The Infirmary.
Another perfectly uneventful and lazy day. She’d binge-watched a soap opera, an idol drama, and then some… By all accounts, life should’ve felt fulfilling!
Yet, for some reason, Tang Yuyao couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. She just couldn’t put her finger on what exactly was off, but the unease lingered.
Because of this nagging discomfort, Tang Yuyao had cycled through countless lounging positions while watching TV in the infirmary, but nothing felt quite right. Something was still lacking.
Until—
Near the end of her shift, footsteps echoed in the hallway outside.
Tang Yuyao, mid-bite into an apple, perked up instantly at the sound. She wasn’t even sure why she felt so excited, but excitement surged through her anyway. Hastily, she straightened her posture, transforming into a picture of ladylike grace.
But being ladylike wasn’t enough—she had to look like a refined intellectual too. She scrambled to put on the gold-rimmed glasses she’d just taken off and snatched a book from the desk, pretending to read with "rapt interest."
As the footsteps drew closer, Tang Yuyao’s composure frayed. The moment the door opened, she preemptively blurted out:
"Kid, what are you doing here again?" Her tone dripped with inexplicable confidence.
Silence.
The boy at the door, clutching a hand with what looked like a minor scrape, stared at her in bewilderment. Tang Yuyao studied him—male, yes. A kid, sure. But… not the one she’d been expecting.
After a long pause, the boy hesitantly asked, "Uh… do we know each other?"
Tang Yuyao: "…"
In the end, she handed him a band-aid and shooed him away.
Before leaving, the boy hesitated. "Doc, are you sure a band-aid’s enough? Isn’t it kinda small?"
"Ugh, just use more than one if it’s too small!" Tang Yuyao snapped, her impatience flaring like she’d hit menopause early.
The boy wisely decided against arguing and left with the handful of band-aids she’d thrust at him.
"Seriously? Any later and that ‘injury’ would’ve healed on its own. Tch."
"Rich kids, I swear. A tiny scratch and they need a whole band-aid. Unbelievable…"
The spacious infirmary echoed with Tang Yuyao’s muttering. For some reason, today’s soliloquy carried an extra dose of bitterness.
After grumbling for a while, Tang Yuyao still seemed unsatisfied. She checked the time—technically, she could’ve left already—but stubbornly sat through two more episodes of her soap opera before finally shutting down the computer at closing time.
Thud!
Tang Yuyao stomped her high heel against the floor, as if venting some pent-up frustration.
What exactly she was mad about, she couldn’t say. She just felt irrationally irritated, itching to punch something.
Quietly, she resolved to buy a punching bag when she got home—something to hit whenever she felt like this.
After packing up, she locked the infirmary and left.
Today, Tang Yuyao had skipped meals entirely, subsisting on two apples—one in the morning, one at night. Lunch? Sacrificed to the gods of weight loss. Now, her stomach housed nothing but the "corpses" of those two apples.
Despite the hunger gnawing at her, she had no appetite. Food just didn’t appeal to her right now. Everything felt aggravating!
Bang!
Back home, Tang Yuyao collapsed onto the couch as usual, her eyes glazed over as she stared at the soap opera playing on TV.
"So bad…" She sighed, then flopped over like a dead fish and turned off the show she’d supposedly "loved" up until today.
Fickle woman. One day it’s her favorite, the next it’s trash.
"Whatever. It’s not like I care if he doesn’t show up. Hmph."
In the silence of her apartment, Tang Yuyao suddenly spat out those words, then proceeded to pummel her couch like it owed her money.
"Screw it! Stupid jerk, dumb kid, idiot…"
She got increasingly worked up, punching and cursing with such enthusiasm that she didn’t notice the person now standing outside her door.
Knock knock knock!
"Dr. Tang! Open up! It’s me—community welfare delivery!!!" Ye Cheng’s voice boomed from the hallway.
Tang Yuyao: "???"
Her violent couch assault halted mid-swing. Her face froze. Was she… hallucinating?
"Mommy, open the door! It’s me!" Ye Cheng’s faux-innocent voice chirped from outside.
Tang Yuyao: "…"
Nope, not a hallucination. That level of shamelessness and those unhinged words could only belong to one person—that inhuman iced-tea-guzzling brat.
The gloom in Tang Yuyao’s eyes vanished, replaced by eager anticipation. She sprang up to open the door—only to backtrack halfway.
Wait!
She frantically scanned the room for any "equipment" she might’ve left lying around during her earlier meltdown. After a thorough inspection, she finally relaxed.
Okay!
Taking a deep breath to steady herself, she marched to the door and yanked it open.
Click!
"Kid, what’s wrong with you? It’s the middle of the night—why aren’t you—GYAAAH!!!"
Whack!
True to form, Tang Yuyao led with her usual "annoyed" tone, though her actions (flinging the door open eagerly) told a different story.
Oh.
Oh wow.
A wild, sculpted-muscle gourd boy stood before her. (Note: "Gourd boy" refers to the Chinese folkloric "Huluwa" or Calabash Brothers, known for their superhuman strength and childlike innocence.)
The sheer visual impact short-circuited Tang Yuyao’s brain. Instinct took over—her hand lashed out in a legendary "Sky-Splitting Slap"!
SMACK!
"AAAAAHHHH!!!!" Ye Cheng’s scream could’ve been lifted straight from a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
……
Inside the apartment.
"Serves you right! Who walks around dressed like that at night?!" Tang Yuyao dabbed ointment on Ye Cheng’s injuries while tossing out snide remarks, her eyes occasionally flicking back to his physique.
Damn… Who knew this kid was packing like this?
Her mind involuntarily replayed scenes from those soap operas she’d watched—except instead of brooding CEOs, the protagonist was now… a ridiculously jacked feral gourd boy.
"There’s nothing wrong with my outfit! All the essential areas are covered. I’m basically wearing a bikini. Ugh, society’s so judgmental these days. Can’t even rock a bikini without getting assaulted. Tragic…"
Ye Cheng sighed, the picture of a man who’d seen too much of life’s cruelty.
Tang Yuyao: "…"
"Ever consider that you’re male and therefore can’t wear a bikini?" Tang Yuyao knew this wasn’t the point, but she couldn’t resist calling out his nonsense.
"What do you mean I'm actually a man?" Ye Cheng looked utterly shocked.
Tang Yuyao: "???"
Even if Ye Cheng had said something like, "Why can't men wear bikinis?" Tang Yuyao could have accepted it—after all, she was used to his erratic train of thought. But she never expected him to say something like, "I’m actually a man?"
Is this guy an idiot?!
And then… Ye Cheng proceeded to "check" right in front of Tang Yuyao.
Tang Yuyao: "???"
"Whew, that scared me. Turns out I really am a man." Ye Cheng let out a sigh of relief, wiping away the nonexistent cold sweat on his forehead.
Tang Yuyao: "???"
"Wait, you little brat, what the hell were you just doing?" Tang Yuyao stared at him in disbelief.
"What’s the big deal? I had doubts about my gender, so I checked. Doctor Tang, what era are you living in? You shouldn’t judge people by appearances. Just because I walk into the men’s bathroom doesn’t mean you can assume my gender. For all you know, my gender could be a Walmart shopping bag…"
Amid Ye Cheng’s outrageous rant, Tang Yuyao began questioning her years of medical training, her education, and even her own gender.
Like Ye Cheng said—how could she be so sure she was a woman? Just because she used the women’s bathroom? Could it really be…?
While Ye Cheng continued his verbal onslaught, seemingly trying to morph into a "Cthulhu" for a shot at immortality, Tang Yuyao seemed to have an "epiphany." Silently, she stood up, walked to the kitchen, and grabbed a cleaver.
Thud!
The cleaver slammed onto the table in front of Ye Cheng as Tang Yuyao stared at him with eerie calm.
"Now tell me—are you a man, a woman, or… a Walmart shopping bag?"
Ye Cheng: "..."
In principle, Ye Cheng could have kept arguing. But the problem was, the "principle" was currently in Tang Yuyao’s hand…
"Mommy, you’re so serious! I was just messing around, haha! I don’t want any apples, so you can put the knife away now, okay? Hahaha…"
Seeing Ye Cheng back down, Tang Yuyao narrowed her eyes, snorted, and finally put the "principle" away.
That was close—almost got dragged into that little brat’s nonsense.
With a cold expression, she glared at Ye Cheng, feigning impatience. "So, why the hell did you come to my place in the middle of the night?"
"To sleep!" Ye Cheng blinked, his face the picture of "innocence."
Tang Yuyao: "???"
lity and could only live as an ordinary mortal. He only wished to live a peaceful life. Yet he didn't know— The dog he adopted, because it ate his food, became a legendary demon king. The kitchen knife he casually forged became a peerless divine weapon, causing numerous experts to fight desperately for it. The young disciple he took in became an immortal lord that led an era, due to cultivating the techniques Ye Feng taught him. Even the skeletons he looked down on the most were ominous demon kings that suppressed countless worlds. Many years later, looking at the void shattered with a punch, Ye Feng murmured to himself: It turns out the peerless kings were myself all along...
ut it can buy an entire year of absolutely perfect training results! Su Yu stared at his empty wallet and decisively opened up various online loan platforms. “Borrow a thousand bucks! Recharge my vitality!” Boom! His vitality broke a hundred points, shattering the limits of the human body! “Borrow ten thousand bucks! Recharge my combat skills!” Boom! A basic punching technique so common it was everywhere instantly maxed out, revealing the ultimate assassination technique of Five Elements Unity—Inner Force! When a rich kid hired assassins for a midnight ambush, aiming to break both of his legs, they instead ran headfirst into a monster—a human-shaped tyrannosaur, brimming with dragon-like vitality. With just two fingers, Su Yu snapped a steel staff reinforced with alloy. Staring at the killer’s stash of stolen cash—a staggering quarter-million dollars—he showed a corporate-sincere smile: “Thanks for the pre-exam gift pack, Mr. Zhao! I’m gonna go re-invest this!” Three days later, at the National Martial Arts College Entrance Exam, while everyone else struggled just to reach the passing line, Su Yu threw a single punch—and more than a thousand vitality points literally detonated the entire arena!
't think I'm that capable, I'm just trying my best to stay alive. I've been kind all my life, never did anything bad, yet worldly suffering spared me not one bit. The human world is a nice place, but I won't come back in my next life. A kind young man, who wanted to just get by singing, but through repeated deceits and betrayals, has gone down an irredeemable path.
e bizarre and supernatural had descended. The previous emperor was a thoroughgoing tyrant; no longer satisfied with human women, he had set his sights on a stunningly beautiful supernatural entity. He met his end in his bedchamber, drained of all his vital essence. As the legitimate eldest son and crown prince, Wang Hao was thus hastily enthroned, becoming the young emperor of the Great Zhou Dynasty. No sooner had he awakened the "Imperial Sign-In Intelligence System" than he was assassinated by a Son of Destiny—a classic villain's opening. The Great Zhou, ravaged by the former emperor's excesses, was in national decline. The great families within its borders harbored their own treacherous schemes, martial sects began to defy the imperial court's decrees, and border armies, their pay and provisions in arrears, grumbled incessantly against the central government. Fortunately, the central capital was still held secure by the half-million Imperial Guards and fifty thousand Imperial Forest Army who obeyed the court's orders, along with the royal family's hidden reserves of power, barely managing to suppress the realm. As the Great Zhou's finances worsened and supernatural activities grew ever more frequent, the court sat atop a volcano. Ambitious plotters everywhere dreamed of overthrowing the dynasty, and even some reclusive ancient powers emerged, attempting to sway the tides of the world. At the first grand court assembly, the civil and military officials nearly came to blows, fighting tooth and nail over the allocation of fifty million taels of silver from the summer tax revenues. The spectacle opened Wang Hao's eyes—the Great Zhou's bureaucracy was not only corrupt but also martially proficient, a cabinet of all-rounders. Some officials even had the audacity to suggest the emperor release funds from the imperial privy purse to address the emergency. Wang Hao suddenly felt weary. Let it all burn.
