"Capable?" Yue Anyao nearly laughed out of sheer frustration. She reached out and grabbed Fang Zhiyi again. "Come on, come on! Look at what you've brought back!"
With her tap, an image on the machine began to enlarge. It was a cultivation world. At some sect, there seemed to be a joyous occasion—an immortal couple was hosting a grand banquet for their guests.
Fang Zhiyi didn't understand what he was looking at.
"What is this?"
"That one, Li Buyan! His mission was to help his client escape the miserable fate of being a disposable pawn!" Yue Anyao said.
In short, the original host had been toyed with by the female lead. He gave everything he had, only to become a stepping stone for the male and female leads' love story. Bitter and unwilling, he was found by the system, and that's how this commission came about.
"His request was to shed the 'simp' label and slap the male and female leads right in the face!"
"And then?" Fang Zhiyi stared at the screen.
"Then? Then Li Buyan went in, and the moment he arrived, he went into seclusion!"
"Seclusion? What's wrong with that?" Fang Zhiyi didn't follow.
Yue Anyao shot him a glare, her cheeks puffed in annoyance—inexplicably cute. "What's wrong? He showed up right when the female lead was supposed to approach him. According to protocol, he should've started plotting his counterattack. Instead, he turned around and locked himself away! The female lead gets ambushed? He's in seclusion. The female lead gets saved by the male lead? He's in seclusion. The female lead and male lead have a misunderstanding? He's in seclusion! The supporting female character gets kicked off the mountain? He's still in seclusion! Now the male and female leads have a kid together, and he still hasn't come out! You tell me what's wrong!"
Fang Zhiyi scratched his head, a little awkward.
"Li Buyan's mind is a bit stubborn, yeah. He was always the hardest worker among the sect brothers..."
Just then, Little Hei interrupted: "Hey? Li Buyan came out of seclusion?"
Fang Zhiyi and Yue Anyao both turned to the screen.
Li Buyan appeared in the frame with a cold, expressionless face.
"Xuan Ji, you finally came out! Perfect timing—today happens to be your junior sister's child's hundred-day banquet. As the senior uncle, what are you gifting?" someone teased.
Because Li Buyan had completely missed all the male lead's plot points, the male lead didn't recognize him. The moment he saw Li Buyan, the male lead simply furrowed his brow and glanced at his wife—only to see the female lead looking at this man with undisguised delight. He felt a twinge of annoyance.
"Xuan Ji, you're not trying to dodge the gift, are you?" an elder of the sect laughed heartily.
Li Buyan finally spoke.
"Gift."
"Senior brother, what are you giving me?" The female lead happily skipped over.
"A big slap to your face."
Everyone froze. Li Buyan raised his hand and delivered an open-palm smack that sent the female lead flying clean through a wall, leaving a hole in the masonry.
Fang Zhiyi was dumbstruck.
"Uh... well, that's technically face-slapping, right?"
Yue Anyao took a deep breath: "In the literal, physical sense?"
Chaos erupted in the scene. The just-emerged Li Buyan wasted no words. He used his cultivation to slam the vengeful male lead straight into the ground, then proceeded to slap him several more times in the face. What followed was even more brutal—anyone who tried to stop him ended up injured or worse.
Yue Anyao couldn't take it anymore and shut off the display.
Fang Zhiyi was a little disappointed: "Why'd you turn it off? That was exciting! I always said that kid Li Buyan would go far..." He caught the look on Yue Anyao's face and quickly shut his mouth.
"So, what about Zhao Yichen..."
"Him? That one's even more absurd!"
This time, Yue Anyao didn't even bother opening a file.
"The original host was schemed against by his own in-laws and ended up taking the fall as a criminal. But Zhao Yichen? He went in, commandeered a starship, and just took off! Took off!"
Fang Zhiyi was shocked: "What?!"
Yue Anyao looked at him: "You know, that kind of situation—"
"Commandeered a starship! And he didn't let me go!!!"
Yue Anyao's face turned completely black.
"Go on. Keep talking."
"Never mind. All you need to know is that your junior nephew is now the biggest arms dealer in the entire galaxy. He sells weapons everywhere—wherever there's a war, he's there! The most absurd part? He got his hands on a nearly scrap-grade orbital cannon and blew his original host's father-in-law's whole family sky high! Now tell me, how am I supposed to explain this to the client?"
Fang Zhiyi's eyes held a hint of envy.
Fortunately, Yue Anyao didn't notice.
"Out of the three of them, only Jiang Mubai seems like a normal person!" She kicked the machine and pressed a few buttons. A scene slowly unfolded.
A man dressed in flamboyant robes stood tall on a sacred platform, one hand gripping a staff, the other raised high as he shouted something.
Below him was a vast crowd of devout followers, all prostrating in worship.
"Great Priest, you said today we would witness a miracle? What miracle?" an old bald man asked cautiously. The Great Priest had just exposed the king's conspiracy and saved all the noble families, so their faith in him was absolute.
"The miracle?" Jiang Mubai pointed behind him. Several men yanked away a massive cloth, revealing an enormous statue!
"Great Priest, he, he is..."
"He is my martial uncle. More precisely, he is an omnipotent god! All you need to know is that I am merely his mouthpiece!"
The natives gasped and immediately kowtowed.
"Bow! Bow again! Long live the martial uncle!"
"Long live the martial uncle!"
They didn't know what "martial uncle" meant.
But at this moment, Yue Anyao, watching this, felt a headache coming on.
"I take back what I said. Every one of them you brought back is certifiably insane!"
"They seem pretty normal to me. Any normal person who takes on these jobs is bound to become abnormal eventually," Fang Zhiyi tried to defend his junior nephews.
Yue Anyao sighed deeply: "Forget it. You're finally back, so let's go home and eat first."
At the mention of food, Fang Zhiyi's face went green.
For decades, not only had Yue Anyao shown zero improvement in cooking, she'd also developed a habit of getting creative—dishes like banana-braised pork trotters were merely par for the course.
"Hey? Boss?" As they reached the door, a man spotted Fang Zhiyi with excitement.
Fang Zhiyi studied the rotund figure for a moment before it clicked: "Money Rat?"
"Heh heh. Boss, I kept hearing you were back, but I never managed to run into you." Money Rat was overjoyed.
Fang Zhiyi affectionately threw an arm around him: "Good lad, you got fatter."
"Xiao Yao, Money Rat says he hasn't seen me in ages and wants to catch up with me!"
"Huh? When did I—hey, why'd you hit me—"
Watching Fang Zhiyi hustle Money Rat away, Yue Anyao rolled her eyes.
"Catching up can happen at home too! I thought up several new dishes today."
Money Rat's ears perked up: "Great, great!"
"Mint-wrapped intestines."
The smile froze on Money Rat's face.
Yue Anyao was getting excited: "Also! Sprite-century-egg-tofu, honey-bitter-melon, and—oh, I almost forgot—durian rice... Where are you two going?"
"Um, boss, I just remembered there's a mission I need to head out on right away." Money Rat lowered his head and noticed Fang Zhiyi's hand pinching his stomach. "I still need Fang to give me a hand with it—let's do the meal another time!"
lanned to earn money steadily and take life at a slower pace. But he never expected... his father's remarriage, and the stepmother bringing along a dependent, would completely disrupt his life's plans...
ing gift was a patch of barren land, and disciples were all picked up along the way. He spent fifty years diligently building three "ramshackle little sects," thinking he could finally live a carefree life relying on his disciples. But right at the fifty-year mark, he was suddenly swept away by a spatial rift and exiled to the Chaos Desolation, the Disorderly Ruins. There was no spiritual energy there, only slaughter. Relying on the cultivation feedback from his disciples, Gu Changyuan hacked his way through a sea of blood for eleven hundred years. When the system finally fished him back out, he discovered the ramshackle little sects he'd built back then had developed a rather... unusual style. Hold on... I vanished for a thousand years, so how did my ramshackle little sects become holy lands?!
transmigrates into the world as the sect master of the Heavenly Yan Sect, which is on the verge of being wiped out. He binds a system that grants him cultivation power based on the number of disciples he has: for each disciple, he automatically gains a year's worth of cultivation every single day! Take one disciple: every day he gains 1 year of cultivation power. While others struggle through a year of bitter training, he gets the same just by sleeping through a single night. Take ten disciples: every day he gains 10 years of cultivation power. Foundation Establishment, Core Formation, Nascent Soul—he breezes through all bottlenecks without lifting a finger. Take one hundred disciples: every day he gains 100 years of cultivation power. Even a Soul Transformation Venerable before him can’t survive a single blow. Take ten thousand disciples: every day he gains 10,000 years of cultivation power! With a wave of his hand, he topples empires. With a single step, he crushes the sacred grounds of the universe. ... While others fight tooth and nail for secret techniques, Lin Yan casually hands out Nascent Soul-level cultivation manuals as beginner textbooks. While others strain to find talented recruits, Lin Yan opens his doors to anyone—so long as they’re human. In just three short years, the Heavenly Yan Sect went from a backwater sect made up of three crumbling huts to a sacred land that every cultivator under heaven would kill to enter. ... One day, otherworldly demon gods invade, with a million demon soldiers pressing down upon the realm. Lin Yan, yawning, rises from his lounge chair and glances at the system panel: [Current Disciples: 1.28 million] [Daily Cultivation Increase: 1.28 million years] He waves his hand casually, and the countless demon soldiers are reduced to ashes in an instant. “So noisy… interrupting my fishing.”
ut it can buy an entire year of absolutely perfect training results! Su Yu stared at his empty wallet and decisively opened up various online loan platforms. “Borrow a thousand bucks! Recharge my vitality!” Boom! His vitality broke a hundred points, shattering the limits of the human body! “Borrow ten thousand bucks! Recharge my combat skills!” Boom! A basic punching technique so common it was everywhere instantly maxed out, revealing the ultimate assassination technique of Five Elements Unity—Inner Force! When a rich kid hired assassins for a midnight ambush, aiming to break both of his legs, they instead ran headfirst into a monster—a human-shaped tyrannosaur, brimming with dragon-like vitality. With just two fingers, Su Yu snapped a steel staff reinforced with alloy. Staring at the killer’s stash of stolen cash—a staggering quarter-million dollars—he showed a corporate-sincere smile: “Thanks for the pre-exam gift pack, Mr. Zhao! I’m gonna go re-invest this!” Three days later, at the National Martial Arts College Entrance Exam, while everyone else struggled just to reach the passing line, Su Yu threw a single punch—and more than a thousand vitality points literally detonated the entire arena!
