Ye Xuan in the First Life

Silence.

Deathly silence.

There was only the sound of waves crashing against the reefs, monotonous and repetitive, like the heartbeat of time, eternal and dull.

Yun Meng looked down at the shell in her hand.

Ye Xuan had just picked it up for her. An ordinary, colorful shell, the kind that could be found everywhere on this beach.

But at this moment, in her eyes, this shell had become incomparably precious.

Because the warmth of his palm still lingered upon it.

The warmth was gradually dissipating, just like his figure, fading away from this world.

Yun Meng's fingers gently rubbed the surface of the shell, feeling that trace of warmth that was about to disappear.

Her eyes, initially calm, gradually became complex.

"Ye... Xuan."

She softly murmured this name.

Her voice was very light, very soft, as if calling out to a lover traveling far away.

As this name left her lips, countless lights and shadows suddenly surged in those silver eyes, which had originally been as placid as an ancient well, swirling only with nebulae.

Those lights and shadows intertwined, rotated, and collided, forming a series of images.

That was memory.

Memories spanning countless epochs, countless reincarnations, and countless cycles of life and death.

The floodgates of memory were completely forced open at this moment by this tiny shell.

The long river of time began to flow backward.

Flowing upstream, passing through those withered bones, passing through those partings of life and death, passing through countless "Ye Xuans", returning to that very first, most primal—

Starting point.

That was an extremely distant era.

So long ago that the beach of this Sea of Reincarnation was not its current crystal-clear silver, but a slightly gloomy chaotic color, as if it had just been born from nothingness and had not yet been polished by time.

The seawater was not silver either, but a deep, almost blackish dark blue, like the color of the abyss.

This place had just been born not long ago.

And Yun Meng had also just awakened not long ago.

She sat on a reef, her posture stiff, like a statue.

Her eyes were open, but her gaze was hollow, without any focus, like a breathing stone.

She did not know who she was.

She did not know why she was here.

She did not even know what "living" meant.

She just sat there, breathing mechanically, feeling time flow past her, yet feeling absolutely nothing toward anything.

"Hey! Are you... a fairy sister?"

A timid voice suddenly broke the dead silence.

It was a young boy wearing tattered hemp clothes, his pant legs rolled up to his knees.

His skin was tanned, there were traces of dirt on his face, and he was leading an emaciated old yellow ox. That ox looked just as malnourished as he was, its ribs clearly visible.

The boy was staring wide-eyed, looking at Yun Meng sitting on the reef with a mix of fear and curiosity.

His eyes were filled with shock.

He had never seen someone so beautiful.

This kind of beauty was not of the mortal realm, but a beauty that transcended cognition and inspired awe.

That was Ye Xuan's first life.

A cowherd who had stumbled into this place by mistake.

He was originally herding cattle in the mountains, but for some unknown reason, the old yellow ox suddenly ran into the mountains like crazy. He chased after it, eventually following it into a cave.

Then, he arrived here.

A completely unfamiliar, eerie, and terrifyingly beautiful place.

At that time, Yun Meng had just recently awakened.

Her consciousness was still in a chaotic state of ignorance, like a stone that had just gained life, not yet knowing how to use this body.

She turned her head, and those eyes without pupils, containing only silver nebulae, looked indifferently at the boy.

No response.

No expression.

Not even a trace of emotional fluctuation.

The boy was so scared he took a few steps back, almost tripping over the old yellow ox.

His heart was beating fast, and his palms were sweating.

But seeing that she had no intention of hurting him, just sitting there quietly, he gathered his courage and approached again.

"Sister, you... you look really pretty."

The boy scratched his head, blushing like an apple, his voice stuttering:

"A ten thousand times prettier than Erya in the village. No, a million times!"

Yun Meng continued to look at him, her gaze hollow.

The boy waited for a while, and getting no response, he asked cautiously:

"Where is this place? Can I... can I still go home?"

His voice carried a hint of a sob:

"My mother is still waiting for me to eat. If I don't go back, she'll be worried."

Yun Meng still just looked at him.

In her world, there was no "home," no "mother," and no "pretty."

She couldn't understand what he was saying.

Or rather, she heard him, but could not comprehend the meaning of these words.

To her, these sounds were merely vibrations, fluctuations, completely devoid of meaning.

The boy couldn't get out.

He tried many times, wanting to find the way he came, but that cave had already disappeared.

He was trapped here.

A place with no other people, no food, only an eerie sea and a beautiful sister who didn't speak.

But the boy was an optimistic person.

He quickly accepted reality and started living here.

He discovered that although the seawater here couldn't be drunk, there were fish in the sea. He made a crude harpoon out of tree branches and started fishing.

He also discovered that although there was no sun here, there was light. It was unknown where the light came from, but it was enough for him to see everything around him clearly.

Most importantly, he found that he wouldn't starve to death here.

Although food was scarce, as long as he ate a little bit, it would last him a long time.

It was as if time had slowed down here.

The boy started talking to Yun Meng.

Even though she never responded, even though she was like a block of wood, he could chatter on for a whole day.

"Fairy sister, look, this ox is called Big Yellow."

The boy led the old yellow ox, introducing it proudly:

"He's amazing, he can plow fields, pull carts, and... um, he can also talk with me."

The old yellow ox let out a "moo", as if responding.

"Fairy sister, I caught a fish today!"

The boy held up a silver fish, running excitedly in front of Yun Meng:

"Although the water here doesn't taste good, the fish is quite plump! Do you want to try some?"

He carefully offered the roasted fish to Yun Meng.

Yun Meng glanced at it without any reaction.

The boy waited for a while, withdrew his hand with some disappointment, and started gnawing on it himself.

"Fairy sister, can you smile?"

The boy sat next to Yun Meng, tilting his head to look at her:

"My mom says, a smile makes you ten years younger. You're so pretty, if you smiled, you'd definitely be even prettier!"

Yun Meng still had no reaction.

One year, two years, ten years...

The boy turned into a young man.

He grew taller, his voice deepened, and a beard grew on his face.

But he still talked to Yun Meng every day.

The young man turned into a middle-aged man.

His hair began to turn white, wrinkles appeared on his face, and his body was not as agile as before.

That old yellow ox had died long ago, turning into a pile of dry bones and washed away by the seawater.

The middle-aged man turned into an old man.

He was so old that he could no longer walk. He could only lie on the beach, looking at that eternal grayish-white in the sky.

His body was filthy, his clothes long torn to rags, his hair a tangled mess, and his beard grown very long.

Yet his eyes remained clear.

Those eyes, just as they were when he first saw Yun Meng, were filled with awe and affection.

"Fairy sister..."

The aged cowherd lay on the sandy beach. Using all his remaining strength, he reached out a hand—withered like tree bark and dotted with age spots—wanting to touch the hem of Yun Meng's dress.

He wanted to touch her, even if it was just a fleeting graze of her hem.

But his hand paused in mid-air.

He looked at his own grimy hand, then at Yun Meng's snow-white, immaculate dress.

Overcome with a sense of unworthiness, he withdrew his hand.

"In my entire life... I never got to hear you say a single word."

The old man's voice was very faint, carrying a trace of regret, but mostly filled with contentment:

"But it's alright... Just being able to look at you, I am satisfied."

"The most beautiful thing I have seen in this life is you."

"In the next life... In the next life, I'll take a good bath, put on clean clothes, and come see you again."

He smiled, a smile that was incredibly gentle and content.

Then, he closed his eyes.

He died.

His corpse slowly rotted on the beach, emitting a foul odor. Eventually, it was swept into the sea by the tide, disappearing without a trace.

Yun Meng sat there from beginning to end, her posture unchanging.

She watched the person who had accompanied her for decades turn into a pile of white bones, and watched those bones wash away with the sea.

Her heart remained completely undisturbed.

For in her concept of time, a few decades did not even amount to the blink of an eye.

She did not even know what "death" meant.

She merely felt that the thing which used to make sounds no longer made sounds.

That was all.

An unknown number of years passed.

Perhaps a hundred years, perhaps a thousand, perhaps ten thousand.

To Yun Meng, time had no meaning.

She still sat upon that reef, still holding that same posture, like an eternal statue.

Suddenly.

A figure stumbled in.

It was a scholar wearing a long cyan gown, carrying a bamboo book backpack. He was drenched to the bone, his hair disheveled, and tear stains marked his face.

He looked utterly wretched, yet it could not conceal the refined elegance between his brows and that sorrowful air of unfulfilled ambition.

"Oh Heavens! Since you created me, why create my rival!"

The scholar knelt on the beach, weeping loudly toward the sea, his voice shrill and mournful:

"Why must I suffer such humiliation! Why did that snobbish wretch break off our engagement!"

"I studied bitterly by the cold window for ten years, all just to marry her! And yet she turned around and married that wealthy playboy!"

"God, why are you so unfair!"

The scholar cried with heart-wrenching grief, tears and snot smearing his face.

When he grew tired of crying, he looked up and suddenly saw Yun Meng, who was picking up seashells.

In an instant, the scholar was stunned.

All of his grief, all of his grievances, all of his pain vanished into thin air the moment he saw that peerless face.

He stared blankly at Yun Meng, his mouth hanging wide open, forgetting even to breathe.

What kind of beauty was this.

That beauty reminded him of the fairies described in books, and the goddesses praised in poems.

No, she was even more beautiful than all of them.

"M-miss?"

The scholar gazed at her in a trance, his voice trembling.

He stood up and approached cautiously, afraid of disturbing this fairy.

An inexplicable sense of familiarity, as if etched deep into his soul, welled up in his heart.

"Have I... have I met you somewhere before?"

The scholar scratched his head, his face full of confusion:

"This feeling... is so strange. It's clearly our first time meeting, yet it feels like I've known you for a very, very long time."

Yun Meng picked up a shell and slowly turned around.

She looked at the scholar.

Deep within her memories, it seemed a speck of dust trembled ever so slightly.

It was as if... a long time ago, there was also such a person, who looked at her in this exact way.

But that memory was too blurry, like looking through a thick layer of fog, impossible to see clearly.

The scholar stayed.

He was not as insecure as the cowherd, nor as lowly.

He was a scholar, possessing a scholar's pride and romance.

He began to teach Yun Meng how to read, how to speak, and recited the sappy poems he wrote to her.

"Guan-guan go the ospreys, on the islet in the river. The modest, retiring, virtuous, fair maiden: a good mate for a gentleman."

The scholar recited while swaying his head, stealing glances at Yun Meng from time to time:

"Miss, this poem is written about you. You are that fair maiden whom the gentleman seeks in vain, tossing and turning all night."

Yun Meng still had no reaction.

But the scholar was not discouraged.

Every day he recited poetry, every day he wrote characters, and every day he spoke to Yun Meng.

"Miss, look, this character is read as 'Yun' (Cloud). See, doesn't it look like the clouds in the sky?"

"This character is read as 'Meng' (Dream). See, doesn't it look like someone having a dream?"

"Yun Meng... Yun Meng... This name sounds beautiful. I think it suits you perfectly. Why don't you be called Yun Meng."

The scholar took it upon himself to give Yun Meng a name.

In this lifetime, Yun Meng still didn't have much of a reaction.

But she began to listen.

Whenever the scholar recited poetry, she would stop picking up shells, stand there quietly, and turn her empty eyes toward him.

Although they still lacked focus, at the very least, she was looking.

Another few decades passed.

The scholar grew old too.

His hair turned entirely white, his face was covered in wrinkles, and his back hunched over.

He lay beside that familiar reef, tightly gripping the volume of poetry that had been read to tatters.

"I'm going to leave now."

The scholar looked at Yun Meng, his eyes full of reluctance and regret:

"It's a pity, I still don't know your real name."

"And I don't know if you'll be able to remember mine."

Tremblingly, he wrote two words on the sand:

"Ye Xuan."

The handwriting was crooked, but every stroke was made with all his remaining strength.

"Miss, remember it."

The scholar's voice grew weaker and weaker:

"My name is Ye Xuan."

"In the next life... In the next life, I must hear you call my name."

The scholar's breath gradually weakened, his eyelids growing heavier.

Just at the moment he was about to close his eyes.

The young girl, who had not spoken for decades, or perhaps even tens of thousands of years, slightly moved her lips.

She let out an incredibly dry, incredibly stiff, yet heaven-like sound:

"Ye..."

"...Xuan."

The scholar's eyes widened abruptly.

In this moment, a final burst of terminal lucidity erupted in his eyes, a light more dazzling than all the light in this space.

He smiled, smiling with unparalleled gentleness and unparalleled contentment.

Two trails of clear tears slid down his aged cheeks, dripping onto the sandy beach.

"Ah... I am here."

The scholar's voice was filled with happiness:

"I will return... In the next life, I will definitely return."

"I want to hear you... call my name a few more times."

He closed his eyes, the corners of his mouth still carrying a smile.

It was a smile of contentment.

In the years that followed, he came back many times.

Sometimes as a butcher, covered in the stench of blood, holding a rusted butcher's knife in his hand.

Sometimes as a monk striking a wooden fish, wearing a tattered kasaya, chanting Buddhist scriptures.

Sometimes as a swordsman wandering the world with his blade, radiating righteousness, his gaze sharp and fierce.

Sometimes he was a destitute beggar, clad in rags, yet still maintaining his dignity.

Sometimes he was a majestic general, wearing battle armor and wielding a long spear.

In every lifetime, Ye Xuan had a different identity, a different personality, and different experiences.

But they all had one thing in common—

They would all come here.

They would all find Yun Meng.

They would all stay by her side, talk to her, and tell her about the outside world.

Yun Meng began to try to communicate.

But she was too slow.

Her flow of time and logic of thought were on a completely different dimension from mortals.

In one lifetime, Ye Xuan was a little monk.

The little monk sat cross-legged beside her, pressed his palms together, and asked a question:

"Female benefactor, all mortals suffer, what is liberation?"

Yun Meng blinked and began to ponder this question.

She thought for a very, very long time.

The little monk waited his entire life, but he never got an answer.

He grew old, passed away, and turned into a pile of dry bones.

Three hundred years later.

A swordsman, reeking of murderous intent and covered in blood, barged in.

Holding a broken sword, he was just looking for a place to heal his wounds.

Suddenly.

The always-silent Yun Meng turned her head and, facing the swordsman, answered with extreme seriousness:

"Let go."

The swordsman froze: "???"

He looked at this baffling woman, having absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

"Are... are you talking to me?"

The swordsman pointed at himself, his face full of confusion.

Yun Meng nodded, her voice still stiff:

"All mortals suffer... what is liberation..."

She was repeating the question of that monk from three hundred years ago.

"The answer is... let go."

The swordsman: "..."

He had no idea what was going on, but looking at Yun Meng's earnest expression, he suddenly smiled.

"Let go, huh..."

The swordsman looked at the broken sword in his hand and fell into deep thought.

Yun Meng was too innocent, as pure as a blank sheet of paper.

In this world where there were only the two of them, if Ye Xuan truly harbored any wicked thoughts, he could have done whatever he wanted to her.

She wouldn't resist.

She didn't even know what resistance was.

She was like a newborn infant, knowing nothing of the world, having no concept of good and evil, and possessing no guard against danger.

However, through countless lifetimes and countless Ye Xuans.

Not a single one ever laid a finger on her.

Even if they were burning with desire, even if their love pierced their very bones, even in their most lonely and desperate moments, they always stopped at the bounds of propriety, giving her the most absolute respect and protection.

They only kept her company.

Watching the sea, picking up seashells, and chatting.

Treating this place as the final pure land for their souls, the ultimate sanctuary for their hearts.

Who knows how many lifetimes passed.

Yun Meng finally underwent a noticeable change.

This lifetime, things were a little different.

A flash of sword light tore through space, carving a dazzling trajectory in this eternal silver world.

A man dressed in a snow-white robe, carrying an ancient sword on his back, walked in calmly.

With sword-like eyebrows and starry eyes, he possessed an extraordinary bearing. His cultivation had already reached the peak of the Mahayana realm, only half a step away from ascending to become a True Immortal.

He was not as disheveled as in his past lives, nor as panicked.

He walked in with ease, as naturally as if he were returning home.

Looking at this familiar silver ocean and that familiar silver-haired back, a trace of bewildered joy and relief, as if a lifetime had passed, flashed in the eyes of the white-robed Ye Xuan.

"So... those memory fragments weren't dreams after all."

He sighed softly, a gentle curve forming at the corners of his mouth:

"There really is someone who has been waiting for me here for so long."

"There really is a place that is the sanctuary of my soul."

At this time, Yun Meng, having been baptized by dozens, perhaps even hundreds of reincarnations, was becoming more and more like a human.

Her eyes were no longer so hollow, her movements no longer so stiff, and she had even learned some simple facial expressions.

She sensed a familiar soul fluctuation.

It was an indelible mark etched deep within the soul.

She threw away the seashell in her hand and turned around.

No hesitation, no blank stares.

Like a young wife seeing her husband return home, she ran over barefoot with quick steps, opened her arms, and hugged the white-robed Ye Xuan tightly.

"Ah Xuan."

She called out this name, her voice no longer stiff, but carrying a hint of tenderness and joy.

The white-robed Ye Xuan trembled all over.

He reached out and gently stroked her soft silver hair, his eyes growing slightly moist:

"Yes, I'm back."

"I have finally... returned."

In this lifetime, they were like true soulmates, like true lovers.

Ye Xuan no longer treated her as a divine idol to be worshiped, no longer carefully maintained a distance.

He held her hand, sat by the sea, and told her about the outside world.

He spoke of the struggles between sects, the enmities and gratitudes of the martial world, where the strongest wine was, where the most fragrant flowers bloomed, and where the prettiest girls lived.

Although Yun Meng still didn't speak much, she would rest her head on his shoulder and listen quietly.

In her eyes, a light had begun to shine.