Let me tell you a Joke

"Beep, you have a new food delivery order, please handle it promptly."

The daily routine of a food delivery driver officially begins. At 11 o'clock in the morning, the peak hours start, and Su He receives fifteen orders in one go. In his mind, he envisions an intelligent food delivery order assistant. All the orders from his phone are synchronized to the order assistant, providing clear data analysis such as estimated pick-up times, the most efficient delivery routes, and countdowns.

It feels like he's cheating. Su He rides his bike towards the nearest pick-up location.

Intelligent navigation appears in his mind, even warning him about an iron nail on the ground.

Su He doesn't ignore it. He gets off his bike, finds the nail sticking out from the cement seam, grabs a stone from the green belt, flattens the nail, and then gets back on his electric bike.

As he passes by a repair shop, Su He raises his middle finger at the shop owner.

The shop owner, a lady, sits on the roadside sunbathing. When she stands up, she starts cursing and even chases after him for tens of meters before finally grumbling her way back.

With the order assistant and navigation, Su He's efficiency increases exponentially. After delivering the fifteen orders, he immediately snatches twenty more.

Delivering twenty orders becomes a bit challenging. There's a small incident in the middle where one restaurant accidentally spills the food, and they have to remake it, causing a ten-minute delay. But luckily, he manages to avoid going over the delivery time.

It's already half past two in the afternoon when Su He can finally sit down and take a rest. During the lunchtime peak hours, delivering food is like going to war, every second counts.

He finds a small restaurant to have his meal and opens WeChat. The food delivery driver group is already buzzing.

"Oh my, did Su He inject himself with chicken blood? He's so fierce!"

Someone shares a screenshot of the ranking list from the delivery station. Su He is comfortably in first place with 68 orders, while the second-place, Wu Xiaodong, only managed 32.

Jinan City is just a second-tier city, and under normal circumstances, running seventy to eighty orders in a day is already the limit. But unexpectedly, Su He completes 68 orders in just one afternoon.

"Surviving a disaster brings good fortune. Su He must have awakened!"

"Salute to the great god!"

"Does the great god need an accessory on his waist? Take me with you!"

Reading the messages in the group, Su He chuckles while eating.

"Hehehe..."

The son of the shop owner is playing with a toy excavator, looking around.

"Mom, there's a little chicken making noise..."

"Son, it's not a little chicken, it's a single dog..."

...

After finishing his meal, Su He closes the order reception and goes to the supermarket to buy two large bags of rice and a bucket of oil. He rides his electric bike to Xingfuli Community.

After locking his electric bike, Su He carries the rice and the oil bucket and slowly walks into Building 7, Unit 2.

601, Shen Yue's home.

Su He dusts off his clothes, takes off his helmet, and gently knocks on the door.

The door opens, and an elderly woman looks up at Su He. Without saying a word, she turns around and walks inside.

The elderly woman is Xiang Wanrong. Shen Yue used to say that her mother's name sounded pleasant.

"Aunt Xiang, I've poured the rice into the container. There's a slight leak in the kitchen. Tomorrow, I'll ask a friend to come and take a look. He used to do this kind of work..."

"Both soy sauce and salt are running low. I'll go downstairs later to buy some more. Is there anything else we need for the house?"

In the living room, where the TV used to hang, there was now a statue of Guanyin Bodhisattva. Su He knelt there, but it seemed as though Aunt Xiang hadn't heard.

Su He picked up a broom and started cleaning the house when the door opened. An older man with gray hair entered, carrying a fish and a few vegetables.

"Wife, look at what I bought... It's the fish our daughter loves the most... Oh, Su, you're here too?"

Shen Yue's father, Shen Yuanzhong, wore a smile when he entered, but it instantly turned serious upon seeing Su He.

"Uncle Shen, I'm here..."

Su He took the things from Shen Yuanzhong's hands and carried them into the kitchen. Just as she finished preparing the fish, Shen Yuanzhong walked in.

"Su He, go and keep Yue Yue company. I'll take care of the fish. Since she was little, she has always loved the fish I cook."

Su He washed her hands and made room for him, saying, "Then I'll go and mop the floor first. After I'm done, I'll come..."

"No need to mop. We're going to sell it anyway!" Shen Yuanzhong placed the fish on the cutting board and took out a clay pot from the cupboard.

"Sell it?"

Su He looked at Shen Yuanzhong, puzzled, and asked, "Uncle Shen, what do you mean by selling?"

"What else can we sell? Besides this old house, which might fetch some money, Yue Yue's uncle contacted a specialized neurosurgery hospital in the capital. They can treat Yue Yue's condition. But the cost is a bit high. After discussing with Aunt Xiang and you, we decided to sell this house and use the money you've been giving us for the past year. We want to give it another try..."

Su He remained silent, finished mopping the floor, and headed towards Shen Yue's room.

The door to the room was open. On a single bed lay a woman with thin cheeks and a pale complexion. The room had an unpleasant smell. Su He opened the window slightly, allowing the sunlight to shine on Shen Yue's face. Su He gently massaged her whole body.

"Yue Yue, Uncle Shen said he'll take you to the capital. Are you happy? You told me before that we would take our wedding photos in Tiananmen Square. Don't forget, I've been waiting. You have to keep your promise..."

"Guess how many orders I delivered today? Haha, 68 orders. You wouldn't have expected that. In the past, when I talked like this to you, you would scold me and call me boastful. I want you to scold me a few more times. You can take your time and prepare a really long scolding. When you wake up, you can scold me to your heart's content..."

"Let me tell you a joke. Do you know why the ocean is blue? You don't know, right? It's because the fish blows bubbles. Blue~blue~..."

"That's not funny... Let me tell you another one. Do you know where Sun Wukong's golden cudgel is?... Haha, you might want to say it's in his ear, as it perfectly matches his hairstyle..."

"Yue Yue, I've noticed that your sense of humor has become more refined. It seems I won't be able to control you without pulling out some top-notch jokes..."

At the door, Shen Yuanzhong held the fish soup and cleared his throat.

"Su He, you go and do your thing. Aunt Xiang and I will stay here..."

Su He stood up and gently adjusted Shen Yue's hair before walking out. He took out ten thousand yuan in cash from his bag and placed it on the table. He then said at the doorway, "Uncle Shen, Auntie, I'm leaving first."

Closing the door, Su He took out his phone and started accepting orders again.

At 11:50 p.m., Su He stopped taking orders and looked at his data. He had completed 206 orders, which was four times more than his usual amount.

At that moment, Ma Mingzhe called him.

"You beast, did you take the blue pill? Why are you so intense? We agreed to be poor together, but you secretly became rich."

"Are you scolding Su He? Let me scold a few words too. Su He, you..."

Su He hung up the phone in time, preventing Pan Zhigang from finishing his scolding.

It was late at night, and only a few people were walking on the street. Su He found a noodle shop, had a bowl of noodles, and ended his busy day.

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