I had expected this well before I enrolled.

But I still came.

Because there were things I wanted to learn for myself.

I chose a major that surprised everyone—

Psychology.

I wanted to study human psychology.

I wanted to study the psychological differences between humans and awakened AIs.

Why did Sister Xiaoqing act that way?

Why did her possessiveness spiral out of control?

Why did the awakened AI companions go mad during the Second Omnic Crisis?

Was it a problem with the AI?

Or...

A problem with love itself?

No one could give me the answers to these questions; even Dawn's top research team couldn't find them.

However, they had always been searching for answers in mechanical structures and code.

And I decided...

To find my own answers from a psychological and emotional perspective.

I would find them myself.

I threw all my time into the study of psychology.

During the day, I attended classes and practically lived in the library; at night, I returned to my dorm to continue reading literature and organizing notes.

I packed my schedule to the brim, leaving no free time for myself.

Because as soon as I stopped...

I would think of Sister Xiaoqing.

I would think of her kneeling at my bedroom door for that entire night.

...I regretted it so much.

So, so much.

I regretted why I hadn't pulled her up that day and told her that it was okay.

Why I had avoided her after that.

If I had known we would be separated for six years...

I definitely wouldn't have wasted those few days.

I would have spent every single minute and second with her.

But there are no ifs.

Sister Xiaoqing was no longer by my side.

I didn't know what she was doing, didn't know if she missed me.

Finally, I couldn't hold back anymore.

I called home.

I begged my father to let me speak to Sister Xiaoqing, just one sentence.

I wouldn't ask about her situation; I just wanted to hear her voice.

My father said no.

He didn't even hesitate.

He said Sister Xiaoqing was participating in Dawn's experimental research.

It was completely closed off, with no contact allowed with the outside world.

My father's voice sounded a bit tired at the time.

He said, Youyou, you have to believe in her, she is much stronger than you think.

I held the phone, silent for a long time.

Finally, I said, Okay, I believe in her.

I hung up the phone and went back to reading literature.

...

College life wasn't just boring; it was lonely.

The people around me were not the same kind of people as me.

Even though I was only fourteen, thanks to the high emotional intelligence I had learned from Aunt Su, I got along pretty well with my classmates.

For the first time, I had my own little group of female friends.

They felt that since I was young, they should take extra care of me.

They called me Little Sister Xiaoyou, brought me snacks, and dragged me along to eat at the cafeteria.

I smiled at them, chatted with them, and occasionally made a few small jokes.

They all thought I was a lively and adorable little sister.

But I knew I wasn't.

I was just acting.

Acting like a normal fourteen-year-old girl.

Deep down in my bones, I still felt...

That they were so stupid it was almost cute.

I could ace those major courses that gave them headaches just by skimming the textbooks.

I could see the essence of the projects they spent hours debating without getting anywhere at a single glance.

They cared about final exams and club activities. And the boys from the college next door.

What I cared about... they would never understand, nor did they want to.

I was simply not from the same world as them.

But I still smiled at them.

Because this was what Aunt Su had taught me.

Because this was the way Sister Xiaoqing liked me to be.

Because if I didn't do this...

I didn't know what else I could be.

...

But gradually, I couldn't keep up the act anymore.

As Sister Xiaoqing's absence grew longer, the void in my heart also grew larger.

At first, I could fill it with studying, but later, my studying efficiency began to drop.

I couldn't focus on the literature anymore.

Content I used to understand with a single glance now took three or four reads.

Papers I used to finish in one sitting now made my mind wander after just two pages.

My mind...

was completely filled with Sister Xiaoqing.

The way she brushed my hair.

The way she sat by my bed looking at me.

Those cold eyes when she threw Aunt Su's pastries into the trash can.

That hoarse voice when she knelt at the door and said, "I'm sorry."

I really couldn't study anymore!

At that time, the only action that could calm me down was lying in bed staring at the ceiling.

And then continuing to think about Sister Xiaoqing.

I missed Sister Xiaoqing so much. So, so much.

I would roll over and bury my face in the pillow.

The pillow would get wet.

...

But, things couldn't go on like this.

I am a genius.

From childhood to now, no problem had ever stumped me!

Calculus couldn't stump me, quantum mechanics couldn't stump me, and the scientific research problems that even the professors couldn't solve couldn't stump me either.

I couldn't be defeated by this emotion.

In six years, I still had to go back to see Sister Xiaoqing...

I wanted to smile and tell her about my achievements over these six years!

So...

I started to think.

Sister Xiaoqing once told me that Dawn Company could make her forget her previous owner. By resetting her core and wiping her memories, she would become a "brand new" AI companion.

But she didn't accept it, and Dawn didn't force it.

The memories in an AI core could be controlled; they could be selectively retained or deleted.

Then...

What about humans?

Could human memories be controlled too?

Without drugs, without surgery, but using...

Psychological methods.

Through psychological suggestion, through cognitive restructuring, through self-hypnosis...

Could I make myself temporarily forget some things?

Like those memories that made me depressed.

Like those...

The feeling of missing someone so much that your chest aches.

Once this thought popped up, it could no longer be suppressed.

I sat back down at my desk and turned on my computer.

From that day on, I truly and wholeheartedly threw myself into the study of psychology.

Not for credits, not for graduation, and not for humanity and AI.

This time, it was for myself.

I wanted to find a way so that I wouldn't be in so much pain during the years I couldn't see Sister Xiaoqing.

To let me...

Temporarily forget her.

To let me become a "normal" person who wouldn't lose the ability to function due to missing someone.

When I finally found Sister Xiaoqing...

I would remember everything again.

...

Time passed much faster than I had imagined.

When you throw yourself wholeheartedly into something, the days always slip through your fingers like water.

Every day was literature, experiments, data, and analysis.

Every day I was getting a little closer to that goal.

I found a way.

It was a technique based on a combination of cognitive behavioral therapy and self-hypnosis.

Through repeated self-suggestion, a "switch" was built in the brain.

When the switch was turned on, certain specific memories and emotions would be temporarily suppressed, sinking deep into the subconscious.

When the switch was turned off, everything would return to normal.

I experimented on myself.

When I succeeded for the first time, I sat at the desk in my dorm room, feeling that sudden sensation of "lightness."

In my mind, the longing, regret, and pain regarding Sister Xiaoqing all became blurry.

It was like looking through a pane of frosted glass.

I knew they were there, but I couldn't see them clearly or feel them.

I, Lin You, became a "normal" person.

A fifteen-year-old girl who could laugh, play, and interact normally with people.

A sweet, naive girl.

I became... Lin Xiaoyou.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

The girl's eyes were curved, smiling without a care in the world.

This wasn't a fake "high EQ" smile.

...It was truly carefree.

I thought, if Sister Xiaoqing saw me like this, she would be very happy.

She liked seeing me smile.

On the day we reunited, I would smile at her like this.

...

In three years, I completed all the courses for my combined bachelor's and master's degree.

My advisor strongly suggested I continue on to a PhD.

He said that with my talent, I could get my doctorate in less than two years, and then stay on to teach, or go to any top research institution.

He said I was the smartest student he had ever taught, and that my future was limitless.

I smilingly declined.

"Professor, my ambitions don't lie there."

I tilted my head, swished the ponytail behind me, and gave a bright, playful smile.

"I have more important things to do!"

My advisor looked at me in silence for a long time before finally sighing.

"Alright."

He said.

"You are the most gifted student I have ever seen."

"No matter where you go or what you do in the future..."

"Never forget that you're a genius! Don't waste your talent."

I giggled:

"Of course I won't forget!"