The Scarlet Moon Secret Realm was perilous beyond measure, with everyone who entered busily searching for treasures.
Meanwhile, Chen Chang'an, along with Da Huang and Xiao Yao, was deeply engrossed in studying a piece of feces that had been dried out for who knows how many years.
"What kind of creature do you think dropped this?" Da Huang asked curiously.
"Not sure, but it's weird."
"This place was discovered hundreds of thousands of years ago, and its destruction likely happened even earlier."
"There shouldn’t be any living beings left here, so why is there still feces?"
"And after all this time, how is it only dried out?" Da Huang posed a soul-searching question.
Right, after so long, why hasn’t it completely decomposed?
"I know," Xiao Yao said excitedly.
"You know?" Chen Chang'an and Da Huang both turned to Xiao Yao in surprise.
"This... is no ordinary piece of feces."
Hearing this, Chen Chang'an and Da Huang rolled their eyes. That’s all you figured out?
"What?"
"Isn’t that right? This is the first time I’ve ever seen something like this in my life."
"It’s amazing."
For Xiao Yao, this was truly a once-in-a-lifetime discovery.
"Wait, didn’t you ever... poop before?" Chen Chang'an asked, puzzled.
"Why would I poop?" Xiao Yao shot back, equally confused.
That was a good question—one that left Chen Chang'an momentarily speechless.
"Da Huang, don’t you think this is strange?"
"Logically speaking, whether human or demon beast, once they reach a certain level of cultivation, their bodies no longer produce such waste."
"If this were left behind by an ordinary being, it couldn’t have lasted this long."
"Is it the secret realm’s doing, or is this piece of feces special?" Chen Chang'an asked seriously.
"That... requires some thought," Da Huang said helplessly.
Thought!
Chen Chang'an and Da Huang both fell into deep contemplation, pondering over a piece of feces.
"Poop... poop poop poop..."
Just as they were lost in thought, Xiao Yao suddenly gasped in shock.
"Huh? What’s wrong, Xiao Yao?" Chen Chang'an asked.
"The poop... it ran away!"
Huh?
Ran away?
"Holy crap!"
"The turd gained sentience!"
Da Huang also noticed the extraordinary feces scurrying away at high speed, leaving him utterly dumbfounded.
"What are you standing around for?"
"Chase it!"
And so, a bizarre scene unfolded in the Scarlet Moon Secret Realm—a piece of ancient, dried feces sliding across the ground, pursued closely by Chen Chang'an and his companions.
"This thing is fast!"
"Da Huang, do you think this could be an Ember in disguise?" Chen Chang'an asked while running.
"Possibly!"
"But... why is it running?" Da Huang wondered.
"We’ll know once we catch it."
Chen Chang'an smirked, then flashed forward, closing in on the fleeing feces.
"Earthbound Prison!"
With a hand seal, Chen Chang'an conjured a barrier, trapping the feces inside.
"Think you can outrun me, you little turd?"
"Da Huang, hold it down. Let’s see if it tries to escape now."
Huh?
Hold it down?
Da Huang shook his head vigorously. "Stepping on poop is your job, not mine."
"You’ve literally eaten it before, why the hesitation now?" Chen Chang'an scoffed.
"Chen Chang'an, I’m telling you one more time—I don’t eat poop. Never have."
"But don’t dogs love eating poop?"
"I’ve always heard the saying, ‘A dog can’t stop eating poop.’"
"Da Huang, are you sick?" Xiao Yao asked with genuine concern.
"You’re the sick one!"
"Your whole family’s sick!"
"You’re the one who can’t stop eating poop!"
"I’ll bite you to death, I swear!" Da Huang snarled, baring his teeth.
Xiao Yao looked utterly innocent. Hadn’t he just been trying to show concern?
"Enough messing around. Let’s study this poop."
Chen Chang'an stared at the feces struggling against the barrier, his curiosity piqued.
If this thing really was an Ember in disguise, then this Ember had some seriously twisted tastes.
But if Embers could shapeshift into anything, why hadn’t it transformed while fleeing?
Or maybe... this wasn’t an Ember at all?
"It stood up!"
"Holy hell, it actually stood up!"
The piece of feces suddenly rose upright, leaving Da Huang awestruck. The Primordial Immortal Realm never failed to amaze—even poop could stand now.
"It looks like... it’s trying to say something?" Xiao Yao muttered, frowning.
Say something?
If this turd started talking, that would be even more ridiculous.
Fortunately, it didn’t actually speak—apparently, it lacked that ability.
"Begging for mercy?"
"Is it begging for mercy?"
Upon closer inspection, Chen Chang'an and the others noticed the feces seemed to be gesturing in a pleading manner.
It was a bizarre yet unmistakable impression.
"You want me to let you go?"
"Then tell me first—what are you?" Chen Chang'an tested.
The feces seemed to hesitate, as if struggling to respond.
"Holy crap!"
"What’s it doing now?"
"Writing?"
"Is it writing?"
Under their watchful eyes, the feces swayed back and forth, forming characters on the ground.
"Da Huang, do Embers have intelligence? Can they write?" Chen Chang'an asked.
"They might have some intelligence, but not much. They’re just energy entities. As for writing..."
"I have no idea."
"Embers only appear after a world’s destruction. Since the world is gone, they wouldn’t have had a chance to learn such things," Da Huang analyzed.
If that were the case, then this turd probably wasn’t an Ember. Could it really just be... sentient poop? What kind of joke was this?
"Don’t kill me, I’m scared."
"I’m actually human?"
"I can take you to treasures—lots and lots of treasures."
"Just spare me."
Reading the words on the ground, Chen Chang'an and the others were stunned.
You’re human?
Have you looked at yourself? What part of you looks human? Are you insulting us?
"Da Huang, eat it."
"This bastard’s mocking us," Chen Chang'an fumed.
"Why don’t you eat it?"
"It’s dried-up poop—it’d get stuck in my throat," Da Huang retorted, rolling his eyes.
"I really am human, I swear."
"I don’t know why I ended up like this."
"Don’t kill me, don’t eat me. I’m not tasty, really."
Chen Chang'an watched as the turd spun frantically, scribbling these words on the ground.
Really human?
I don’t buy it.
"Fine, I’ll let you out."
"But since you know about treasures, you’re taking us there."
"However, I’m tying you up so you don’t run away again."
Chen Chang'an grinned mischievously, pulling out a rope from his spatial ring before looping it around the lump of feces.
"Well, I've seen people walk their dogs, but this is the first damn time I've seen someone walk their shit."