Consciousness slowly seeped back in, but his eyelids were too heavy to lift, and everything around him was pitch black, to the point that all his five senses had completely vanished.
"Dammit, where the hell did they drag me off to?"
Ye Cheng had woken up, but not fully woken up... sort of half-awake, if you will.
It didn't take long for Ye Cheng to get used to this state of total blindness, and he started sorting through his memories to piece together what had happened. After two and a half full minutes of deduction, he finally came to a conclusion: there was a 50% chance the freak that knocked him out and carried him out of the military compound was Madam.
As for the other 50%, it was very likely some humanoid creature similar to Madam... definitely not a regular human, anyway.
Ye Cheng had nearly 20 years of solid martial arts training behind his punches, not to mention that full-power roundhouse kick he'd thrown hard enough to create a sonic boom, and it hadn't done a single bit of damage.
All that had happened was that the figure before him had staggered for a split second, and then... there was no "then" after that.
Ye Cheng: "..."
Wait a second, isn't this supposed to be an urban setting?
Where the hell did all this come from?
Am I about to get dragged into that crummy old xianxia cultivation trope from those trashy "grinning dragon king" web novels?
There's no way that's happening, right?
Speaking of those grinning dragon king stories, the protagonist should never have been him in the first place. Logically speaking, the person who fits that overbearing dragon king vibe perfectly is President. As for the young miss...
Ugh, the mental image is so ridiculous I don't even dare think about it.
Amid the endless stretch of darkness, Ye Cheng noticed his senses starting to come back a little. He could vaguely feel what position he was in, and for one thing... it seemed like he was hanging up in the air.
Ye Cheng: "..."
Wait, is this person a cannibal?
"Shushushu——"
The second that thought popped into his head, Ye Cheng heard a sound from outside, perfectly timed. It was the sound of a knife being sharpened, that scraping shushing noise, and just listening to it made it obvious how sharp the blade was.
Boom!
Something heavy dropped to the ground with a dull thud, and a faint scent of blood started to drift through the air.
Ye Cheng: "..."
Great, now I'm really screwed. It looks like this person actually is a cannibal. The only plan I've got left is to play dead and pull a surprise ambush on them...
As Ye Cheng tensed up and exerted his strength, the silver needles that had been stuck in all the pressure points across his body started to push their way slowly out of his skin and muscle, and the feeling in his fingers came back first.
Outside the cave.
A massive moose lay collapsed on the ground, its blood staining the surrounding white snow red. Du Wanyi was holding a rock she'd found somewhere... wait no, it was a knife now.
After grinding it for ages, that rough chunk of rock had turned into a sharp stone knife.
Though Madam usually looked like she was just lazing around and eating all day, she had all kinds of weird little random skills. For example, do you ever wonder why Madam was always crawling around the house like a spider?
A big part of the reason was that when she was little, she saw Spider-Man running and jumping all over skyscrapers, swinging from one spot to the next.
Since she couldn't shoot spiderwebs, that dream of swinging around through the air never panned out, but at the very least, she could crawl around on walls and ceilings just fine.
Even though everyone around her was totally confused how she was doing that.
It was against human physiology, against all common sense, but... she still pulled it off.
If you really look at it from a normal person's perspective, punching a cow to death should be totally impossible too, right?
On this point, Doudou Ge is the most qualified to speak, and Dongfang Zhan, as a veteran victim, knows exactly how it feels. Everyone who gets the gist of it is already "crying their eyes out".
What?
You say you can't cry?
Just wait till you get planted in the ground like a ginseng, you'll straighten right up. The tears you cry will even be used as nourishment for your own ginseng self... and you'll still have to be grateful for Madam's "cultivation" kindness.
"Woof!"
Right when Du Wanyi finished taking down a two-meter-tall moose, Da Huang over there also had a haul, carrying back a bunch of dry branches to use as firewood.
That streak of bright yellow against the snow stood out so sharply—this dog, you could tell at a glance, was born to be a great pooper-scooper... wait no, a great worker who deserves extra snacks!
"Good job, Da Huang! This last pack of crispy noodles is our reward for both of us for working so hard!"
Du Wanyi gave him a thumbs up, fished out the last pack of spicy crispy noodles from her pocket, and then... a tiny bite for Da Huang, a bite for herself, another bite for herself, another bite for herself, another bite for herself... and then one more tiny crumb for Da Huang.
Da Huang: "......"
Da Huang stared at the tiny pile of crispy noodle crumbs in front of him and fell into a stunned silence.
"Go on and eat it, Da Huang, why are you being so polite with me? Is it too much for you to finish? Munch munch munch..."
Du Wanyi's cheeks were puffed up like little buns as she chewed away, talking with her mouth full while blinking her big eyes. There was this look of perfectly innocent "purity" in her clear gaze that made anyone who saw it want to grumble but couldn't find the words.
Seeing that Du Wanyi looked like she was about to lean over and snatch even that last tiny bit of crispy noodles away from him, Da Huang was so close to having a stress response. He gobbled up the crumbs in one big bite, and then... munch munch munch.
The two of them, one human and one dog, spent ages munching away before they finally got down to real business: starting the fire, tending the flames, and roasting the meat...
Since Da Huang was a dog with only four paws, he couldn't pull off complicated tasks, so Du Wanyi did all the busy work.
Du Wanyi convinced herself very reasonably that the harder you work, the more you get to eat. She'd put in so much effort, so she totally deserved to eat this much—she even started regretting a little that she might have given Da Huang a bit too much of the crispy noodles earlier.
If Da Huang could read Madam's mind right now, he'd probably cuss her out with the dirtiest words he knew... Life was way better back when he was with his old boss.
Back when he followed Ye Cheng, every time Ye Cheng ate spicy strips, Da Huang got to lick the empty spicy strip bag... Wait a second, that doesn't seem like it's any better at all?
In Ye Cheng's own words...
"Mengde, you're just a little dog. Eating spicy strips would be bad for your health. I could never do something so cruel to hurt my good buddy... Munch munch munch... Hey, I just saw a little kid over there who had a stomach bug and pooped pretty fresh, you—ow! Why'd you bite me!"
Yeah... that's pretty much how it went. After Da Huang got smarter and developed his wits, he stopped eating poop, which made Ye Cheng super disappointed. Now he actually has to share his food with Da Huang from now on, ugh...
Crackle crackle, the fire finally caught. The snow around it started to melt, and the moose meat on the skewers started sizzling, oozing with rich, high-quality fat. The meat was marbled just like snowflakes, red and white streaked perfectly together...
Some folks might say right about now, how could you possibly get that lucky? How come the moose you killed just happened to have such perfectly marbled meat?
Who told you Madam only took down one moose?
She just picked through all of them, dragged back the one with the best meat, and left the ones with bad-quality meat lying dead in the snow. It's only been a little while, so if nothing unexpected happens, those carcasses are already frozen stiff, buried under the snow...
"This is amazing. I really am the best, huh."
Du Wanyi picked up the makeshift bamboo skewer she'd whittled from a tree branch, held the roasted moose meat strung on it up to her nose, and wore a look of pure delight on her face.
"Mmm... this smells amazing! Here, Da Huang, this is for you."
Without a second thought, Du Wanyi held out the perfectly roasted moose meat in her hand to Da Huang. Da Huang sniffed it, then... turned and walked away, utterly unimpressed.
The girl and the dog now stared at the moose meat in front of them, equally disgusted.
"Who the hell said moose meat was good? It reeks of gamy stench!" Du Wanyi ground her teeth in frustration. She'd gone through so much trouble just now, and ended up with a bunch of inedible, rank meat. Who could she even complain to about that?
All the stuff she'd read before was total garbage!
Du Wanyi had eaten venison before, but it was always the carefully prepared kind. Back then, the raw gamy stench had long been driven out by special seasonings during marinating, leaving barely a trace of scent.
The kind of smell you could completely ignore.
Even then, after taking a bite she'd only complained that it didn't taste good, tossed it aside, and never touched it again...
Now stuck out in this godforsaken place with no food, Du Wanyi had decided to give this old "acquaintance" another shot. She never expected her first bite to taste this terrible. Ugh, what a waste of all my good firewood! Du Wanyi fumed.
She was just about to heave the moose carcass far away when she spotted several white snow wolves on the snow not far off. A mischievous glint sparked in her eyes.
"Da Huang, I've got a mission for you. Whether we get a proper good meal today all depends on you!"
Da Huang: ......
Suddenly, he had a very bad feeling about this.
Next thing he knew, Da Huang had a big slab of moose leg meat slung over his back, and a piece of the roasted moose meat Du Wanyi had just finished balancing on top of his head. He charged toward the wolves not far off like a kamikaze runner.
"Woof!"
"That's my good boy Da Huang! You didn't let me down!" Du Wanyi cheered him on from behind.
She didn't notice at all what was happening inside the cave. A nearly inaudible clink sounded as a thin silver needle dropped to the ground from somewhere deep in the cave. Right after that, a second needle fell, then a third...
More and more silver needles showered down onto the ground, making tiny soft sounds that were completely drowned out by the howling wind, the snow, and Da Huang's kamikaze diversion act.
As the needles kept falling, Ye Cheng's senses started coming back to him. The world around him slowly came into focus.
He could hear... the crackle of fire!
"Arrooo——"
Da Huang and Du Wanyi's kamikaze plan worked flawlessly. Da Huang single-handedly lured over half the entire wolf pack over. A bizarre sight unfolded: a whole pack of snow wolves were running across the snowy ground, and somehow they couldn't catch up to one plump, yellow-furred big dog!
Snow wolves: ???
What in the world is that thing? How is it running that fast? We've never seen anything like it...
It must taste incredible.
The alpha wolf let out a call, and even more wolves joined the chase. On top of that, drawn by the smell of blood, other large predators emerged in the frozen snow: a brown bear, and a tiger...
"Perfect Da Huang! Now we can have bear paw! Wait... can you even eat tiger meat?"
Du Wanyi's eyes lit up, and she was practically drooling, but soon a new thought stopped her short. Did tiger meat even taste good?
"ROAR——"
The tiger's roar echoed across the snowy woods.
The wolf pack began to back away, making way for the king of beasts before them, not daring to advance any further.
Du Wanyi: "???"
"What the hell are you roaring for? The meat got away!" Furious, Du Wanyi grabbed a rock and hurled it hard at the "big tiger" standing on the hilltop.
"Thud!"
It hit the tiger's forehead dead on. Its eyes rolled back, its legs went stiff... what a way to go, oh right, and for good measure, the moment the rock Du Wanyi threw made contact with it, the tiger crumbled into fine powder and scattered in all directions.
The wolf pack: "......"
The brown bear: "......"
In the end, the wolf pack retreated at the cost of half their number, and the brown bear left with a head full of lumps and one leg lame... The bear and tiger fight finally came to a close, and the brown bear clearly came out on top. With more body fat and higher physical resistance, driven by a fierce will to survive, it took so many hits from the flying stones without making a single sound as it ran for its life.
Unlike the tiger, which only let out one little grunt.
This time, the tiger meat tasted far more delicious. After the human and the dog had eaten their fill and were fully satisfied, they suddenly remembered Ye Cheng who was still inside the cave.
Du Wanyi rubbed her full belly, a toothpick tucked in the corner of her mouth, as she walked toward the cave holding a piece of meat... Heh heh heh, little Chengcheng, you kicked me and still think you get to eat? There's no way that's happening!
Du Wanyi had already come up with no less than ten different ways to get revenge in her head, all to get payback for that whip kick he landed on her back at the military region.
Tap tap tap, her footsteps came to a stop. Just as Du Wanyi was about to open her mouth, Ye Cheng suddenly snapped his eyes open, sprung up with a carp flip, twisted mid-air, bared a fierce glare, and threw a full-force punch straight at the "man-eating monster" right in front of him!
"Bang!"
Madam's black eye count +1...
Du Wanyi: "......"
to panic—he has a system. As long as an investment target dies, he can claim a reward. And since he is immortal, the one thing he has plenty of is time. ... Countless years later. “Immortal Emperor of Longevity? I invested in him.” “Supreme Celestial Venerable? I invested in him.” “Undying Empress? I invested in her.” “...” “Heh. Once they’ve all died, even the Heavenly Dao will have to kneel and call me Dad.”
agon king storylines. At the start, I obtained the "Ultimate Lackey System" - the more I act as a lackey, the stronger I become. What else could I do? I chose to become the personal henchman of the ultimate villain, Su Muwan. I provoke all sorts of chosen ones, snatch away their opportunities, and commit every evil deed imaginable. You ask who's behind me? Hmph! You're not worthy of knowing my lady's name! ...... ....... I am Su Muwan, the eldest daughter of the Su family. Since childhood, I've possessed extraordinary talent in martial arts, which led to my arrogant and domineering personality in my past life. I was even foolish enough to repeatedly challenge those favored by heaven, ultimately resulting in a tragic death. In this life, I must behave and absolutely cannot walk the same path again!! However... SLAP!! "So you're the Dragon King, huh?!" When I saw my little lackey swagger over and viciously slap the Dragon King who was hiding his identity, I felt my heart sink. Su Muwan's suspended heart finally died as she watched Qin Luo, her utterly loyal lackey, standing before her. She fainted on the spot from shock. Heaven is determined to destroy me!! (Pure love 1v1, light-hearted, no angst, single female lead, villain, reincarnation, lackey)
nd fell into a coma while saving his younger sister from an out-of-control car. He became a vegetable. No one knew that his consciousness had crossed into a world of cultivation. Over the course of sixty years, he began as the lowest kind of mine slave, struggling to survive amid mountains of corpses and seas of blood. By sheer chance, he eventually obtained the complete memories of a fallen Immortal King. Alchemy, medicine, formations, feng shui, physiognomy, artifact forging… Every great inheritance of the cultivation world was now his. But when he opened his eyes again, he discovered that ten full years had passed in the modern world. To pay for his treatment, his father had sold the family’s shop and house, leaving himself covered in lasting injuries and illness. His mother had cared for him day and night, and more than half of her hair had already turned white. His younger sister, who had been only fifteen back then, was now twenty-five. To help repay the family’s debts, she had been forced to lower her head and put on a smiling face in places of glittering lights and endless revelry. Only then did Chen Xuan understand that what he had lost was not merely ten years. He had lost the life his entire family was meant to have. The good news was that he had brought back the memories of an Immortal King’s entire lifetime. The bad news was that his soul had returned alone—his cultivation had not come with him. Spiritual energy was scarce, resources were depleted, and the modern world still had firearms, surveillance, capital, and laws. If he wanted to protect his family, break free from everyone’s control, and become truly invincible beneath the heavens, he would have to start all over again.
s the Eldest Princess, renowned for her cold and aloof detachment, became the most docile of lambs, obeying his every command without question. But when the final move was played on the chessboard, as Gu Chenghan seized everything and ascended on the verge of apotheosis, that very Princess suddenly embraced him from behind, her tone carrying a dependence never heard before: "Wait... you haven't yet... commanded me to love you forever." Gu Chenghan froze abruptly. She... hadn't been hypnotized?! ... [The Eldest Princess's Diary] [When my soul was extracted, becoming the sole spectator outside my own shell] [At first, there was overwhelming fury, until I saw] [How he used my sword to effortlessly shatter my inescapable doom] [How he wielded my authority to eradicate fatal conspiracies I had never even detected] [Like a deity, he rescued me from the deep mire I was trapped in] [If not for those annoying vixens, he and I would be a match made in heaven] [I think I am ill, gravely ill] [My deity should belong to me alone] ... "Hypnosis? Oh, it succeeded, my dear Master." "Only this time, it's my turn to hypnotize you."
