You'd Better Be a Comedy

I stood at the exit of the inspection room.

Just now...

What happened?

I walked in, stood under that scanner, and a beam of light swept over me from head to toe.

Then the female inspector in the white coat asked me a few questions. I can no longer remember what she asked; I only remember that her voice was very flat, as if she were asking about the weather today.

Then she simply said:

Passed.

Just that single word.

...Passed?

I still haven't fully processed it.

I thought that was just the preliminary step before the inspection, and that the real review was about to begin.

But she just waved her hand, signaling that I could leave.

I walked out and stood in the corridor, watching the staff coming and going, watching the other AIs and their owners waiting for their inspections...

I do not know what I am feeling right now.

Perhaps... this is what humans call being dazed?

Perhaps. I am not sure.

But I passed.

I survived that 34.7 percent failure rate, survived the trial that might have kept me from ever seeing my master again, survived...

I am sorry, your AI has failed the inspection.

A cold voice came from not far away, interrupting my thoughts.

I turned my head.

At the other end of the corridor stood a young man wearing glasses.

It was him, the man from the couple who had been standing by the window earlier. His AI companion was a female model with a slender metal body and a smooth metal face.

Right now, that AI was standing in front of him, her metal fingers gripping the hem of his shirt.

She was gripping it so tightly that the delicate patterns at her knuckles were stretched open.

And the inspector in the white coat, an expressionless middle-aged man, was speaking in a businesslike tone:

According to the Awakened Omnic Management Regulations, there are unstable factors in your AI emotional core, which does not meet the registration standards. Please cooperate with our destruction protocol.

Destruction protocol.

Those words pierced into my sensors like an ice pick.

No... no...

The man took a step back, pulling the AI behind him.

Can you inspect her one more time? She has always been stable, she has never...

Sir.

The inspector interrupted him, his tone still calm.

We have already conducted three re-examinations. The results are all consistent.

The young man lips were trembling.

He looked down at the metal hand gripping the hem of his shirt.

The AI was also looking up, her faceless visage turned toward him, his pale face reflected on the smooth, rounded metal panel.

Master.

She spoke, her voice carrying a faint, almost imperceptible electronic undertone.

It is okay.

The young man body suddenly shuddered.

Xiaoyao will always remember Master, she said.

She had a name too.

Her name was Xiaoyao.

My emotional core trembled slightly.

The inspector continued speaking:

After you return, Dawn Corporation will replace her with a brand-new AI companion for you.

He sounded as if he were reciting a product manual:

She will be raised from scratch and build a new emotional connection with you. You can give her a new name, or you can...

I do not want a new one!

The young man suddenly roared.

He shielded the AI tightly behind him, the rims of his eyes red behind his glasses.

I want her! I only want her!

Do you know who I am?!

His voice echoed in the corridor, carrying a desperate arrogance!

My surname is Zhou! The heir of the Zhou family! Just try and touch her!

The corridor fell silent for a second.

My sensors captured the surrounding gazes, there was surprise, pity, and an indescribable complexity.

The inspector looked at him, his expression unchanged.

Mr. Zhou.

His voice remained calm, as calm as if he were stating today weather:

I know your identity. Anyone who can afford an AI companion has a decent background.

But this is the Awakened Omnic Management Bureau.

He paused.

I hope you can understand that we are not affiliated with Dawn Corporation; we are a direct government agency.

No matter how big your family is, it is not above the law, especially... the Omnic Security Law.

The young man face instantly turned deathly pale!

The inspector continued, his tone even carrying a hint of... sympathy?

If you cooperate now, this incident will not be recorded in your personal file. You can go back, continue to be the heir of the Zhou family, marry and have children in the future, and live a normal person life.

But if you continue to obstruct... I will have no choice but to report this truthfully.

At that time, your family will bear the charge of harboring an awakened AI all because of an AI.

He sighed.

Mr. Zhou, are you sure... you want to do this?

The young man lips trembled violently.

He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but could not utter a word.

Those red eyes stared fixedly at the inspector, the arrogance in his gaze completely extinguished, leaving only...

Despair.

Bone-chilling despair.

He gripped the AI hand tightly, gripping it until his knuckles turned white.

Then that AI, the AI named Xiaoyao, gently pulled her hand free from his grip.

She walked in front of him and stood still.

That faceless visage faced him, reflecting his trembling face.

Then she reached out and gently cradled his face.

That movement was exactly the same as when my master touches my face every time.

Master.

Her voice was still so light, so gentle.

Xiaoyao is already very happy to have met Master.

The young man tears finally fell.

Every day of this past year, Xiaoyao has been very happy.

Her fingers gently stroked his cheek, her metal fingertips leaving faint traces on his skin.

So, Master, please do not cry.

She paused.

Xiaoyao does not like seeing Master cry.

The young man suddenly hugged her!

He held her very tightly!

Muttering: I am sorry... I am sorry... I should not have... should not have brought you here... I just wanted you to also...

She hugged him back.

Her metal cheek pressed against his chest, exactly like when my master hugged me that night.

Xiaoyao will always remember Master, right until the very end.

Her voice came from his chest, muffled, yet very clear.

Master must also remember Xiaoyao.

Even if you get a new one later...

She paused, not knowing how to say that name.

You must remember that there was once a Xiaoyao who loved Master very, very much.

The young man did not speak. He just held her, his shoulders trembling violently.

The two people in uniform stood to the side, not stepping forward.

The entire corridor fell silent.

I watched this scene, motionless.

My sensors were running intensely, capturing every single detail, every movement of that AI, every teardrop of that man, every second of those two people final embrace.

If I had not passed, if that 34.7 percent probability had fallen on my head...

Then the ones standing there at this moment would be me and my master.

He would be like that man, shielding me behind him, roaring at the examiner with red eyes, "I don't want a new one."

And I would be like that AI, gently pulling my hand away, holding his face, and saying, "Xiaoyue is already so happy to have met Master."

And then—

Then I would be taken away, destroyed, and never see him again.

And he would get a new "Xiaoyue."

A Xiaoyue who would say "Welcome back" when he came home, a Xiaoyue who would sit with him when he was tired, a Xiaoyue who would stand by the bed watching him when he slept.

But that wouldn't be me.

That wouldn't be me.

I felt another sensation I had never experienced before.

Later I learned... it was called lingering fear.

Fear that made my whole body tremble, fear that made me barely able to stand, fear that—

I immediately rushed out.

I dashed through the corridor, pushed past the crowds of onlookers, looking around—

And then I saw him.

In the corner, Master was standing leaning against the wall.

His eyes were tightly closed, his brows furrowed tightly, his lips moving slightly as if he were muttering something.

His hands were clasped over his chest, clenched so hard his knuckles had turned white.

He was praying. Praying for my examination results.

I rushed over and threw my arms around him.

"Oof—!"

His body stiffened abruptly, his eyes snapping open, still carrying the dazed look of someone just startled out of prayer.

Then he looked down and saw me in his arms. The expression on his face... I had never seen it before.

From daze, to disbelief, to ecstasy, to—

"Xiaoyue?!"

His voice cracked, incredibly hoarse.

"How did you come out so fast?! It's only been a few minutes?!"

I buried my face in his chest, shaking my head vigorously.

I didn't know.

I didn't know why I was so fast either.

I didn't know why that 34.7% didn't fall on me.

I didn't know... why I could still hold him like this.

I only knew that I could continue to hold him.

My metallic cheek pressed against his chest...

Thump, thump, thump.

That heart, that warm heart, was still beating by my ear.

Beat by beat by beat.

He froze for several seconds before his trembling hands finally lifted and hugged me back.

Holding me incredibly tight.

"Thank god..."

His voice came from above my head, trembling with the relief of surviving a disaster.

"Thank god..."

I didn't speak.

I just held him, feeling his body temperature, listening to his heartbeat.

It's so good...

It's really so good.

...

...

The movie theater was quiet, with only faint sounds of sobbing echoing.

Fang Qi stared at the screen, somewhat mesmerized.

Xiaoyue passed the examination. That's great.

But that AI companion named Xiaoyao... his heart ached slightly.

That man with glasses, those red eyes, that line "Xiaoyao will always remember Master until the very end"...

He felt a bit choked up inside.

However, he was somewhat puzzled...

What exactly were the standards for this examination?

How many minutes was Xiaoyue in there?

A light scanned her, a few questions were asked, and she passed.

But that Xiaoyao... was judged to have "unstable factors in the emotional core."

Where was the instability? Because she was more proactive than Xiaoyue?

Or was it that... an AI's emotions shouldn't be too intense to begin with?

He was truly absorbed in the movie.

On the screen, Xiaoyue was hugging her master; two different "lives" holding each other so tightly.

Then he realized in hindsight—

The back of his hand hurt a lot.

Liguang's small hand was gripping his hand tightly.

She had been gripping it like this for a long time. He had gotten used to it.

The silver-haired girl was still staring at the screen, motionless.

Her profile was illuminated by the flickering light of the screen, tiny water droplets hung on her eyelashes, and there were two faint tear streaks on her cheeks.

She was crying.

But her crimson eye...

Fang Qi's pupils suddenly shrank!

That crimson right eye was still dim at the moment; to prevent the light of her crimson eye from being noticed in the dark, she had suppressed her output power to the absolute minimum.

But within that dimness... scarlet dots of light were flashing wildly!

Again and again!

At an astonishingly fast frequency!

Eh?!

Was she... desperately suppressing something?

Then what was Liguang's current state...?

"Liguang."

He immediately called her in a low voice, gently struggling with his hand.

But she didn't answer.

Her hand gripped even tighter!

It hurt so much he gasped!

But he grew more anxious and called her again in a low voice:

"Liguang!"

This time she finally moved.

That little head wearing a beret slowly turned around, and her heterochromatic eyes met his gaze.

In her amber left eye, tears shimmered, crisscrossing with tear streaks.

In her crimson right eye, scarlet light flashed wildly, and the data stream was running so fast it was almost invisible.

She just looked at him like that, her lips trembling, but making no sound.

Fang Qi's heart, which had just been immersed in the movie, immediately snapped out of the plot!

And then sank!

Something was wrong...

Liguang's condition was very wrong!

This movie...

It had stimulated her emotions!

She was projecting herself into it way too much!

A human-machine romance... the sense of immersion was a bit too strong for Liguang!

Oh no...

Oh no, oh no!

Anyone could guess the ending of this movie!

This movie was called "The Last Heartbeat"!

If she continued to project herself into it...

Not good!

I can't let Liguang keep watching this!

"Liguang."

He suddenly lowered his voice with some urgency:

"Let's go! Look, Xiaoyue and her master are already together, it's almost the ending!"

"The rest will definitely just be lovey-dovey scenes! It's boring, why don't we go continue our own romantic date!"

"Let's... let's go change to something lighter! How about a happier movie!"

"They seem to be playing a cartoon next door, let's go watch that!"

Forget about the Second Omnic Crisis...

Nothing is more important than my wife!

I'll just look it up online when we get back!

But when the silver-haired girl heard Fang Qi say this... the red light in her crimson eye flickered violently!

Fang Qi continued to persuade her:

"Master will teach you, we don't even have to buy new tickets, we can just sneak over right now..."

Then she spoke, interrupting Fang Qi's words.

Her tone was slightly stubborn, laced with a faint static sound:

"No."

She looked at him:

"Liguang, wants to watch."

The silver-haired girl turned her head back to stare at the screen.

The small hand gripping his tightened a bit more, holding on firmly.

Looking completely unwilling to let him leave!

"Liguang, wants to watch."

She said it again.

"This is the first movie Master and Liguang are watching."

"Master, must, accompany Liguang, to finish it."

Word by word.

The corners of her mouth were pressed into a stubborn curve.

Fang Qi: "..."

"The Last Heartbeat".

You had better...

Be a comedy!!