I am a Walmart shopping bag!
That one sentence shocked the Head Maid for a hundred years. Now the Head Maid was completely dumbfounded, looking utterly stupefied. It seemed she needed some Brain Platinum supplements.
What on earth was this guy in front of her saying? Was this guy even human?
It was only then that the Head Maid began to seriously size up the divine being before her who claimed their gender was a Walmart shopping bag. Just where did this guy come from, and how did he even get to Blue Star?
Just as the Head Maid was questioning her life choices, Ye Cheng had already pulled out his phone and opened the screen to call the police.
Head Maid: "???"
He's serious!
This won't do!
If the police got involved, things would become extremely troublesome. As the parties involved, the three of them would definitely be summoned. Even if the Head Maid could bail them out quickly, it would still take at least half an hour.
And most importantly, if they ended up at the police station, this matter would definitely reach their Madam's ears. Their Madam was already furious right now; if this news broke now...
Head Maid: "!!!"
Absolutely not!!!
Ye Cheng obviously wouldn't have thought that such a simple action right now would provoke the Head Maid, who was already backed into a corner, and become the final straw that broke her.
With lightning speed, the Head Maid snatched Ye Cheng's phone and tossed it into the "dimensional pocket" on her chest.
Hmm... it's a bit cold.
It all happened too fast. Before Ye Cheng could react, the phone in his hand was gone, leaving his hand empty. Conversely, an object cannot simply vanish or appear out of thin air; it only transfers. His hand was empty, so the Head Maid's... was full.
Finally, Ye Cheng's gaze settled on the "dimensional pocket" on the Head Maid's person.
Ye Cheng: "..."
Ye Cheng hesitated, then spoke: "Uh, about that..."
The Head Maid shivered, quickly adapted, then became full of confidence. Holding onto Ye Cheng's arm, she spoke assertively.
"What are you going to do? If you dare lay a hand on me, I'll call the police!" The Head Maid threw Ye Cheng's own words right back at him.
Ye Cheng: "..."
Their roles had reversed. Ye Cheng never expected the boomerang to come back so fast. Just moments ago, they were engaged in a magical duel, and now his opponent had outmaneuvered him.
He lost. He lost completely... You want to call the police? Fine, go ahead. But I'm a woman. You'd better hope your gender really is a Walmart shopping bag.
Damn!!!
This was the first time Ye Cheng had encountered such a troublesome opponent. Whether it was the young lady or the guild president, they all had bottom lines. But this poker-faced Head Maid in front of him simply didn't possess such a thing as a bottom line!
"Alright, I admit defeat at this point. Let's each take a step back. You give me back my phone, and I'll give you back your young lady," Ye Cheng laid out his terms.
The Head Maid sneered: "It's not up to you now!"
As she spoke, she tightened her grip on Ye Cheng's arms a bit more, as if afraid he would pull away and run.
Ye Cheng: "..."
"For someone as unscrupulous as you to be born is truly a feat among heroes. Just tell me, what will it take for you to let me go? I admit defeat," Ye Cheng said, putting on a resigned look.
Head Maid: "..."
Although Ye Cheng was clearly insulting her, for some reason, coming from his mouth, the words felt a bit off, almost as if he was genuinely praising her... it was just a very strange feeling.
Coming from anyone else, these words would be derogatory and mocking, but from Ye Cheng's mouth, the mockery seemed weaker, while the sense of praise and appreciation felt stronger.
What a strange guy...
Actually, it wasn't that the Head Maid wanted to stay deadlocked like this; she simply had no other choice at the moment. She was certain that if she let go or compromised, Ye Cheng would toss their young lady aside like trash, just like he did before.
Then their young lady would start crying again. That absolutely couldn't happen. She could only hold on like this, wait for their young lady to finish biting and let go, and then...
"Wait until our young lady lets go, then I'll return your things," the Head Maid spoke after a moment of silence, her face slightly flushed, her eyes somewhat unnatural.
After all... this kind of threat, and especially threatening someone in this manner, was a first for her. It felt... weird.
But, things had come to this point, and there was no turning back. She could only persist in her error!
"When will your young lady let go?"
"I don't know."
"You don't know?" Ye Cheng's eyebrow twitched, and his heart sank.
"Mhm, I don't know," the Head Maid nodded.
Ye Cheng: "..."
"What if your young lady doesn't let go all night? Just hug like this all night?"
The Head Maid nodded: "Yes."
"Then you'd better call the police, because I'm going to start harassing you," Ye Cheng directly gave up, his eyes turning wicked as he looked at the Head Maid holding him with the gaze of a lecher.
"I see you are still quite charming! Thanks for the gift from Mother Nature!" Ye Cheng even added a pre-meal prayer ritual.
Head Maid: "???"
After Ye Cheng's series of actions, it was the Head Maid's turn to panic. If it were anyone else, she would have assumed they were just bluffing and didn't have the guts. But if it was Ye Cheng...
The Head Maid's pupils contracted. She closed her eyes, hugged Ye Cheng tightly, and pressed her body firmly against his chest—doing this to prevent Ye Cheng from having more space to do anything to her.
This combo move left Ye Cheng speechless.
He was defeated. How could there really be such a lunatic? Damn it, I'm about to harass you, and you still won't let go?
Damn!!!
Is there any semblance of humanity left?!
Ye Cheng seriously suspected the Head Maid in front of him had been brainwashed, willing to sacrifice her own reputation just to keep him immobilized for a few minutes.
Ye Cheng was completely out of ideas. He sighed: "Fine then, give me your phone."
The Head Maid waited nervously with her eyes closed for a long time, only to find nothing strange had been added to her person... Finally coming to her senses, she breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness, she hadn't fallen victim.
Coming back to her senses, she heard Ye Cheng's voice from beside her. Phone?
The Head Maid suddenly opened her eyes: "Don't even think about it!"
"Then give me back my phone," Ye Cheng said calmly.
Head Maid: "..."
"What do you want a phone for?" Knowing she wasn't in the right, the Head Maid's tone softened a bit, not as forceful as before.
"For what? Can't I watch some videos? Or should I just stand here doing nothing? You don't know when your little creature here will let go. We can't just stand here all night, can we?" Ye Cheng said with a look of utter exasperation.
The Head Maid thought about it; what Ye Cheng said made some sense. It wasn't really right to make him stand there all night doing nothing. In the end, she compromised.
"In the pocket on the left side of my waist. Get it yourself," the Head Maid said. Even now, she was unwilling to let go of Ye Cheng, fearing he might try some trick.
Fortunately, things weren't as the Head Maid had imagined. Ye Cheng really just wanted to watch some brain-rotting short videos and had no other intentions.
"In your left pocket, right? Got it." Ye Cheng agreed casually, then used his one remaining free hand (the other being restrained) to fumble around the Head Maid's waist.
The Head Maid seemed to think of something, her already anxious heart tightening further... This weird guy, he wouldn't take this chance to secretly...
"Whoa, you're actually a premium Fruit phone user, and the Pro Max version too!"
Ye Cheng's astonished voice came from beside her. Holding the pristine white, supreme-status Fruit phone, his eyes were full of envy.
Head Maid: "..."
It seemed... she had overthought it.
Soon after, Ye Cheng was happily scrolling through brain-rotting short videos on the Head Maid's supreme-status Fruit phone at the front desk, occasionally letting out inexplicably dumb-sounding, not-very-bright chuckles from the window.
"Hehe, nice, love watching this..." Ye Cheng felt like if he said much more, he'd start drooling.
Head Maid: "..."
Is this guy even human?
The two of them maintained... oh, no, the three of them maintained this bizarre posture and balance in the hotel lobby. The Head Maid and Ye Cheng had reached an equilibrium that neither could break.
At least, this balance could be maintained until the Head Maid's Fruit phone battery died.
The Head Maid breathed a sigh of relief. This wasn't so bad; at least their young mistress was safe... She looked down at her own young lady, still clinging to Ye Cheng's leg, and fell into a somewhat pensive silence.
Surely, she wouldn't really cling on all night, would she?
A double meaning there—their young mistress was clinging to Ye Cheng's leg, and she was clinging to Ye Cheng's arm, and yet... Ye Cheng wasn't even happy about it, insisting on watching his phone. Sigh.
All balances are eventually broken. Not by Ye Cheng, nor by the Head Maid... So who then? So hard to guess!
"Ow-woof!" Xia Tongxin, who had been quiet for over ten minutes, suddenly "came alive" erratically. With considerable force, she moved to a new spot and gave Ye Cheng another bite.
Ye Cheng: "..."
"OW!!!"
"You little brat!!!" Ye Cheng said with a "gentle" smile on his face, preparing to kick away a certain pink-haired, pink-brained little creature. Seeing this, the Head Maid hurriedly threw herself forward, using her body to block Ye Cheng.
"You can't!"
"Don't be silly, lady. I'm going to beat this little thing to death today. Not even Jesus could stop me, I said it!" Ye Cheng's attitude was resolute!
"I'll compensate you! I'll give you money!" the Head Maid almost shouted, terrified that Ye Cheng would act if she spoke too slowly.
The determined look in Ye Cheng's eyes gradually faded, replaced by one of pure innocence and clarity.
"Hahaha, you should have said so sooner! Look at all this trouble. We're all family here. If the young mistress feels like taking a couple of bites, let her! Hahaha, by the way, Green Bubble or cash?"
Head Maid: "..."
end. Thus one must continue to cultivate, and become a saint or great emperor, in order to prolong one's life. Chen Xia, however, completely reversed this. Since his transmigration, he has gained immortality, and also a system that awards him with attribute points for every year he lives. Thus between the myriad worlds, the legend of an unparalleled senior appeared. "A gentleman takes revenge; it is never too late even after ten thousand years." "When you were at your peak I yielded, now in your old age I shall trample on you." - Chen Xia
s the Eldest Princess, renowned for her cold and aloof detachment, became the most docile of lambs, obeying his every command without question. But when the final move was played on the chessboard, as Gu Chenghan seized everything and ascended on the verge of apotheosis, that very Princess suddenly embraced him from behind, her tone carrying a dependence never heard before: "Wait... you haven't yet... commanded me to love you forever." Gu Chenghan froze abruptly. She... hadn't been hypnotized?! ... [The Eldest Princess's Diary] [When my soul was extracted, becoming the sole spectator outside my own shell] [At first, there was overwhelming fury, until I saw] [How he used my sword to effortlessly shatter my inescapable doom] [How he wielded my authority to eradicate fatal conspiracies I had never even detected] [Like a deity, he rescued me from the deep mire I was trapped in] [If not for those annoying vixens, he and I would be a match made in heaven] [I think I am ill, gravely ill] [My deity should belong to me alone] ... "Hypnosis? Oh, it succeeded, my dear Master." "Only this time, it's my turn to hypnotize you."
grated, and just when he finally managed to get into an elite academy, he discovered that he actually had a system, and the way to earn rewards was extremely ridiculous. So for the sake of rewards, he had no choice but to start acting ridiculous as well. Su Cheng: "It's nothing but system quests after all." But later, what confused Su Cheng was that while he was already quite ridiculous, he never expected those serious characters to gradually become ridiculous too. And the way they looked at him became increasingly strange... (This synopsis doesn't do it justice, please read the full story)
o a martial world and obtained a system that allowed him to draw one entry per year. Unfortunately, all he drew were useless white-tier entries. The probability for high-quality entries was extremely low, with the highest-tier mythic entry having a mere 0.001% chance! To increase the probability, he had to improve his martial realm, but he lacked the innate talent for cultivation. At the age of eighteen, Chen Yi fell into the hands of a gang and was forced into hard labor. Just as his life seemed destined for a bleak end, on his 18th entry draw, he actually pulled a mythic entry—Simulator! In the simulation, he could also draw one entry every year that passed, and upon ending the simulation, he would inherit all entries and his martial realm! In his first simulation, Chen Yi struggled desperately just to survive, knowing that living one more year meant one more entry draw! Finally, with hair turned white, he drew the entry he had longed for—Low-Grade Innate Talent! "Hahaha! Don't bully the old and poor! Time to cultivate and inherit my cultivation base!" ... From then on, Chen Yi continuously simulated and drew entries, his martial realm soaring higher and higher! Epic, legendary, and even mythic entries were gathered into his collection one after another! "What demon race or devil race? What dark turmoil? I don't know anything about that. They just charged at me screaming 'How can you possibly ascend to immortality?!' and got stuck to my fists, unable to be shaken off. Blind spots, speed bumps... go talk to my simulator. We're all struggling to survive out here. I'm trying so hard, so how are they still alive?"
