I Wish It Was a Knife Stabbing Me in the Back

"We actually have a gay guy in our class? For real?"

The ponytailed girl's eyes sparkled with excitement, practically bouncing in her seat, her gaze burning with gossip-fueled curiosity.

"......"

Huang Anlu nodded silently, her glasses glinting as she swept a glance across the classroom full of bewildered boys. Adjusting her frames, she turned and walked away.

With confirmation in hand, the ponytailed girl eagerly scanned the room until her eyes landed on the class PE rep, who was currently perched on Situ Wenyao's lap.

Her eyes instantly lit up like fireworks, and she clapped a hand over her mouth in delight—as a seasoned fujoshi, this was an absolute treasure trove for her.

At the same time, countless pairs of eyes turned toward the scene.

The PE rep leaped to his feet in a panic, flexing his impressively toned biceps in a desperate attempt to prove his masculinity. "Dudes, I'm 100% straight—straighter than a ruler! Just earlier, I was saying Gu Luo's sister is the prettiest, wasn't I?"

No sooner had he spoken than a girl chimed in, mischief dripping from her voice:

"Then why were you sitting in Ha... I mean, Situ Wenyao's lap?"

"Yeah, yeah, you’re always sitting on his lap. Don’t tell me there’s nothing going on."

"Spread the word! The PE rep’s gay and fighting Feng Youqing for her man!"

"......."

What started as playful teasing from the girls soon escalated as more and more boys joined the chaos.

Cornered and furious, the PE rep pointed at one of the loudest hecklers and shouted, "He’s the real gay! Look at his thigh-high white socks—practically pulled up to his crotch!"

Instantly, all eyes swiveled toward the accused.

"Seriously?!"

The boy flinched, looking around wildly before pointing at a chubby classmate munching on snacks nearby. "Him! Look at his round face and that little beard—he’s the one!"

Once again, the crowd’s attention shifted.

"Huh?"

The snack-eating boy froze mid-chew, scrambling to defend himself. "The class monitor’s from Sichuan—he’s the gay one!"

And just like that, all eyes landed on the monitor.

Twice victimized before breakfast, the monitor nearly spat blood. He slammed his hands on the desk and stood up. "First of all, Sichuan has nothing to do with Tianjin! Tianjin got kicked out of Sichuan ages ago!"

"Second, you guys believe anything you hear. Huang Anlu just threw out a random comment, and you’re running with it?"

"Third, even if there is a gay guy, so what? Look at Situ Wenyao—he’s a guy, and he still dated a..."

Before he could finish, an English dictionary came flying like a shuriken, smacking him square in the back of the head.

A dull thud echoed.

The monitor was down.

"Looking to die? Just because we’re from the same hometown doesn’t mean I won’t hit you!" Feng Youqing spat, glaring at his "corpse."

Situ Wenyao’s eye twitched at the sight. Sure, he’d survived her beatings since childhood, but the monitor might not be so lucky.

Poor guy.

Three seconds of silence.

"Monitor, I’ll revive you with a 30-second video—wake up!" The PE rep, ever the loyal desk mate, rushed over and shook him, but it was too late. The monitor had already departed this world.

"Well then, guess I’ll inherit your snacks."

With a sigh, he reached into the monitor’s desk.

"The hell you will..."

The monitor miraculously resurrected, one hand clutching his throbbing head while the other blocked the snack theft. After clearing his throat, he reiterated:

"Don’t listen to Huang Anlu’s nonsense."

Just then, the ponytailed girl by the window countered, "How is it nonsense? Huang Anlu’s the deputy head of the student council and super serious—she wouldn’t lie."

"Totally. The boys in our class are always glued to each other. There’s probably more than one gay guy here."

"And the monitor’s trying so hard to deny it—suspicious much?"

"Yeah, yeah!"

"......."

Never ones to miss out on drama, the girls—especially the fujoshis—were all too happy to stir the pot. Truth didn’t matter; they just wanted chaos.

Meanwhile, the boys operated on the principle of "better safe than sorry." The idea of a "hidden gay" among them was legitimately terrifying.

After all, 98% of straight guys are deathly afraid of gay men.

A simple but horrifying example: Waking up from a nightmare like, Wait, why’s the poop going back in?!

In an instant, boys who’d been slinging arms over shoulders recoiled, eyeing each other warily.

The PE rep, desperate to clear his name, pressed his back against the wall in a defensive stance. "Nobody better come near my butt!"

He then rounded on the monitor. "You let a ghost into our class! As the monitor, how could you not know?!"

"Find out who it is, now!"

"You..."

The monitor took a deep breath, unable to tell if these idiots were genuinely scared or just milking the joke.

"If you’re gonna stab me in the back, at least use a knife," another boy declared, flexing his straight-guy credentials.

"Screw that, I’m never vacationing in Tianjin!"

"My sacred butt is for pooping only!"

"My butt can have hemorrhoids, but that’s IT!"

"I’ll joke around, but if you’re serious, we’re settling this on the golf course."

"I’m not napping after class until this guy’s exposed."

"......."

Amid the chorus of hyper-masculine proclamations, the round-faced, bearded boy chimed in: "I’m definitely straight, so my partner has to be straight too."

Dead silence.

Every head turned toward him.

"Uh... I mean, my partner has to be a straight girl," he corrected, face burning.

While the class descended into madness, Gu Luo happily munched on snacks and remarked to Feng Youqing beside him, "Our class is so entertaining."

"Put fujoshis and meme-loving boys together, and this is what you get," Feng Youqing shrugged. Then, with a playful glint, she whispered:

"Speaking of which, Luo, with so many girls crushing on you, how come you’ve never dated? Take Lu Xuexue—she might as well have ‘I love Gu Luo’ written on her forehead. White thigh-highs, twin tails, rich little lolita... and you’re not tempted?"

Lu Xuexue?

Lu Xuexue and Gu Ximan are the real deal.

Gu Luo hesitated, searching for a vague reply, but Feng Youqing pressed on:

"Luo Luo... you wouldn’t… like boys, would you?"

"Pfft—"

Gu Luo nearly choked, waving his hand dismissively. "Stop messing around. There’s a girl I like."

"Huh??!"

Feng Youqing’s eyes instantly lit up as she eagerly pressed, "Who? Who is it?"

"Well… you’ll find out next week."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I’ll definitely tell you next week."

Now that Gu Luo knew he and Luo Shuning weren’t step-siblings, he planned to openly pursue a relationship without hiding anything.

As the "ghost hunt" game in Class 8, Grade 2 continued to stir up excitement, time quickly passed until the long break between classes.

The atmosphere in the classroom grew increasingly tense.

The boys didn’t even dare turn their backs to their classmates when going to the bathroom. Even the badminton fanatics made sure to walk at the back of the group, using their rackets to shield their backsides if necessary.

Even the legendary "38th parallel" made a comeback, serving as the boys’ "safety line."

It was pure entertainment for the chaos lovers.

Meanwhile, since Gu Ximan and Lu Xuexue had formed a romantic alliance, Lu Xuexue returned after a month with homemade sweets in hand.

The boys in class watched with envy—especially the class monitor and the P.E. rep, both hopeless siscons without younger sisters, who practically wanted to murder Gu Luo on the spot.

Situ Wenyao, on the other hand, was already sprawled over his desk, thoroughly enjoying the scene.

"Brother Gu, I made a lot of cookies today. Let’s all share them!"

Lu Xuexue placed the box on Gu Luo’s desk before sitting in Shen Yue’s seat.

Gu Ximan promptly plopped right into her lap.

The two sweet-scented beauties snuggled close, creating a picture-perfect, heartwarming moment.

Gu Luo, who knew the inside story, couldn’t help but ship them.

Feng Youqing nibbled on a cookie while studying Lu Xuexue, wondering if she might be the girl Gu Luo liked.

Just then, Gu Ximan suddenly asked, "Qing-jie, why does the class feel so weird today?"

"Well…" Feng Youqing couldn’t help but laugh awkwardly before recounting the morning’s absurd drama in detail.

"......"

Gu Ximan was at a loss for words, so she changed the subject. "By the way, why does Situ-senpai always lie on his desk? And why does he twitch sometimes?"

"Ugh, probably because I’ve been beating him up since kindergarten. Must’ve knocked a few screws loose."

Feng Youqing pulled out her phone, flipping through childhood photos of the two and their "sweet" past—where "hitting is affection, scolding is love."

"Wow, so cute!"

Gu Ximan’s eyes sparkled as she looked at the chubby little Situ Wenyao and the fierce little Feng Youqing in the pictures.

She was clearly shipping them now.

Then she took out her own phone and opened a locked album—filled with photos of her and Gu Luo at different ages.

"Aaaah, Little Man and Luo Luo were so clueless back then!" Feng Youqing was practically glued to the screen.

Seeing how much she loved them, Gu Ximan grinned. "I have tons of old photos at home. I’ll bring them for you next time."

"Stinky Gu Luo was always the ringleader back then, making tons and tons of friends."

............

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