I'm Sorry

It doesn’t matter at all.

Yes, at this point, it truly doesn’t matter.

Gu Luo nodded slightly, lowering his gaze, his heart a whirlwind of emotions. He was almost certain now that he and Shu He had shared some childhood history.

But time had passed too long ago, and he couldn’t recall a thing.

Back then, his heart had only held space for Little Man. Becoming the leader of the kids, playing with one companion after another—it had all been just to bring some liveliness into her frail world.

Little Man, due to her fragile health and her mother’s sudden disappearance, had been listless day after day. The sterile scent of hospital disinfectant had become the backdrop of her life, and her personality grew increasingly timid and fearful.

Apart from him, she hardly dared to interact with anyone else.

Every day after class, Gu Luo would rush to Little Man’s classroom to keep her company, terrified she might suffer even the slightest harm.

Later, he even tried taking her along to make friends, but without exception, it ended in failure.

He knew this couldn’t go on forever, so he began meeting one playmate after another, organizing game after game, all just to fill Little Man’s world with a little more laughter.

And because of his height, which stood out among his peers, and his handsome features, he became what they called the “king of the kids.”

Lost in these memories, Gu Luo drifted into a daze.

Perhaps it was during those days of tirelessly searching for friends for Little Man that he had crossed paths with Shu Ning and Shu He.

And judging by Shu He’s strange attitude at first, there must have been a story between them—one he had since forgotten.

But…

As Shu He had just said,

it didn’t matter anymore.

Whatever it was, it no longer mattered.

Gu Luo wouldn’t press for answers. He would simply treat it as a fleeting encounter from the past.

Nothing more.

He couldn’t betray Shu Ning, who had always been so accommodating toward him.

The two of them had fallen in love at first sight, and as their story unfolded, their feelings had deepened into mutual affection.

What had Shu Ning ever done wrong?

Gu Luo wasn’t foolish. He knew that when Shu Ning uttered those words—“I understand”—she had already sensed something but chose to tolerate and accommodate, never confronting him outright.

In this relationship, they were both drowning in clarity.

Often, they let things slide, refusing to dwell too much, deceiving themselves.

And the harsh truth was, when people truly wanted to preserve a relationship, they had to keep yielding, yielding, yielding, yielding, yielding, yielding…

And yielding again.

Using concession after concession to maintain this hard-won bond, only to lose themselves in the process without realizing it.

Many of their actions during this time might have been wrong.

But caught in the whirlpool of emotions, they had no time to reflect.

They could only sink deeper, step by step.

“I’m sorry.”

After a long silence, Gu Luo could only force out these three heavy words.

Hearing this, Shu He turned toward the window, gazing at the full moon hanging in the sky, and spoke softly:

“You don’t need to apologize, brother. In the end, I was the one who forced my way into your relationship with sister.”

“I was always the third wheel.”

“It’s my fault.”

“It’s mine too.” Gu Luo also looked out the window, his voice low and hoarse. “I’ve been indecisive all along, hurting both Shu Ning and you.”

“You’re right. I’m just an irresponsible scumbag.”

“Yes, you are a scumbag.” Luo Shuhe slowly turned back to face him.

Her eyes were slightly red, but she maintained a calm expression as she said:

“And a rotten scumbag who can’t even commit to being one properly.”

Gu Luo met her gaze, wanting to offer comfort, but every word felt hollow. In the end, all he could manage was another heavy:

“—I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say sorry.” Luo Shuhe averted her face, quickly wiping her eyes before stepping closer to Gu Luo. She reached up, pinching his ear gently but firmly, and spoke earnestly:

“Sister has always been pitiful, never feeling secure. To earn even a scrap of love, she’s pushed herself relentlessly.”

“She excels in studies, music, even gaming—not because she’s naturally gifted, but because she works harder than anyone.”

“No one knows that as a piano prodigy, she would practice day and night, sacrificing sleep just to win a minor competition. She’d never played games before, but to join you, she must have squeezed out every spare moment to train.”

“And these past two months… you’ve healed her.”

“...So seeing the two of you find happiness together, I’m truly glad.”

“I… entrust sister to you now.”

Having said this, Luo Shuhe sniffled, then slowly spread her arms, offering a tender smile.

Tears glistened at the corners of her eyes.

Gu Luo felt as though his chest might collapse from the suffocating weight.

Shu He’s smile now was identical to the one she had worn during their date.

And back then, what had he said?

—He had told her to stop imitating Shu Ning.

Those words now felt like a blade, stabbing deep into his heart.

His heart.

So stifled.

So pained.

At this moment, Gu Luo wanted nothing more than to cast everything aside and be with Shu He—to pull her into his arms, let her bury her face against his chest, and cry her heart out.

But after a long silence…

His emotions in turmoil…

Reason finally overcame desire.

All of it.

Ended here.

With this thought, Gu Luo slowly rose to his feet, his movements sluggish, as if his body were a rusted machine.

Luo Shuhe took a step forward.

No grand gestures—just a gentle embrace.

Her voice, soft enough to shatter a heart:

“Be happy with sister… I’ll always be here for you.”

“Mm.”

Gu Luo tilted his head up slightly, blinking rapidly several times.

His hands twitched, wanting to return the hug.

But after lifting them slightly, he let them drop back to his sides, stiff and unmoving.

They remained like this for a long, long time.

So much to say, yet no words came.

Time seemed to freeze in place.

A thousand unspoken sentiments dissolved into silence.

In the end, it all condensed into just two lines:

“Go back, brother. It’s chilly tonight—don’t forget to cover up well.”

“Okay.”

Luo Shuhe stepped back, arms falling to her sides, her eyes crinkling as she smiled.

Gu Luo turned abruptly, strode forward, fists clenched, teeth gritted.

One step.

Two steps.

Three steps.

Four steps.

Five steps.

Six steps.

Half a step left.

So the distance from the desk to the door was six and a half steps.

Gu Luo didn’t know why this thought occurred to him now.

His hand shot toward the doorknob at top speed, yet he couldn’t help twisting it with the lightest touch.

It wouldn’t budge.

Just like this, he couldn’t turn it.

He didn’t want to leave.

Didn’t want to walk away from Shu He.

Didn’t want it to end like this.

Gu Luo stood frozen like a statue.

Unable to move forward.

Unable to turn back.

How much time passed?

Suddenly, he spun around violently.

One step.

Two steps.

Three steps.

Four steps.

He reached Luo Shuhe in an instant, pulling her fiercely into his arms, inhaling the scent of her hair with desperate greed.

All his pent-up emotions erupted at last.

“Shu He, I love you.”

“I’ve always, always, always loved you.”

"I kept lying to myself—telling myself I only liked your body, that if I didn’t take the initiative, there’d still be a way out. I lied about not falling for two girls at once, lied that by doing nothing, I could keep both you sisters by my side."

"I really, really like you."

"From the bottom of my heart."

"I like it when you kiss me forcefully."

"I like how you always protect me."

"I like your icy demeanor."

"I love it when you smile."

"I adore your little devilish nature."

Gu Luo held Luo Shuhe tightly, trembling, as if trying to merge her into his very being.

Luo Shuhe bit her lower lip, struggling to suppress the emotions threatening to burst free, and clung to him just as fiercely.

They embraced.

Held on desperately.

As if nothing else mattered.

But in the end, they had to let go.

After what felt like an eternity, Gu Luo pressed his forehead against Luo Shuhe’s shoulder, his voice choked with tears:

"I'm sorry... Shu He, I’m so sorry..."

"I like you... but I shouldn’t have said it now..."

"I’m sorry..."

"Right now... I can only love Shu Ning..."

Luo Shuhe closed her eyes, took a deep breath, her thumbnail nearly digging into her palm. She gently patted his back and whispered soothingly:

"It’s okay, it’s okay. We both know feelings have their order."

"Come on, big man, why the tears? Look at me—I’m not crying."

"Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. If you ever decide to fully embrace being a scoundrel, come find me."

"When that day comes, I’ll wear whatever you want me to."

"If you’d like, I’ll even dress up in my sister’s clothes."

"........."

Luo Shuhe comforted Gu Luo for a long, long time.

Only after he left the room late at night did she finally break.

Tears streamed down her face.

She didn’t wipe them away. Instead, she opened the wardrobe, crouched down, and pulled out an old black box from the very back.

Its surface bore the marks of time.

Luo Shuhe carefully lifted the lid.

The first thing she saw was a photo on top.

The backdrop was Ruixue Xingcheng Shop. In it, a young girl clung playfully to a boy’s arm, her lips curved in a blissful smile.

She slowly picked up the photo.

Tears rolled down her cheeks.

Falling into the box.

Landing on stacks of photos, letters, and train tickets.

............

............