Can You See My Changes

Only a few breaths had passed before Ye Feng wanted to push Xie Yuyan away from his shoulder. But Xie Yuyan seemed to have anticipated his next move and straightened herself up again.

"Sorry, Ye Feng. You had to see me make a fool of myself again."

"Xie Yuyan, you..."

Ye Feng opened his mouth but found himself at a loss for words, eventually letting out a sigh. Then, he began analyzing the situation.

"So, Xie Yuyan, what you're saying is that ever since you changed your attitude, you've been staying at Li Mucheng's estate?"

"Yes."

Xie Yuyan nodded slightly, speaking in a calm tone.

"Actually, when you fell into the river that day, I once thought about following you. It was Li Mucheng who..."

"What?! Xie Yuyan, what did you just say?!"

Ye Feng had no patience to hear the rest of her explanation. The moment he heard Xie Yuyan's intentions, a surge of fury ignited within him.

"What do you mean by 'following me'? Explain yourself clearly!"

Xie Yuyan hadn’t meant to provoke him, but she knew that if she didn’t stir his emotions now, his detached gaze would soon turn him into an unfeeling machine. If that happened, all the efforts she and the others had made would be in vain.

"I... I'm sorry, Ye Feng... I misspoke."

A look of panic flashed across Xie Yuyan’s face.

"What I meant was that no matter what, I had to find you."

"Even now, Xie Yuyan, you still refuse to be honest? What you really meant was that if I died, you wouldn’t want to live either, right?"

Noticing how Xie Yuyan’s eyes kept darting away, avoiding his gaze, Ye Feng grabbed her shoulders and forced her to face him.

"N-no, that’s not..."

"Xie Yuyan, if you don’t tell me the truth now, from this moment on, we’ll be strangers. I won’t care about anything you do ever again."

"Ugh..."

Xie Yuyan’s body trembled as if her soul had been ripped away, and she collapsed weakly into Ye Feng’s arms.

"I... I’m sorry, Ye Feng... I just didn’t want to lose you. I was willing to do anything to bring you back."

"Tell me, was what I guessed about your thoughts correct?"

"...Yes."

"And after that, what did you do?"

"After that, Li Mucheng gave me a room. Every day, I stayed there, refusing to eat or drink, trying to escape the foolish things I’d done by wallowing in grief. But in the end, it was Mucheng who woke me up and made me pull myself together to search for you."

"......"

Listening to her words, Ye Feng slowly helped Xie Yuyan sit up, his stern gaze never leaving her.

"Why would you do this? It’s all in the past. If you could just learn to let go, you wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. For someone like me, why..."

"I can let go of anything—except you!"

Xie Yuyan cut him off before he could shoulder all the blame, then tightly grasped his hand.

"Ye Feng, do you really think things would just pass? Didn’t you realize that it was your presence that saved us? Whether it was me in danger, Shen Mengli’s poor health, or Su Yuxin and Li Mucheng needing companionship—it was because of you that we found a better path."

"This wasn’t the worst-case scenario because of you. It was because of you that we had a brighter future."

"I... I’m so confused..."

Ye Feng clutched his head, his expression pained as he gritted his teeth against the mental anguish.

"Ye Feng!"

Seeing him like this, Xie Yuyan abandoned reasoning with him. She immediately stood up, moved behind him, and began massaging his temples with both hands.

"It’s okay. Just leave it to me. Relax. Everything will be fine."

Miraculously, with Xie Yuyan’s help, Ye Feng’s discomfort gradually faded. As time passed, the tense atmosphere softened into quiet calm.

"Xie Yuyan... I-I’m fine now. You can stop."

"It’s alright. Let me keep going for a while. This is the only thing I can do for you right now."

Hearing this, Ye Feng fell silent, quietly savoring this fleeting moment of peace.

"If only..."

"Shh."

Before Ye Feng could continue, Xie Yuyan gently hushed him, leaning close to his ear and whispering,

"Let the past stay in the past. Right now, I just cherish this time with you. That’s enough."

"Xie Yuyan... I know your heart isn’t as stubborn as before, but things are different now..."

"Ye Feng, please tell me what you truly feel. This isn’t the real you."

Perhaps because she knew him so well, or perhaps because their past interactions had forged an unspoken understanding, Xie Yuyan cradled his head gently and spoke softly.

"Xie Yuyan, you’re oversimplifying things. Even if what happened on the cliff never occurred, I still couldn’t..."

"How do you know without trying? Ye Feng, you’ve already taken so many steps. Why stop right before the finish line? If things are truly set in stone as you say, why not test it yourself? See if reality matches what’s in your mind."

"It wouldn’t be fair to you all! And I’ve already..."

"I love you. That’s all that matters."

"Xie Yuyan..."

She held his head against her chest, bending down as if to melt his reservations with her warmth.

"I love you, Ye Feng. I know your heart must be in turmoil right now. But we’ve been changing too. I believe that before the end comes, we’ll find a way to overcome any obstacle. So please, give us some time, okay?"

"Xie Yuyan... how could you..."

Ye Feng stared at her in disbelief. The once-proud Xie Yuyan was now humbling herself before him. What had happened to her during their time apart?

"Ye Feng, love can change a person. It’s only now that I truly understand what that means. So... please, just look at me. Watch how I change, okay?"