The Scarlet Moon Secret Realm was perilous beyond measure, with everyone who entered busily searching for treasures.
Meanwhile, Chen Chang'an, along with Da Huang and Xiao Yao, was deeply engrossed in studying a piece of feces that had been dried out for who knows how many years.
"What kind of creature do you think dropped this?" Da Huang asked curiously.
"Not sure, but it's weird."
"This place was discovered hundreds of thousands of years ago, and its destruction likely happened even earlier."
"There shouldn’t be any living beings left here, so why is there still feces?"
"And after all this time, how is it only dried out?" Da Huang posed a soul-searching question.
Right, after so long, why hasn’t it completely decomposed?
"I know," Xiao Yao said excitedly.
"You know?" Chen Chang'an and Da Huang both turned to Xiao Yao in surprise.
"This... is no ordinary piece of feces."
Hearing this, Chen Chang'an and Da Huang rolled their eyes. That’s all you figured out?
"What?"
"Isn’t that right? This is the first time I’ve ever seen something like this in my life."
"It’s amazing."
For Xiao Yao, this was truly a once-in-a-lifetime discovery.
"Wait, didn’t you ever... poop before?" Chen Chang'an asked, puzzled.
"Why would I poop?" Xiao Yao shot back, equally confused.
That was a good question—one that left Chen Chang'an momentarily speechless.
"Da Huang, don’t you think this is strange?"
"Logically speaking, whether human or demon beast, once they reach a certain level of cultivation, their bodies no longer produce such waste."
"If this were left behind by an ordinary being, it couldn’t have lasted this long."
"Is it the secret realm’s doing, or is this piece of feces special?" Chen Chang'an asked seriously.
"That... requires some thought," Da Huang said helplessly.
Thought!
Chen Chang'an and Da Huang both fell into deep contemplation, pondering over a piece of feces.
"Poop... poop poop poop..."
Just as they were lost in thought, Xiao Yao suddenly gasped in shock.
"Huh? What’s wrong, Xiao Yao?" Chen Chang'an asked.
"The poop... it ran away!"
Huh?
Ran away?
"Holy crap!"
"The turd gained sentience!"
Da Huang also noticed the extraordinary feces scurrying away at high speed, leaving him utterly dumbfounded.
"What are you standing around for?"
"Chase it!"
And so, a bizarre scene unfolded in the Scarlet Moon Secret Realm—a piece of ancient, dried feces sliding across the ground, pursued closely by Chen Chang'an and his companions.
"This thing is fast!"
"Da Huang, do you think this could be an Ember in disguise?" Chen Chang'an asked while running.
"Possibly!"
"But... why is it running?" Da Huang wondered.
"We’ll know once we catch it."
Chen Chang'an smirked, then flashed forward, closing in on the fleeing feces.
"Earthbound Prison!"
With a hand seal, Chen Chang'an conjured a barrier, trapping the feces inside.
"Think you can outrun me, you little turd?"
"Da Huang, hold it down. Let’s see if it tries to escape now."
Huh?
Hold it down?
Da Huang shook his head vigorously. "Stepping on poop is your job, not mine."
"You’ve literally eaten it before, why the hesitation now?" Chen Chang'an scoffed.
"Chen Chang'an, I’m telling you one more time—I don’t eat poop. Never have."
"But don’t dogs love eating poop?"
"I’ve always heard the saying, ‘A dog can’t stop eating poop.’"
"Da Huang, are you sick?" Xiao Yao asked with genuine concern.
"You’re the sick one!"
"Your whole family’s sick!"
"You’re the one who can’t stop eating poop!"
"I’ll bite you to death, I swear!" Da Huang snarled, baring his teeth.
Xiao Yao looked utterly innocent. Hadn’t he just been trying to show concern?
"Enough messing around. Let’s study this poop."
Chen Chang'an stared at the feces struggling against the barrier, his curiosity piqued.
If this thing really was an Ember in disguise, then this Ember had some seriously twisted tastes.
But if Embers could shapeshift into anything, why hadn’t it transformed while fleeing?
Or maybe... this wasn’t an Ember at all?
"It stood up!"
"Holy hell, it actually stood up!"
The piece of feces suddenly rose upright, leaving Da Huang awestruck. The Primordial Immortal Realm never failed to amaze—even poop could stand now.
"It looks like... it’s trying to say something?" Xiao Yao muttered, frowning.
Say something?
If this turd started talking, that would be even more ridiculous.
Fortunately, it didn’t actually speak—apparently, it lacked that ability.
"Begging for mercy?"
"Is it begging for mercy?"
Upon closer inspection, Chen Chang'an and the others noticed the feces seemed to be gesturing in a pleading manner.
It was a bizarre yet unmistakable impression.
"You want me to let you go?"
"Then tell me first—what are you?" Chen Chang'an tested.
The feces seemed to hesitate, as if struggling to respond.
"Holy crap!"
"What’s it doing now?"
"Writing?"
"Is it writing?"
Under their watchful eyes, the feces swayed back and forth, forming characters on the ground.
"Da Huang, do Embers have intelligence? Can they write?" Chen Chang'an asked.
"They might have some intelligence, but not much. They’re just energy entities. As for writing..."
"I have no idea."
"Embers only appear after a world’s destruction. Since the world is gone, they wouldn’t have had a chance to learn such things," Da Huang analyzed.
If that were the case, then this turd probably wasn’t an Ember. Could it really just be... sentient poop? What kind of joke was this?
"Don’t kill me, I’m scared."
"I’m actually human?"
"I can take you to treasures—lots and lots of treasures."
"Just spare me."
Reading the words on the ground, Chen Chang'an and the others were stunned.
You’re human?
Have you looked at yourself? What part of you looks human? Are you insulting us?
"Da Huang, eat it."
"This bastard’s mocking us," Chen Chang'an fumed.
"Why don’t you eat it?"
"It’s dried-up poop—it’d get stuck in my throat," Da Huang retorted, rolling his eyes.
"I really am human, I swear."
"I don’t know why I ended up like this."
"Don’t kill me, don’t eat me. I’m not tasty, really."
Chen Chang'an watched as the turd spun frantically, scribbling these words on the ground.
Really human?
I don’t buy it.
"Fine, I’ll let you out."
"But since you know about treasures, you’re taking us there."
"However, I’m tying you up so you don’t run away again."
Chen Chang'an grinned mischievously, pulling out a rope from his spatial ring before looping it around the lump of feces.
"Well, I've seen people walk their dogs, but this is the first damn time I've seen someone walk their shit."
. As long as he maintains the villain image and follows the plot to the grand finale, he can obtain generous rewards and return to the real world. So Gu Chen'an entered the role and began to act as a scumbag villain, but who would have expected that the female leads could hear his inner thoughts. Miss Su from the Su family was shocked: "I originally thought Gu Chen'an was a scumbag, but I didn't expect he turned out to be a gentleman! What? You said I have to call off the engagement? I definitely won't, I'll piss you off!" Bai Yuan Tian was dumbfounded: "Young Master Gu is usually unreasonable and a complete brat, but he actually calls me little sweetie in his heart? What, Young Master Gu even said he likes me?" As the female leads' images collapsed more and more, the plot also collapsed with it. Gu Chen'an looked at all this chaos. "Ladies, don't aggro me, if you keep this up the male lead really will stab me, I still need to survive to the grand finale!"
transmigrates into the world as the sect master of the Heavenly Yan Sect, which is on the verge of being wiped out. He binds a system that grants him cultivation power based on the number of disciples he has: for each disciple, he automatically gains a year's worth of cultivation every single day! Take one disciple: every day he gains 1 year of cultivation power. While others struggle through a year of bitter training, he gets the same just by sleeping through a single night. Take ten disciples: every day he gains 10 years of cultivation power. Foundation Establishment, Core Formation, Nascent Soul—he breezes through all bottlenecks without lifting a finger. Take one hundred disciples: every day he gains 100 years of cultivation power. Even a Soul Transformation Venerable before him can’t survive a single blow. Take ten thousand disciples: every day he gains 10,000 years of cultivation power! With a wave of his hand, he topples empires. With a single step, he crushes the sacred grounds of the universe. ... While others fight tooth and nail for secret techniques, Lin Yan casually hands out Nascent Soul-level cultivation manuals as beginner textbooks. While others strain to find talented recruits, Lin Yan opens his doors to anyone—so long as they’re human. In just three short years, the Heavenly Yan Sect went from a backwater sect made up of three crumbling huts to a sacred land that every cultivator under heaven would kill to enter. ... One day, otherworldly demon gods invade, with a million demon soldiers pressing down upon the realm. Lin Yan, yawning, rises from his lounge chair and glances at the system panel: [Current Disciples: 1.28 million] [Daily Cultivation Increase: 1.28 million years] He waves his hand casually, and the countless demon soldiers are reduced to ashes in an instant. “So noisy… interrupting my fishing.”
tions: attribute allocation, analysis, proficiency, and simulation. Specializing in mechanical alchemy, from crafting sorcerous battle armor to handcrafting mechanical maidens, his mechanical legion conquers endless realms... Relying on his wits, he begins with a student-teacher romance, wins over a female director, enslaves a female assassin and a underworld queen, becoming the husband of a Grand Duchess... He enslaves the Goddess of Magic from the divine realm, developing his power simultaneously in both the Wizard World and the Realm of Gods...
young master of the Shen family—a figure of immense power and wealth beyond measure—and awakened the "Destined Ultimate Villain System"! His starting scenario? Running into his icy fiancée who shows up with a mountain-descending divine doctor to break off their engagement. The divine doctor arrogantly taunts: "What does your Shen family have besides a bit of stinking money? You're not even worthy of tying Qingxue's shoelaces!" Shen Fei just smiled. He completely defied the usual script: "Fine, I agree to break off the engagement. Also, notify the finance department to withdraw all investments from the Su family." Minutes later, with its capital chain severed, the Su Group teetered on the brink of bankruptcy! The once aloof and proud ice queen CEO was thrown into utter panic. That very night, she went to Shen Fei's villa, casting aside all dignity to beg and plead desperately... From then on, in this world teeming with Sons of Destiny, Shen Fei embarked on a path of extreme dimensional suppression! A mountain-descending divine doctor? Peerless medical skills? Shen Fei: "Reporting you for practicing medicine without a license! I'll gladly take your ancient medicinal cauldron and twin sister assassins." The Crooked-Smiling Dragon King? Commanding a hundred thousand soldiers with a single order? Shen Fei: "Illegal assembly and suspected treason! Let a fleet of attack helicopters sanitize the area and teach you what the state apparatus really means!" A reborn tycoon? Knows all the golden opportunities of the next decade? Shen Fei: "A trillion in capital to reverse and pump the stock market, making you blow your margin and jump on the very first day of your rebirth!" What Chosen Ones? What bearers of Heavenly Fortune? In Shen Fei's eyes, they're all just chives (i.e., suckers/marks) waiting to be harvested! Shen Fei: "Sorry, but as the Destined Ultimate Villain, I don't play by the rules of honor. I only play the game of dimensional suppression."
