Yang An's First Counterattack

After spending some time together, Yang An had come to understand quite a bit about Qin Guo'er’s awful temperament. The Dog Woman’s question just now had been asking how today’s makeup differed from yesterday’s.

With her narcissistic and haughty personality, if he said she looked better today, she would probably reply coldly, “Are you implying that I looked bad yesterday?” before stabbing him with a dagger.

So the key was not to focus on whether she looked good.

He had to find the difference between today and yesterday.

Then he could praise both.

Having figured out the solution, Yang An carefully examined Princess Anle’s makeup. After staring for a while, he still couldn’t see anything at all. To him, Qin Guo’er looked no different from the day before.

Her blush and the shape of her eyebrows were practically identical!

It was harder than picking out Ultraman Tiga from a crowd of Ultramen.

Yang An kept silent for too long.

Princess Anle’s face darkened. “I’ll give you five seconds. If you still can’t tell me…” She pressed the dagger even more firmly against Yang An’s neck.

Feeling the chill radiating from the blade, cold sweat beaded on Yang An’s forehead. Suddenly, he remembered the time he had stared at the Dog Woman’s lips and been toyed with by her.

As the memory surfaced, he suddenly noticed that her lips seemed slightly more striking today than they had been that day.

Could she have changed her rouge?

He wasn’t sure, but five seconds passed in the blink of an eye. With no time to think, Yang An could only make a desperate gamble. Before Qin Guo’er could slit his throat, he hurriedly praised her, saying, “Today, the princess shines like a brilliant pearl, dazzling and radiant. The other day, you were elegant and peerless, your beauty shimmering with a gentle light!”

Joy appeared on Princess Anle’s beautiful face.

He had guessed correctly.

Yang An let out a sigh of relief. Yet before he could fully relax, he heard Princess Anle scold him coquettishly, “You lecherous dog! You actually remember this palace so clearly. As expected, you’re coveting this palace’s beauty! What wicked intentions! You cannot be allowed to live!”

Even getting it right wasn’t enough?!

Damn this Dog Woman!

Yang An was utterly numb. He hurriedly defended himself, “This subordinate merely keeps the princess in his heart at all times. I have no wicked intentions whatsoever—I am completely and utterly loyal! I beg the princess to judge me fairly!”

“You cur really are this loyal?”

“This subordinate is absolutely loyal. The sun and moon can bear witness!”

Princess Anle smiled sweetly as she withdrew the dagger and toyed with it in her hand. “Since you’re so loyal, shouldn’t this palace give you a little reward? You remember this palace’s makeup so clearly, which means you must like it. I have an idea! How about I give you makeup just like mine?”

Qin Guo’er was a woman who acted on every whim.

The moment she made up her mind, she ordered Lan to bring over rouge and face powder, completely ignoring Yang An’s opinion.

Before long, Lan brought over an exquisite gilt-lacquered box.

Inside were all kinds of rouge, eyebrow pigments, face powder, and other cosmetics, filling it to the brim.

I’m a grown man! Why should I wear makeup?

Yang An wanted to refuse.

Princess Anle said, “What? You don’t like it?”

Yang An didn’t dare say he disliked it. “The princess’s cosmetics are far too precious. This subordinate is afraid of wasting them.”

“It’s fine, it won’t be wasted.”

Princess Anle smiled as she held both of his cheeks in place, preventing him from moving around.

This was Qin Guo’er’s first time applying makeup to someone else, and she was brimming with enthusiasm. She picked up two rouge brushes, dipped them into the brightest peach-red rouge in the box, and began smearing it across Yang An’s face without a word.

One stroke on the left, one stroke on the right.

Soon, two enormous red patches had been painted onto Yang An’s cheeks.

He looked like a paper doll.

His thin lips were soon coated in a red even brighter than Qin Guo’er’s own lip color. He looked as though he had eaten a dead child. Finally, she covered his entire face in white powder.

She even drew a crooked peach-blossom design between his eyebrows.

After all that fuss, Qin Guo’er tossed aside the rouge brushes and admired her masterpiece. Looking at Yang An’s thoroughly human-looking appearance—or rather, his lack thereof—she giggled and leaned against him.

“Truly a beauty beyond compare! From now on, you’ll be called Yang the Beauty.”

“Come on, Yang the Beauty. Give this palace a smile.”

With Qin Guo’er lifting his chin, Yang An repeatedly reminded himself that a wise man did not fight when the odds were against him. He was no match for the Dog Woman.

It was only makeup.

He just had to endure it. Endure it, and it would be over.

He forced a smile at Princess Anle. The makeup on his face was already ridiculous, and the smile made him look even more bizarre.

Princess Anle laughed so hard her body went limp.

Even the female officials, including Lan, Dong’er, and Qiu’er, covered their mouths and snickered.

The entire princess’s residence was filled with joyous laughter.

Everyone except Yang An.

After making merry for a while, Princess Anle rubbed her stiff cheeks. With a hint of complaint, she patted Yang An on the chest and asked, “Now tell me, you ill-intentioned cur. What have you come to see this palace about today?”

Seeing that Princess Anle was in a good mood, Yang An did not hesitate and immediately explained his purpose. “The academy examination is only a few days away, and this subordinate is still afflicted with the Heartbreak Gu. I have come to ask the princess to grant me the antidote.”

Unexpectedly, Princess Anle did not give him a hard time this time. Instead, she said unusually readily, “Is that all? Here you go.”

Yang An was both surprised and delighted. He hurriedly thanked her. “Thank you, Princess.”

Then he saw Princess Anle raise her little finger and gently brush it across her lovely lower lip. With a coquettish air, she extended the finger—now dusted with rouge—toward him.

Yang An froze. “What does the princess mean by this?”

Princess Anle grinned. “This is the antidote. Lick it.”

She was toying with him, wasn’t she?!

She wanted to humiliate him again, didn’t she?!

Looking at Princess Anle’s half-smiling expression, Yang An said helplessly, “Princess, please don’t do this. This subordinate would never dare offend you. I beg you not to joke around and to grant me the antidote.”

“Who says I’m joking?” Princess Anle’s expression turned stern. “Have you forgotten how you came to be poisoned?”

Yang An was stunned.

Thinking back, he really had drunk the cup of leftover tea bearing Princess Anle’s rouge scent that day before he was afflicted by the Gu poison.

Could it be… that this rouge really was the antidote?

But that would be far too humiliating.

Yang An cautiously asked, “Is there no other antidote?”

Princess Anle lifted her chin. “The antidote is right here. Take it or leave it. If you won’t lick it, then wait for the Gu poison to tear through your intestines and kill you. But don’t worry. This palace will give you a magnificent funeral when the time comes.”

So he had no choice?

For the sake of staying alive, Yang An took a deep breath to suppress the humiliation flooding his heart. He raised his head and slowly moved toward Princess Anle’s little finger.

Just as his lips were about to touch it, a captivating flush rose over Princess Anle’s face. She swiftly pulled back her hand before he could make contact.

Sitting on top of Yang An, she laughed so hard she nearly doubled over.

“The silly dog really was going to lick it!”

Qin Guo’er grabbed both of his cheeks with her little hands and kneaded them vigorously. “What an adorable cur. How can you believe everything this palace says? Heeheehee!”

Damn it!

This was too humiliating! Too infuriating!

Even a clay figure had a temper. After being toyed with to this extent by that Dog Woman, the veins on Yang An’s forehead bulged, and fury blazed in his eyes. He absolutely could not swallow this insult!

He had to get his revenge!

First, he glanced at Princess Anle’s lips.

Remembering that she had effortlessly blocked his previous two sneak attacks, he abandoned that idea.

Next, he began considering how to retaliate.

Suddenly, Yang An had a flash of inspiration. He remembered Snowridge Mountain—and how strongly the Dog Woman had reacted yesterday when he accidentally grabbed her ankle.

Could her feet be this Dog Woman’s weakness?

Out of the corner of his eye, Yang An glanced toward her two feet, both clad in exquisitely embroidered shoes.

Right there beside him, close enough to touch!

Heaven was on his side!

A gentleman must avenge himself!

Furious, Yang An didn’t think twice. He reached out and grabbed at the little feet dangling and swaying before him.

Princess Anle giggled, completely off guard.

Her two jade-soft feet instantly fell into Yang An’s grasp. Even through her embroidered shoes, he could feel their astonishing softness. They seemed so delicate that he was afraid he might crush them with the slightest pressure.

Just as Yang An had expected.

The instant her feet fell into his hands, Princess Anle shuddered as though she had been shocked by electricity. Her giggles abruptly ceased, and she stared at Yang An in utter disbelief.

“You…”

She had only just begun to speak.

Before she could finish, Yang An gave her feet a forceful squeeze, deliberately taking revenge. Princess Anle’s face flushed so red it looked ready to drip blood.

A sweet, delicate hum escaped her vermilion lips.

“Mmm~”

It was as soft and enchanting as the sound of heaven.

So the Dog Woman was nothing special after all.

Yang An was feeling rather pleased with himself and was about to continue his revenge when he suddenly sensed a terrifying chill spreading from Princess Anle.

Her exquisite, stunning face had instantly lost its blush.

She raised her little head and looked at him expressionlessly.

Oh no…

He was completely screwed.

Yang An promptly released Princess Anle’s feet and shielded his head with his arms. “Please, Your Highness, go easy on me…”

The next instant—

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Princess Anle clenched her little fists and kicked Yang An again and again.

“You filthy dog! Perverted dog! Shameless dog!”

“How many times have I told you? You are not allowed to touch me! And you still dared to put your hands on me! Today, I’m going to kill you!!!”

Yang An hugged his head and begged for mercy. “Princess, I was wrong! I promise I’ll never dare do it again!”

In his heart, however, he swore bitterly: Just you wait, Dog Woman. When the day comes that I place first in the county examinations…

Even if you beg me, I absolutely won’t let you off!

I’ll count your tears, too!

Princess Anle kicked him twenty or thirty times before her heaving chest gradually settled down. She glared fiercely at Yang An, whose face was now swollen and bruised, then instructed Lan, “Bring me a cup no one has used before and pour some tea into it.”

Lan did as she was told and handed the cup of tea to Princess Anle. Qin Guo’er sprinkled something into it, then said coldly to Yang An, “This is the antidote. Drink it quickly! Once you’ve finished, get out. I don’t want to see you again today!”

Yang An took the cup from Lan.

He was still somewhat suspicious. Could the Dog Woman be playing another trick on him? But seeing that she was still furious, he didn’t dare ask. He could only drain the tea in one gulp.

When he finished drinking, Yang An’s lips—still smeared with rouge—left a clear ring of lip marks around the cup.

He hurriedly rolled up his sleeve and looked at his wrist. The dark bluish-black color that had nearly spread to his elbow had truly retreated back to its original point.

Yang An was overjoyed. “Thank you for bestowing this medicine upon me, Princess!”

Princess Anle turned her back to him and ignored him, saying only to Lan, “See him out.”

She was letting him go so quickly?

She was really sending him away?

Could there really be such a good thing?!

Yang An’s heart leaped with joy. He quickly bid Princess Anle farewell.

He was just about to leave.

But Lan remained completely still, making no effort to escort Yang An out. Not only that, she grabbed his sleeve and gave him meaningful looks.

The princess is still angry. Are you sure you want to leave now, my lord?

If he didn’t leave, was he supposed to stay here until the New Year?

Seeing that Lan wasn’t going to see him out, Yang An didn’t care. He knew the way anyway. He had visited the princess’s residence several times, and was already thoroughly familiar with its layout. He lifted his foot and prepared to leave.

But the moment he took that step—

Yang An suddenly felt a chill at the base of his tailbone, and every hair on his body stood on end. An ominous premonition rose within him.

That step would not take him out of the princess’s residence.

It would take him across the Bridge of Helplessness.

Yang An promptly withdrew his foot, turned around, and returned to Princess Anle’s side. Bowing, he said, “Princess, please! Let this subordinate accompany you a little longer. I truly can’t bear to be away from you for even a quarter of an hour.”

Princess Anle let out a contemptuous laugh.

She was just about to teach this disobedient dog a lesson when a young palace maid ran up outside the pavilion and reported, “Your Highness, the eldest son of the Yunzhou Censor, Cui Wenli, requests an audience.”

Cui Wenli.

Yang An had a distinct impression of that name.

He was Cui Wenyan’s elder brother.

Although Yang An currently lacked evidence and could not determine whether the Cui family was behind what had happened to him, he had no goodwill whatsoever toward either the Cui family or the Lin family.

What had Cui Wenli come to the princess’s residence for?

Yang An couldn’t help feeling puzzled. He narrowed his eyes in thought when he heard Princess Anle say, “Your enemy has arrived. Do you want to meet him?”

Yang An didn’t dare make that decision himself.

He quickly replied that everything was up to the princess.

Princess Anle smiled. “Then let him in.”

The palace maid who had delivered the message acknowledged the order and withdrew from the courtyard to pass it on. Before Cui Wenli arrived, Yang An said, “Princess, will my staying here interfere with your business? Should I hide somewhere?”

“Do you think everyone else is like you, able to see me whenever they wish?” Qin Guo’er pinched Yang An’s ear.

As her voice fell, three of the eight female officials standing nearby—Zhu, Ju, and Mei—stepped forward and drew aside the curtains, completely screening off all four sides of the pavilion.

From outside, nothing within the pavilion could be seen.

From inside, however, they could see everything outside clearly.

Remembering that Lin Yeping, the military governor of Yunzhou, had been received at the princess’s residence behind the same kind of curtains, Yang An hurriedly flattered her after having angered Princess Anle earlier. “Thank you for thinking so highly of me, Princess. I’m deeply grateful. I’m willing to brave fire and water for you for the rest of my life.”

Knowing that there wasn’t a single truthful word in that dog’s mouth, Princess Anle lifted her little foot and kicked Yang An in the face, knocking him back to the ground not long after he had finally managed to stand.

She planted her foot on his chest and refused to let him rise.

Qin Guo’er sighed softly and sat back down in her cushioned chair. “When will what’s in your heart ever be half as pleasant as what comes out of your mouth?”

Yang An dared not show his anger and could only console himself again and again.

I’m the one benefiting here. I’m the one benefiting here.

Before long, the sound of approaching footsteps rang out.

Yang An turned his head and looked through the curtains. He saw a man who bore a four- or five-tenths resemblance to Cui Wenyan walking over. The man had narrow, elongated eyes, high cheekbones, and a slightly pointed chin. He looked rather effeminate.

This was Cui Wenli.

When he reached the edge of the pavilion, Cui Wenli tactfully stopped and did not take another step forward. Separated from Princess Anle by the curtains, he suppressed the excitement in his heart and bowed deeply.

“Greetings, Your Highness.”

Two years earlier, during the capital inspection, Cui Wenli had accompanied his father to the capital. That year, the Ming Tower had just been completed, and the emperor, pleased by the occasion, had hosted a grand banquet for all the officials. Cui Wenli had been fortunate enough to attend alongside his father, Cui Zhuo.

At the banquet, he had caught a distant glimpse of Princess Anle.

That year, Princess Anle had just come of age, yet she was already dazzling enough to illuminate the entire world. That brief glance alone had carved a deep mark into Cui Wenli’s heart, as sharp and lasting as one made by a chisel.

Even when he tried not to think of her, that peerless figure would often surface in his mind.

Now that he had finally seen the princess again, the curtains still blocking his view of her completely, Cui Wenli’s heart continued to throb with excitement.