“Now that you’re here, you think you can still run?”
“Bang!”
The golden eagle was just about to make its final dive, snatch up the prey in front of it, then carry it high into the sky and drop it to its death before enjoying a nice meal...
When Du Wanyi’s wildly excited voice suddenly rang out from nearby.
Du Wanyi burst out from a patch of snow where she had been lying in ambush, gripping a stick as thick as a wrist and nearly two meters long.
She moved incredibly fast. In the blink of an eye, she had reached the golden eagle. Its eyes went from puzzled to terrified as it rapidly tried to retreat, beating its huge wings as it backed away.
Unfortunately, it was one step too late.
Faced with the hostess’s warm and hospitable little combo of, “Now that you’re here...”
The eagle did not even have time to scream before Du Wanyi smacked it into a zip file with one blow. It flapped twice on the ground, then went completely still.
“Holy crap, that’s brutal!” Ye Cheng had already run nearly two mu away. Hearing the commotion, he turned around and saw that the once-mighty golden eagle had now double-clicked its temples and gone to Madam Meng for a limited-edition bowl of forgetfulness soup.
In his heart, he prayed that in its next life, it would never be a golden eagle again. Or, if it did end up as one, that it would never again try to eat “ginseng.”
There really was no such thing as a free lunch in this world.
And if there was... you’d better think carefully before eating it about who, exactly, was lunch.
“Still trying to run?” Du Wanyi said cheerfully as she considered which part to eat later. Seeing the eagle still struggling and twitching now and then—
Bang, bang! Two more blows.
She thoroughly erased the last scraps of its muscle memory. It was dead beyond dead.
Ye Cheng: “...”
For some reason, despite it being the dead of winter, he was sweating all over from watching.
“What are you staring at, Little Chengcheng? Get over here and help! Don’t you want to eat?” Du Wanyi, sporting a black eye, pressured Ye Cheng from where she stood.
Ye Cheng: “...”
Ye Cheng, also sporting a black eye, went over. “Coming, coming, ma’am! I’m coming!”
Wow. In the middle of this frozen wilderness, there were actually two wild giant pandas—China’s national treasure. No wonder every creature around wanted to come over and test them out.
Unfortunately...
The result of testing them out was checking in with Madam Meng for a bowl of forgetfulness soup.
That golden eagle had it coming, too. It flew so high and had such sharp eyesight, yet it somehow failed to notice the tiger lying there, already dead as a doornail... Then it had the nerve to fly over and try to eat ginseng. Well, feeling obedient now?
No big deal, no big deal. Just be more careful in your next life. As a bird of prey, it should have just caught some mice or other wild game. That would’ve been enough. Why did it have to go after ginseng...
Ye Cheng hurried over, grabbed the golden eagle by the wing, and followed behind Du Wanyi. They dragged it through the snow, leaving a long, obvious trail—an unmistakable sign of activity.
Yet no ferocious beast dared come any closer.
A wolf pack on a distant slope paced anxiously in circles, drool and slobber dripping all over the ground.
But they did not dare take even half a step forward.
Inside the cave.
The fire had already been lit. Its crackling echoed through the cave. Da Huang lay just inside the entrance, gave a contented yawn, and was about to roll over and go back to sleep.
Then...
A sense of impending doom suddenly washed over him. Da Huang's eyes flew open, only to see an enormous "panda."
Da Huang: "..."
"Well, well, you little bastard. I almost forgot about you!" Ye Cheng gritted his teeth, forcing a smile onto his face. He absolutely did not want to kill Da Huang. Mm... not even the tiniest little bit.
Da Huang shuddered, launched himself to his feet, and rushed toward where Madam was.
Given the situation... only Madam could save him now. He had only eaten some crispy noodles and spicy strips. Was that really worth going this far over?
"Awooo—"
Da Huang had barely opened his mouth to call for help when Ye Cheng stepped on his tail and clamped a hand over his muzzle. His doggy eyes filled with despair.
"It's okay, Mengde. Take a deep breath. Feeling dizzy is perfectly normal. It'll all be over soon. Oh, right. In your next life, try not to make such a rookie mistake again. Sweet dreams."
Somehow, Ye Cheng swiftly produced a sack and stuffed Da Huang into it. Thorough job, too: his mouth and all four legs were tied up. He couldn't make a sound, and he couldn't move.
Once all that was done, Ye Cheng lifted the sack, ready to give it an eighteen-hit body slam and send a certain dog bastard to meet the Buddha.
Fuck, what a little monster!
How had he not seen this coming? Yours truly, Ye, brilliant all his life, had actually been outplayed by some dog and thoroughly screwed over.
You usually looked so honest, even kind of sweet. But when it mattered, you suddenly decided to grow a spine, huh?
Several thousand kilometers! You actually followed the scent all the way here. Are you even human?
Uh... no, wait. Of course not. You aren't human in the first place.
Ye Cheng: "..."
At last, Ye Cheng understood the utter despair people felt when they got into online arguments with him.
The traditional opening move in an insult match was always to use someone's mother as the center point and their family tree as the radius, then unleash indiscriminate firepower. The problem was that Ye Cheng was an orphan. No mom to insult, no family tree to drag in. He was basically immune to the whole attack.
That was the same helpless despair Ye Cheng now felt when facing Da Huang.
Call Da Huang a bastard, and Da Huang would think you were complimenting him...
Da Huang: Sorry, but I'm just a dog...
Ye Cheng: "..."
It's fine. It's fine. We're bros, aren't we? How could he possibly take such a tiny matter to heart?
How could he possibly take it to heart? (gritting his teeth)
I'll let you keep sniffing, you little shit!!!
Ye Cheng raised the sack high, prepared to end Da Huang's sin-filled life, when Madam's somewhat "innocent" voice suddenly came from beside him.
"Little Chengcheng, what are you doing?" Du Wanyi blinked. At some point, she had appeared beside him, holding a freshly grilled chicken wing.
The chicken wings had already been brushed with seasoning by Ye Cheng. All that remained was to roast them, and it was only taking advantage of this opportunity that Ye Cheng had managed to sneak inside from outdoors.
He was preparing to give Da Huang one last send-off.
Ye Cheng’s expression stiffened. After hesitating for less than a tenth of a second, he set down the bag in his hand and hid it behind his back, putting on a fawning smile.
“Hehe…”
“I have no idea. I just found it in the cave. I was a little bored, so I thought I’d throw it around and play with it like a snap pop.”
Du Wanyi nodded. “Oh… so that’s what it is. Maybe there’s some kind of treasure inside. Come on, let’s open it and take a look. If it really is treasure, we’ll be rich! Then we won’t have to work anymore. We can spend the rest of our lives eating well and doing absolutely nothing!”
Du Wanyi’s eyes lit up, and she looked extremely excited. She had already begun rubbing her hands together in anticipation.
Ye Cheng: “…”
Madam, do you really need… treasure?
And another thing, Madam, is it possible that the way you live at home right now already qualifies as “eating well and doing nothing” in the literal sense?
Just look at what you’ve done to Brother Doudou. He’s supposedly the head of the household, yet he spends all day away from home, working himself to the bone at the company.
When he comes home at night, he still has to be careful not to say the wrong thing. One little slip, and he might end up as Doudou sauce or something…
Eating well and doing nothing?
That may be other people’s dream, but unfortunately, it was simply Madam’s everyday life. Nothing out of the ordinary.
As for opening the bag in front of them…
Well, Ye Cheng really didn’t think that was necessary.
“Come on, Little Chengcheng, this is our chance to get rich! Let’s hurry up and open the bag and make a fortune. We absolutely can’t let anyone else nearby see us…”
As she spoke, Du Wanyi suddenly lowered her voice and glanced left and right, as though someone might come over and snatch it from them.
Ye Cheng: “…”
Madam, take a look around. Other than us, is there anyone else in this godforsaken place?
At most, there was that damned dog in the bag…
“Um, Madam, I don’t think that’s necessary. What if someone accidentally dropped it here? It wouldn’t be right for us to open it secretly. Let’s just forget it…”
Ye Cheng gulped, swallowing hard as even more cold sweat gathered on his forehead.
Du Wanyi froze at his words and sucked in a sharp breath. She looked at Ye Cheng in disbelief.
“I never thought you were the kind of person with such strong moral principles!”
Ye Cheng: “…”
Um… why did that sound so unlike a compliment?
It had to be his imagination, right?
“That’s right, Madam. You’ve misunderstood me all along. I’ve always been an upright young man of the new era with a strong moral compass!” Ye Cheng struck a pose like a model student following the example of Lei Feng.
Du Wanyi nodded. “Well done. I knew I hadn’t misjudged you. You passed my test. Let’s put the thing back where we found it and eat first.”
Ye Cheng let out a sigh of relief and hurriedly tossed the bag aside.
“Sure. Come on, Madam, let’s go eat.”
“Okay.”
The two of them, both sporting a pair of black eyes, headed outside one after the other.
Du Wanyi was in front, with Ye Cheng behind her.
Du Wanyi was in the middle, with Ye Cheng behind her.
Du Wanyi was behind, with Ye Cheng in the middle.
Du Wanyi…
Ye Cheng: “…”
Wait. Something seemed a little off here, didn’t it?
Ye Cheng abruptly stopped and turned his head. The madam beside him had vanished without a trace. Somehow, using who-knew-what kind of phantom footwork, she had already slipped behind him.
So stealthy that he hadn’t noticed a thing. And, somehow, she was getting closer and closer to the bag they had just seen.
Ye Cheng: “…”
“Um… Madam, weren’t we supposed to be walking forward just now?” Ye Cheng asked, sounding rather helpless.
“What are you talking about, Little Chengcheng? I don’t understand. I’m walking forward, aren’t I? Why would I lie to you? What’s with that look… I spotted this bag first, so whatever’s inside belongs to me!”
As she spoke, Du Wanyi suddenly dropped the act and began opening the bag at lightning speed. Her eyes were brimming with excitement.
And then…
A dog’s head emerged.
Du Wanyi: “…”
Ye Cheng: “…”
“Madam’s Meteor Fist!!!”
“Argh—!”
Ye Cheng’s agonized scream echoed through the cave dwelling. Half an hour later, he was once again buried in the soil like a ginseng, with only his head sticking out. He sported a black eye and gnawed on a chicken wing.
Ye Cheng: “As expected of a high-grade pheasant. The flavor is incredible, and the meat is firm and springy… Munch, munch, munch…”
Du Wanyi: “Munch, munch, munch. See? Isn’t it delicious? Munch, munch, munch…”
Ye Cheng: “Indeed, Madam. Your taste is truly impeccable!”
Du Wanyi: “Hahaha, it’s not that great, really. Hahaha, come on, say a few more nice things. Hahaha…”
Ye Cheng: “…”
Madam, you…
“So, why exactly did you run off without saying a word?”
The two of them had been busy showering each other with compliments when Du Wanyi suddenly changed the subject and asked the question. The cave instantly fell silent—so quiet that one could hear a pin drop.
Ye Cheng: “…”
What… Wasn’t that a rather abrupt change of subject? Weren’t they just discussing how the chicken wings ought to be roasted to taste better? How had they suddenly…
“I’m very unhappy that you ran off so suddenly like that,” Du Wanyi continued in an even tone.
“Do you know that you disrupted my plans…”
“I’m really fired up right now!”
Ye Cheng: “???”
m back to his original world. In the end, he realized he had overthought things. [Hey, why is Shen Manni, the female lead, acting strange? Shouldn't she be fawning over the male lead at this point?] [Zhou Qiaoqiao, are you sick? Weren't you supposed to break off your engagement today?] [Damn it! An Youyi, please do your job as an undercover agent and sell my information to the protagonist, you idiot!] ... At this moment, Xu Mo himself didn't know that these female leads had already heard his inner thoughts. Then they decided not to play by the rules. Xu Mo: Please respect my profession as the big villain!
nd fell into a coma while saving his younger sister from an out-of-control car. He became a vegetable. No one knew that his consciousness had crossed into a world of cultivation. Over the course of sixty years, he began as the lowest kind of mine slave, struggling to survive amid mountains of corpses and seas of blood. By sheer chance, he eventually obtained the complete memories of a fallen Immortal King. Alchemy, medicine, formations, feng shui, physiognomy, artifact forging… Every great inheritance of the cultivation world was now his. But when he opened his eyes again, he discovered that ten full years had passed in the modern world. To pay for his treatment, his father had sold the family’s shop and house, leaving himself covered in lasting injuries and illness. His mother had cared for him day and night, and more than half of her hair had already turned white. His younger sister, who had been only fifteen back then, was now twenty-five. To help repay the family’s debts, she had been forced to lower her head and put on a smiling face in places of glittering lights and endless revelry. Only then did Chen Xuan understand that what he had lost was not merely ten years. He had lost the life his entire family was meant to have. The good news was that he had brought back the memories of an Immortal King’s entire lifetime. The bad news was that his soul had returned alone—his cultivation had not come with him. Spiritual energy was scarce, resources were depleted, and the modern world still had firearms, surveillance, capital, and laws. If he wanted to protect his family, break free from everyone’s control, and become truly invincible beneath the heavens, he would have to start all over again.
s the Eldest Princess, renowned for her cold and aloof detachment, became the most docile of lambs, obeying his every command without question. But when the final move was played on the chessboard, as Gu Chenghan seized everything and ascended on the verge of apotheosis, that very Princess suddenly embraced him from behind, her tone carrying a dependence never heard before: "Wait... you haven't yet... commanded me to love you forever." Gu Chenghan froze abruptly. She... hadn't been hypnotized?! ... [The Eldest Princess's Diary] [When my soul was extracted, becoming the sole spectator outside my own shell] [At first, there was overwhelming fury, until I saw] [How he used my sword to effortlessly shatter my inescapable doom] [How he wielded my authority to eradicate fatal conspiracies I had never even detected] [Like a deity, he rescued me from the deep mire I was trapped in] [If not for those annoying vixens, he and I would be a match made in heaven] [I think I am ill, gravely ill] [My deity should belong to me alone] ... "Hypnosis? Oh, it succeeded, my dear Master." "Only this time, it's my turn to hypnotize you."
to panic—he has a system. As long as an investment target dies, he can claim a reward. And since he is immortal, the one thing he has plenty of is time. ... Countless years later. “Immortal Emperor of Longevity? I invested in him.” “Supreme Celestial Venerable? I invested in him.” “Undying Empress? I invested in her.” “...” “Heh. Once they’ve all died, even the Heavenly Dao will have to kneel and call me Dad.”
