Bro Understands My Attack

During evening self-study, Su Kexi held a brief meeting in the classroom.

Two weeks later, after the monthly exams, the school would hold its annual autumn sports day. Each class needed to form a relay team, and there were quotas for participation.

If there weren’t enough volunteers, some students would have to be "persuaded" to join—tradition couldn’t be broken.

Shen Nian wasn’t a fan of sports and had no interest in the event, preferring to leave the opportunity to those who were prepared.

For senior high school students, the sports day was more like a holiday.

As a seasoned veteran who had already participated twice, Shen Nian knew the real highlights weren’t the energetic athletes but the girls in cosplay outfits and skirts on the sidelines.

Still, three days without classes was a win.

The school’s timing was strategic—right after exams, when everyone wanted to unwind, followed by the National Day holiday. By the time the fun was over, students would (mostly) refocus on studying.

The sign-up sheet was with Xia Yanchun. As soon as class ended, a group of boys rushed to register, especially Huang Chen, the class athlete. For him, nothing beat dominating amateurs at the sports day.

For most, the event was just for show—only the athletes were there to compete, though hidden talents might emerge.

Amid the noisy crowd, Shen Nian found it too loud and dragged Chen Dong to the bathroom, then used Chen Dong’s shirt as a towel to dry his hands.

"Bro, I just did something unforgivable again," Shen Nian said, eyeing the damp stain on Chen Dong’s back with a flicker of regret.

Should’ve made it wetter.

"You sshole!" Chen Dong laughed. "Couldn’t you just shake your hands dry?"

"Hey, you signing up for the sports day?" Shen Nian changed the subject.

A true bro knows tolerance—if I wipe my hands on your shirt, you just gotta deal with it.

"Nah, I suck at sports. You?"

"Same. Guess we’re soulmates."

"Just like how I also wiped my hands on your shirt," Chen Dong grinned, patting Shen Nian’s shoulder.

Shen Nian: "?"

Damn, Chen Dong, you sneaky bstard.

Class resumed, and the crowd around Xia Yanchun scattered, but the room stayed noisy.

As the duty monitor, Xia Yanchun stood up to quiet everyone, and the chatter slowly died down.

Shen Nian returned to his seat, bored, and beckoned Xia Yanchun with a finger.

Chunbao, I kinda miss you.

Xia Yanchun rolled her eyes in response.

Shen Nian wanted to hit her with a Sharingan glare, but alas, he lacked the genes.

The night sky was starless, much like Shen Nian’s motivation to study.

After class, he wandered the room before leaning on Xia Yanchun’s book pile, staring at a stray strand of hair swaying on her head.

So that’s what a cowlick looks like. Cute. Would she go berserk if I pulled it?

He’d always liked playing with her hair, but with so many eyes around, he suppressed the urge to avoid sparking rumors.

"Stop hovering over me," Xia Yanchun grumbled. Boys who didn’t shower after PE were walking biohazards.

"Wasn’t on purpose."

"You’re literally staring at me. How is that not on purpose?"

Sure, just like how I "accidentally" pinched you hard at lunch, or bit you that one time, or made you call me "big sis" as a kid or else I’d bully you.

Totally not on purpose. Forgive me?

Shen Nian scratched his head, awkward. "You’ve got zero emotional intelligence. Can’t even take a joke, huh, Haki-Chun?"

"Haki-Nian, your family needs an exorcist."

"Coming up with Haki-Nian? You’re sharper than I thought."

Nearby, Li Shiyan blinked her pretty eyes. Their chemistry’s so good.

Lowkey shipping them.

This is how shippers operate—ignoring official couples while obsessing over the rivals-to-lovers dynamic.

Like Shen Nian and Xia Yanchun.

Like Bald Mountain and the Bear Bros.

Like Genshin players vs. Ming Dynasty stans.

Like forum trolls vs. Xiaohongshu girls.

The weirder the ship, the better. Resisting the urge takes godly willpower.

Li Shiyan happily indulged in her delusions, feeling lighter. Today’s a good day.

But her peace was short-lived. Shen Nian, denied a reaction from Xia Yanchun, zeroed in on Li Shiyan instead.

She nearly jumped out of her skin, immediately pretending to solve math problems.

Shen Nian’s toxic. Better lay low.

Mess with me? Joke’s on you—I’ll just freeze you out.

"Math homework?" Shen Nian smirked.

"Mm-hmm," Li Shiyan nodded meekly, relieved he wasn’t here to torment her.

Then he watched her for five straight minutes.

"..."

Five minutes, and all she’d written was "Solution."

"37-Year-Old Glamorous Loli, how do you focus so hard yet produce nothing?"

Caught off guard, Li Shiyan stammered, "I—I changed my username!"

"I know," Shen Nian said dryly. "But does that erase the fact you once went by 37-Year-Old Glamorous Loli?"

If only we could rewrite the past—Xia Yanchun never blew up cow dung, I never played "See You Again," and we’d all have bright futures.

Li Shiyan’s face paled.

Am I doomed to be "37-Year-Old Glamorous Loli" forever? NOOO—

"So how’d you spend five minutes on a single ‘Solution’? Zero ideas?"

"I don’t get it..."

"Ah, the classic Heaven, Earth, Man, Harmony."

"Uh... what’s that mean?"

Li Shiyan’s cluelessness was almost endearing. Shen Nian almost felt bad.

Xia Yanchun delivered the kill: "He’s saying you lack timing, advantage, and momentum."

Shen Nian winked at her.

Bro gets me. Our nemesis synergy is unmatched. Reward: lemme see those legs later.

Li Shiyan: "......?"

Double-teamed. Is this the Moonlight Blood Tornado combo?

Wait, where’s my bestie? Turned into my archnemesis!

Tears (metaphorical) were shed.

Whyyy?!

A cheerful, studious girl quietly shattered into pieces.

Shen Nian left without a backward glance, abandoning the heartbroken Li Shiyan to cling to Xia Yanchun for comfort.

Math might as well be a kaiju. Beating it is as likely as barehanding Godzilla.

I’m never talking to math nerds again.

That physics-loving demon played me.

Shen Nian wandered to the front row, where Chen Qiuyu sat.

The literary girl radiated melancholy, her gloom so thick it could’ve been bottled.

"What’s wrong?"

"At the cliff’s edge, half a dream hangs by a thread. The wind shatters, the brush lies cold, tears stain the unfinished draft," Chen Qiuyu murmured, eyes vacant.

The hell is this word salad? Forced poeticism much? At least make it rhyme.

"Speak human."

"Standing at the edge of the mist-shrouded cliff, the dream I’ve pursued for half my life was just one small step away. The wind scattered my hopes, leaving me clutching a cold pen, tears soaking the unfinished manuscript."

?

Who asked you to translate ancient poetry?

Shen Nian flushed with embarrassment and turned to her deskmate. "What’s wrong with her?"

"She scored 67 on last week’s math quiz, but this time she only got 59. She’s been sulking since yesterday," the girl beside her whispered, covering a laugh.

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