The Sorrows of a Female Emperor

Outside the hall.

Heavy snow was still falling.

Wu Lingxiao stood in the shadows of the corridor, her chest heaving violently.

As the dignified Empress, when had she ever suffered such grievances?

But at the thought of Ye Xuan's dead eyes, a sudden, inexplicable panic gripped her heart.

She was afraid he would actually die.

Even if he was imprisoned by a divine soul seal, even if his life was sustained by the best elixirs, if a person was dead set on dying, even the gods would find it hard to save him.

"Damn it..."

Wu Lingxiao slammed her fist fiercely against the vermilion pillar.

After a long time, the furious rage in her eyes gradually subsided, replaced by a look of complexity.

She remembered that before Ye Xuan entered the palace, she had disguised herself as an Embroidery Maid and met him once.

"Since the identity of an emperor suffocates you..."

Wu Lingxiao took a deep breath, and the spiritual light around her body twisted.

A moment later, the Empress whose majesty dominated the world vanished. In her place stood a middle-aged woman dressed in coarse linen, with delicate but not stunning features.

She even conjured calluses on her hands from years of hard labor, and the fine lines at the corners of her eyes were just right.

Now she was a female worker in the royal laundry, an Embroidery Maid.

Wu Lingxiao looked at her unfamiliar self in a water mirror, curled her lips in self-deprecation, then picked up a basin of hot water and pushed open the doors of the Sweet Dew Hall once more.

Inside the hall, it was still dead silent.

Wu Lingxiao walked to the bed and looked at the young man who resembled a fragile porcelain doll, her heart aching.

She reached out, gathered an extremely concealed trace of spiritual energy at her fingertip, and gently tapped it against the center of Ye Xuan's brow.

"Release."

With a soft shout, the divine soul seal that had imprisoned Ye Xuan for an entire month quietly dissipated.

Ye Xuan's body gave a violent shudder.

Long-lost sensation returned to his body, accompanied by an aching soreness throughout all his meridians.

But he could not care less about that. He suddenly opened his eyes wide and instinctively tried to bite his tongue to commit suicide—

"It's me."

A familiar, gentle voice, carrying a bit of the earthly warmth of the common folk, rang out.

Ye Xuan's movements froze.

He turned his head with difficulty, his vision gradually clearing.

When he saw the woman in coarse clothes by the bed looking at him with a face full of worry, a layer of mist suddenly welled up in those eyes that had been dead for a month.

"Sis... Sister?"

Ye Xuan's voice was terribly hoarse, as if it had been rubbed with sandpaper.

He looked at the person before him in disbelief.

In this cold, filthy imperial palace, this face was the only touch of warmth in his memory.

"Is it you? Sister?"

Ye Xuan struggled to sit up, but fell back due to his weak body.

But he smiled.

This smile was desolate and broken, yet it revealed the kind of grievance and reliance one feels upon seeing family.

At this moment, he was no longer a resolute and unyielding man, but just a child who had suffered endless wrongs.

Seeing this smile, Wu Lingxiao, incarnated as the Embroidery Maid, felt as if her heart had been fiercely squeezed.

How long had it been since she last saw him smile at her?

Even if this smile was directed at the Embroidery Maid, an indescribable surge of sorrow and jealousy still welled up in her heart.

"It's me. I've come to see you."

Wu Lingxiao forcefully suppressed the strange feeling in her heart, stretched out her rough hand to tuck in the corners of his blanket, and spoke with a tone that carried a trace of reproach, but mostly heartache:

"You silly boy, since you have already served her in bed and what is done is done, why can't you just live well? Why must you torture yourself into this half-human, half-ghost state?"

Hearing these words, the light in Ye Xuan's eyes trembled.

He lowered his eyelids, his long eyelashes casting a shadow across his pale face.

"Sister, I have no other choice."

Two lines of clear tears slid down the corners of his eyes and disappeared into his temples.

"Her Majesty won't promise me a lifetime of monogamy."

"And she won't let me go. She locked me up here, treating me as a plaything, a tool to vent her lust. I have no way out to live, so I can only die."

The Embroidery Maid's fingers stiffened slightly.

She looked at Ye Xuan's despairing expression and could not help but sneer, her tone carrying a bit of probing and displeasure:

"You really dare to ask. That is the Empress, the ruler of this Great Xia. Three palaces and six courtyards are the norm for an emperor; how could she dismiss her harem and favor only you, a mere Qi Condensation cultivator?"

"In this world, what man would dare to make such a demand? Aren't you just being ungrateful?"

Hearing this, Ye Xuan slowly shook his head.

He looked up, a stubborn light flickering in those tearful eyes:

"Sister, are status and position really that important?"

"People are all equal in soul. She is the Empress, and I am a commoner, but that doesn't mean my feelings are cheaper than hers."

Ye Xuan looked at the Embroidery Maid and said word by word:

"Sister, if the one who took my first time was you, I would make the same demand."

Boom!

This sentence exploded in Wu Lingxiao's mind like a clap of thunder.

She was completely stunned, her body hidden beneath the coarse clothes trembling slightly, and her cheeks actually flushed with a long-lost burning heat.

If... it was her?

If it was in the identity of the Embroidery Maid, rather than the Empress... he would also want a lifetime of monogamy?

"You..."

The Embroidery Maid felt her face burning, a panic she had never experienced before surging into her heart.

She hurriedly avoided Ye Xuan's burning, candid gaze and feigned composure as she said:

"You kid, what nonsense are you sprouting... Besides dying, do you have no other thoughts?"

Ye Xuan smiled bitterly, his eyes dimming once again:

"My strength is too weak. This is deep within the imperial palace, where experts are as common as clouds; I cannot break out. If I stay here, I can only be her pet, one of her male concubines."

"I don't want to live like that. Those days would be worse than death. So I might as well die; dying ends everything, and at least I will still be clean."

"Clean?"

These two words once again stung Wu Lingxiao's nerves.

The Embroidery Maid's face darkened, her tone becoming somewhat sharp:

"Her Majesty is not a cold and brutal person. As long as you treat her well and stop making a fuss, she will fall in love with you too. At that time, if you want her exclusive favor, you might not be without a chance."

"No."

Ye Xuan interrupted her, his tone so resolute that it left absolutely no room for negotiation:

"She has other men, I don't want her."

"She is dirty."

These three words were spoken calmly by Ye Xuan, but they felt like a resounding slap fiercely striking Wu Lingxiao's face.

Dirty.

This word again.

As the Empress of Great Xia, she was the proud daughter of heaven, the god revered by millions.

It had always only been her despising others; when had she ever been despised?

And to be so bluntly despised by a man she held dear to her heart!

The Embroidery Maid almost exploded on the spot. She truly wanted to revert to her true form as the Empress and slap this reckless fool to death.

She took several deep breaths, her chest heaving violently. Forcibly suppressing the fury that threatened to burst through the top of her skull, she gritted her teeth and asked in return:

"And what about you? You have already given your body to Her Majesty, aren't you dirty too?"

The air froze for a moment.

Ye Xuan fell silent.

He lowered his head and looked at his pale wrists, which still bore the bruises from his struggles.

His eyes became incredibly hollow, filled with self-loathing.

"Yes..."

He said softly, his voice so faint it seemed it would scatter with the wind:

"I am dirty too."

"I have been soiled as well... that's exactly why I want to die."

"I don't deserve that kind of love anymore, and I am no longer worthy of my future 'her'. Since I am already dirty, I will destroy this soiled body! At least my soul... can leave cleanly."

Wu Lingxiao was completely stunned.

She looked at Ye Xuan's expression of utter despair. The anger in her heart was suddenly extinguished as if by a basin of ice water, replaced by an unprecedented shock and sorrow.

He truly thought so.

He wasn't putting on airs, nor was he playing hard to get.

He genuinely felt that this relationship disgusted him.

This was the first time in Wu Lingxiao's life that she had been despised to such an extent.

It was also the first time she realized that the power and strength she was so proud of were utterly worthless in front of this young man.

After a long silence.

Wu Lingxiao let out a long breath of stale air.

After all, she was an Empress with a resolute mind. Although deeply struck, she wouldn't just break down. She adjusted her emotions and forced a stiff smile back onto her face:

"Alright, stop talking about death all the time. Let's chat."

"Chat about what?" Ye Xuan asked numbly.

"About your dreams. If you hadn't entered the palace, and if you weren't going to die, what kind of life would you want to live?"

Wu Lingxiao pulled up a stool and sat by the bed, guiding him patiently like a caring older sister.

Ye Xuan froze for a moment.

Dreams?

This word was already too distant for him. But looking at the encouraging gaze of the Embroidery Maid, the faint spark in his heart flickered once more.

"I..."

Ye Xuan's gaze passed through the crack in the window, looking at the gray sky outside. His eyes gradually became distant:

"I want to find a Dao companion who shares my ideals."

"We wouldn't need to be rich, nor would we need high status. We could be a pair of rogue cultivators, wandering the world. In the spring, we'd go to Jiangnan to see the flowers; in the summer, to the North Sea to see the snow; in the autumn, to the desert to see the lonely smoke; and in the winter, we'd sit around the stove in a small wooden cabin, warming wine."

At this point, a vivid radiance that had never been seen before appeared on Ye Xuan's pale face. It was the purest yearning for freedom and love:

"One life, one lifetime, one pair. I would practice the sword, and she would play the zither. We would guard each other like this, until our hair turned white and our teeth fell out, still holding hands to watch the sunset."

"That is my dream."

Wu Lingxiao listened quietly, experiencing a complex mix of emotions.

It sounded beautiful, but in the cruel cultivation world, it was laughably naive.

"Hmph, naive."

The Embroidery Maid couldn't help but turn on her mocking mode; this was her instinctive mindset as an expert:

"The survival conditions for rogue cultivators are extremely harsh. People will kill and rob for just a few spirit stones. Your cultivation base is so low. If your Dao companion disdained poverty and loved wealth, or if she met a stronger cultivator, she might turn around and betray you, selling you out."

"When that time comes, your one life, one lifetime, one pair will be nothing but a joke."

Ye Xuan turned his head and looked at the Embroidery Maid, his eyes unusually calm:

"If she betrays me, that is her business."

Ye Xuan's voice was resolute and decisive, revealing a desperate ruthlessness:

"I would leave her immediately and never look back. No matter how much it hurts, I will not cling to a traitor."

"And then?"

Wu Lingxiao pressed further, feeling a faint sense of nervousness in her heart. "Would you stop looking for other Dao companions because of that?"

"No."

Ye Xuan shook his head:

"I would find another Dao companion. I can't guarantee that I will only have one Dao companion in my entire life; after all, the human heart is unpredictable. But I will be responsible for every current Dao companion."

"As long as she does not betray me, I will never leave or abandon her, depending on each other in life and death."

"As long as we only have each other in our eyes when we love each other, that is enough."

Wu Lingxiao bit her lip, her nails digging deeply into her palms.

This kind of view on relationships was simply unheard of, even treacherous, to an Empress like her who sat upon a harem.

But for some reason, listening to Ye Xuan's words, a strong surge of jealousy welled up in her heart.

Jealous of that non-existent woman who might appear by Ye Xuan's side in the future.

On what grounds?

Why should that woman receive such pure and complete love from him?

While she, exhausting the power of the entire world, could only get his corpse and his hatred?

"So..."

Wu Lingxiao's voice trembled slightly as she stared fixedly at Ye Xuan:

"So you must leave the palace? Even if I... even if Her Majesty treats you incredibly well, you still insist on leaving?"

"Yes."

Ye Xuan answered without hesitation:

"This place is a prison, a gilded cage. No matter how powerful or beautiful the Empress is, she is not the right person for me."

"She cannot give me the equality and respect I want. All she gives is charity and possession."

Wu Lingxiao trembled all over, a feeling of extreme anger intertwined with extreme powerlessness.

She really wanted to tear off her disguise right now and yell at him: What I give you is the best! You ungrateful fool!

But she held back.

Because she knew that once they tore off all pretenses, Ye Xuan really would die.

"If you die now, you will never have the chance to leave the palace in the future. All those dreams of yours will become nothing but bubbles." Wu Lingxiao took a deep breath, trying to persuade him with logic.

Ye Xuan smiled bitterly, his eyes dimming once again:

"I have no choice either. I tried, but I can't escape. My cultivation is too poor; I can't even break the restrictions on this door. If I can only live as a pet like this, then I'd rather die."

Seeing him looking like he was going to seek death again, Wu Lingxiao only felt a surge of anger in her heart, followed by another wave of sorrow.

When did she, a majestic Empress, ever need to humbly beg someone to stay alive like this?