A Bully in the Winter Melon Village

"The Xuan Heavens have but a single cloud in the northwest!"

"A crow has fallen into a phoenix flock!"

"The table is full of heroic men!"

"Who is the lord and who is the subject!"

Seeing the two children in front of him waving sticks and shouting at him, the middle-aged cultivator's mouth twitched a few times.

He was an elder of the Emei Sect's Plucking Stars branch after all. How humiliating it was to be robbed by a couple of brats!

If the other elders found out, he would be a laughing stock.

Patting his forehead helplessly, he spoke, "Young friends, please let this old man pass."

"Less nonsense! Hand over your silver, or else my rolling pin will show no mercy!" the boy shouted in his tender voice.

The cultivator was mildly exasperated hearing the childish tone.

The kid looked no older than seven, with snot dripping from his nose!

And he had the audacity to wear an eyepatch, pretending to be some grandeur bandit. As if he were a real villain from the jianghu!

He impatiently responded, "Do you know who I am, boy?"

"I don't care who you are!" the snot-nosed, eyepatch-wearing boy huffed, "Let me tell you, this is Winter Melon Village! I'm the boss around here, Bloody Hands Slaughterer Lin Xiaolu! I kill without blinking!"

"That's right!" the girl with twin buns dressed in a red bellyband added dramatically, "My big brother is super fierce. He kills people every day. If he doesn't kill, he won't eat!"

"Yeah, my mom used to hit me every day, but I wouldn't eat until I finished killing someone. Are you scared yet?"

The cultivator: ......

What in blazes was wrong with these kids?

The middle-aged cultivator was named Li Mingru, an elder of the Plucking Stars branch of the Emei Sect. Half an hour ago, his senior sister and head of Emei had summoned him. She reprimanded him for always hiding in his cave drinking, sleeping, reading erotica, and peeping on the female cultivators of other Emei branches. She blamed him for being useless and not taking any disciples in the past 20 years, even though Plucking Stars was the oldest branch of Emei's nine divisions.

So she ordered him to go down the mountain and find disciples, or else not to come back at all.

Li Mingru sighed to himself. He had just left Emei and already encountered these two brats. As his senior sister would say, this was fate. And he had been away for nearly half an hour already. Surely her temper must have subsided by now. Women had their moody days each month after all.

If these two kids were suitable, he could bring them back to fulfill his duty. It wouldn't be a bad idea.

Thinking this, he looked at the boy and asked, "Your name is Lin Xiaolu?"

"That's right!" The boy swung his rolling pin cockily.

Li Mingru nodded with a smile and turned to the girl beside Lin Xiaolu.

"What about you, little one?"

"I'm called Xiao Yuer," the girl chirped.

Li Mingru made a sound of acknowledgment. Still smiling, he asked the siblings, "Why are you two robbing people here?"

Lin Xiaolu tossed his head and scoffed, "Because we're awesome!"

Li Mingru: ......

He nearly laughed at the boy's audacity. Still, he admired the kid's boldness.

"Don't your parents stop you?" he went on.

"Our parents are dead," Lin Xiaolu said. "We make our living as bullies in the village. Especially me. They call me the boss around here, Bloody Hands Slaughterer Lin Xiaolu!"

"That's right. My big brother is the cruelest in Winter Melon Village. He's ruined countless flowers with his vicious hands. Every day when he wakes up, he has to kill someone before he can eat," Xiao Yuer added cutely. "The village storyteller even wrote a biography about my brother called 'All the Girls We've Slaughtered Over the Years.'"

The juvenile words left Li Mingru feeling conflicted. These kids were really something else!

At the same time, he also felt pity for the orphaned siblings. With their pretentious act, they were likely just trying to avoid being bullied after losing their parents at such a young age.

Ah well, it was like picking up two ready-made disciples for him to bring back and report to the head.

With this thought, he dispensed with beating around the bush and smiled at the siblings, "This poor monk is Li Mingru, an elder of Emei Sect's Plucking Stars branch. Seeing you two children alone and destitute, I wish to take you as my disciples into Emei. Are you willing?"

"Pah!" Wearing his fake eyepatch, with two streams of snot dangling from his nose, Lin Xiaolu pointed his rolling pin at Li Mingru and cursed, "Pure nonsense! Let me tell you, I, Lin Xiaolu...."

Before the boy could finish, Li Mingru suddenly flicked his sleeve. A gale instantly kicked up, blowing Lin Xiaolu's pitiful eyepatch mask clean off.

The siblings were badly startled by the spectacle, filling their faces with dread. Li Mingru felt a hint of smugness seeing the fear in the children's eyes.

It was so satisfying to show off power in front of mortals!

After a moment, he withdrew his spiritual power and the gales disappeared as quickly as they came. The scene returned to a warm sunny spring day, as if nothing had happened at all.

"What do you think? Know how mighty I am now?" Li Mingru asked arrogantly.

Lin Xiaolu was stunned speechless, snot splattered all over his face. The five-year-old Xiao Yuer was even more frightened. She directly knelt down with a thud.

"Please spare us, Immortal Master! Xiao Yuer will never do it again," the girl pleaded as she kowtowed, her tender voice tinged with sobs.

Although also badly shaken, the slightly older Lin Xiaolu still bravely withstood his fear. Spreading his small arms to shield his sister, glaring with wide eyes, he shouted in a trembling voice, "W-What do you want!

I, Lin Xiaolu, did everything myself. My sister is innocent. If you have grievances, take it out on me! I won't even bat an eye. Otherwise, I'm not the Bloody Hands Slaughterer!"

"Pfft~"

Li Mingru nearly laughed out loud. The boy was pretty amusing. Seeing him quaking in fear yet stubbornly protecting his sister, Li Mingru's gaze also held a trace of admiration.

Hmm, not bad character. A good elder brother.

Li Mingru clasped his hands behind his back and posed loftily like a transcendent expert. With a carefree laugh he said, "Lin Xiaolu, this poor monk wishes to accept you and your sister as disciples. To have you join Emei together. Are you willing?"

Seeing that he didn't seem to want to harm them after all, the boy calmed down a bit. But he still looked at Li Mingru oddly and said, "You mean you want us to join your gang?"

"Cough cough." Li Mingru nearly choked.

Damn it, he was kindly taking in disciples into orthodox Emei, yet this brat made it sound like some triad recruitment.

He glared, "This poor monk wants to accept you as disciples!"

"Oh~" The boy blinked his intelligent eyes.

"So you'll be our boss from now on?"

Li Mingru: ......

"Not boss, but Master," Li Mingru corrected with some headache.

What in blazes was going through this kid's mind?

Did he come from a family of gangsters?

After silently complaining for a while, he looked at the siblings and asked again, "From now on, you'll follow me in cultivation. Are you willing?"

Lin Xiaolu helped his still kneeling sister stand up. He hesitated for a bit before voicing his final doubt in his childish voice.

"Can we eat our fill if we cultivate?"

Li Mingru was taken aback by the question. His gaze trembled slightly. Then he guffawed loudly and swept up the siblings in his billowing sleeves. Together, they shot towards the clouds like a white rainbow...