At the End of the Road, the Unlucky Duo… Since It's Come to This, Let's Eat First

“Pow! Pow!”

“Hahaha, Madam, I’ve discovered that you’re a real stickler. I was only joking around with you—why are you actually getting mad? Hahaha…”

After taking two solid blows from “Madam’s Righteous Fists,” Ye Cheng became much more obedient. His eyes also cleared up considerably, raising his national-treasure rating by quite a bit.

Put him in a zoo, and he’d definitely qualify as a priceless exhibit.

Black eyes, a huge appetite, and tremendous strength. Guess what adorable little animal this is…

The answer: Ye Cheng.

All rights reserved by the official source.

“When Madam gets angry, don’t mistake me for a pushover, hmph.” After giving Ye Cheng two more punches, Du Wanyi clapped her hands enthusiastically. The familiar feel was still there. Not bad.

“Let me ask you one more time. What should you call me?” Du Wanyi arched her willow brows, her gaze turning dangerous as she stared at Ye Cheng.

Ye Cheng: “…”

He swallowed audibly, then answered without the slightest hesitation.

“Dad!”

Du Wanyi: “…”

“I swear to— Wait, that actually works.” Du Wanyi’s anger abruptly stalled. She had just been about to demonstrate her brand-new series of Madam combos, but after thinking it over, she realized the answer wasn’t bad at all and stopped.

Ye Cheng let out a sigh of relief.

He was just about to say something when Du Wanyi, having finally processed his answer, spoke up.

“You’ll even call me Dad just to stay alive? What a deep schemer. What if you wait ten or eight years and come back for revenge…? Looks like I can’t let you live!”

Ye Cheng: “???”

No, seriously!

Madam, how about you take a look at what you’re saying? What do you mean, “wait ten or eight years and come back for revenge”?

Are you saying that if I wait ten or eight years, I’ll be able to beat you?

Are you being serious, Madam?

Since when did he have that much potential? Why didn’t he know about it?

You’re worrying too much, ma’am…

After witnessing Du Wanyi barge alone into a military base in the middle of the night—no, wait, he’d forgotten about that mutt. Fine, after witnessing her barge alone into a military base in the middle of the night with a mutt and still walk away unscathed, she did seem even more formidable.

Ye Cheng: “…”

He probably wouldn’t have a chance of beating her in this lifetime anyway. He absolutely had to find the Young Miss and get her to suppress Madam’s evil personality.

All of Madam’s limited supply of kindness had apparently gone to the Young Miss. Everyone else could only suffer her Devil Pill elbow strikes…

Fortunately, his luck wasn’t too bad. He got to enjoy those elbow strikes to his heart’s content.

As for whether he wanted to take them… that wasn’t for him to decide. If Madam gave them to him, did he dare refuse? Clearly, he simply hadn’t received enough of Madam’s elbow strikes yet. After a few more rounds, he’d get used to them.

“Forget it. I won’t scare you anymore, Little Chengcheng. I have a pretty good idea of what you meant when you said you were going to die.”

Du Wanyi suddenly changed her tone and became serious, finally getting down to business.

Before discussing the actual matter, however, she first had to tell him a little story—about the origins of their lineage, how it had been passed down, and so on…

Although she herself had forgotten some of it, she could still make do with a few words. After all, she had promised a certain old bastard that she would explain it. As for how much she could remember, that depended on luck.

A few years ago, Du Wanyi still remembered everything very clearly. But over the past several years, she had become addicted to those brainless short dramas, and her IQ had plummeted in a straight line. “Taking a nosedive” wasn’t nearly enough to describe the horror.

Her brain could be compared to a koala’s…

Smooth and empty.

Ye Cheng was stunned, a puzzled look spreading across his face. “Madam, you know?”

Du Wanyi nodded. “Little Chengcheng, when you were young, were you unusual in any way?”

“Not really. I feel like I was pretty normal.”

Ye Cheng’s eyes shifted as he instinctively recalled his childhood experiences. Things like gaining intelligence after only a few months, understanding human speech, learning to talk and walk, and memorizing all three hundred Tang poems before he was even three…

It all seemed pretty normal to him.

So far, everything was perfectly ordinary.

“You feel like everything was normal? That it was all perfectly ordinary? Tell me about it.” Du Wanyi raised her willow brows, lowered the upside-down Ye Cheng from midair, and began reviewing the events of his past with him.

“Oh, sure. I think I was about three months old. I can’t remember anything from the first two months—I only remember that it smelled awful. Starting from when I was three months old…”

After briefly gathering his thoughts, Ye Cheng began recounting what had happened after his birth. Du Wanyi listened with great interest, nodding from time to time.

So far, everything sounded… perfectly normal.

Unfortunately, although Da Huang was intelligent enough to understand human speech, he was still just a dog. He had no idea what the two of them were whispering about. If anyone else had been present, they would already have been scared witless by the pair’s outrageous behavior and bizarre thought processes.

Wait, you’re saying you started remembering things when you were three months old?

And after all these years, you still haven’t forgotten them?

You can even recall all sorts of details clearly?

And you—you’re not shocked that someone could remember things from three months old? You just keep nodding over there. What are you nodding for? Don’t you think this is bizarre, Madam?!

Du Wanyi: Everything is perfectly normal so far!

More than ten minutes later, Ye Cheng had finished recounting most of it. He turned to her and asked, “Well, Madam? Did you notice anything unusual?”

Du Wanyi looked confused. “That’s strange. It shouldn’t be like this. This all seems perfectly normal. I remember the old bastard saying something different… Wait a moment. I’ll call him and ask.”

“A phone call? Isn’t that a little too modern? Shouldn’t you be setting up an altar and performing a ritual, or using some kind of long-distance spiritual communication?” Ye Cheng sounded slightly disappointed.

“An altar, my foot. Do you really think this is a TV drama? All that stuff in novels is fake. There’s no such thing as being that powerful. Besides, long-distance spiritual communication is a pain. A phone is much more practical.”

Du Wanyi rolled her eyes. “What era are you living in, still talking about long-distance spiritual communication? I make one phone call, and that’s long-distance communication across ten thousand miles, all right?”

“Little Chengcheng, you’re way behind the times. Just wait. I’ll call the old bastard and ask him what’s going on…”

Ye Cheng: “…”

Madam, are you saying… you really can use long-distance spiritual communication and all that?

How supernatural are you?

Du Wanyi went outside to get her phone, preparing to call and ask what was going on. As Ye Cheng watched her gradually walk away, his heart gave a jolt.

No!

Madam’s phone!

Ye Cheng suddenly remembered that Madam’s phone battery had already been squeezed dry once by Da Huang using the “ancient charging method.” Whether the phone could even turn on was questionable, let alone make a call.

He had sent a message to Brother Doudou, but Brother Doudou hadn’t believed him…

Wait.

“Hmm? That’s strange. My phone seems to be dead. Little Chengcheng, bring me your phone so I can make a call…”

Du Wanyi’s voice came from outside.

She crouched there, fiddling with her phone and tapping at it for quite some time. When the screen remained completely black without the slightest sign of life, she suddenly remembered that the phone had apparently run out of power earlier.

As for the oddly hard, uncomfortable feeling on the back of the phone, Madam simply ignored it.

“Oh, right, Chengcheng, how long do we have to charge this phone before it can turn on?” Du Wanyi was about to pick up Ye Cheng’s phone when something occurred to her, and she asked instinctively.

Ye Cheng: “…”

Unless something unexpected happened, Madam, your phone probably wouldn’t turn on even if you charged it for the rest of your life. Honestly, Da Huang’s ancient charging method seemed more practical, and probably had a higher chance of getting it to work.

No matter how long you charged it, at best it would explode—it wouldn’t turn on. His phone was different, though. His had been modified.

No matter how harsh the conditions were, it could function normally!

Come out, my phone!

“Cawww—!”

A sharp raptor’s cry suddenly rang out from beyond the cave. In the sky appeared a female golden eagle, slightly smaller than the one that had previously been roasted into chicken wings.

Although it was smaller, it was even faster. It plunged almost straight down at a ninety-degree angle, its keen eyes filled with hatred as it charged toward Du Wanyi standing outside.

It was obvious that it had come for revenge!

“Bang!”

With one swing of the stick, the female golden eagle was killed instantly. It crashed heavily onto the ground, not even making it to Madam before its life was snuffed out completely.

Golden Eagle: I gave it everything I had, but I still couldn’t win…

It was only because Madam was kind enough to reunite the whole family. If it had been anyone else, they definitely wouldn’t have been so generous.

That said, since she had been so kind, asking for a little compensation shouldn’t be too much, right?

Oh, what a coincidence. These two wings looked just about perfect…

After killing the female golden eagle with a single blow, Du Wanyi became delighted. “Chengcheng, this is wonderful! We’re having chicken wings again tonight!”

Du Wanyi was as happy as a child who had lived for several hundred months. She held up the female golden eagle she had just killed and grinned foolishly outside, completely unaware that several smaller figures had appeared hundreds of meters above the ground behind her.

Several young golden eagles—even ones that had not yet fully learned how to cry out—were swooping in. This laid the foundation for a successful sneak attack…

Hearing the wind howl, Ye Cheng frowned and instinctively looked outside. With his enhanced hearing and eyesight, he saw the young golden eagles rapidly diving down from several hundred meters away.

Ye Cheng: “???”

What the heck? Is this the Calabash Brothers coming to rescue their grandpa one by one? We killed the male, so the female came. Then we killed the female, and now the babies are here…

If it were anyone else, Ye Cheng might have been a little worried. But since it was Madam…

Stop already! Don’t end up overfeeding Madam to death!

“Madam, there are a few more behind you!” Ye Cheng called out.

Du Wanyi froze for a moment and turned around, but the young golden eagles had already flown right in front of her. Their sharp beaks were about to pierce through her eyes—

“Smack!”

At the instant before impact—within less than a tenth of a second—Madam reacted, and her body moved accordingly. With a single slap, she killed the young golden eagle flying toward her.

Chicken wings +1…

Ye Cheng: “…”

See? I told you to run. But no, you had to come here and throw your lives away. You’ve really watched too many TV dramas and actually started believing that there’s strength in numbers, huh?

When you run into Madam, you’d better behave…

“Whoosh—!”

The young golden eagles took turns throwing themselves at her. In the end, after finally seeing the situation clearly, they prepared to retreat. But they were unwilling to leave just like that, so…

“Damn it, you dare steal my phone?!”

Du Wanyi was still picking up chicken wings when she suddenly saw the two remaining young golden eagles flying away, each clutching a phone!

Ye Cheng panicked and hurried out of the cave. “You little beasts! Madam, hurry up and kill those two little bastards!”

The moment Ye Cheng saw his phone being carried away, his kind-hearted persona vanished.

He had originally wanted to live among them as an ordinary person, but they had forced his hand. Fine, then—no more pretending. Time to reveal the truth!

Ye Cheng thoughtfully handed Du Wanyi a handful of stones. Without a second word, she threw one at one of the young golden eagles.

Whoosh!

Smack!

It struck with pinpoint accuracy. The young golden eagle dropped to the ground, twitched twice, and went completely still. It was dead beyond any doubt.

The phone it had stolen also fell from the sky.

As for the other young golden eagle, by the time it turned around, it had already vanished into the distance, reduced to nothing more than a speck in the sky.

Ye Cheng: “…”

Du Wanyi: “…”

“Madam, what are we supposed to do now?” Ye Cheng asked after a moment of silence.

Du Wanyi furrowed her brows and put on an expression of deep thought…

“Well, things have come to this. Let’s eat first.”

Ye Cheng: “…”