Extra Chapter - Ji Lu Wushuang - This Is Not What I Wanted

Ji Wushuang's movements as she subdued Zhang Tao and the others were instinctive—precise and efficient.

The sequence of her actions played out in Chen Lei's mind like a tidal wave, stirring something profound within him.

For the first time, he felt it so vividly:

Ji Wushuang was different.

Different from him. Different from everyone else here.

Inside her, there lurked a beast he couldn’t begin to understand.

And a life that was nothing like his own...

After that incident, Chen Lei realized she was no longer just a neighbor or a classmate to him.

He began observing her, intentionally or not.

He noticed she grew more solitary.

She no longer mingled with the troublemakers at school.

After classes, she always walked home alone.

Or wandered the factory district by herself.

Chen Lei’s unease deepened.

He felt he had to do something.

But what could he do?

He wasn’t good with words.

He didn’t even dare speak to her first.

One Sunday afternoon, Chen Lei went to the town’s Xinhua Bookstore to buy workbooks.

In the study aids section, he spotted Ji Wushuang.

It surprised him.

He never expected to see her in a bookstore.

Quietly, he followed her.

He wanted to know what she was reading.

Maybe a martial arts novel?

Like her father, Ji Jianguo.

But Ji Wushuang didn’t linger in the fiction aisle.

She walked straight to the farthest corner of the store,

where maps and reference books were kept.

She pulled out a thick World Atlas from the shelf.

She didn’t buy it.

Just stood there, flipping through the pages with care.

Her fingers traced the names of unfamiliar countries and cities,

the winding mountain ranges and blue oceans.

Her eyes were focused, full of longing—

as if her soul had already left the cramped bookstore,

left Tangzhou behind,

and flown toward that vast, boundless world.

Chen Lei watched her from behind the shelves,

taking in the expression on her face—one he’d never seen before.

A hunger.

And suddenly, he understood.

It wasn’t that she hated learning.

She just didn’t care for what school taught.

Her heart was elsewhere.

Somewhere far, far bigger.

The realization struck Chen Lei hard.

The workbooks in his hands suddenly felt unbearably heavy.

He knew he had to tell her.

Had to make her see: books were the only bridge to that world.

Summoning the greatest courage of his life, he waited for another chance.

Another dusk.

Ji Wushuang walked home alone.

She’d just had a brief exchange with Chen Lei.

Moments ago, he’d blocked her path,

his face flushed, eyes fixed on the ground.

He shoved a brand-new workbook into her hands,

then stammered out a single sentence:

"Ji Wushuang... studying... studying is still useful."

And then he ran.

Like he was fleeing.

Ji Wushuang looked at the workbook in her hands,

then at his retreating figure.

She didn’t chase him.

Didn’t throw the book away.

She just stood there for a long time.

She hadn’t expected this.

That the awkward boy next door would speak to her like this.

She slipped the workbook into her bag.

Then, softly, she replied with a single word:

"Mm."

So quiet.

She wasn’t sure if Chen Lei heard it.

Now, she walked down the road.

For the first time, ripples stirred in her heart.

She passed by the factory’s bulletin board.

Posters of all kinds were plastered across it.

There were advertisements for newly released movies.

Photos of the factory’s model workers.

And one—a military recruitment poster.

On the poster stood a young soldier in uniform.

His posture was straight, his gaze resolute.

Behind him stretched a vast blue sky, white clouds, and a red flag fluttering in the wind.

At the top of the poster, bold characters proclaimed:

"One enlists, the whole family is honored."

Ji Wushuang stopped in her tracks.

She stood before the bulletin board.

Her eyes lingered on that poster.

On the soldier’s tall, unwavering figure.

On his eyes, which seemed to see far beyond the horizon.

"Education is useful."

Chen Lei’s words echoed in her ears.

But what kind of education?

What kind of path?

She stared at the poster.

The soldier on the poster stared back.

Something inside her ignited.

A seed, long dormant.

Now, under sunlight and rain, it quietly began to sprout.

She wanted to go somewhere.

A place where she could run freely.

A place where the strength inside her could be unleashed.

A place where she could see a wider world.

And now, she knew where that place was.

The last rays of the setting sun fell upon her face.

In her eyes, the vivid red of the flag reflected—bright and unwavering.

That recruitment poster was like a nail, hammered straight into Ji Wushuang’s heart.

......

The summer she graduated from high school.

Tangzhou was sweltering, like a giant steamer.

Cicadas shrieked from the trees.

The asphalt roads softened under the heat, emitting a pungent smell.

Most of her classmates were debating which majors to apply for at Tangji Institute.

Which factory branch they’d be assigned to after graduation.

Or whether to retake the college entrance exams for another year.

The future was a blueprint already drawn.

Clear, but dull.

Ji Wushuang sketched a different blueprint.

One only she knew about.

At the dinner table.

The family of three ate in silence.

The ceiling fan spun weakly overhead, creaking with every turn.

Ji Jianguo took a sip of liquor, his face flushed.

"Shuangshuang, have you decided on your college applications?"

"Or are you planning to retake the exams?"

He paused, then continued without waiting for an answer,

"Even a vocational college is fine. Graduate early, join the factory early. I can look out for you."

Her mother picked up some vegetables and placed them in Ji Wushuang’s bowl.

"Girls don’t need to push themselves so hard."

Ji Wushuang set down her chopsticks.

Her voice was soft but firm.

"Dad. Mom."

"I’m not going to school."

"I’m enlisting in the military."

Clatter.

Ji Jianguo’s liquor cup toppled onto the table.

The strong scent of alcohol instantly filled the air.

Her mother’s chopsticks froze mid-air.

Her face paled.

"What did you say?"

Her mother’s voice trembled.

"Nonsense!"

Ji Jianguo slammed the table, raising his voice at his daughter for the first time.

"Do you think the military is easy? A girl like you—why would you suffer like that?"

He loved martial arts novels, admired heroes.

But he had never imagined his own daughter living a life of real blades and bullets.

It was too harsh.

Too dangerous.

"I’ve made up my mind."

Ji Wushuang looked at her parents.

"I know that place is harsh."

"But staying in Tangzhou for the rest of my life—that’s not what I want!"