Large-scale Socially Awkward Moment, Old Cow, Old Cow, Why Do You Graze on Young Grass...

The Tang family.

Outside the courtyard.

"Son, nephews, you came at the perfect time. Hurry up and talk some sense into your grandfather!"

Tang Shouye's legs were pedaling so fast they were practically striking sparks, but unfortunately, his speed was still not very fast. It couldn't be helped, he was too fat. With Tang Shouye's current getup, if he changed into a more festive bright red or gold outfit, he could directly stand in a shopping mall and cosplay as the God of Wealth.

If he could still run fast like this, that would truly be seeing a ghost.

"Fat as a pig! How the hell did I give birth to a thing like you!" Old Master Tang looked at the unfilial son in front of him, who was panting after just two steps, with a face full of disappointment. Furious, he brandished the leather belt in his hand and whipped it towards the meatiest part of the other party's body!

"Smack!"

"Ahhhh!!!"

Oh my god, woo~~~

Tang Shouye, who had just slowed down to catch his breath, took the hit and bounced up with a swish, continuing to run for his life on his two short legs. Perhaps feeling wronged by this sudden strike, Tang Shouye also started to talk back.

"What do you mean I'm as fat as a pig? I call this being full-figured! Besides, Dad, if I'm a pig, what does that make you?" Tang Shouye said as he ran. Discovering that no one seemed to be chasing him anymore, he couldn't help but look back in confusion.

Hmm?

Why did the old man stop chasing him? Did he suddenly grow a conscience today, stopping after just a couple of whacks?

He saw Old Master Tang behind him taking off his outer jacket, revealing a white undershirt. His exaggeratedly low body fat percentage was very obvious, with bulging muscles and countless terrifying scars—knife wounds, stab wounds, and gunshot wounds... permanently carved onto his body like medals.

Seeing this, Tang Shouye's heart skipped a beat.

Gulp. He swallowed a mouthful of saliva.

"Well... Dad, you know I'm very filial. You can just stand there and talk, I can hear you. You don't need to come over... Ahhhh, help!!!"

"I'm going to beat you to death today, you unfilial son!" Old Master Tang simply stretched his joints, and crisp popping sounds came from his body. His muscles seemed to come alive, and his skin turned a reddish hue.

The BOSS had entered its second phase!

Tang Shouye's screams this time were louder than ever before, sounding just like a pig being slaughtered for the New Year. Even Tang's Mother and the rest of the group who were still eating inside the house heard it.

"Smack!"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"

Old Master Tang, wearing his old black-and-white cloth shoes, stomped heavily on the ground and charged forward. At the same time, he swung the leather belt in his hand, landing a precise and unmistakable smack on Tang Shouye's body, causing the latter to let out a pig-slaughtering scream.

Facts proved... human potential is limitless. Tang Shouye was originally out of energy, but after taking this hit, his two short legs turned into Hot Wheels just like Ye Cheng's, bouncing rapidly as he dashed out of the courtyard.

He disappeared in the blink of an eye, leaving Old Master Tang stunned. It seemed he hadn't expected his pig-fat unfilial son to be able to run so fast.

Old Master Tang snorted coldly and chased after him in berserk mode, leaving only a group of the younger generation of the Tang family looking at each other in dismay in the courtyard.

"Fourth Uncle won't be beaten to death, right?"

"Probably not, my dad has thick skin."

"So, do we just go back inside and eat now?"

"That's probably not a good idea. Mom and Second Aunt told us to come out and stop the fight, but we ended up just watching the show. If we go back like this and still expect to eat, we'll learn our lesson when our allowance gets docked."

The brothers nodded... Hmm, makes sense.

"Then what do we do? My phone is still inside, so I can't even scroll through videos..."

"Let's chase after them and see. Judging by my assessment, Grandpa shouldn't whip us."

"What if your assessment is wrong?"

That one sentence silenced the brothers. Right... Grandpa indeed didn't hit them, but that was normally. Right now, their grandfather had obviously activated his berserk mode. He might just start whipping indiscriminately, and in the end, they would be the unlucky ones.

"Probably not. It's fine, we'll just stand on the sidelines and try to persuade him. If Grandpa sees red and goes crazy, isn't Lao San still here? We can just put Lao San on the front lines when the time comes."

The person who came up with this idea was Tang Shouye's eldest son. Not only that, but he was also the one who just said Tang Shouye had thick skin... Truly a deeply devoted brother and powerfully filial son!

Lao San was Tang Shouye's youngest son. He had just finished kindergarten and was about to start first grade. He was practically a carbon copy of Tang Shouye when he was little—chubby, with a round head and a round brain. He was the dream grandson type for any grandmother, and he was also a sweet talker.

He had perfectly inherited all of his old father's merits...

Even if Old Master Tang really saw red, he wouldn't lay a hand on this youngest grandson of his. In the past, Old Master Tang loved holding Lao San the most, since he was so chubby...

The brothers nodded. "Good idea. Let's go."

After speaking, they silently gathered their gazes onto Lao San, the youngest, shortest, and roundest one who looked exactly like a grandmother's dream grandson.

Lao San: "..."

Lao San: "Well... brothers, I really need to pee. You guys go ahead, I'm going to the bathroom first."

"Hehe, Lao San, at this point, do you think you still have a chance to run away? Off you go!"

"This is too despicable! Let me go! You guys are too shameless, have you no decency..."

"Hehe, Lao San, the battle for succession has always been like this. If you want to blame someone, blame yourself for being born late, mwahahaha..."

The brothers grabbed Lao San, who was trying to grease his soles and slip away, picked him up, and chased outside. All that could be heard was Lao San's insulted and resentful voice... Damn it, so shameless!!!

Meanwhile, inside the house.

"What was that sound?" The dutiful woman paused when she heard the scream from outside and glanced out with a bit of confusion.

Tang's Mother waved her hand very casually. "It's nothing. It's probably the neighbors slaughtering a pig."

"Oh, is that so?" Hearing what Tang's Mother said, the dutiful woman nodded in agreement. It did sound a bit like a pig being slaughtered.

The pretty woman: "..."

If she hadn't misheard, that voice just now should have been her husband's voice... But... now that you mention it, you really can't deny that it sounded just like a pig being slaughtered.

If it were before, the pretty woman would definitely be very worried and would drag Tang's Mother outside to break up the fight. But after it happened so many times, the pretty woman had gotten used to it. It was practically a mandatory program performed every time they visited, and she was accustomed to it.

At worst, if the beating was a bit too severe, she would just apply some medicine for him when they got home. It wasn't a big deal.

Besides... this was a special way of communication between a father and son. As an outsider, it was better for her not to interject, lest her good intentions be mistaken for ill intent.

She still remembered the first time she married into the Tang family. On the very first day, she saw her husband getting whipped. The pretty woman was dumbfounded at the time and felt incredibly anxious. She hurriedly ran to Tang's Mother to plead for mercy, shedding tears and feeling extremely aggrieved.

As a result... in the end, she was even scolded when she went home.

"Honey, don't cry and sniffle next time. Although my mom is easy to talk to, she can't stand people who cry at the drop of a hat. Also, my dad whipping me is just for fun. It's a way to bond, you wouldn't understand..."

Her good intentions were turned against her, and she was accused of "not understanding things." Furious, the beautiful woman immediately made the heartless fat bastard sleep on the living room sofa for a week!

Initially, the beautiful woman thought she was being ostracized as an outsider, and that Tang Shouye was just taking his family's side. She had felt wronged, but... as time passed, after visiting more often and spending more time with them, she realized... what he said was actually spot on.

Whipping someone really was their way of bonding, although it was strictly limited to the father and son... Since it was like this, with one willing to hit and the other willing to take it, what else could she say?

If it sounds like slaughtering a pig, then so be it, hmph!

The beautiful woman looked toward the tightly shut door outside and gave a soft snort. Then, she withdrew her gaze, continued to hold Tang's Mother's arm, and stared unblinkingly at her sister-in-law's phone.

To be exact, she was staring at her sister-in-law's boyfriend on the phone screen.

His looks... were simply too ridiculously handsome!

"Little Sister, are you sure there are no beauty filters on this?" the beautiful woman asked, her face full of shock and her tone filled with awe. She looked at it again and again, and every time she did, she felt he looked even better than the last.

Not bad at all. Her sister-in-law really hit the jackpot. His appearance was absolutely impressive, way more impressive than the son of the old friend recommended by Old Master Tang earlier. Of course, that was strictly speaking in terms of looks, since the other guy's qualifications in other aspects were also quite impressive.

Tang Yuyao was currently feeling a bit "on cloud nine," the corners of her mouth curling up wildly. She loved seeing this shocked expression on her sister-in-law's face. The more shocked she was, the more thrilled Tang Yuyao felt.

After all, her fourth sister-in-law had been the main force among those urging her to go on blind dates. She had talked until Tang Yuyao's head hurt, throwing out all sorts of rhetoric—things like "you couldn't find a catch like this even with a lantern," or "if you miss out now, you'll be secretly crying in the middle of the night when you turn thirty"...

Now, Tang Yuyao felt like the protagonist in one of those "Crooked-Mouth Dragon King" short dramas.

Like... the three-year pact is up, the Dragon King returns, and all that... Hahaha, it felt way too good!!!

So showing off and slapping faces felt this amazing!

An average person definitely wouldn't have this effect. The root reason was that Ye Cheng was simply too impressively handsome, and his physique was equally impressive. At the time, the clothes Ye Cheng was wearing were quite sheer, and coupled with the lighting... his superb muscle lines could be seen clear as day.

He looked just like one of those meticulously photoshopped pictures of "internet heartthrobs," the kind that would have an explosive effect if used to seek a relationship online. Not to mention, Ye Cheng was all natural—no editing, just pure raw stats!

As soon as the photo was brought out, the effect was explosive!

It stunned everyone present. Compared to Tang's Mother and her two sisters-in-law, Tang Yuyao could more clearly feel the shock and disbelief radiating from her young nieces.

The eyes of the few remaining young nieces were glued to the screen. Leaning over their mothers' shoulders, their eyes were wide and perfectly round, not blinking even once. The more they acted like this, the more thrilled Tang Yuyao became!

Hmph, that's what you get for pressuring me to go on blind dates!

If memes could be personified, Tang Yuyao would undoubtedly be standing with her hands on her hips, nostrils pointing to the sky, looking down her nose at everyone present with an incredibly smug expression, and then... her mouth would curl up wildly.

Tang Yuyao appeared silent now, barely saying a word the whole time. Initially, it was out of a guilty conscience, after all, she was using Ye Cheng's photo to fake having a boyfriend... But now it was different. Now, Tang Yuyao was worried that the moment she opened her mouth, she would burst out laughing out loud. Hahaha, it felt way too good!!!

At this moment... the brain-rotting dangers of idol dramas and soap operas had materialized. Tang Yuyao was now sitting at the same table as Ye Cheng, whose brain had been rotted by short videos, and Mrs. Du, whose brain had been rotted by mindless short dramas.

Three people, three different methods of brain rot, ultimately displaying the same "full of wisdom" look in their eyes... Let Konoha... oh wait, no, let Dahai City or whatever be destroyed already!

"Auntie, Uncle-in-law is so handsome and so young! I feel like he's the same age as me!"

The one who said this was the eldest daughter of the dutiful woman, Tang Jianjun's eldest daughter. She was very pretty, tall and slender, and had just started college not long ago...

That single sentence instantly silenced Tang Yuyao.

Wasn't that the truth... It wasn't just a feeling, they were exactly the same age!

Silently, a voice popped up in Tang Yuyao's mind... Ptooey~ An old cow eating tender grass!

Tang Yuyao: "..."

The smile on Tang Yuyao's face stiffened a bit, but she bit the bullet and replied to her niece, "Hahaha, yeah, he just looks young..."

He didn't just look young... he was almost ten years younger!

Tang Yuyao was sweating bullets now. She didn't want to keep dwelling on the topic of age, otherwise the truth would burst out. She was already automatically imagining the weird looks her "reliable old mother" and two sisters-in-law would give her.

As if they were saying... Old cow, old cow, why are you eating tender grass~~~

Tang Yuyao: "..."

"Young is good! I like them young!" Tang's Mother nodded, fully agreeing with her daughter's statement. As expected of her own flesh and blood, even their tastes and preferences were exactly the same—they both liked younger men!

Tang's Mother was older than Old Master Tang. The difference wasn't much, probably less than three years.

Tang's Mother's favorite saying was "A wife three years older holds a brick of gold," because it made her seem extremely valuable. A gold brick, after all!

"By the way, dear, how much younger is he exactly? He looks about twenty-two or twenty-three, maybe three or four years younger. But age isn't an issue. I'm also about three years older than your dad..."

Tang's Mother analyzed while looking at Ye Cheng's photo, making Tang Yuyao's scalp tingle as she listened... Old cow, old cow, why are you eating tender grass~~~

Once again, that weird "music" echoed in Tang Yuyao's mind, and her heart rate began to speed up.

"Well... he isn't that much younger, just, maybe one or two years..."

"One or two years, that's great!" Tang's Mother felt there was no problem and nodded.

"Two or three years..." Tang Yuyao stammered.

"Two or three years is perfect, your dad and I have the same age gap!" Tang's Mother felt there was no problem and highly approved!

"Three or four years..." Tang Yuyao's eyes darted around.

"It's fine, a wife three years older holds a brick of gold. Dear, Mom supports you!" Tang's Mother highly approved!

"Four or five years..." Tang Yuyao looked incredibly guilty.

"Dear, why don't you just say it all in one breath? Mom only has an elementary school diploma and doesn't have that big of a vocabulary. Just spit it out, stop keeping Mom in suspense." Tang's Mother smacked her lips a couple of times.

How was the number getting bigger and bigger?

A gold brick is good and all, but you can't just keep holding more of them. Who could even hold onto that much...

Under the gaze of her mother, two sisters-in-law, and several nieces, Tang Yuyao bit the bullet and spoke up, stammering for a good while before her words could be heard clearly.

"It is not too bad, just... just an eight or nine-year difference..." Tang Yuyao kept her head down, not daring to meet the eyes of the people around her.

Eight or nine years?

Tang's Mother counted on her fingers for a moment. Eight or nine years, eight or nine years... her daughter was twenty-seven this year. If they went by a nine-year difference, that meant the boy was only eighteen this year. Eighteen...

Huh?

"Eighteen!!!" Tang's Mother stared at her daughter in shock, her face full of absolute disbelief.

"Daughter, you are way too savage! The boy has barely come of age and you have already sunk your claws into him!"

Tang Yuyao: "..."

The two women: "..."

The nieces: "..."

The logic might be sound, but... wasn't her phrasing a little too crude?

Tang Yuyao's face flushed completely red, so red it looked like it could drip blood. Her ears were burning hot. Both of her hands gripped her knees so tightly that her knuckles turned white. Her toes curled against the floor so hard she wished she could dig out a three-bedroom apartment right then and there...

Old cow, old cow, why must you graze on tender grass~~~

Boohoo... stop talking, if you say another word I am going to die of embarrassment, boohoo...

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