The Big Misunderstanding

Ning Shu was startled, her heart thumping: "What's going on here...?"

She remembered the last time the two of them went into the woods together, also holding hands, but without this feeling.

"Could it be...I've fallen for this guy?" She thought. "No way..."

Ning Shu followed Lu Zhe, stepping high and low into the woods. She just felt confused!

It was difficult to walk in these woods. To ensure safety, Lu Zhe took careful steps!

He used a stick to beat the grass ahead, scaring away resting poisonous bugs and snakes!

And walking through the woods, Lu Zhe also discovered good stuff!

He found a shrub with small red berries growing on it. Holding it in his hand, information appeared in his mind!

Raspberries!

Lu Zhe was overjoyed!

These were sweet and sour berries. Though the texture was nothing special, they quenched thirst, cleared heat and detoxified!

They were very good wild fruits!

He and Ning Shu picked a small bagful, and each ate quite a few!

After walking for a while longer, trouble came! Ning Shu suddenly grabbed her stomach, feeling the urge to use the bathroom!

"Crap, why now..."

"What's wrong?"

"I..." Ning Shu smiled awkwardly. "I need to pee a little!"

Lu Zhe looked around and nodded. "Go here. I'll turn around!"

"No, that won't work!"

"Why wouldn't it work?"

Ning Shu's face flushed, extremely conflicted. "It's...a number two."

"Number two?" Lu Zhe said in pleasant surprise. "Wow, is the legendary melon seed finally going to come out into the world?"

Ning Shu punched Lu Zhe. "Don't mention seeds. Wait here, I'll go find a place myself!"

She looked around to find somewhere private!

Lu Zhe found a protruding rock. After checking for traces of poisonous snakes or bugs, he said: "This spot is great!"

Ning Shu looked and pushed Lu Zhe. "Fine! Go, get away from me. I'll deal with the seeds myself later!"

"Okay okay, I'm leaving!"

"Hey, don't go too far!"

"I'll stay in sight. Call if you need anything!"

"Don't turn around!"

"Why would I be so bored?"

Lu Zhe observed nearby plants for edible wild vegetables and herbs!

Before long, Ning Shu let out a breath.

"Done!"

When she went to pull up her pants, she discovered a terrible problem!

Crap!

No toilet paper!

Oh right, Lu Zhe had a notebook!

Tearing off two pages would have to do!

"Lu Zhe!"

"Yes?"

"Tear off two clean pages from my notebook..."

She thought this was a perfectly reasonable demand. But unexpectedly, Lu Zhe flat out rejected it:

"No way!"

Lu Zhe explained: "Now every page in the notebooks are extremely precious non-renewable resources for recording important information. How could they be used to wipe your butt!?"

Ning Shu pleadingly: "Then what do I do..."

Lu Zhe's solution was simple and crude: "Simple! Don't wipe, just pull up your pants! Wash off at the beach later!"

Ning Shu was annoyed: "Lu Zhe, you're clearly trying to make me look bad!"

Lu Zhe calmly and nonchalantly replied: "No, I'm suggesting the safest, most reasonable, most scientific method!"

"Fine! You're going too far!" Ning Shu nodded. "I'll figure something out myself!"

Suddenly, Lu Zhe thought of something and warned: "Class monitor, I advise you not to think of anything, especially not to use leaves. Immediately pull up your pants and come out!"

"Thanks but no thanks for your concern!"

Ning Shu emerged, holding a tightly tied little plastic bag!

"Done!"

Lu Zhe grabbed her wrist. "Did you wipe?"

Ning Shu raised her eyebrows. "None of your business!"

As Ning Shu walked further in, she felt an unbearable itchiness in her inner thighs!

"Ow..."

She wanted to scratch but was worried it would ruin her image as a young lady!

Enduring it was also extremely uncomfortable!

Just then, Lu Zhe realized: "You used leaves, right?"

Ning Shu said: "I'm a girl, it's not like I could just air dry! I just casually..."

Lu Zhe sternly said: "Air drying for a while is better than getting hurt! Do you know, in the past when the army was in Southeast Asia, soldiers used leaves from unknown sources to wipe their butts. Guess what happened?"

Ning Shu blankly asked: "What happened?"

Lu Zhe made a gun gesture to his temple and said:

"Boom! They committed suicide!"

"Very funny! I thought they were poisoned to death! I've heard similar jokes before. A dog died after eating mushrooms, then its owner started vomiting violently. Turns out the dog was hit by a car instead!"

Lu Zhe solemnly said: "But do you know why they committed suicide?"

His grim tone made Ning Shu a little nervous.

She stammered: "W-why?"

"The unbearable itching was worse than death!"

"Huh?" Ning Shu shivered, and the current discomfort below made her break out in a cold sweat!

"Which leaf did you use?"

"It was..." Wherever Ning Shu tried to go, it felt like a hundred bugs crawling over her skin. No matter how much she stomped her feet, it didn't alleviate the feeling!

Lu Zhe helplessly walked over and picked up the poop-stained leaf!

Information about the leaf appeared in his mind!

"Dogbane, also called stinging nettle or scorpion grass! It has fine hairs that painfully sting like bees. The itching is unbearable!

The purple variety has medicinal value! It tastes pungent, bitter and cold. Highly toxic. Mainly treats unceasing vomiting. For snake bites, grind and apply topically. For early symptoms of measles, dot treated areas and the rash will be gone overnight!"

It seemed the purple leaves could detoxify, but this plant was green without much medicinal value!

The key problem was, even slight contact with the back of the hand would cause endless pain. Using it to wipe sensitive areas was unimaginably agonizing!

Ning Shu yelled: "Hurry throw it away! Too disgusting!"

It was clear Ning Shu had reached her limit of discomfort!

Luckily it wouldn't endanger her life!

So how to detoxify?

Lu Zhe checked the system manual. Three methods were given!

1. Thoroughly wash with soap and water!

No way to do that here!

2. Detoxify with herbal medicine (wormwood, honeysuckle, snake tongue grass, wild mint etc.). Grind and apply on affected area!

Also couldn't find so many herbs right now!

3. Emergency wilderness treatment method!

Quickly wash affected area with sterile water!

Where to find sterile water?

Wait!

Lu Zhe seemed to have thought of something!