Ning Shu was startled, her heart thumping: "What's going on here...?"
She remembered the last time the two of them went into the woods together, also holding hands, but without this feeling.
"Could it be...I've fallen for this guy?" She thought. "No way..."
Ning Shu followed Lu Zhe, stepping high and low into the woods. She just felt confused!
It was difficult to walk in these woods. To ensure safety, Lu Zhe took careful steps!
He used a stick to beat the grass ahead, scaring away resting poisonous bugs and snakes!
And walking through the woods, Lu Zhe also discovered good stuff!
He found a shrub with small red berries growing on it. Holding it in his hand, information appeared in his mind!
Raspberries!
Lu Zhe was overjoyed!
These were sweet and sour berries. Though the texture was nothing special, they quenched thirst, cleared heat and detoxified!
They were very good wild fruits!
He and Ning Shu picked a small bagful, and each ate quite a few!
After walking for a while longer, trouble came! Ning Shu suddenly grabbed her stomach, feeling the urge to use the bathroom!
"Crap, why now..."
"What's wrong?"
"I..." Ning Shu smiled awkwardly. "I need to pee a little!"
Lu Zhe looked around and nodded. "Go here. I'll turn around!"
"No, that won't work!"
"Why wouldn't it work?"
Ning Shu's face flushed, extremely conflicted. "It's...a number two."
"Number two?" Lu Zhe said in pleasant surprise. "Wow, is the legendary melon seed finally going to come out into the world?"
Ning Shu punched Lu Zhe. "Don't mention seeds. Wait here, I'll go find a place myself!"
She looked around to find somewhere private!
Lu Zhe found a protruding rock. After checking for traces of poisonous snakes or bugs, he said: "This spot is great!"
Ning Shu looked and pushed Lu Zhe. "Fine! Go, get away from me. I'll deal with the seeds myself later!"
"Okay okay, I'm leaving!"
"Hey, don't go too far!"
"I'll stay in sight. Call if you need anything!"
"Don't turn around!"
"Why would I be so bored?"
Lu Zhe observed nearby plants for edible wild vegetables and herbs!
Before long, Ning Shu let out a breath.
"Done!"
When she went to pull up her pants, she discovered a terrible problem!
Crap!
No toilet paper!
Oh right, Lu Zhe had a notebook!
Tearing off two pages would have to do!
"Lu Zhe!"
"Yes?"
"Tear off two clean pages from my notebook..."
She thought this was a perfectly reasonable demand. But unexpectedly, Lu Zhe flat out rejected it:
"No way!"
Lu Zhe explained: "Now every page in the notebooks are extremely precious non-renewable resources for recording important information. How could they be used to wipe your butt!?"
Ning Shu pleadingly: "Then what do I do..."
Lu Zhe's solution was simple and crude: "Simple! Don't wipe, just pull up your pants! Wash off at the beach later!"
Ning Shu was annoyed: "Lu Zhe, you're clearly trying to make me look bad!"
Lu Zhe calmly and nonchalantly replied: "No, I'm suggesting the safest, most reasonable, most scientific method!"
"Fine! You're going too far!" Ning Shu nodded. "I'll figure something out myself!"
Suddenly, Lu Zhe thought of something and warned: "Class monitor, I advise you not to think of anything, especially not to use leaves. Immediately pull up your pants and come out!"
"Thanks but no thanks for your concern!"
Ning Shu emerged, holding a tightly tied little plastic bag!
"Done!"
Lu Zhe grabbed her wrist. "Did you wipe?"
Ning Shu raised her eyebrows. "None of your business!"
As Ning Shu walked further in, she felt an unbearable itchiness in her inner thighs!
"Ow..."
She wanted to scratch but was worried it would ruin her image as a young lady!
Enduring it was also extremely uncomfortable!
Just then, Lu Zhe realized: "You used leaves, right?"
Ning Shu said: "I'm a girl, it's not like I could just air dry! I just casually..."
Lu Zhe sternly said: "Air drying for a while is better than getting hurt! Do you know, in the past when the army was in Southeast Asia, soldiers used leaves from unknown sources to wipe their butts. Guess what happened?"
Ning Shu blankly asked: "What happened?"
Lu Zhe made a gun gesture to his temple and said:
"Boom! They committed suicide!"
"Very funny! I thought they were poisoned to death! I've heard similar jokes before. A dog died after eating mushrooms, then its owner started vomiting violently. Turns out the dog was hit by a car instead!"
Lu Zhe solemnly said: "But do you know why they committed suicide?"
His grim tone made Ning Shu a little nervous.
She stammered: "W-why?"
"The unbearable itching was worse than death!"
"Huh?" Ning Shu shivered, and the current discomfort below made her break out in a cold sweat!
"Which leaf did you use?"
"It was..." Wherever Ning Shu tried to go, it felt like a hundred bugs crawling over her skin. No matter how much she stomped her feet, it didn't alleviate the feeling!
Lu Zhe helplessly walked over and picked up the poop-stained leaf!
Information about the leaf appeared in his mind!
"Dogbane, also called stinging nettle or scorpion grass! It has fine hairs that painfully sting like bees. The itching is unbearable!
The purple variety has medicinal value! It tastes pungent, bitter and cold. Highly toxic. Mainly treats unceasing vomiting. For snake bites, grind and apply topically. For early symptoms of measles, dot treated areas and the rash will be gone overnight!"
It seemed the purple leaves could detoxify, but this plant was green without much medicinal value!
The key problem was, even slight contact with the back of the hand would cause endless pain. Using it to wipe sensitive areas was unimaginably agonizing!
Ning Shu yelled: "Hurry throw it away! Too disgusting!"
It was clear Ning Shu had reached her limit of discomfort!
Luckily it wouldn't endanger her life!
So how to detoxify?
Lu Zhe checked the system manual. Three methods were given!
1. Thoroughly wash with soap and water!
No way to do that here!
2. Detoxify with herbal medicine (wormwood, honeysuckle, snake tongue grass, wild mint etc.). Grind and apply on affected area!
Also couldn't find so many herbs right now!
3. Emergency wilderness treatment method!
Quickly wash affected area with sterile water!
Where to find sterile water?
Wait!
Lu Zhe seemed to have thought of something!
transmigrates into the world as the sect master of the Heavenly Yan Sect, which is on the verge of being wiped out. He binds a system that grants him cultivation power based on the number of disciples he has: for each disciple, he automatically gains a year's worth of cultivation every single day! Take one disciple: every day he gains 1 year of cultivation power. While others struggle through a year of bitter training, he gets the same just by sleeping through a single night. Take ten disciples: every day he gains 10 years of cultivation power. Foundation Establishment, Core Formation, Nascent Soul—he breezes through all bottlenecks without lifting a finger. Take one hundred disciples: every day he gains 100 years of cultivation power. Even a Soul Transformation Venerable before him can’t survive a single blow. Take ten thousand disciples: every day he gains 10,000 years of cultivation power! With a wave of his hand, he topples empires. With a single step, he crushes the sacred grounds of the universe. ... While others fight tooth and nail for secret techniques, Lin Yan casually hands out Nascent Soul-level cultivation manuals as beginner textbooks. While others strain to find talented recruits, Lin Yan opens his doors to anyone—so long as they’re human. In just three short years, the Heavenly Yan Sect went from a backwater sect made up of three crumbling huts to a sacred land that every cultivator under heaven would kill to enter. ... One day, otherworldly demon gods invade, with a million demon soldiers pressing down upon the realm. Lin Yan, yawning, rises from his lounge chair and glances at the system panel: [Current Disciples: 1.28 million] [Daily Cultivation Increase: 1.28 million years] He waves his hand casually, and the countless demon soldiers are reduced to ashes in an instant. “So noisy… interrupting my fishing.”
young master of the Shen family—a figure of immense power and wealth beyond measure—and awakened the "Destined Ultimate Villain System"! His starting scenario? Running into his icy fiancée who shows up with a mountain-descending divine doctor to break off their engagement. The divine doctor arrogantly taunts: "What does your Shen family have besides a bit of stinking money? You're not even worthy of tying Qingxue's shoelaces!" Shen Fei just smiled. He completely defied the usual script: "Fine, I agree to break off the engagement. Also, notify the finance department to withdraw all investments from the Su family." Minutes later, with its capital chain severed, the Su Group teetered on the brink of bankruptcy! The once aloof and proud ice queen CEO was thrown into utter panic. That very night, she went to Shen Fei's villa, casting aside all dignity to beg and plead desperately... From then on, in this world teeming with Sons of Destiny, Shen Fei embarked on a path of extreme dimensional suppression! A mountain-descending divine doctor? Peerless medical skills? Shen Fei: "Reporting you for practicing medicine without a license! I'll gladly take your ancient medicinal cauldron and twin sister assassins." The Crooked-Smiling Dragon King? Commanding a hundred thousand soldiers with a single order? Shen Fei: "Illegal assembly and suspected treason! Let a fleet of attack helicopters sanitize the area and teach you what the state apparatus really means!" A reborn tycoon? Knows all the golden opportunities of the next decade? Shen Fei: "A trillion in capital to reverse and pump the stock market, making you blow your margin and jump on the very first day of your rebirth!" What Chosen Ones? What bearers of Heavenly Fortune? In Shen Fei's eyes, they're all just chives (i.e., suckers/marks) waiting to be harvested! Shen Fei: "Sorry, but as the Destined Ultimate Villain, I don't play by the rules of honor. I only play the game of dimensional suppression."
ose... to cooperate with the protagonist! Shen Yuan: I have a system! Protagonist: What? System: Holy crap, you're just spilling it out like that? Shen Yuan: Let's team up, we'll split the system rewards! Protagonist: Fifty-fifty split? Shen Yuan: No way! Protagonist: What!? I'm the one getting beaten up, and I don't get half? Shen Yuan: Forty-sixty split, I get forty, you get sixty! Protagonist: Deal! Big brother, come on, hit me! As long as it doesn't kill me, beat me like you mean it! Shen Yuan: Don't worry... I will definitely protect all of you! No one but me can lay a finger on you! Guard our Heaven's Chosen Ones! I'm the only one allowed to bully them!
ap a wealthy young lady? Or else I'll be eliminated by the system? Ye Feng, who awakened the Kidnapper System, originally wanted to live a peaceful life but never imagined he would become a kidnapper of young women. However, after some time, he discovered that all the girls the system ordered him to kidnap were far from ordinary. "Big brother Ye Feng~ You've kidnapped my heart, and now you're not allowed to leave me ever again~" "Ye Feng~ You kidnapped me back then, now it's my turn to capture you♡" "Little Feng, you're mine! You can only be mine!" "Ye Feng, none of them deserve you. Only I love you the most♡" ... This is madness, they've all gone mad! Wait, what? Why are all the girls I kidnapped yanderes?!
