The brain becomes smooth, timing is weird Uncle-in-law, why are you here

"Thump, thump, thump..."

His heart was pounding like crazy...

Emperor Bro clamped both hands over his mouth, pupils constricted, his eyes wide with sheer terror... It's here!

As for Ye Cheng...

"Chomp, chomp, chomp... what are you doing?" Ye Cheng crumpled the wrapper of his Big Bubble Gum into a tiny ball, and flicked it right at Emperor Bro across from him.

Emperor Bro: "???"

Dude, we're hiding for our lives right now, can you not be so unhinged? Act a little scared, man! You're making me look like a total wimp here!

"What are the two of you doing?"

"Dude, I'm begging you, stop talking... Huh?" Emperor Bro's face twisted in agony, he was this close to dropping to his knees and begging Ye Cheng, when he trailed off mid-sentence, and realized... something felt really off.

Ye Cheng... didn't seem to open his mouth just now?

"Huh? What are you talking about, I didn't say a word, chomp chomp chomp..." Ye Cheng blinked, kept chewing the bubble gum in his mouth, and stared motionlessly at Emperor Bro who was about to jump out of his skin.

There were only two of them here. If the voice just now didn't come from Ye Cheng across from him, then... who was it?

Emperor Bro: "!!!"

"AHHHHH!!!"

"Who's screaming their heads off in the middle of the night? Both of you, get out here!" The head nurse's furious voice boomed down the hallway.

Emperor Bro: "..."

Ye Cheng: "Chomp, chomp, chomp..."

"I didn't let you two in here to slack off. Get out there and do your jobs properly!"

"I still don't get how the hell you two even got hired here, ugh..." The head nurse's tone was dripping with irritation.

Oh, and by the way, the head nurse was a buff, dark-skinned, buzzcut tough guy standing at a solid 6 feet tall. When Emperor Bro first showed up for the job, he was even daydreaming about a sweet, romantic little encounter, but the second he laid eyes on the head nurse, the sparkle in his eyes instantly vanished.

Not only did it vanish, it went completely dark, like his entire life had lost all meaning... Dammit, who the hell told him that all nurses in hospitals are super gentle and pretty?

This guy could fold me into a pretzel with one hit, for crying out loud... Ugh, all those TV dramas are lying. There's no such thing as a whirlwind surprise romance waiting for me here, just a mean right elbow from the head nurse.

"Get on your feet, now!" The head nurse barked, scaring Emperor Bro so bad he shot straight up like he was launched by a spring, snapping into a perfect military stance.

He was this close to saluting.

Ye Cheng: "Chomp, chomp, chomp..."

Normally the sound of Ye Cheng chomping bubble gum would be obvious, but the entire sanatorium right now was blaring with a military base's wailing alarm, so loud it made their ears ring, completely drowning out the sound of him chewing.

Blah blah blah, whatever, I'm just over here chomping away...

"Uh, head nurse, what's going on out there? Is it an enemy attack? Shouldn't we just run for it? We only make a few thousand bucks a month, why risk our lives for this..."

Emperor Bro heard all the commotion, the shrill blaring alarms, the loudspeaker warnings outside the windows, and the sound of fully armed soldiers patrolling, so he leaned over nervously to try to talk the head nurse into bailing.

The head nurse scoffed. "Useless coward. This is a military base. Where do you think you're gonna run to? Nowhere is safer than here!"

"You spineless little loser, can't you take a page out of this guy's book? Look at how determined Little Da's eyes are, nothing like your useless self!"

The head nurse went on a two and a half minute long rant dissing Emperor Bro, until he looked like he was this close to giving up on life entirely.

After warning Emperor Bro that if he tried to run and didn't stay put at his post there'd be serious consequences, the head nurse finally left to go patrol and search other areas...

"Phew... He's finally gone." Emperor Bro let out a huge breath, his previously ramrod straight back slumping instantly. The lopsided cap on his head, now that he was hunched over, made him look exactly like a cartoonish puppet soldier from a bad war movie.

He glanced down at himself, then over at Ye Cheng who was still standing there chomping bubble gum.

"Bro, why aren't you scared at all?" Emperor Bro asked.

"What's there to be scared of? Chomp chomp... Besides, the head nurse's footsteps were super obvious the whole time." Ye Cheng blinked, completely unbothered.

Yep, way before the head nurse even got close, Ye Cheng had already recognized who the footsteps belonged to.

Ye Cheng's reputation as a natural-born genius wasn't for nothing. Once he'd heard someone walk before, he could memorize their unique step pattern, and the next time they showed up, he didn't even need to see their face to know who it was.

On top of that, Ye Cheng had the "enhanced senses" buff, which turned him into a total master at identifying people purely by the sound of their footsteps. It was so overpowered it was almost cheating.

He'd never messed up once so far... Except when it came to Madam.

Because Madam never made a single sound when she walked. Ye Cheng had paid attention dozens of times, and every single time, there was no noise at all. She moved around like a literal ghost...

I have no idea what Madam eats to be that absurdly strong, she's totally broken. Hope the devs nerf her soon... chomp chomp.

Wait a second, dude!"

"You can actually tell people apart just by their footsteps?" Emperor Bro's eyes bulged so wide they looked like they were about to pop out of his head, like he'd just seen a ghost.

Ye Cheng looked at Emperor Bro with that deadpan "c'mon man, you're really that hopeless?" expression. "Is that supposed to be hard?"

Emperor Bro: "..."

Crack. Some invisible thing just shattered, oh... turns out that was Emperor Bro's entire worldview breaking. Right then and there, he realized he was never the main character of this story.

At the very least, next to the guy standing right in front of him, he definitely wasn't. He was more like a throwaway NPC in a cheap short drama that gets killed off in the first episode, no one even remembers he existed.

Dammit, I wanna cry...

For the rest of the time, Emperor Bro was fully depressed, squatting in the corner moping and drawing little circles on the floor. Ye Cheng was manning the front desk for the night shift, or at least that's what it looked like. The truth was, under his nurse training manual, he was hiding an old flip phone.

"Which is more authoritative, bananas or oranges? I bet a lot of you guys are curious about that question, so today let's break it down together..."

Hell yeah, it's that same classic brainless filler content, the exact type of clickbait garbage you see on every lazy clickbait video. Ye Cheng was glued to it, watching happily as the wrinkles in his brain slowly smoothed out, he was this close to turning as dumb as a koala...

This is great, I could watch this all day...

Tap tap tap. A flood of heavy footsteps came rumbling onto the first floor. They were well-trained, the sounds were low and steady, moving fast straight towards where Ye Cheng was.

Tang Jianjun, all bandaged up, led a group of men right past him. They checked every single room on both sides of the hallway as they went, opening doors one by one, then closing them again, and before long they were right in front of Ye Cheng.

Tang Jianjun led his team off to search the other side, while another regiment commander was assigned to this section.

"Hello, have you spotted any suspicious individuals?" The regiment commander asked Ye Cheng with a serious, stern look on his face.

Ye Cheng shook his head. "No, sir! Everything here is totally normal!"

"Good. Thanks for your hard work." The regiment commander quickly led his men off to check the next area...

There were plenty of other two-person guard posts just like the one Ye Cheng and Emperor Bro were manning. They had to search every single one of them one by one. At least until the logistics team pulled up the security camera footage, that was the only way they could track down the "humanoid monster" that had snuck inside the military base.

Right then, Emperor Bro was still squatting off to the side, drawing circles on the ground and questioning his entire life…

"Wait for me, wait up, how can none of you know how to respect the elders and take care of the young… My legs are so short, can't you slow down a little and wait for me…"

The little nephew was huffing and puffing as he trotted along behind the group.

He'd thought sticking close to his second uncle would keep him safe, but his second uncle had taken off so fast that he'd lost sight of him in no time. The patrol squad in front of him was the last remaining team still searching the hospital.

If he lost track of them too, he'd be all alone out here! And if he ran into that weird monster he'd seen earlier all by himself, he'd be in for a world of hurt!

The thought made the little nephew pump his short little legs even faster. Come on, stupid legs, move faster!

The blaring alarm was so loud that it drowned out the little nephew's shouts. The patrol squad sped away and left him far behind, and in the blink of an eye, the hallway was completely empty except for him.

The little nephew: "…"

Whoosh, a cold draft blew right past, and the little nephew felt a chill creep up his spine. Nooo!

In the middle of his panic, he spotted a reception desk not far away. Grabbing onto that last sliver of hope, he sprinted over on his short legs, only to find Emperor Bro squatting on the floor by the desk drawing circles.

The little nephew: "???"

It was their first time ever meeting, but for some reason, he felt a strange sense of familiarity and closeness coming off this guy. Is this what people call fate?

But… he also couldn't help but feel a little bad for him. This guy definitely looked like he'd been put through the wringer a whole lot.

"Hey, don't be sad, I'll give you a candy." The little nephew walked over, patted Emperor Bro on the shoulder, and pulled a piece of candy out of his pocket.

"Thanks, kid, you're such a good person, I— holy crap, where did a little kid come from!"

Emperor Bro had been all touched that someone was comforting him, and he'd reached out to take the candy to say a proper thank you, when it suddenly hit him that something was very wrong. There was no way a random kid should be in this military facility!

Wait a minute… a kid who could sneak in here definitely wasn't some ordinary little brat.

He must be some big shot's kid!

In a daze, Emperor Bro pictured his future self getting promoted left and right, raking in the cash, and climbing straight up the career ladder. He got so excited he could barely contain himself.

"Little guy, you must be lost, right? Don't be scared, big brother will keep you safe!" Emperor Bro struck a heroic pose, ready to play the little nephew's personal bodyguard.

His mind was already wandering again, imagining how the kid's high-ranking dad would show up any second now, see him protecting the kid, and shower him with praise and favor, shooting him straight to the top.

Hell yeah, this is the best break ever!

The little nephew looked at Emperor Bro like he was some creepy weirdo, and took two big steps back. "I don't think that's necessary. I'm just gonna rest here a second, my second uncle's gonna come pick me up soon."

Second uncle?

When he heard that title, Emperor Bro got even more hyped. This kid was a total jackpot!

The little nephew could see the guy in front of him getting weirder and weirder by the second, so he decided to go find somewhere else to rest. That's when he noticed another orderly standing off to the side…

Wait a second, that back looks exactly like his uncle-in-law.

Not sure, let me get a better look…

"Uncle Ye, what are you doing here!"

The little nephew's tiny eyes went wide as saucers, and he froze staring at the man who looked like he was hard at work, but was actually watching brain-numbing short videos to slack off.

The videos were so dumb they'd turned his brain completely mushy, so much so that he didn't even notice the little nephew creeping up on him, and got caught red-handed.

"Huh? Uncle Ye, what uncle Ye?" Ye Cheng recognized the voice, turned his head left and right to look around, then glanced down… and locked eyes with the little nephew, staring at each other in total silence.

Ye Cheng: "…"