My Body Is Me

The eyes that had just been filled with tears, grievance, and a fragility that made one's heart ache had now completely transformed.

The desire within had not faded; instead, it burned more intensely, like oil added to a roaring flame, blazing without restraint.

But besides desire, there was something else.

Possession.

Obsession.

Madness.

Like a cat that had finally caught its prey, leisurely sizing up the mouse beneath its claws, pondering where to take the first bite.

"Chengcheng."

Lin Qingyan spoke, her voice soft and sweet, carrying a hint of a smile.

But that smile, when it fell upon the ears, made Gu Chengyin feel as though something soft and sticky had wrapped around him.

Impossible to break free, impossible to shake off.

Lin Qingyan raised her hand and touched his cheek. Her fingertips were still warm.

"Since you already know, I won't pretend anymore."

Lin Qingyan said with a grin, her thumb lightly tracing along his jawline:

"Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to maintain that cold and aloof facade?"

She leaned in closer, her breath brushing against his lips, carrying a faint, elusive fragrance.

"But there was no choice. I couldn't let anyone know this secret."

Her voice was low, like a lover's whisper: "If you want to blame someone, blame your own cleverness."

Her eyes curved into crescent moons, but what filled those crescents was not clear moonlight—it was scorching flames.

"Clever enough to make me ache to have you, truly ache to have you."

Gu Chengyin couldn't move a muscle. The oppressive weight of her golden core had locked every strand of his muscle and every bone in his body.

Aside from being able to speak, he couldn't even control the frequency of his blinks.

Yet his gaze remained clear—no panic, no fear, not even surprise.

His Dao heart was as steady as a rock, utterly unshaken.

"Aunt, but if you do this..."

Before he could finish, a finger pressed against his lips.

That finger was slender and soft, cutting off his words.

"Chengcheng."

Lin Qingyan tilted her head to look at him, a hint of teasing amusement in her eyes, as if she were watching a disobedient child.

"I know what you're about to say."

She sat up straight, shifting from leaning half in his embrace to looking down at him from above.

Her robes were slightly disheveled, revealing a sliver of pale collarbone.

But Lin Qingyan didn't care, not even bothering to straighten them.

"It's just—"

She raised a finger, mimicking someone's tone:

"'When the real me wakes up, will she kill you?'"

She laughed again—eyes curved, brimming with unabashed confidence.

"But Chengcheng, I am Lin Qingyan too."

Lin Qingyan leaned down, her long hair falling like a curtain, enveloping the two of them.

"As long as I like you, then it's Lin Qingyan who likes you."

Her eyes were inches away. Gu Chengyin could see every flicker of emotion in her gaze.

There was desire, obsession, possession, and an almost childlike sense of self-righteousness.

"After all, I am Lin Qingyan's desire and love."

Gu Chengyin suddenly realized that the Lin Qingyan before him was indeed different.

Not in appearance, but in spirit, in temperament, in something that came from deep within her bones.

He had never seen the real Lin Qingyan, but he had seen the Lin Qingyan pretending to be cold and aloof.

Although it was a pretense, she was still the same person, and the bone-deep temperament remained the same.

That Lin Qingyan was cold, still, distant—like a lone pine atop a snow-capped mountain, unapproachable.

But this one before him was hot, active, unrestrained—like a wildfire blazing across the wilderness, ready to devour everything.

"In that case—"

Lin Qingyan tilted her head, a sly glint in her eyes:

"What difference is there between what I want and what Lin Qingyan wants?"

Gu Chengyin said nothing. He didn't argue.

Not because he didn't want to, but because what she said was too reasonable, leaving him momentarily unable to refute her.

The current Lin Qingyan was still Lin Qingyan, just without the emotions of pain and hatred.

Lin Qingyan seemed pleased by his silence, her smile deepening.

But she didn't act immediately. She paused, as if pondering something.

"And Chengcheng—"

She suddenly spoke again, her voice carrying an unidentifiable tone: "Don't forget..."

Lin Qingyan reached out, her fingertip landing on his chest, tracing small circles through the fabric.

"When the heart demon disappears, when those memories, that pain and hatred all vanish—"

"Then I will be the true Lin Qingyan."

"Do you understand?"

Did Gu Chengyin understand?

Of course he did.

He had understood the moment he figured out the truth.

The real Lin Qingyan, burdened by painful memories, had turned herself into a heart demon.

What she wanted was to be destroyed along with that heart demon.

As long as that pain and hatred completely vanished, the current Lin Qingyan would become a brand-new Lin Qingyan.

Was this possession?

No.

Because whether it was the version of her wracked with pain or this version filled with desire—both were Lin Qingyan.

She had simply split her complete self into two halves, then used one half to destroy the other.

No matter which half destroyed which, it was Lin Qingyan's own choice.

She was simply using this method to kill her past self.

Gu Chengyin was silent.

Lin Qingyan watched him in his silence, the amusement in her eyes growing richer.

She thought Gu Chengyin had nothing left to say, that he had accepted his fate, that he would soon—

"But Aunt."

Gu Chengyin spoke again, and Lin Qingyan's smile froze.

"Don't you want revenge?"

These words fell into the air like a thunderbolt from a clear sky.

Lin Qingyan stiffened completely.

Her hand, suspended in midair, froze in a strange position.

The smug smile on her face solidified, as if someone had suddenly doused her with cold water.

She looked at Gu Chengyin seriously, her gaze different from before.

Moments ago, her gaze was unrestrained, burning, playful.

But now, there was something else in her eyes.

Wariness. Guardedness. And a flicker of panic.

"What revenge? Revenge for what?"

Lin Qingyan asked, her voice lower and colder than before.

"I don't even know who my enemy is, where they are, or what their cultivation level is. How can I take revenge?"

Lin Qingyan spoke, her voice gradually rising, as if she were convincing Gu Chengyin—or convincing herself.

"All of that was taken away by her!"

Lin Qingyan leaned down, pressing both hands on Gu Chengyin's shoulders, the force strong enough to leave marks on his bones.

"When she disappears, all of this will disappear!"

Her eyes were fixed on him, the desire fading, replaced by a nearly frantic urgency.

"It will all vanish, do you understand?"

Gu Chengyin watched quietly. Of course he understood.

And he could guess what Lin Qingyan was afraid of.

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