Arrogant before, obsequious after—thinking about it makes one laugh

[Year Sixty, age eighty-four.]

[Drawing entries…]

[Entry drawn successfully!]

[“Free Happy Water” (green, rare): You can obtain one 2-liter bottle of Happy Water every day.]

[Adjust entries?]

[Yes/No]

[You chose yes.]

[You replaced “Cross-Dressing Big Shot” with “Infinite White Congee.”]

[You replaced “Mortal Bone” with “Someone’s Imitating My Face.”]

[You replaced “God of Internal Strife” with “Zilong! Zilong!”]

[Throughout the journey, you kept A-Dou wrapped in the Celestial Emperor’s dudou. That way, even if you suddenly encountered an ambush, A-Dou would remain unharmed.]

[With “Infinite White Congee,” the two of you finally had some proper staple food, instead of subsisting solely on dry rations and barbecued game.]

[Though A-Dou was not yet three, perhaps because he had already been through so much,]

[he knew without being told that he must not cry for no reason, must not throw tantrums, and had to endure it when the journey became uncomfortable.]

[The more obedient the child was, the more heartbroken you felt.]

[“The human race should at least have the right to grow up normally…”]

[You could only hope that the child truly possessed the bearing of a Celestial Emperor, and that one day he would have the chance to slaughter his way across the universe.]

[Of all the things along the journey, A-Dou liked Uncle Ten Thousand Souls Banner the most.]

[He often tugged at the Myriad Soul Banner’s cloth, treating it like a toy.]

[The Myriad Soul Banner was naturally furious.]

[“I am none other than the dignified Human Emperor Banner, the most badass immortal artifact in the human realm! How dare you, you ignorant child, keep tugging me back and forth? What kind of decorum is that? Waaah, grrrahhh!!”]

[However, the angrier the Myriad Soul Banner became, and the louder he shouted, the happier A-Dou laughed.]

[“Hee-hee-hee…”]

[Old Wan was stone-hearted. The child’s innocent, carefree appearance did not stir the slightest ripple in his heart.]

[He was an evil artifact that had slaughtered countless people, after all. The other immortal artifacts were not.]

[The moment the child smiled, the other immortal artifacts immediately became overflowing with maternal love, chattering away excitedly.]

[Demon Refining Pot: “Why are you yelling at him? What’s so precious about that tattered banner of yours? So what if the kid plays with it? Here, A-Dou, play with it—go on, give it everything you’ve got! Your Grandpa Pot’s got your back!”]

[Immortal Binding Rope: “Old Wan, picking a fight with a child? Have some dignity.”]

[Heavenly Dragon Blade: “I look down on artifacts like you the most. Hmph!”]

[Nine Ravens Divine Bow: “Raven-raven loves babies! Raven-raven hates Wan-Wan!”]

[The immortal artifacts all tore into the Myriad Soul Banner.]

[For the sake of maintaining his lofty image, the Myriad Soul Banner could only swallow his anger and endure the humiliation, occasionally managing a few scoldings.]

[A-Dou laughed happily, forgetting all the troubles of the journey.]

[“Uncle Chen, the artifact grandpas are fighting again.”]

[The corner of your mouth twitched.]

[“Call them artifact big brothers. Otherwise, my seniority takes a hit.”]

[Suddenly, the Myriad Soul Banner realized something.]

[“Wait a minute. We artifact spirits aren’t actually speaking. We’re merely transmitting mental fluctuations. It’s understandable that cultivators can hear us through spells or divine sense, but how can this child hear us talking?”]

[You smiled.]

[“You’re only realizing that now?”]

[“Oh my! This is incredible! Could this child truly possess the bearing of a Celestial Emperor?”]

[The Myriad Soul Banner’s attitude changed on the spot. He rolled his cloth into all sorts of shapes to amuse A-Dou, switching instantly from a super-evil artifact into the world’s most devoted chief steward.]

[“Oh, my little master! As long as you’re happy, this old servant is happy from the bottom of his heart! Hey! Look at this—your old servant learned a new trick today~”]

[You: “Old Wan, going from stubborn to obsequious in an instant—isn’t that simply laughable?”]

[The Myriad Soul Banner pretended not to hear you.]

[Before long, you arrived at the place where Taige lived.]

[Halfway up the mountain, you saw Know-It-All still serving out his labor sentence.]

[“You don’t get to eat until you’ve finished spreading all the spirit fertilizer today!”]

[“Senior Taige! I haven’t eaten for three days! Please, just let me have one proper meal!”]

[“You’re a cultivator in the Qi Transformation Realm. What’s three days without food?”]

[“Good grief! Cultivators are people too!”]

[Know-It-All’s miserable cries were answered by a savage beating from Taige’s medicine-pounding pestle.]

[“I’ll do it! I’ll do it! Senior, please don’t get angry!”]

[After Taige left, Know-It-All let out a long sigh and gazed up at the sky at an angle of forty or fifty degrees.]

[“People really can’t afford to make mistakes. Punishment may be late, but it never fails to arrive.”]

[You walked over.]

[“Well, well. You’ve made some progress over the years. You’ve practically become a philosopher.”]

[When Know-It-All heard your voice, he turned around. The moment he saw you, tears of emotion streamed down his face.]

[“Senior! I knew your eyes would always be watching over me!”]

[“Of course. I’m here to take you away.”]

[“Wonderful! I knew there would come a day when Senior wouldn’t abandon me! Though that day came a little late!”]

[“You haven’t eaten for three days? Have something first.”]

[You gave him a bowl of white congee.]

[Know-It-All immediately opened his mouth and poured it all in.]

[“Could I have another bowl?”]

[“Sure.”]

[One bowl followed another until a whole pile of dishes had accumulated.]

[He assumed you were taking them out of a storage pouch, so he did not find anything strange about it.]

[“Hic—”]

[“Full now?”]

[“Yes, I’m stuffed… That hit the spot! I haven’t eaten this well in ages!”]

[“Here, have a digestion pill, so you don’t feel uncomfortable.”]

[“Senior is so considerate.”]

[“You’ve been poisoned.”]

[“…”]

[You told Know-It-All that what he had just eaten was a deadly poison. He would have to take an antidote once a day; if he missed it, the poison would flare up and kill him.]

[“Wait, what? Why, Senior? You haven’t seen me in all these years, and the first thing you do is feed me poison? What did I ever do to you—steal something from you before?”]

[“You’re about to discover a secret. I don’t want you to reveal it, so I had to take precautions. I hope you understand.”]

[“Senior, that’s completely unnecessary! I could never betray you! Even though you’re a despicable—human, I still admire you very much!”]

[“I’m not worried about you betraying me. I’m worried that something might happen to this child.”]

[You turned sideways, allowing him to see A-Dou, who was strapped to your back.]

[A-Dou waved at him. “Hi~”]

[You had, of course, taught him that English.]

[Know-It-All saw the writing on A-Dou’s palm.]

[“It’s that child!”]

[“You know about him?”]

[“Everyone’s heard about him. That old bastard Taige won’t let me leave, but he occasionally sends me to buy things. I heard about it in the market.”]

[“I’m taking him off Blazing Light Star now. I need you to guide us, so we can avoid pursuit and find the safest route directly to the spaceport.”]

[Know-It-All looked troubled.]

[“Senior, this child is a walking disaster. Why put yourself through this…? I—I mean, helping you is the same as declaring war on the whole world…”]

[“Then I’ll leave.”]

[“I’ll help! Whatever concerns Senior concerns me!”]

[That poison pill had Know-It-All completely under your thumb.]

[You took Know-It-All away from Taige.]

[It’s not difficult. Just wait until Taige isn’t paying attention.]

[Know-It-All is a coward. He’s afraid that if he runs away, they’ll catch him and beat him badly. You, on the other hand, aren’t afraid of Taige.]