Future historians would only record Fang Zhiyi as a foolish and debauched ruler, who fraternized with the lowest eunuchs, indulging in pleasure all day, while he, Sima Ci, steered the affairs of state, salvaged the dynasty, and earned his place in history!
"Your Majesty, the decision is yours to make," Sima Ci had already made up his mind. What trouble could a bunch of eunuchs possibly stir up? Besides, many of them were on his payroll, working for him.
Fang Zhiyi inwardly sighed in relief, though his face still showed delight. "Really? Thank you so much, Teacher!"
Yet, on that very day, upon returning home, Sima Ci received a secret report: the Emperor had accidentally fallen into the water while playing with the eunuchs and fallen ill.
Sima Ci frowned. Was Fang Zhiyi really this fond of amusement?
Soon after, a letter arrived before him—written by Fang Zhiyi—explaining how overjoyed he had been, leading to his accidental fall. He estimated he wouldn’t be able to attend court for a while and thus entrusted state affairs to his father-in-law, filling half the letter with flattery.
No one disliked hearing praise. Though Sima Ci knew Fang Zhiyi was buttering him up, it was done so smoothly. To him, Fang Zhiyi was still sensible—he knew which side his bread was buttered on.
From that day onward, the imperial harem grew much quieter. Sima Ci even visited Fang Zhiyi, and seeing his sickly appearance, he felt a pang of concern. After all, Fang Zhiyi was the most suitable candidate they had found in years—he mustn’t die. Immediately, he dispatched several imperial physicians to tend to the Emperor.
Meanwhile, palace informants relayed that Fang Zhiyi, bored in bed, had discussed work arrangements with a few eunuchs. His personal eunuch, Fuhai, was appointed head eunuch—literally titled "Head Eunuch," overseeing all eunuchs. Worried Fuhai might be overworked, Fang Zhiyi assigned him two deputies, then selected a few others as "executors"—essentially those tasked with organizing entertainment for the Emperor. Below them were the attendants, whose duties remained unchanged, followed by the ordinary eunuchs.
Hearing this, Sima Ci merely laughed. This Emperor was indeed foolishly endearing. At least he wasn’t cruel—otherwise, future history books would surely brand him the worst tyrant of all time!
Fang Zhiyi, however, knew the hardest step had been taken.
The newly appointed eunuchs standing before him had been handpicked by Fuhai—trustworthy men. After being rewarded with trinkets from the Emperor’s chambers, they knelt and kowtowed fervently in gratitude.
"Master, what next?" Fuhai whispered.
Fang Zhiyi sighed. "Now, we endure."
Eunuchs in the palace were granted leave—those with nearby families visited home, while those from afar wandered the streets, buying goods.
But this time, three eunuchs left the palace with grim expressions.
They exchanged the Emperor’s rewards at an antique shop, then split up.
When Wei Xun’s door was knocked upon, he was startled. Seeing a eunuch—disguised in commoner’s clothes but unmistakable to a seasoned palace guard like himself—standing there left him even more bewildered. What business could a eunuch have with a mere Imperial Guard captain?
"Lord Wei, my master sent you a reward," the eunuch said plainly, dropping a pouch of silver before leaving, ignoring Wei Xun’s stunned silence.
The same scene played out in two other households, leaving all recipients equally confused.
Back in the palace, Fang Zhiyi studied a small ledger. With these eunuchs, he was no longer blind—they were everywhere, privy to every rumor and secret in the palace.
"Commander Wang Zhong embezzles from his subordinates? Is this true?"
Fuhai glanced at the young eunuchs playing outside before answering, "Yes, Master. Eunuch Lin often mingled with them."
"And the names on this list—can they be trusted?" Fang Zhiyi’s finger traced each one.
Fuhai hesitated. "I’m not sure. Eunuch Lin compiled it, but these men all resent Wang Zhong. Still, with the Sima family backing him, they only dare complain in private."
Fang Zhiyi’s finger paused at one name. "Deputy Commander Li Li—he’s not from the Sima faction?"
Fuhai shook his head. "No. Li Li served the late Emperor for years and was nearly promoted to commander, but... after His Majesty’s sudden passing, the matter was shelved. Then Wang Zhong was transferred from the border army to take the post."
"The border army? No wonder he brought his corrupt ways here," Fang Zhiyi muttered, tapping his fingers.
"Fuhai, I need you to take a risk."
That day, Fuhai hurried out of the palace, his robes bulging, his face a mix of worry and excitement.
Following the Emperor’s instructions, he showed Li Li a secret letter handwritten by Fang Zhiyi. Li Li’s expression shifted from shock to fury, then hesitation—and finally, a flicker of greed.
Fuhai’s heart pounded. He had no idea what the letter contained.
Li Li suddenly laughed and clapped Fuhai’s shoulder. "Eunuch Fuhai, you’ve chosen your master well."
Swallowing hard, Fuhai nervously produced an imperial jade pendant. "Lord Li, this is also a gift from His Majesty."
Li Li stood straight, accepting it reverently. "My gratitude to the Emperor!"
From then on, items began disappearing from Fang Zhiyi’s chambers—given away or sold—much to Fuhai’s dismay. These were valuable treasures!
Fortunately, after Fang Zhiyi whined to his father-in-law about his empty coffers, Sima Ci generously replenished the imperial purse, halting the fire sale.
Sima Ci remained unsuspecting. His spies reported nothing amiss—just eunuchs bringing trinkets from outside—so he focused on state affairs and the distant war, overwhelmed by his duties.
Unbeknownst to him, Fang Zhiyi had orchestrated "accidents" for those very spies—broken fingers, "unfortunate" nail losses—leaving them all subdued.
Fuhai had never imagined so many methods of torment existed. His fear of Fang Zhiyi grew. Even if he weren’t the Emperor, just one of his schemes would have the censors railing for days.
One spy had "accidentally" shattered the Emperor’s favorite teacup. Dragged away by Eunuch Lin’s men, he returned pale as a ghost, refusing to speak. Days later, another cup broke, and his companion finally understood his suffering.
Fuhai mastered the carrot-and-stick approach. Handing out silver notes to the two spies, with Eunuch Lin looming behind him, their surrender was instant.