The Infirmary.
Another perfectly uneventful and lazy day. She’d binge-watched a soap opera, an idol drama, and then some… By all accounts, life should’ve felt fulfilling!
Yet, for some reason, Tang Yuyao couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. She just couldn’t put her finger on what exactly was off, but the unease lingered.
Because of this nagging discomfort, Tang Yuyao had cycled through countless lounging positions while watching TV in the infirmary, but nothing felt quite right. Something was still lacking.
Until—
Near the end of her shift, footsteps echoed in the hallway outside.
Tang Yuyao, mid-bite into an apple, perked up instantly at the sound. She wasn’t even sure why she felt so excited, but excitement surged through her anyway. Hastily, she straightened her posture, transforming into a picture of ladylike grace.
But being ladylike wasn’t enough—she had to look like a refined intellectual too. She scrambled to put on the gold-rimmed glasses she’d just taken off and snatched a book from the desk, pretending to read with "rapt interest."
As the footsteps drew closer, Tang Yuyao’s composure frayed. The moment the door opened, she preemptively blurted out:
"Kid, what are you doing here again?" Her tone dripped with inexplicable confidence.
Silence.
The boy at the door, clutching a hand with what looked like a minor scrape, stared at her in bewilderment. Tang Yuyao studied him—male, yes. A kid, sure. But… not the one she’d been expecting.
After a long pause, the boy hesitantly asked, "Uh… do we know each other?"
Tang Yuyao: "…"
In the end, she handed him a band-aid and shooed him away.
Before leaving, the boy hesitated. "Doc, are you sure a band-aid’s enough? Isn’t it kinda small?"
"Ugh, just use more than one if it’s too small!" Tang Yuyao snapped, her impatience flaring like she’d hit menopause early.
The boy wisely decided against arguing and left with the handful of band-aids she’d thrust at him.
"Seriously? Any later and that ‘injury’ would’ve healed on its own. Tch."
"Rich kids, I swear. A tiny scratch and they need a whole band-aid. Unbelievable…"
The spacious infirmary echoed with Tang Yuyao’s muttering. For some reason, today’s soliloquy carried an extra dose of bitterness.
After grumbling for a while, Tang Yuyao still seemed unsatisfied. She checked the time—technically, she could’ve left already—but stubbornly sat through two more episodes of her soap opera before finally shutting down the computer at closing time.
Thud!
Tang Yuyao stomped her high heel against the floor, as if venting some pent-up frustration.
What exactly she was mad about, she couldn’t say. She just felt irrationally irritated, itching to punch something.
Quietly, she resolved to buy a punching bag when she got home—something to hit whenever she felt like this.
After packing up, she locked the infirmary and left.
Today, Tang Yuyao had skipped meals entirely, subsisting on two apples—one in the morning, one at night. Lunch? Sacrificed to the gods of weight loss. Now, her stomach housed nothing but the "corpses" of those two apples.
Despite the hunger gnawing at her, she had no appetite. Food just didn’t appeal to her right now. Everything felt aggravating!
Bang!
Back home, Tang Yuyao collapsed onto the couch as usual, her eyes glazed over as she stared at the soap opera playing on TV.
"So bad…" She sighed, then flopped over like a dead fish and turned off the show she’d supposedly "loved" up until today.
Fickle woman. One day it’s her favorite, the next it’s trash.
"Whatever. It’s not like I care if he doesn’t show up. Hmph."
In the silence of her apartment, Tang Yuyao suddenly spat out those words, then proceeded to pummel her couch like it owed her money.
"Screw it! Stupid jerk, dumb kid, idiot…"
She got increasingly worked up, punching and cursing with such enthusiasm that she didn’t notice the person now standing outside her door.
Knock knock knock!
"Dr. Tang! Open up! It’s me—community welfare delivery!!!" Ye Cheng’s voice boomed from the hallway.
Tang Yuyao: "???"
Her violent couch assault halted mid-swing. Her face froze. Was she… hallucinating?
"Mommy, open the door! It’s me!" Ye Cheng’s faux-innocent voice chirped from outside.
Tang Yuyao: "…"
Nope, not a hallucination. That level of shamelessness and those unhinged words could only belong to one person—that inhuman iced-tea-guzzling brat.
The gloom in Tang Yuyao’s eyes vanished, replaced by eager anticipation. She sprang up to open the door—only to backtrack halfway.
Wait!
She frantically scanned the room for any "equipment" she might’ve left lying around during her earlier meltdown. After a thorough inspection, she finally relaxed.
Okay!
Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she marched to the door and yanked it open.
Click!
"Kid, what’s wrong with you? It’s the middle of the night—why aren’t you—GYAAAH!!!"
Whack!
True to form, Tang Yuyao led with her usual "annoyed" tone, though her actions (flinging the door open eagerly) told a different story.
Oh.
Oh wow.
A wild, sculpted-muscle gourd boy stood before her. (Note: "Gourd boy" refers to the Chinese folkloric "Huluwa" or Calabash Brothers, known for their superhuman strength and childlike innocence.)
The sheer visual impact short-circuited Tang Yuyao’s brain. Instinct took over—her hand lashed out in a legendary "Sky-Splitting Slap"!
SMACK!
"AAAAAHHHH!!!!" Ye Cheng’s scream could’ve been lifted straight from a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
……
Inside the apartment.
"Serves you right! Who walks around dressed like that at night?!" Tang Yuyao dabbed ointment on Ye Cheng’s injuries while tossing out snide remarks, her eyes occasionally flicking back to his physique.
Damn… Who knew this kid was packing like this?
Her mind involuntarily replayed scenes from those soap operas she’d watched—except instead of brooding CEOs, the protagonist was now… a ridiculously jacked feral gourd boy.
"There’s nothing wrong with my outfit! All the essential areas are covered. I’m basically wearing a bikini. Ugh, society’s so judgmental these days. Can’t even rock a bikini without getting assaulted. Tragic…"
Ye Cheng sighed, the picture of a man who’d seen too much of life’s cruelty.
Tang Yuyao: "…"
"Ever consider that you’re male and therefore can’t wear a bikini?" Tang Yuyao knew this wasn’t the point, but she couldn’t resist calling out his nonsense.
"What do you mean I'm actually a man?" Ye Cheng looked utterly shocked.
Tang Yuyao: "???"
Even if Ye Cheng had said something like, "Why can't men wear bikinis?" Tang Yuyao could have accepted it—after all, she was used to his erratic train of thought. But she never expected him to say something like, "I’m actually a man?"
Is this guy an idiot?!
And then… Ye Cheng proceeded to "check" right in front of Tang Yuyao.
Tang Yuyao: "???"
"Whew, that scared me. Turns out I really am a man." Ye Cheng let out a sigh of relief, wiping away the nonexistent cold sweat on his forehead.
Tang Yuyao: "???"
"Wait, you little brat, what the hell were you just doing?" Tang Yuyao stared at him in disbelief.
"What’s the big deal? I had doubts about my gender, so I checked. Doctor Tang, what era are you living in? You shouldn’t judge people by appearances. Just because I walk into the men’s bathroom doesn’t mean you can assume my gender. For all you know, my gender could be a Walmart shopping bag…"
Amid Ye Cheng’s outrageous rant, Tang Yuyao began questioning her years of medical training, her education, and even her own gender.
Like Ye Cheng said—how could she be so sure she was a woman? Just because she used the women’s bathroom? Could it really be…?
While Ye Cheng continued his verbal onslaught, seemingly trying to morph into a "Cthulhu" for a shot at immortality, Tang Yuyao seemed to have an "epiphany." Silently, she stood up, walked to the kitchen, and grabbed a cleaver.
Thud!
The cleaver slammed onto the table in front of Ye Cheng as Tang Yuyao stared at him with eerie calm.
"Now tell me—are you a man, a woman, or… a Walmart shopping bag?"
Ye Cheng: "..."
In principle, Ye Cheng could have kept arguing. But the problem was, the "principle" was currently in Tang Yuyao’s hand…
"Mommy, you’re so serious! I was just messing around, haha! I don’t want any apples, so you can put the knife away now, okay? Hahaha…"
Seeing Ye Cheng back down, Tang Yuyao narrowed her eyes, snorted, and finally put the "principle" away.
That was close—almost got dragged into that little brat’s nonsense.
With a cold expression, she glared at Ye Cheng, feigning impatience. "So, why the hell did you come to my place in the middle of the night?"
"To sleep!" Ye Cheng blinked, his face the picture of "innocence."
Tang Yuyao: "???"
ing gift was a patch of barren land, and disciples were all picked up along the way. He spent fifty years diligently building three "ramshackle little sects," thinking he could finally live a carefree life relying on his disciples. But right at the fifty-year mark, he was suddenly swept away by a spatial rift and exiled to the Chaos Desolation, the Disorderly Ruins. There was no spiritual energy there, only slaughter. Relying on the cultivation feedback from his disciples, Gu Changyuan hacked his way through a sea of blood for eleven hundred years. When the system finally fished him back out, he discovered the ramshackle little sects he'd built back then had developed a rather... unusual style. Hold on... I vanished for a thousand years, so how did my ramshackle little sects become holy lands?!
world slacker. But a genius female disciple just had to get clingy, insisting that he take her as a disciple. Not only that, she was always making advances on him, thoroughly disrupting his peaceful slacker life...
young master of the Shen family—a figure of immense power and wealth beyond measure—and awakened the "Destined Ultimate Villain System"! His starting scenario? Running into his icy fiancée who shows up with a mountain-descending divine doctor to break off their engagement. The divine doctor arrogantly taunts: "What does your Shen family have besides a bit of stinking money? You're not even worthy of tying Qingxue's shoelaces!" Shen Fei just smiled. He completely defied the usual script: "Fine, I agree to break off the engagement. Also, notify the finance department to withdraw all investments from the Su family." Minutes later, with its capital chain severed, the Su Group teetered on the brink of bankruptcy! The once aloof and proud ice queen CEO was thrown into utter panic. That very night, she went to Shen Fei's villa, casting aside all dignity to beg and plead desperately... From then on, in this world teeming with Sons of Destiny, Shen Fei embarked on a path of extreme dimensional suppression! A mountain-descending divine doctor? Peerless medical skills? Shen Fei: "Reporting you for practicing medicine without a license! I'll gladly take your ancient medicinal cauldron and twin sister assassins." The Crooked-Smiling Dragon King? Commanding a hundred thousand soldiers with a single order? Shen Fei: "Illegal assembly and suspected treason! Let a fleet of attack helicopters sanitize the area and teach you what the state apparatus really means!" A reborn tycoon? Knows all the golden opportunities of the next decade? Shen Fei: "A trillion in capital to reverse and pump the stock market, making you blow your margin and jump on the very first day of your rebirth!" What Chosen Ones? What bearers of Heavenly Fortune? In Shen Fei's eyes, they're all just chives (i.e., suckers/marks) waiting to be harvested! Shen Fei: "Sorry, but as the Destined Ultimate Villain, I don't play by the rules of honor. I only play the game of dimensional suppression."
ap a wealthy young lady? Or else I'll be eliminated by the system? Ye Feng, who awakened the Kidnapper System, originally wanted to live a peaceful life but never imagined he would become a kidnapper of young women. However, after some time, he discovered that all the girls the system ordered him to kidnap were far from ordinary. "Big brother Ye Feng~ You've kidnapped my heart, and now you're not allowed to leave me ever again~" "Ye Feng~ You kidnapped me back then, now it's my turn to capture you♡" "Little Feng, you're mine! You can only be mine!" "Ye Feng, none of them deserve you. Only I love you the most♡" ... This is madness, they've all gone mad! Wait, what? Why are all the girls I kidnapped yanderes?!
