The Scarlet Moon Secret Realm was perilous beyond measure, with everyone who entered busily searching for treasures.
Meanwhile, Chen Chang'an, along with Da Huang and Xiao Yao, was deeply engrossed in studying a piece of feces that had been dried out for who knows how many years.
"What kind of creature do you think dropped this?" Da Huang asked curiously.
"Not sure, but it's weird."
"This place was discovered hundreds of thousands of years ago, and its destruction likely happened even earlier."
"There shouldn’t be any living beings left here, so why is there still feces?"
"And after all this time, how is it only dried out?" Da Huang posed a soul-searching question.
Right, after so long, why hasn’t it completely decomposed?
"I know," Xiao Yao said excitedly.
"You know?" Chen Chang'an and Da Huang both turned to Xiao Yao in surprise.
"This... is no ordinary piece of feces."
Hearing this, Chen Chang'an and Da Huang rolled their eyes. That’s all you figured out?
"What?"
"Isn’t that right? This is the first time I’ve ever seen something like this in my life."
"It’s amazing."
For Xiao Yao, this was truly a once-in-a-lifetime discovery.
"Wait, didn’t you ever... poop before?" Chen Chang'an asked, puzzled.
"Why would I poop?" Xiao Yao shot back, equally confused.
That was a good question—one that left Chen Chang'an momentarily speechless.
"Da Huang, don’t you think this is strange?"
"Logically speaking, whether human or demon beast, once they reach a certain level of cultivation, their bodies no longer produce such waste."
"If this were left behind by an ordinary being, it couldn’t have lasted this long."
"Is it the secret realm’s doing, or is this piece of feces special?" Chen Chang'an asked seriously.
"That... requires some thought," Da Huang said helplessly.
Thought!
Chen Chang'an and Da Huang both fell into deep contemplation, pondering over a piece of feces.
"Poop... poop poop poop..."
Just as they were lost in thought, Xiao Yao suddenly gasped in shock.
"Huh? What’s wrong, Xiao Yao?" Chen Chang'an asked.
"The poop... it ran away!"
Huh?
Ran away?
"Holy crap!"
"The turd gained sentience!"
Da Huang also noticed the extraordinary feces scurrying away at high speed, leaving him utterly dumbfounded.
"What are you standing around for?"
"Chase it!"
And so, a bizarre scene unfolded in the Scarlet Moon Secret Realm—a piece of ancient, dried feces sliding across the ground, pursued closely by Chen Chang'an and his companions.
"This thing is fast!"
"Da Huang, do you think this could be an Ember in disguise?" Chen Chang'an asked while running.
"Possibly!"
"But... why is it running?" Da Huang wondered.
"We’ll know once we catch it."
Chen Chang'an smirked, then flashed forward, closing in on the fleeing feces.
"Earthbound Prison!"
With a hand seal, Chen Chang'an conjured a barrier, trapping the feces inside.
"Think you can outrun me, you little turd?"
"Da Huang, hold it down. Let’s see if it tries to escape now."
Huh?
Hold it down?
Da Huang shook his head vigorously. "Stepping on poop is your job, not mine."
"You’ve literally eaten it before, why the hesitation now?" Chen Chang'an scoffed.
"Chen Chang'an, I’m telling you one more time—I don’t eat poop. Never have."
"But don’t dogs love eating poop?"
"I’ve always heard the saying, ‘A dog can’t stop eating poop.’"
"Da Huang, are you sick?" Xiao Yao asked with genuine concern.
"You’re the sick one!"
"Your whole family’s sick!"
"You’re the one who can’t stop eating poop!"
"I’ll bite you to death, I swear!" Da Huang snarled, baring his teeth.
Xiao Yao looked utterly innocent. Hadn’t he just been trying to show concern?
"Enough messing around. Let’s study this poop."
Chen Chang'an stared at the feces struggling against the barrier, his curiosity piqued.
If this thing really was an Ember in disguise, then this Ember had some seriously twisted tastes.
But if Embers could shapeshift into anything, why hadn’t it transformed while fleeing?
Or maybe... this wasn’t an Ember at all?
"It stood up!"
"Holy hell, it actually stood up!"
The piece of feces suddenly rose upright, leaving Da Huang awestruck. The Primordial Immortal Realm never failed to amaze—even poop could stand now.
"It looks like... it’s trying to say something?" Xiao Yao muttered, frowning.
Say something?
If this turd started talking, that would be even more ridiculous.
Fortunately, it didn’t actually speak—apparently, it lacked that ability.
"Begging for mercy?"
"Is it begging for mercy?"
Upon closer inspection, Chen Chang'an and the others noticed the feces seemed to be gesturing in a pleading manner.
It was a bizarre yet unmistakable impression.
"You want me to let you go?"
"Then tell me first—what are you?" Chen Chang'an tested.
The feces seemed to hesitate, as if struggling to respond.
"Holy crap!"
"What’s it doing now?"
"Writing?"
"Is it writing?"
Under their watchful eyes, the feces swayed back and forth, forming characters on the ground.
"Da Huang, do Embers have intelligence? Can they write?" Chen Chang'an asked.
"They might have some intelligence, but not much. They’re just energy entities. As for writing..."
"I have no idea."
"Embers only appear after a world’s destruction. Since the world is gone, they wouldn’t have had a chance to learn such things," Da Huang analyzed.
If that were the case, then this turd probably wasn’t an Ember. Could it really just be... sentient poop? What kind of joke was this?
"Don’t kill me, I’m scared."
"I’m actually human?"
"I can take you to treasures—lots and lots of treasures."
"Just spare me."
Reading the words on the ground, Chen Chang'an and the others were stunned.
You’re human?
Have you looked at yourself? What part of you looks human? Are you insulting us?
"Da Huang, eat it."
"This bastard’s mocking us," Chen Chang'an fumed.
"Why don’t you eat it?"
"It’s dried-up poop—it’d get stuck in my throat," Da Huang retorted, rolling his eyes.
"I really am human, I swear."
"I don’t know why I ended up like this."
"Don’t kill me, don’t eat me. I’m not tasty, really."
Chen Chang'an watched as the turd spun frantically, scribbling these words on the ground.
Really human?
I don’t buy it.
"Fine, I’ll let you out."
"But since you know about treasures, you’re taking us there."
"However, I’m tying you up so you don’t run away again."
Chen Chang'an grinned mischievously, pulling out a rope from his spatial ring before looping it around the lump of feces.
"Well, I've seen people walk their dogs, but this is the first damn time I've seen someone walk their shit."
d intelligence to keep the plot moving, and sometimes even the protagonists are forced into absurdly dumb decisions. Why does the A-list celebrity heroine in urban romance novels ditch the top-tier movie star and become a lovestruck fool for a pockmarked male lead? Why do the leads in historical tragedy novels keep dancing between love and death, only for the blind healer to end up suffering the most? And Gu Wei never expected that after finally landing a villain role to stir up trouble, she’d pick the wrong gender! No choice now—she’ll just have to crush the protagonists as a girl!
ions, keeping it grounded and realistic】 After quitting his job, office worker Su Yang accidentally binds with the "Enjoy Life System." As the name suggests, simply by indulging in life's pleasures, he can earn random rewards from the system—no need to spend money on beautiful women or grovel before anyone. Just enjoy, and the money follows, making it all about effortless fun. The system comes with a scanning feature, allowing him to establish a favorability bond with women rated 85 points or above. Every 20-point increase in favorability unlocks additional rewards. After suffering through over twenty years of hardship, Su Yang trembles with excitement, his dull eyes suddenly gleaming with newfound hope. "Enjoy life? How hard could that be?"
he colors of other people’s emotions. Light red meant anxiety. Gray meant exhaustion. Orange meant excitement. Yellow... meant repression. At the same time, he could gain unlimited control over one of those colors. Pale cyan: relaxation. Using this ability, he started offering “two-yuan hugs,” spending an afternoon exchanging emotional-color experiences with others. Then came his final female customer of the day— a girl whose emotional color was pure black... —— A week later, Xu Chuan had become skilled at using pale cyan—Relaxation—treating it like a bottle of menthol balm whenever he needed it. That was when he discovered he had unlocked another unlimited emotional color: Purple, the color of fear. So these emotional colors refresh every week? Fine, I take it back—I’ll never call you useless again... —— Much later, after Xu Chuan had accumulated countless emotional abilities, one night, he suddenly found himself inside someone else’s dream. There, he could use the emotional colors he possessed to paint. And in her dream, he painted her a shower of pink shooting stars, spreading across the depths of the night sky...
ut it can buy an entire year of absolutely perfect training results! Su Yu stared at his empty wallet and decisively opened up various online loan platforms. “Borrow a thousand bucks! Recharge my vitality!” Boom! His vitality broke a hundred points, shattering the limits of the human body! “Borrow ten thousand bucks! Recharge my combat skills!” Boom! A basic punching technique so common it was everywhere instantly maxed out, revealing the ultimate assassination technique of Five Elements Unity—Inner Force! When a rich kid hired assassins for a midnight ambush, aiming to break both of his legs, they instead ran headfirst into a monster—a human-shaped tyrannosaur, brimming with dragon-like vitality. With just two fingers, Su Yu snapped a steel staff reinforced with alloy. Staring at the killer’s stash of stolen cash—a staggering quarter-million dollars—he showed a corporate-sincere smile: “Thanks for the pre-exam gift pack, Mr. Zhao! I’m gonna go re-invest this!” Three days later, at the National Martial Arts College Entrance Exam, while everyone else struggled just to reach the passing line, Su Yu threw a single punch—and more than a thousand vitality points literally detonated the entire arena!
