According to Ye Cheng's expectations, after being kissed by him, the student council president should have angrily slapped him and declared that he would pay for this. That's how it always plays out in TV dramas—it couldn't possibly end with the president outright killing him on the spot, right?
Gulp.
Ye Cheng swallowed hard, shrinking back timidly—one small step, then another, and another, and another…
"Darling, do you think you’ll die today?" Dongfang Zhixia's "gentle" voice sent a shiver down his spine. His legs turned to jelly, and he dropped to his knees, ready to play the victim. He even had his pitiful lines prepared:
Waaah, President, all the blame is on you—ahem, I mean, on me! I’m just an ordinary guy who doesn’t understand all the complicated games you rich girls play!
I’m just a simple country boy, and I really thought you meant for me to kiss you! I—
Before he could fully launch into his act, Dongfang Zhixia saw through his trembling legs and cut him off mid-performance. She pressed a hand against his chest, pushing harder and harder—
BANG!
Ye Cheng slammed into the cafeteria serving window, with Dongfang Zhixia practically pinning him down, half her body pressing against him.
"Darling, I suggest you answer my question properly. Otherwise… something unfortunate might happen. Don’t you think?"
Her face was still adorned with that "gentle" smile, but Ye Cheng nodded frantically, signaling he got the message.
Gulp.
"I-I don’t think I’ll die young… at least not today," he stammered.
Dongfang Zhixia’s grin grew even more "kind," though to Ye Cheng, it looked more terrifying—like the grin of a Japanese hannya demon.
"Darling, care to explain why you think you’ll live? Because from where I’m standing, you seem to have a death wish."
Thump-thump-thump…
Ye Cheng’s heart pounded so hard it felt like it might leap straight onto the "gentle" president’s face. This woman is serious!
His survival instincts kicked in. If he didn’t answer carefully, he might actually die here.
"W-well, you know what they say—good people die young, but troublemakers live forever. I figure I’ve got plenty of years left to… uh, entertain you, President! How about I go buy some candles and a little whip? I’ll skip going home tonight, and you can take your frustrations out on me!"
His words were so absurd they barely sounded human. Every word made sense individually, but strung together, they were incomprehensible.
Dongfang Zhixia stared at him, utterly bewildered. Candles? Whip? Take frustrations out on him? What the hell is he talking about?!
Her mind involuntarily conjured up some… unmentionable images, especially after what she’d witnessed through her binoculars last night in the boys' dorm. Combined with Ye Cheng’s nonsense, her brain replayed the scene in vivid detail.
Thump. Thump.
Now it was her heart racing. Her usual icy glare wavered, and a faint blush crept across her flawless face before vanishing just as quickly.
Suppressing all signs of fluster, she slid her hand down from his chest to his waist—then pinched hard.
"Darling, do you really think that excuse will save you?"
Her smile remained "gentle," but her voice had taken on a dangerous edge.
Ye Cheng played dumb, feigning innocence while expertly dodging the question.
"Well, I know my dear President isn’t some kind of demon. She’s kind-hearted, wise, all-powerful, breathtakingly beautiful… the epitome of grace! She’d never harm a fellow student—let alone her beloved!"
On the surface, it was praise. In reality, it was buttering her up while sneakily absolving himself of blame.
Ye Cheng’s silver tongue was in a league of its own—so far beyond human that it bordered on divine.
Dongfang Zhixia was rendered speechless. She wanted to slap him silly, but… that would make her look like the unreasonable one, tarnishing her dignity.
After all, she was the one who told him to kiss her—without specifying where. Misunderstandings happened.
Despite still being a student, Dongfang Zhixia had years of experience managing the Dongfang family’s affairs. She knew better than anyone that workplace "errors" like this were frustrating but unavoidable.
This mess was her fault for not being clear.
She’d swallow this loss—but what about her first kiss?!
"Darling," she said, shifting gears, "since you stole my first kiss, how do you plan to make it up to me?" Dwelling on it only made her angrier, so she cut her losses.
Ye Cheng blinked.
"First kiss? What a coincidence—mine too! Let’s call it even, no debts between us—I MEAN, I’ll spend the rest of my life atoning for this sin and repaying you, President!"
He backpedaled at lightning speed—his kidney was this close to being crushed under Dongfang Zhixia’s twisting grip.
That said, the texture was unexpectedly nice.
Her hands-on approach also confirmed something: last night’s… observations were accurate.
This guy’s physique was real.
Even through his uniform, she could feel the well-defined ridges of his "shark muscles" along his ribs—soft when relaxed, but flexing under pressure with enough strength to push her fingers back.
No tricks, just raw stats.
Absurd stats.
And now, against her will, her brain replayed last night’s… peeping session.
Dongfang Zhixia’s ears, hidden beneath her flowing hair, turned slightly red and grew warm.
This idiot, how does he manage to keep such a good figure when all he does is eat all day?
Splat!
Then, the dear student council president thought of her little secretary—another bottomless pit who was either eating or on her way to eat, yet her body was entirely composed of "useless fat." Meanwhile, Ye Cheng...
Dongfang Zhixia fell silent.
Splat!
Frustrated, Dongfang Zhixia stomped hard on Ye Cheng’s foot, putting all her strength into it—once, twice, thrice.
Ye Cheng: "..."
Dongfang Zhixia snorted coldly, about to drag Ye Cheng somewhere private to settle the score, when she suddenly remembered there was still the matter of a certain mafia princess to deal with.
Originally, she had only meant to provoke Shen Qinghan, but Dongfang Zhixia had taken things too far and ended up infuriating herself instead. And Ye Cheng? He was like a piece of sticky candy, utterly unfazed by ordinary punishments.
Thinking back, Dongfang Zhixia recalled that the only reason she’d let that idiot kiss her earlier was to spite Shen Qinghan.
Her chest rose and fell as she slowly calmed herself, exhaling sharply before her gaze turned icy.
"Now, I’ll give you one more chance—kiss me on the cheek!"
She emphasized the word "cheek" sharply. Ye Cheng shook his head like a rattle drum, every fiber of his being screaming refusal.
"President, how about I buy you a couple more candles instead? Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to scream loud enough—you’ll definitely enjoy it!"
Ye Cheng said this with absolute seriousness.
Dongfang Zhixia: "..."
Sometimes, she genuinely wondered if Ye Cheng was even human.
No human should be capable of saying such things—at least, they shouldn’t be. Why was it that Ye Cheng could spout the most shameless, outrageous words without a hint of embarrassment, all while keeping a straight face?
"Darling, I’ll say this one last time—kiss me. And hug me while you’re at it. Now. Immediately."
The smile on Dongfang Zhixia’s face grew increasingly dangerous, flickering like a mirage. Ye Cheng could almost swear he saw a terrifying oni with a grotesque hannya mask looming behind her, grinning at him.
Oh no. This feels like a heart attack.
Ye Cheng wasn’t stupid. He knew the president was only keeping her cool and letting him take liberties to spite Shen Qinghan, despite having suffered such a loss.
But right now, he had no choice. If he refused, he’d be minced meat no matter where he ran. If he obeyed, at least he’d keep his right to lie.
Later, he could rely on his absurd antics and the "art of language" to salvage the situation—maybe even win back the black-hearted mafia princess.
He didn’t dare glance at Shen Qinghan, afraid one look would shatter his resolve. Steeling himself, he pulled Dongfang Zhixia into an embrace, took a deep breath, and pressed a feather-light kiss to her soft cheek.
The moment his lips touched her skin, Dongfang Zhixia felt something flutter in her chest—light, fleeting, yet unforgettable.
What… was that just now?
It felt like something strange had brushed past her, vanishing before she could grasp it, slipping through her fingers like the wind.
No. She needed to do it again. What was that?
An inexplicable urge rose in Dongfang Zhixia’s heart, a voice in her mind whispering—do it again.
ap a wealthy young lady? Or else I'll be eliminated by the system? Ye Feng, who awakened the Kidnapper System, originally wanted to live a peaceful life but never imagined he would become a kidnapper of young women. However, after some time, he discovered that all the girls the system ordered him to kidnap were far from ordinary. "Big brother Ye Feng~ You've kidnapped my heart, and now you're not allowed to leave me ever again~" "Ye Feng~ You kidnapped me back then, now it's my turn to capture you♡" "Little Feng, you're mine! You can only be mine!" "Ye Feng, none of them deserve you. Only I love you the most♡" ... This is madness, they've all gone mad! Wait, what? Why are all the girls I kidnapped yanderes?!
e bizarre and supernatural had descended. The previous emperor was a thoroughgoing tyrant; no longer satisfied with human women, he had set his sights on a stunningly beautiful supernatural entity. He met his end in his bedchamber, drained of all his vital essence. As the legitimate eldest son and crown prince, Wang Hao was thus hastily enthroned, becoming the young emperor of the Great Zhou Dynasty. No sooner had he awakened the "Imperial Sign-In Intelligence System" than he was assassinated by a Son of Destiny—a classic villain's opening. The Great Zhou, ravaged by the former emperor's excesses, was in national decline. The great families within its borders harbored their own treacherous schemes, martial sects began to defy the imperial court's decrees, and border armies, their pay and provisions in arrears, grumbled incessantly against the central government. Fortunately, the central capital was still held secure by the half-million Imperial Guards and fifty thousand Imperial Forest Army who obeyed the court's orders, along with the royal family's hidden reserves of power, barely managing to suppress the realm. As the Great Zhou's finances worsened and supernatural activities grew ever more frequent, the court sat atop a volcano. Ambitious plotters everywhere dreamed of overthrowing the dynasty, and even some reclusive ancient powers emerged, attempting to sway the tides of the world. At the first grand court assembly, the civil and military officials nearly came to blows, fighting tooth and nail over the allocation of fifty million taels of silver from the summer tax revenues. The spectacle opened Wang Hao's eyes—the Great Zhou's bureaucracy was not only corrupt but also martially proficient, a cabinet of all-rounders. Some officials even had the audacity to suggest the emperor release funds from the imperial privy purse to address the emergency. Wang Hao suddenly felt weary. Let it all burn.
young master of the Shen family—a figure of immense power and wealth beyond measure—and awakened the "Destined Ultimate Villain System"! His starting scenario? Running into his icy fiancée who shows up with a mountain-descending divine doctor to break off their engagement. The divine doctor arrogantly taunts: "What does your Shen family have besides a bit of stinking money? You're not even worthy of tying Qingxue's shoelaces!" Shen Fei just smiled. He completely defied the usual script: "Fine, I agree to break off the engagement. Also, notify the finance department to withdraw all investments from the Su family." Minutes later, with its capital chain severed, the Su Group teetered on the brink of bankruptcy! The once aloof and proud ice queen CEO was thrown into utter panic. That very night, she went to Shen Fei's villa, casting aside all dignity to beg and plead desperately... From then on, in this world teeming with Sons of Destiny, Shen Fei embarked on a path of extreme dimensional suppression! A mountain-descending divine doctor? Peerless medical skills? Shen Fei: "Reporting you for practicing medicine without a license! I'll gladly take your ancient medicinal cauldron and twin sister assassins." The Crooked-Smiling Dragon King? Commanding a hundred thousand soldiers with a single order? Shen Fei: "Illegal assembly and suspected treason! Let a fleet of attack helicopters sanitize the area and teach you what the state apparatus really means!" A reborn tycoon? Knows all the golden opportunities of the next decade? Shen Fei: "A trillion in capital to reverse and pump the stock market, making you blow your margin and jump on the very first day of your rebirth!" What Chosen Ones? What bearers of Heavenly Fortune? In Shen Fei's eyes, they're all just chives (i.e., suckers/marks) waiting to be harvested! Shen Fei: "Sorry, but as the Destined Ultimate Villain, I don't play by the rules of honor. I only play the game of dimensional suppression."
and couldn't return to the real world. Finally, I gave up and decided to go with the flow, only to discover that writing a diary could make me stronger. Since no one could read it, Su Luo wrote freely, daring to pen anything and everything. Female Lead #1: "Not bad. This diary helped me steal all the protagonist's opportunities. I just want to get stronger." Female Lead #2: "I don’t care about reaching the peak of the cultivation world. Right now, I just want to enjoy the chaos." Female Lead #3: "What? Everyone around me is a spy? I’m the Joker Demon Lord?" ... It’s so strange. Why is the plot completely off track, yet the ending remains the same? Are you all just messing with me?!
