Why Do People Eat with Their Mouths

An inexplicable fluster made Xia Yanchun forget to think. Held by Shen Nian, she remained motionless for a good while before beginning to gently push against his chest.

She slipped out effortlessly.

"Had enough hugging!"

"There will be a next time," Shen Nian said with a grin.

"What next time? Don't even think about it." Xia Yanchun slammed the door shut with a thud, leaving Shen Nian standing bewildered in the hallway.

Shen Nian scratched his chin, feeling as if his arms were still filled with the sweet, soft scent of Chun Bao.

He liked that Xia Yanchun didn't directly refuse him and then shut the door to go home, nor did she agree; instead, she wanted to reason with him.

Alright, alright, playing hard to get, huh? This bad girl has some tricks up her sleeve. Damn it, Chun Bao really got my heart racing.

The next day.

The sky was still gloomy and drizzling. Shen Nian only did an hour of push-ups and sit-ups in his room.

He didn't count how many he did; he just kept going until it was six o'clock.

He didn't know what his limit was either. He exercised simply because he had abundant energy and didn't want to expend it solely through studying. Working out on the side was fine, but he had no intention of turning into one of those muscle-bound freaks from TV.

By the way, is there a Guinness World Record for cumulative push-ups with no time limit?

Shen Nian felt he could do them all day.

If Captain America can elbow people all day, he could film a Guinness World Record attempt all day too.

After brushing his teeth and washing his face, Shen Nian put on clean shoes before heading out. As usual, he leaned against the wall and waited a while until Xia Yanchun's front door finally opened.

Xia Yanchun looked as energetic as if she could pilot a warship, her big eyes sparkling. Shen Nian guessed she had woken up a bit earlier than usual and finished her morning routine sooner, which was why the usual drowsiness of waking up had completely vanished.

Normally, Xia Yanchun was always a bit frazzled when she first stepped out.

Just like that perpetually sleepy-ass cat in the neighborhood.

Every day when she saw Shen Nian, the first thing she did was huff at him.

"You standing there like that... if I didn't know you, I wouldn't dare walk past you. I'd be afraid you'd suddenly go berserk and beat me up."

"Am I some kind of really, really bad person?" Shen Nian pointed at his own face. "Come on, sis, my charm level is pretty high, okay?"

"Just average."

"Donate your eyes if you don't need them."

There was no breakfast brought by Shen Nian today, since it was raining. Besides, Xia Yanchun wasn't the type of girl who would throw a tantrum over missing one meal.

When it came down to it, she didn't even have a suitable status to act spoiled with him. Who was Shen Nian to her, that she could act spoiled? If she did, he might just slap her, and she'd be stuck to the wall, unable to be peeled off.

Sweating bullets, Shen Nian really would hit a girl.

How could someone who really would hit girls get along with so many of them? It had been like this since they were kids. If most girls hadn't drifted away after elementary and middle school, Shen Nian would have no idea how many close childhood female friends he'd have.

But his sworn rival was definitely her alone.

Shen Nian hadn't hit other girls. Other girls would probably cry if he hit them once. She preferred to hit back, then go complain tearfully to her family. That way, Shen Nian not only got hit by her but would also get a beating from her parents when he got home.

Hehe.

Sister Chun is just too wicked.

Xia Yanchun nodded to herself, approving of her childhood self.

Little Xia Yanchun, you're the best (thumbs up).

A sworn rivalry isn't something formed overnight.

Sworn rivals are supposed to be at each other's throats.

An image of Shen Nian holding her suddenly popped into her mind unbidden. For just a fleeting moment, she blankly raised her eyes and shot a sidelong glance at Shen Nian.

Sworn rivals, sworn rivals, it should be pure hatred! Shen Nian, yours is a twisted kind of hatred, ya!

"Why are you looking at me?"

"Looking at an idiot."

"Folks, I just got called a dumb dog by an idiot."

"..."

You hug a dumb dog? When hugging, she's Chun Bao; when not hugging, she becomes a dumb dog!

They took the elevator down together. Xia Yanchun had brought a new umbrella. Because of the umbrella's design, if Shen Nian wanted to get close, he had to consider whether the water droplets gathered on the tips would splash and wet his clothes.

After buying two steamed buns, Xia Yanchun walked quickly ahead of Shen Nian, humming some unknown little tune happily.

But Shen Nian wasn't happy.

"Kids, I've stepped on a landmine."

When the hell are they going to replace the sidewalk tiles? When it rains, every single tile is a landmine. Step on one carelessly, and the filthy water underneath can spray three meters high.

My freshly changed clean shoes!

"Hahaha, heaven punishes every show-off." Xia Yanchun loved seeing Shen Nian get frustrated the most. Her umbrella even wobbled from her laughter.

"Don't laugh, you'll step on one too in a bit."

"No way."

In weather like this, Xia Yanchun always walked with her head down, unlike Shen Nian who wasn't careful at all. Served him right for getting hit now.

"Give me a couple of tissues, Chun Bao."

"Here."

Taking the tissues, Shen Nian wiped his shoes casually. His perfectly fine white shoes were now dirty and grimy, so bad even a dog would shake its head at them.

Arriving at school, Xia Yanchun's umbrella was placed with Shen Nian's, both hanging on the windowsill next to his seat, where the gathered droplets formed little puddles underneath.

It was so damp Shen Nian felt he was becoming a trendy guy (or a damp guy).

Just before morning self-study, Chen Dong and Ma Mingfan rushed in right on the dot.

Xia Yanchun's small umbrella had been folded particularly smoothly.

After returning the umbrella, Chen Dong plopped into his seat, then turned around to chat some nonsense with Shen Nian.

"Shen Nian, I've been thinking about a question all night."

"What is it?"

"Why do people eat with their mouths?"

Shen Nian: ?

"You're sitting with Ma Mingfan... wait, no, you two are at the same desk. What the hell kind of stupid question is that? Ask again and I'll beat you up."

Chen Dong wasn't having it now. "See, you can't explain it either."

Shen Nian: ...

So why do people eat with their mouths?

Why not with their noses?

Shen Nian smiled a relieved smile. He was a real idiot for actually considering that question for even a moment.

Are there no normal humans left?

For someone like Chen Dong, inviting a Haxi fairy to his house wouldn't help; you'd need to invite a Haxi god.

"Before you think about why people eat with their mouths, let me ask you: water conducts electricity, so why don't we just use the Yangtze River to transmit power?"

Chen Dong fell silent for five seconds, then said puzzledly, "The resistance is too high, losses would be huge, plus you can't form an effective circuit. Safety and environmental risks are too great. That's probably it. Using the Yangtze River to transmit power? Is that something a human could come up with?"

"So you do have a brain! With a brain like that, you can ask why people eat with their mouths?"

"So why do people eat with their mouths?"

Shen Nian stroked his chin. Right, why do people... Ah, damn it!

Shen Nian felt he really had a problem, actually thinking about this question twice.

He got so angry he didn't even know how many curses he muttered.

Chen Dong shook his head in disappointment. "Not even you can figure it out?"

"Why the hell don't you just Baidu it?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot all about that!" Chen Dong suddenly saw the light. There must be others in this world puzzled by the same question.

Shen Nian was scared to tears.

Right, right, the top-five academic achievers in the class who are stable in exams all ponder questions like this. I suggest everyone think more about such questions; maybe you can become a top student too.

Today was the morning Chinese reading session. Su Kexi came to patrol the class. Since the first period was Chinese class, Su Kexi, not wanting to make the trip back to the office, had settled early at the teacher's desk, propping her chin on her hand as she scrolled through her phone.

Shen Nian had gone to the restroom. On his way back, he saw Li Shiyan lazily leaning against the corridor railing, enjoying the breeze.

The rain was tapering off, leaving only countless tiny droplets carried by the wind, landing in Li Shiyan's hair.

"Li Shiyan."

"Hmm??" Li Shiyan recognized the voice instantly, but it was still strange to be called by Shen Nian.

"Let me ask you a question. Why do people eat with their mouths?"

"Huh??" Li Shiyan blinked, fiddling with her fingers, her mind racing into high gear.

Why... do people eat with their mouths?

Why is that...

Class began.

Li Shiyan's gaze drifted out the window, her mind elsewhere.

Why do people eat with their mouths, why...

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