I'm Just a Little Tired

What is it like to communicate with machine spirits?

It’s magical.

Subtle.

Searching for that unique spark of life on cold metal feels like stepping into another dimension, interacting within a world that belongs solely to machines.

Xu Xi didn’t think such interactions were a bad thing.

Based on the effects of machine spirit affinity, every machine spirit he encountered was kind, offering all kinds of help with utmost sincerity.

Ailei’s machine spirit, in particular, had evolved through this connection, transforming into a higher-dimensional form that Xu Xi could barely comprehend—something truly divine.

But.

Everything has its limits.

“Ever since I decided to develop a warp engine, I’ve been constantly communicating with machine spirits, establishing connections with all kinds of them without pause.”

“At this frequency, at this intensity…”

“It’s only natural that my body can’t keep up. The fact that I’m merely stiff and sluggish is actually a milder outcome than I expected.”

Xu Xi looked at his palm.

The lines on it spread like neural pathways, intricate and interwoven.

When his fingers bent and moved, the palm lines shifted under the pressure, changing their patterns.

The machine spirits were like the fingers of a hand, separated yet connected. When they became active, responding to Xu Xi’s resonance and interacting with him,

As the “palm,”

Xu Xi, without realizing it, was subtly influenced by the machine spirits, undergoing changes that were hard to notice.

Xu Xi simply chuckled and shook his head, marveling at the intensity of his work, and then dismissed the side effects.

He was a man destined to die.

Side effects were not something he considered.

Xu Xi only knew one thing.

He needed to continue resonating with machine spirits, harnessing their power, to fight for a sliver of hope in the face of a despairing tomorrow.

“But, how should I put it?”

Xu Xi stood up, tilting his head slightly as he gazed at the dim artificial sunset in the distance, his tone filled with emotion:

“Whether it’s a world of the supernatural or a world of science fiction,”

“Human life,”

“is equally fragile, like a bubble in a dream, bursting at the slightest touch…”

The afterglow of the sunset bathed the blue-purple sea of flowers.

A strong wind blew, and the blue-purple glow shimmered with orange-yellow light, the leaves rustling against the petals, creating a continuous, mesmerizing wave.

Those were the meteor flowers.

One of the flower species brought from the Federation planet.

Xu Xi remembered that Ailei loved these flowers, so he had specifically set aside an area to plant nothing but blue-purple meteor flowers.

The dazzling symbolism of these flowers stayed with him.

Loyalty, freedom, and eternal love.

A symbolism that suited Ailei perfectly.

The first was Ailei’s self-perception; the latter two were what Xu Xi wished for her to possess.

“What is love…?” Ailei had once asked, holding Xu Xi’s arm, her voice filled with confusion.

Xu Xi couldn’t provide an answer, for true love has no fixed definition.

Later,

Ailei stopped asking.

Perhaps she had found her own answer, or perhaps she no longer felt the need to know.

“Master.”

A voice came from behind, pulling Xu Xi out of his thoughts.

It was Ailei, arriving at this moment.

“Why have you been staring at me?” the girl asked, puzzled.

“It’s nothing. I just suddenly thought that Ailei looks even more beautiful today,” Xu Xi forced a smile and reached out to pat the maid’s head.

Ailei felt something was off, but her ears twitched rapidly, and she soon forgot about it.

…

[You’ve noticed something wrong with your body and identified the true cause.]

[It’s the very foundation of your survival.]

[Your ability to resonate with machine spirits, which has carried you through the wasteland world to this day.]

[If you want to avoid the side effects, the best course of action is to stop resonating with machine spirits and let your body and mind recover naturally.]

[However, this would significantly slow down your technological research.]

[You look up at the sky and, without hesitation, make your decision: to continue resonating with machine spirits until the end of this simulation.]

Life now.

Is somewhat painful.

A hopeless struggle in a cosmic prison.

A closed, monotonous universe.

The dehumanizing resonance with machine spirits.

At this point in the simulation, the gains no longer outweigh the sacrifices.

But Xu Xi, true to his nature, didn’t care much about such things.

“Before the simulation ends, I must research as much technology as possible, completing the final gaps in the antimatter engine, energy decay engine, and gravitational technology.”

“This is the only way.”

“The only way to create a chance for Ailei to escape.”

Xu Xi muttered softly to himself, diving back into his busy research. To avoid worrying his loyal maid, he hid the growing dullness in his senses.

Xu Xi’s reasoning was simple.

He couldn’t stop the experiments, which meant the dullness in his body and mind would only worsen.

In that case, it was better to keep it from Ailei.

To spare her from concern.

Researching technology, living his daily life, and continuing to blow up Zerg heads.

Xu Xi believed his acting was flawless. Though his emotional responses were fading, he could still control his expressions, smiling or sighing at the right moments.

But even this perfect facade seemed to have been seen through by Ailei.

At some point,

Gradually, slowly, in every moment of their interactions, those calm silver-blue eyes were always fixed on Xu Xi.

Until one day, the maid spoke up.

“Master, are you ill?”

Her voice was calm, her expression neutral, but her shoulders trembled uncontrollably as she spoke.

“I’m fine, Ailei.”

“I’ve just been a bit tired from all the experiments lately.”

Xu Xi forced a smile, controlling the muscles in his face, and reached out to stroke Ailei’s hair as he always did.

Was that really all?

In the faint, flickering light, Ailei’s silver-blue mechanical eyes revealed an inner ring of light, pulsing at an abnormal frequency.

“Please… don’t do this anymore. You need to rest.”

Ailei’s voice trembled, her vocal module clogged with emotion.

“I will, Ailei. Later.”

Xu Xi spoke gently, agreeing to the maid’s request, but the “later” he mentioned had no specific timeframe.

The room was dimly lit.

But a ray of golden, scorching sunlight streamed through the window, casting a long, slanting glow.

It fell on Ailei’s hair, draping her in a sacred golden light.

Xu Xi stood opposite Ailei, his hand moving through the light, gently stroking her head, watching as the cold machinery of her form perfected its humanity, growing brighter and more radiant.

Xu Xi felt a deep sense of joy at this.

In contrast,

He himself was growing duller.

Xu Xi’s emotions were fading bit by bit, influenced by the machine spirits on the starship, slowly becoming less and less like a normal person.

“…I believe you, Master.”

Ailei, under Xu Xi’s touch, felt the warmth on her head. She trembled, trying to smile back at him, but her smile twisted horribly.

It was ugly, so very ugly, her features trembling, worse than a cry.