Actually, I'm Not Fine at All

"These past few days have been exhausting, but things will ease up starting tomorrow. Get back to the dorm early and rest." In the glass corridor, Li Qingxue said with concern as she looked at Hu Yuying’s weary expression.

"Yeah, I know," Hu Yuying replied absentmindedly, her thoughts still lingering on Qingxue’s confession—that she liked Long Aotian...

"See you tomorrow." With that, Li Qingxue headed toward the dorm.

Hu Yuying didn’t leave. Instead, she turned to watch Qingxue’s retreating figure, her eyes flickering with hesitation before she finally called out, "Qingxue."

Li Qingxue paused and turned back with a smile. "What’s up, Yuying?"

Seeing the frown on Hu Yuying’s face, Li Qingxue walked back to her and gently smoothed her furrowed brow with her fingers. "What’s wrong?"

Though they hadn’t known each other for long, Hu Yuying had been nothing but kind to her—so much so that Li Qingxue found herself emotionally invested in her well-being.

Gazing into Li Qingxue’s concerned eyes, Hu Yuying softly took hold of the hand resting on her forehead. If it were anyone else, she would have been thrilled and fully supportive of Qingxue’s feelings.

She might have even played wingman for her, because Qingxue was her closest friend.

But why did Qingxue have to like Long Aotian?

She liked him too—so much, in fact, that she didn’t know what to do.

Giving up on him was impossible.

So...

She held Qingxue’s hand lightly, her eyes serious as she spoke. "Qingxue, what if—just what if—someone else liked Long Aotian too?"

Li Qingxue thought for a moment before giving a shy smile. "I don’t know." Her tone was uncertain.

Long Aotian was a gentle soul, the kind of person anyone would notice after spending time with him. Naturally, he’d be popular with girls.

Hadn’t she herself fallen for him without even realizing it?

"But if there is someone else, then it’s fair competition," Li Qingxue said, lightly brushing her long hair aside. "After all, I’m not so bad myself."

"What if... what if I really liked him too?" Hu Yuying’s voice was barely above a whisper, as if stating a fact or murmuring to herself.

If she had been braver, if she hadn’t hidden her feelings, if she had confessed as openly as Qingxue—would things have been different?

Hearing this, Li Qingxue chuckled, thinking Hu Yuying was joking.

It wasn’t surprising. If Hu Yuying had feelings for Long Aotian, they would have been together long ago.

From what she’d observed, Hu Yuying clearly relied on Long Aotian, and he, in turn, took great care of her.

Yet there was always an invisible wall between them.

If she had to describe it, it was like the affection between an older brother and a younger sister.

Besides, they’d known each other since the second half of their senior year in high school. Now, after graduating and entering university, if they had mutual feelings, they would have gotten together by now.

At first, Li Qingxue had even mistaken them for a couple.

She’d teased Long Aotian about it, but he’d brushed it off, saying Hu Yuying was just his "little sidekick."

Back then, she’d assumed he was just being shy, so she’d kept her own feelings hidden.

But when Hu Yuying also confirmed they weren’t dating, she’d finally let herself fall for him without restraint.

"You’re not worried I’ll steal all of Long Aotian’s attention from you, are you?" Li Qingxue teased playfully, leaning closer against Hu Yuying. The scent of another girl was always so nice—soft and sweet. "But if it’s you, I might actually feel a little threatened."

Hu Yuying stiffened at her words. She cherished her friendship with Qingxue, but she couldn’t bring herself to give up on Long Aotian.

She was just his little sidekick—a coward who loved him in secret. She had no right to stop others from liking him.

If Qingxue wanted fair competition, then so be it.

That night, sleep eluded many.

Lin Wanning couldn’t sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Long Aotian tilting her chin up, leaning in so close that she could see her own reflection in his pupils.

So close that his breath seemed to whisper against her ear.

That tingling sensation—the rush of adrenaline, the flutter in her chest, the shyness of a girl in love—left her tossing in bed, careful not to wake her roommates.

Li Qingxue couldn’t sleep. It was the first time she’d ever openly confessed her feelings. Scenes from the day replayed in her mind.

At first, it had just been a simple urge to share her thoughts. Slowly, it had turned into an inexplicable fondness.

Then, without her realizing, it became a habit.

And now, the seed buried deep in her heart had sprouted uncontrollably.

She used to think love was just a trivial thing.

But now, this "trivial thing" had taken over her entire heart.

Hu Yuying couldn’t sleep. She loved Long Aotian.

The happiness she felt with him was real.

The jealousy when she caught him sneaking glances at other girls’ legs was real.

The sadness when he was away from her was real.

And her desire to stay by his side forever was real.

But Qingxue’s boldness left her unsettled.

Even when she’d impulsively kissed Long Aotian before, she hadn’t felt this flustered.

For the first time, she was terrified of losing him...

Ye Liangchen couldn’t sleep. Tears streamed down his face as he gazed at the moon, holding a wilted rose to the sky—a tribute to his fallen love.

Long Aotian couldn’t sleep either—because his three idiot roommates were too rowdy.

......

The next morning.

When Li Qingxue spotted Hu Yuying, her cheeks flushed as she hurried over. "Yuying, don’t tell Long Aotian what I said yesterday, okay? I still need to figure out how he feels."

"Don’t worry, I won’t say anything," Hu Yuying replied. She’d spent the night thinking things through. Long Aotian was wonderful—it was only natural for others to fall for him too.

If she couldn’t stop girls from liking him, she might as well face the competition head-on.

"Hehe, I knew you’d keep my secret. You’re the best, Yuying!" Li Qingxue linked arms with her, grinning.

"I’m really not that great," Hu Yuying murmured silently in her heart.

Today is the last day of the month, and tomorrow marks the start of a new month—a fresh beginning. Wishing all my dear readers an early Happy New Year! I haven’t taken a single day off this entire month, so I’d like to make a small request. As we step into the new month and celebrate New Year’s Day, could everyone spare a little support? I know some of you might be busy and may only have time to click "next chapter," but tomorrow, could you all lend a hand, even if it’s just a tiny bit? Every little contribution adds up, just like how vultures gather scraps. I’d truly appreciate it!