I Want You for Your Age, I Want You for Not Bathing

The bridal chamber fell silent in an instant.

The uproar, chaos, brawling, and life-or-death struggle from moments ago seemed to have been frozen by the press of a button.

Almost simultaneously, Village Chief Li Quan and his son, Li Laicai, leaped out of the melee. Even Liu Cuihua stopped crying and stared upward in bewilderment.

But the silence was shattered in an instant.

Village Chief Li Quan panicked. “An army?”

“A banner bearing the character ‘Zhang’?”

“Good heavens! Could that be the legendary General Zhang Shi?”

“That bastard’s a demon king!”

“This is a remote, impoverished backwater. What could he possibly want here?”

“What the hell is he here for?”

Village Chief Li Quan was terrified.

He was simply frightened by the sight of soldiers—especially when those soldiers were led by someone notorious as a walking calamity.

His son, Li Laicai, was equally panicked. “I heard that General Zhang Shi hates lovesick fools more than anything. No matter how far they run, even to the ends of the earth, he’ll hunt them down.”

“Damn it, could he have come because of this?”

Village Chief Li Quan hurriedly reassured himself. “No, no, that can’t be it. It definitely can’t…”

After a pause, he looked toward Chen Liang. “Young Master Chen, it won’t be because of this, right?”

At the same time, Li Laicai and Liu Cuihua also turned to look at him. In fact, nearly every villager did the same.

Every gaze in the room converged on Chen Liang.

Chen Liang, however, remained completely composed. With a faint smile, he said, “What do you mean, it won’t be because of this?”

“Old man, your own son just said that the person General Zhang Shi hates most is a lovesick fool—especially one whose foolish infatuation violates morality and proper family relations.”

“So tell me…”

“Do you really think General Zhang Shi will let you two off?”

“Obviously…”

“General Zhang Shi came specifically for you!”

Boom!

It was as though a thunderclap had exploded over Village Chief Li Quan’s head. His face filled with horror, which quickly turned into fury.

“Chen Liang, what the hell are you playing at?”

“Weren’t you the one who told me that Cuihua and I truly love each other, and that Lord Duke doesn’t interfere in genuine love?”

“What—what do you mean General Zhang Shi has come now?”

Chen Liang smiled faintly again. “That’s right. Lord Duke doesn’t interfere with true love. But are you and Liu Cuihua truly in love?”

“Liu Cuihua is several decades younger than you. Is she really sincere toward you? What does she sincerely want? Your advanced age? The fact that you don’t bathe?”

“Besides…”

Chen Liang turned his head and glanced at Li Laicai. “This Liu Cuihua is also involved with your son. Tsk… now that’s truly horrifying!”

Chen Liang had not even finished mocking them when chaos erupted outside. The newcomers had arrived at astonishing speed. Almost in the blink of an eye, a scar-faced general with a rather ferocious appearance strode into the room.

His cold gaze swept across the crowd, and everyone lowered their heads. The newcomer then let out a hearty laugh.

“Fellow villagers, there’s no need to be afraid. I am Zhang Shi, a general under Lord Duke.”

“I heard that your Xipo Village has a love story capable of shaking heaven and earth, so I came a long way especially to hear it for myself. I won’t interfere. I’m only here to satisfy my ears.”

Zhang Shi laughed heartily. Without needing anyone to point them out, he identified everyone clearly from their clothing alone.

“You must be the village chief, right?”

“The one who stole his own son’s woman for the sake of love?”

“You’ve violated moral and social norms!”

He turned toward Liu Cuihua.

“And you must be that slut. Hah! The world is truly full of wonders.”

“You didn’t spare his son, and you didn’t spare him either.”

“Excellent, excellent. Lord Su Jin of the Demon Suppression Bureau needs talents like you.”

He then turned to Li Laicai.

“If I’m not mistaken, you’re the village chief’s son?”

“Hah. Greedy for beauty, you toyed with someone’s affections and then abandoned her. You’re no good either.”

“A tiny village like this actually produced three outstanding specimens like you. No wonder the Demon Suppression Bureau’s prison is practically empty these days. So you’ve all gathered here instead.”

“Well, what are we waiting for?”

“You’re all coming with me!”

With Zhang Shi’s imposing shout, Village Chief Li Quan, Li Laicai, and Liu Cuihua immediately went pale and began trembling from head to toe.

One after another, they dropped to their knees with three heavy thuds and frantically begged for mercy.

“General, I was wrong! I was wrong!”

“General, spare my life! Please, General, I don’t want to go to the Demon Suppression Bureau!”

“General, I swear I’ll never dare do it again!”

…

Zhang Shi gave a cold laugh. “You know you were wrong now? Too late. I ran all this way. You think I’m going to let you off? Don’t make me laugh!”

With a wave of his hand, his guards charged forward like wolves and tigers, seizing all three of them and dragging them away.

As their voices faded into the distance, the farce Chen Liang had deliberately provoked finally came to an end.

Only then did the villagers of Xipo Village gradually recover from their shock.

“General Zhang Shi has arrived. Does this mean our happy days are finally here?”

“That’s right! The village chief has been taken away. No one will bully us anymore. Our Xipo Village is sure to prosper from now on!”

“General Zhang Shi, will you station troops here?”

“I feel like our tomorrow is finally about to arrive!”

…

Before coming, Zhang Shi had carefully studied the letter and had also sent scouts ahead to investigate the village. He already had a fairly thorough understanding of what had happened in Xipo Village.

He knew that he had essentially been used as a weapon.

Even so, he was still rather astonished.

He had never expected someone to use the proclamation he had issued to set up an elaborate scheme, luring him here from far away. It made him intensely curious about the person behind it.

Of course, since he had traveled so far, he naturally had to give the villagers of Xipo Village an answer.

“Xipo Village, I will not station troops here. However, I have already reported this matter to Lord Duke. Lord Duke will ask His Majesty to issue an edict warning the local magistrate.”

“From now on, no one in Xipo Village will be able to run roughshod over others—unless they no longer want to keep their head.”

“As for the village chief’s family…”

A sharp glint flashed through Zhang Shi’s eyes.

“Guards, seize all their wealth, land, and property. Send it all to the army. From this day forward, I want them stripped of every bit of wealth they obtained!”

The order sparked another wave of cheers from the villagers of Xipo Village.

The dark clouds and oppressive gloom that had loomed over their heads for decades vanished the instant General Zhang Shi arrived. The sun shone brilliantly in their place.

The villagers all dropped to their knees.

Chen Liang knelt along with them, but then shouted, “General Zhang Shi, wait!”

“Please leave a portion of the village chief’s property behind.”

Zhang Shi abruptly turned around and looked at Chen Liang.

“Oh?”

“And you are?”

“Right. I heard that a new adviser-like figure had appeared in the village chief’s household, and that he was the one who brought the village chief and Liu Cuihua together. That person is you, isn’t it?”

“Hah. You truly have no regard whatsoever for the Demon Suppression Bureau!”

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