"Capable?" Yue Anyao nearly laughed out of sheer frustration. She reached out and grabbed Fang Zhiyi again. "Come on, come on! Look at what you've brought back!"
With her tap, an image on the machine began to enlarge. It was a cultivation world. At some sect, there seemed to be a joyous occasion—an immortal couple was hosting a grand banquet for their guests.
Fang Zhiyi didn't understand what he was looking at.
"What is this?"
"That one, Li Buyan! His mission was to help his client escape the miserable fate of being a disposable pawn!" Yue Anyao said.
In short, the original host had been toyed with by the female lead. He gave everything he had, only to become a stepping stone for the male and female leads' love story. Bitter and unwilling, he was found by the system, and that's how this commission came about.
"His request was to shed the 'simp' label and slap the male and female leads right in the face!"
"And then?" Fang Zhiyi stared at the screen.
"Then? Then Li Buyan went in, and the moment he arrived, he went into seclusion!"
"Seclusion? What's wrong with that?" Fang Zhiyi didn't follow.
Yue Anyao shot him a glare, her cheeks puffed in annoyance—inexplicably cute. "What's wrong? He showed up right when the female lead was supposed to approach him. According to protocol, he should've started plotting his counterattack. Instead, he turned around and locked himself away! The female lead gets ambushed? He's in seclusion. The female lead gets saved by the male lead? He's in seclusion. The female lead and male lead have a misunderstanding? He's in seclusion! The supporting female character gets kicked off the mountain? He's still in seclusion! Now the male and female leads have a kid together, and he still hasn't come out! You tell me what's wrong!"
Fang Zhiyi scratched his head, a little awkward.
"Li Buyan's mind is a bit stubborn, yeah. He was always the hardest worker among the sect brothers..."
Just then, Little Hei interrupted: "Hey? Li Buyan came out of seclusion?"
Fang Zhiyi and Yue Anyao both turned to the screen.
Li Buyan appeared in the frame with a cold, expressionless face.
"Xuan Ji, you finally came out! Perfect timing—today happens to be your junior sister's child's hundred-day banquet. As the senior uncle, what are you gifting?" someone teased.
Because Li Buyan had completely missed all the male lead's plot points, the male lead didn't recognize him. The moment he saw Li Buyan, the male lead simply furrowed his brow and glanced at his wife—only to see the female lead looking at this man with undisguised delight. He felt a twinge of annoyance.
"Xuan Ji, you're not trying to dodge the gift, are you?" an elder of the sect laughed heartily.
Li Buyan finally spoke.
"Gift."
"Senior brother, what are you giving me?" The female lead happily skipped over.
"A big slap to your face."
Everyone froze. Li Buyan raised his hand and delivered an open-palm smack that sent the female lead flying clean through a wall, leaving a hole in the masonry.
Fang Zhiyi was dumbstruck.
"Uh... well, that's technically face-slapping, right?"
Yue Anyao took a deep breath: "In the literal, physical sense?"
Chaos erupted in the scene. The just-emerged Li Buyan wasted no words. He used his cultivation to slam the vengeful male lead straight into the ground, then proceeded to slap him several more times in the face. What followed was even more brutal—anyone who tried to stop him ended up injured or worse.
Yue Anyao couldn't take it anymore and shut off the display.
Fang Zhiyi was a little disappointed: "Why'd you turn it off? That was exciting! I always said that kid Li Buyan would go far..." He caught the look on Yue Anyao's face and quickly shut his mouth.
"So, what about Zhao Yichen..."
"Him? That one's even more absurd!"
This time, Yue Anyao didn't even bother opening a file.
"The original host was schemed against by his own in-laws and ended up taking the fall as a criminal. But Zhao Yichen? He went in, commandeered a starship, and just took off! Took off!"
Fang Zhiyi was shocked: "What?!"
Yue Anyao looked at him: "You know, that kind of situation—"
"Commandeered a starship! And he didn't let me go!!!"
Yue Anyao's face turned completely black.
"Go on. Keep talking."
"Never mind. All you need to know is that your junior nephew is now the biggest arms dealer in the entire galaxy. He sells weapons everywhere—wherever there's a war, he's there! The most absurd part? He got his hands on a nearly scrap-grade orbital cannon and blew his original host's father-in-law's whole family sky high! Now tell me, how am I supposed to explain this to the client?"
Fang Zhiyi's eyes held a hint of envy.
Fortunately, Yue Anyao didn't notice.
"Out of the three of them, only Jiang Mubai seems like a normal person!" She kicked the machine and pressed a few buttons. A scene slowly unfolded.
A man dressed in flamboyant robes stood tall on a sacred platform, one hand gripping a staff, the other raised high as he shouted something.
Below him was a vast crowd of devout followers, all prostrating in worship.
"Great Priest, you said today we would witness a miracle? What miracle?" an old bald man asked cautiously. The Great Priest had just exposed the king's conspiracy and saved all the noble families, so their faith in him was absolute.
"The miracle?" Jiang Mubai pointed behind him. Several men yanked away a massive cloth, revealing an enormous statue!
"Great Priest, he, he is..."
"He is my martial uncle. More precisely, he is an omnipotent god! All you need to know is that I am merely his mouthpiece!"
The natives gasped and immediately kowtowed.
"Bow! Bow again! Long live the martial uncle!"
"Long live the martial uncle!"
They didn't know what "martial uncle" meant.
But at this moment, Yue Anyao, watching this, felt a headache coming on.
"I take back what I said. Every one of them you brought back is certifiably insane!"
"They seem pretty normal to me. Any normal person who takes on these jobs is bound to become abnormal eventually," Fang Zhiyi tried to defend his junior nephews.
Yue Anyao sighed deeply: "Forget it. You're finally back, so let's go home and eat first."
At the mention of food, Fang Zhiyi's face went green.
For decades, not only had Yue Anyao shown zero improvement in cooking, she'd also developed a habit of getting creative—dishes like banana-braised pork trotters were merely par for the course.
"Hey? Boss?" As they reached the door, a man spotted Fang Zhiyi with excitement.
Fang Zhiyi studied the rotund figure for a moment before it clicked: "Money Rat?"
"Heh heh. Boss, I kept hearing you were back, but I never managed to run into you." Money Rat was overjoyed.
Fang Zhiyi affectionately threw an arm around him: "Good lad, you got fatter."
"Xiao Yao, Money Rat says he hasn't seen me in ages and wants to catch up with me!"
"Huh? When did I—hey, why'd you hit me—"
Watching Fang Zhiyi hustle Money Rat away, Yue Anyao rolled her eyes.
"Catching up can happen at home too! I thought up several new dishes today."
Money Rat's ears perked up: "Great, great!"
"Mint-wrapped intestines."
The smile froze on Money Rat's face.
Yue Anyao was getting excited: "Also! Sprite-century-egg-tofu, honey-bitter-melon, and—oh, I almost forgot—durian rice... Where are you two going?"
"Um, boss, I just remembered there's a mission I need to head out on right away." Money Rat lowered his head and noticed Fang Zhiyi's hand pinching his stomach. "I still need Fang to give me a hand with it—let's do the meal another time!"
s the Eldest Princess, renowned for her cold and aloof detachment, became the most docile of lambs, obeying his every command without question. But when the final move was played on the chessboard, as Gu Chenghan seized everything and ascended on the verge of apotheosis, that very Princess suddenly embraced him from behind, her tone carrying a dependence never heard before: "Wait... you haven't yet... commanded me to love you forever." Gu Chenghan froze abruptly. She... hadn't been hypnotized?! ... [The Eldest Princess's Diary] [When my soul was extracted, becoming the sole spectator outside my own shell] [At first, there was overwhelming fury, until I saw] [How he used my sword to effortlessly shatter my inescapable doom] [How he wielded my authority to eradicate fatal conspiracies I had never even detected] [Like a deity, he rescued me from the deep mire I was trapped in] [If not for those annoying vixens, he and I would be a match made in heaven] [I think I am ill, gravely ill] [My deity should belong to me alone] ... "Hypnosis? Oh, it succeeded, my dear Master." "Only this time, it's my turn to hypnotize you."
young master of the Shen family—a figure of immense power and wealth beyond measure—and awakened the "Destined Ultimate Villain System"! His starting scenario? Running into his icy fiancée who shows up with a mountain-descending divine doctor to break off their engagement. The divine doctor arrogantly taunts: "What does your Shen family have besides a bit of stinking money? You're not even worthy of tying Qingxue's shoelaces!" Shen Fei just smiled. He completely defied the usual script: "Fine, I agree to break off the engagement. Also, notify the finance department to withdraw all investments from the Su family." Minutes later, with its capital chain severed, the Su Group teetered on the brink of bankruptcy! The once aloof and proud ice queen CEO was thrown into utter panic. That very night, she went to Shen Fei's villa, casting aside all dignity to beg and plead desperately... From then on, in this world teeming with Sons of Destiny, Shen Fei embarked on a path of extreme dimensional suppression! A mountain-descending divine doctor? Peerless medical skills? Shen Fei: "Reporting you for practicing medicine without a license! I'll gladly take your ancient medicinal cauldron and twin sister assassins." The Crooked-Smiling Dragon King? Commanding a hundred thousand soldiers with a single order? Shen Fei: "Illegal assembly and suspected treason! Let a fleet of attack helicopters sanitize the area and teach you what the state apparatus really means!" A reborn tycoon? Knows all the golden opportunities of the next decade? Shen Fei: "A trillion in capital to reverse and pump the stock market, making you blow your margin and jump on the very first day of your rebirth!" What Chosen Ones? What bearers of Heavenly Fortune? In Shen Fei's eyes, they're all just chives (i.e., suckers/marks) waiting to be harvested! Shen Fei: "Sorry, but as the Destined Ultimate Villain, I don't play by the rules of honor. I only play the game of dimensional suppression."
with countless casualties. As a top-tier gamer, Liu Xuan volunteered to join the fight, intending to dominate with his skills, but instead he obtained the hidden class: [Pacifist]. Unable to attack. Unable to use active skills. Fortunately, with each level gained, he acquired a new passive skill. And so, armed with a body full of passives, Liu Xuan slaughtered his way through the battlefield of ten thousand races! [You attacked Liu Xuan] [You gained the debuffs: 'Poison', 'Fear', 'Burning', 'Bleeding', 'Freeze', 'Silence', etc.] [Your attack speed has been reduced by 99%] [Your armor and magic resistance have been reduced by 99%] Warriors of the Ten Thousand Races: How the hell am I supposed to fight this?!
nd fell into a coma while saving his younger sister from an out-of-control car. He became a vegetable. No one knew that his consciousness had crossed into a world of cultivation. Over the course of sixty years, he began as the lowest kind of mine slave, struggling to survive amid mountains of corpses and seas of blood. By sheer chance, he eventually obtained the complete memories of a fallen Immortal King. Alchemy, medicine, formations, feng shui, physiognomy, artifact forging… Every great inheritance of the cultivation world was now his. But when he opened his eyes again, he discovered that ten full years had passed in the modern world. To pay for his treatment, his father had sold the family’s shop and house, leaving himself covered in lasting injuries and illness. His mother had cared for him day and night, and more than half of her hair had already turned white. His younger sister, who had been only fifteen back then, was now twenty-five. To help repay the family’s debts, she had been forced to lower her head and put on a smiling face in places of glittering lights and endless revelry. Only then did Chen Xuan understand that what he had lost was not merely ten years. He had lost the life his entire family was meant to have. The good news was that he had brought back the memories of an Immortal King’s entire lifetime. The bad news was that his soul had returned alone—his cultivation had not come with him. Spiritual energy was scarce, resources were depleted, and the modern world still had firearms, surveillance, capital, and laws. If he wanted to protect his family, break free from everyone’s control, and become truly invincible beneath the heavens, he would have to start all over again.
