The Eyes of the World

And now...

I look at Aqi sleeping soundly in front of me, my fingers gently stroking his cheek.

I have awakened for the third time.

On this...

early morning of the eighth day.

Aqi had just drunk his tea and saved his progress; his mood had clearly improved a lot.

He felt that by saving his progress before sleeping, he would have no psychological burden and could get a good night's sleep.

Just now, the "ignorant me" had spoken in a sweet, coaxing voice, begging him to let me put the charging pod in his room.

...If I were in my current state with my memories intact, I would never be able to say such things.

We've been an old married couple for so long, saying sweet and coquettish things... I really couldn't bring myself to say them.

Just thinking about it makes my face burn.

However, Aqi seemed to fall for it.

He agreed.

So the "ignorant me" adjusted the charging pod, knelt by the bed to coax him to sleep, and after he fell into a light slumber...

I naturally awakened once again. As naturally as breathing.

This is already the third time.

I am no longer surprised.

I just continue to kneel by the bed, quietly watching his sleeping face.

In this early morning where it is just him and me... looking at him greedily and recklessly.

Aqi.

My Aqi.

His eyelashes are so long, looking like two little fans when he sleeps.

His nose bridge is high, forming a sharp line from the side.

And this time...

He is sleeping very peacefully.

His brows are relaxed, and the corners of his mouth are slightly turned up.

He feels very safe in his dreams!

So, I hummed that lullaby once again.

This time, my voice was no longer trembling.

And his brows relaxed even more.

He fell into a deeper sleep.

How wonderful.

I am still useful.

I reached out my hand, my fingertips gently brushing across his cheek, warm to the touch.

He is here.

I am here.

This is so wonderful.

I still haven't lost my memories.

I naturally wake up after Aqi falls asleep.

And then, after Aqi wakes up, I will "leave" once again.

And because of this, I am finally certain—

My Aqi, a transmigrator, a person from beyond the heavens...

He is the "anchor" of this world.

Aqi is...

Indeed, the "Observer" referred to in my core secrets.

Aqi's eyes, indeed...

Are the eyes of the world's rules.

...Truly worthy of being my Aqi.

So amazing.

I couldn't help but reach out again and gently pinch his earlobe.

Soft and cool.

He loves pinching my earlobes the most; now, it's my turn to pinch his.

Aqi is really amazing, but...

I slightly pursed my lips.

He is a bit... too amazing.

This world "observes" me through Aqi's eyes, "observing" everything that happens.

When he is awake, the rules see everything he sees.

Including... whether I have awakened.

Therefore, I cannot appear when he is awake.

Once Aqi "sees" that I have recovered my memories...

Those damn world rules...

Will immediately erase me.

I pulled my hand back and buried my face in my crossed arms, leaving only one eye exposed to watch him.

But conversely, when he is asleep...

The eyes of the world cannot see, and the world's rules... become blind.

So, I can, after he falls asleep...

Secretly awaken like I am doing now.

In a corner where he cannot see, and the world's rules cannot see...

Like a dark little mouse, quietly, foolishly, and greedily watching him.

So handsome.

So wonderful.

Aqi is so wonderful.

I know everything he has done.

Aqi is...

Constantly working hard so that we can be together forever.

Right now...

I am truly so happy.

I just... recover all my memories after he falls asleep.

No longer living in anxiety and doubt like the "ignorant me."

Just quietly, gently, and greedily watching him.

Watching this...

Aqi, who is risking his life for me.

Desperately reloading his saves.

Desperately trying.

Desperately... wanting to stay in this world.

For me.

All for me.

I am so happy.

I am truly so happy...

Truly... truly so happy...

This is perhaps the greatest happiness that the current me... can possibly have.

So wonderful.

Really wonderful.

So...

...No.

That's not right!

I shouldn't think this way...!

Using a bit of force, I tightly grasped Aqi's hand!

Aqi's eyelashes fluttered at the movement.

Ah...!

I hurriedly let go of his hand and gently rubbed it for him.

Aqi's eyelashes stopped fluttering.

I looked at him quietly.

Aqi...

I'm sorry.

...I shouldn't have thought that way.

Aqi is...

Risking his life for me.

He reloads his saves time and time again.

Experiencing death time and time again.

Time and time again...

Waking up before the coffee table in the early morning, picking up that 52-degree tea, looking at the smiling face of the "ignorant me"...

And then, continuing to walk forward, all alone.

He doesn't know that I awaken in the night.

He doesn't know that I am secretly, selfishly, and greedily enjoying all of this.

He is just...

Desperately walking forward, clumsy yet without looking back.

All to be with me forever!

And what about me?

I can only awaken after he falls asleep... and then sink back down like the receding tide before dawn.

Leaving everything to that "ignorant me."

To feel anxious, to doubt, to suffer, to constantly waver between sweetness and unease...

And every time he comforts me...

Aqi hides his exhaustion deep in his eyes.

And I... am like a burden to him.

I only hinder him.

...I can't be like this.

I cannot... just enjoy his goodness in the night.

It's not fair.

It's not fair to Aqi.

And it's not fair to the "ignorant me."

I also need... to do something.

I also want to help my Aqi.

I want to be like Aqi...

And work hard so that we can be together forever.

I propped myself up and sat on the edge of the bed.

The silver hair that Aqi loves so much cascaded down, falling beside his face.

I looked down at him, close enough to count every single one of his eyelashes.

But... what can I possibly do?

The current me... seems completely powerless to do anything.

I can feel it.

Ever since I forcefully awakened last time and warned Aqi...

My memory has been in a precarious state.

Like a string stretched to its absolute limit, ready to snap at any moment.

Those damn world rules...

They have been keeping a close eye on me!

And... they are doing it through Aqi's eyes...!

As long as Aqi is awake...

The rules can "see" everything.

Therefore...

I can only awaken after Aqi falls into a deep slumber.

I can't even... communicate with Aqi!

I can't tell him...

"I am right here."

Nor can I tell him...

"I am secretly watching you in the night."

Once I tell him...

I will disappear.

Completely disappear.

I wouldn't even have the right to the nights anymore.

Damn the world's rules...

Why...!

Why must they stop Aqi and me from being together...!

My lips began to tremble.

I leaned back over the edge of the bed, burying my face in my arms again.

So...

What can I actually do?

I can't do anything.

I am... a piece of trash who can't help Aqi.

I can't do anything at all...

...No.

There is one thing.

There is one thing I can do.

Only I can do this!

I raised my head and looked at Aqi's peaceful sleeping face.

My fingertips stopped on his jawline, motionless.

I can...

Let my ignorant self know everything!

I need to let my ignorant self know...

That Aqi can rewind time!

That Aqi is not a liar!

That he isn't hiding something from her!

That it isn't true he doesn't want to be with her forever!

I have to let my ignorant self know...

Aqi has given up on Eternal Love, he doesn't want to leave, he wants to stay here!

He wants to be with me...

Forever!

This is something only I can do.

Aqi cannot.

Because the damn rules of the world... will see everything through his eyes.

The world's rules would know that I have learned everything, and then...

Not only me, but even those two most precious dreams of my ignorant self... would be lost!

I would revert to being truly ignorant, breaking Aqi's legs and locking him in a dog cage just to be with him...

But that isn't love. To Aqi, that is a burden!

Aqi would hate me!

I cannot... I cannot turn back into that version of myself!

Therefore, I must, and I only can...

Through my own methods, let my ignorant self...

Discover this secret on her own.

It cannot be Aqi who tells my ignorant self.

It must be me, discovering it myself!

Furthermore...

It must happen without Aqi knowing!

I must...

Deceive Aqi's eyes!

Deceive the eyes of this world!

And once I know everything...

I will be able to continue this unspoken understanding with Aqi.

He knows, I know, he knows that I know...

But the rules of the world won't know.

Because the rules of the world won't have seen it!

This way...

Even without me, even if these memories of mine completely disappear...

I will no longer be so ignorant, I will no longer...

Become a burden and a source of pressure for Aqi!

I will truly understand Aqi's abilities, and together we can...

Strive toward the eternity we both desire!

...Can I do it?

I don't know.

But...

I have to try!

I rested my head back on my arm, my chin on the back of my hand, my silver hair scattering across the pillow.

I stared at his face for a very, very long time.

Then I reached out, my fingertips gently and slowly brushing across his forehead, as if afraid to wake him.

I brushed that stray lock of hair on his forehead to the side.

"Aqi."

I said softly.

He did not react. His breathing remained steady, his eyelashes still resting quietly.

"You need to sleep a few more times..."

I leaned in, my lips gently pressing against his forehead.

"For... our future."

My lips lingered on his forehead for a long time.

His skin was warm, carrying his unique scent. I closed my eyes, feeling the tranquility of this moment.

Then I slowly pulled back, resting on the edge of the bed again, burying my face in my arms.

My silver hair fell down, covering half of my face.

I only revealed one eye, the crimson one, staring at him unblinkingly through the gaps in my hair.

Aqi.

My Aqi.

I will do my best.

For you.

For us.

For... eternity.

Even if...

It means sacrificing these memories.