Novels Are All Lies, the Young Lady Knows More Than You Do

"Host, follow your heart and abandon the shameful act of backing down, begging, or criticizing the arrogant and domestically tyrannical young lady before you!"

"Mission Reward: A forever-refreshing, multi-flavored cigarette (no side effects)."

"Failure Reward: Unexpectedly stumbling upon great luck."

Rewinding to earlier—

When Dongfang Zhixia arrogantly told Ye Cheng that his absence from the dorm at night was a serious issue.

Ye Cheng hesitated for less than half a second before his brain supplied the perfect solution: dropping to his knees, wrapping his arms around the domineering student council president’s long legs, and bawling his eyes out in a pitiful plea.

He’d spin a sob story about how hard his academic life was—whatever it took to tug at her heartstrings.

Ye Cheng wasn’t just resourceful; he was also a damn good actor. Pulling off this act would be child’s play, and winning over the president would be a breeze.

But just as he was about to commit to the performance, this godforsaken mission popped up.

It left him speechless.

"Unexpectedly stumbling upon great luck"?

Was this seriously the reward for failing? Failing… and then getting lucky?

Wait—was this that kind of "luck"?

Before, the system had pretended to give him a choice, spouting nonsense about terminal illness. Now, it wasn’t even bothering to hide it.

Refuse the mission, and you’d "stumble upon great luck"—like getting yeeted to another world to play the hero. Who knows, maybe there’d even be cute beastgirls there…

Ye Cheng had no real choice. He had to complete the mission, or one day, out of nowhere, "great luck" would come flying at his face like a truck.

A fake choice: Option A or Option B.

The real choice: Take Option A or die trying.

Damn it!

To buy himself some time, Ye Cheng pulled out an old friend—his favorite Big League Chew bubblegum—and then… well, the scene unfolded as described earlier.

Ye Cheng was sweating bullets, already planning to find a secluded spot later to kneel and beg for forgiveness.

President, there were too many people outside just now. Now, I’m kneeling for you…

Afraid the system’s mission criteria might be too vague, leading to failure, Ye Cheng went all out this time, stopping just short of outright cursing.

Even without explicit profanity, the things he’d just said were the boldest words he’d ever spoken in his life.

No one had ever dared talk to Dongfang Zhixia like that.

The room fell eerily silent, as if time had frozen.

Ye Cheng was ready to scream.

Where the hell is the mission completion prompt? If I don’t kneel soon, it’ll be too late!

While Ye Cheng waited for the system’s confirmation, to everyone else, it looked like he was just waiting for death.

"You think such childish reverse psychology will make me change my mind?" Dongfang Zhixia sneered, her gaze dripping with condescension as she stared at Ye Cheng, who was lounging in his chair like some cocky big shot.

It won’t?

But that’s how it always works in novels and TV dramas!

Ye Cheng desperately wanted to retort, but the thought of pouring gasoline on the fire—and possibly getting chopped into mincemeat by the young lady’s lackeys—forced him to swallow the words.

He’d already committed to this path. Backing down now would render all his efforts pointless.

No, gotta keep going!

Ye Cheng smirked. "The world doesn’t revolve around you, President. Stop overestimating your importance. Since I’m getting expelled anyway, whether you change your mind or not doesn’t concern me anymore."

Please, President, fall for this trick!

"You said you’d ‘pin me down’ someday?" Dongfang Zhixia arched an eyebrow, her lips curling into a knowing smirk.

Her tone carried an odd implication, steering thoughts in a very different direction. It took Ye Cheng a full second to realize why she’d singled out that phrase.

Holy shit, since when are noble young ladies so filthy-minded?!

Shouldn’t she be all naive and innocent?

Why is everyone these days a damn veteran? First that scheming young lady, now this one?

Screw whoever said noble schoolgirls were pure. If I meet them, I’m throwing hands.

"Ahem! What I meant was, I’ll surpass you!" Ye Cheng forced out the correction, his face burning.

If he didn’t steer the conversation back soon, things might spiral into very awkward territory.

"Tch."

"You really are as disgusting as ever."

Dongfang Zhixia’s face twisted in disdain, her eyes looking at him like he was trash.

Ye Cheng: "…"

I didn’t—that’s not—stop putting words in my mouth!

"A pathetic worm like you dares talk about surpassing me?"

An invisible aura of dominance radiated from Dongfang Zhixia, as if she held all the cards.

Thud!

Under the table, her polished leather shoe came down hard on Ye Cheng’s foot—then pressed down, harder and harder…

Leaning forward, she closed the distance between them, her hands braced against the table.

"If you think you can do it, then try. I, Dongfang Zhixia, have never resorted to underhanded tactics. I play fair and square."

Press, press, press…

Ye Cheng: "…"

You call this fair and square?!

The president’s stomp felt even more brutal than that scheming young lady’s, but for some reason, paired with Dongfang Zhixia’s contemptuous glare, it was weirdly… thrilling?

Do I have some hidden SSR trait I don’t know about?

Just as Ye Cheng was about to fire back with something cool to salvage his dignity—

The pain vanished.

Dongfang Zhixia straightened up, arms crossed, and strode away without another word, heading for the exit.

Her clueless secretary only snapped out of her daze when the young lady was nearly gone, scrambling after her.

"Young Lady, wait for me—!"

And just like that, the terrifying student council president and her airheaded secretary left the cafeteria, leaving Ye Cheng alone at the table.

"Phew…"

Ye Cheng slumped in relief, as if he’d narrowly escaped death.

Wiping the cold sweat from his brow, he quickly scooted back to Shen Qinghan’s side.

"Tough, but mission accomplished. Alright, Young Lady, let’s get back to eating!" he chirped, grinning like nothing had happened.

Rubbing his hands together, he pulled out the crab-cracking tools and got to work, soon happily munching away.

Delicious. Love me some "Xuanxuan’s" crab.

Shen Qinghan frowned. "Aren’t you worried?"

Munch, munch. "Worried about what? Munch, munch…"

"About not being able to pin Dongfang Zhixia down," Shen Qinghan said flatly, sipping her tea.

Ye Cheng: "…"