Starting with "You there" guarantees a clown.

Renmin University women's dormitory.

Li Zhiyi returned to her dorm room.

After being examined by Chen Zhi for half an hour, she felt weird all over.

Li Zhiyi pushed the door open. Her roommate, Jiang Qianxue, who slept in the bed opposite hers, was applying a black mud mask, her legs dangling off the edge of the bed.

"Oh, the beauty of our Renmin University Law School is finally willing to come back?" Jiang Qianxue tossed aside her sunflower seeds and gave a wicked grin. "Confess, did you go out fooling around with your top-scholar childhood sweetheart?"

Li Zhiyi's cheeks burned, and she kept her head down, trying to duck into the bathroom.

"N-no, we just went to eat."

"Eat?"

Jiang Qianxue slid down the ladder nimbly, blocking Li Zhiyi's path, and leaned in to sniff her.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, and you still say it was just eating?"

This commotion drew the attention of the other two roommates in the dorm.

Three women made a whole play, instantly surrounding Li Zhiyi in the middle.

"Confess! Leniency to those who confess, severity to those who resist!"

"Exactly! Zhiyi, your progress bar is moving way too slowly, it's killing us."

Completely defenseless against their siege, Li Zhiyi could only blush and nod gently.

"Yeah... I went out with him."

"I knew it!" Jiang Qianxue slapped her thigh and asked excitedly, "Hurry up and tell us, how far did things progress today?"

As she spoke, she mischievously held out both hands.

She formed a circle with her left index finger and thumb, and then made a suggestive gesture.

"Did you do that?"

Li Zhiyi stared at the gesture for a long time, completely failing to understand it.

"Which?" she asked, looking bewildered.

Jiang Qianxue rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Oh my god, a home run! Clapping!"

Now Li Zhiyi understood.

That shameful image instantly rushed into her mind, along with the memory of Chen Zhi treating her illness in the hourly hotel room.

"N-no!"

Li Zhiyi shook her head like a rattle drum. "We really didn't do that..."

Even though Chen Zhi had massaged her for a long time, it was limited to her upper body, and Chen Zhi had said it was so their future children would have food to eat.

"Tch—"

A collective sigh of disappointment echoed in the dorm.

"No way, Zhiyi, you two have been childhood sweethearts for so many years, can't you put in a little more effort?"

Another roommate poked her forehead in frustration. "Such a top-tier man, if you don't hurry up and seal the deal, what if he gets snatched away by some coquettish bitch out there?"

Li Zhiyi lowered her head with a guilty conscience.

Actually... it seemed like a part of him had already been snatched away.

No, wait, it seemed more like she was the one poaching someone else's turf.

"Then... you must have kissed at least, right?" Jiang Qianxue didn't give up, settling for the next best thing.

Li Zhiyi pursed her lips, her mind flashing back to the kiss at the East Gate of Renmin University, and also in the hourly room...

She shyly covered her face and let out a soft "Mhm" through her fingers.

"We... kissed."

"Woohoo!!!"

The dorm room instantly erupted.

The female hooligans slapped the table in excitement.

"French kiss? Did he use tongue? How did it feel? Was it soft?"

"Oh gosh, stop asking!"

Li Zhiyi was so embarrassed she wished the floor would swallow her whole. She pushed past them, grabbed her washbasin, and rushed into the bathroom.

She slammed the door shut with a bang.

Leaning against the door, Li Zhiyi looked at her flushed face in the mirror and reached up to touch her still-tingling chest.

Even though her roommates were teasing her.

Her heart was filled with sweetness.

Chen Zhi said he would come to treat her every day from now on.

Did that mean she would get to see him every day?

At this thought, Li Zhiyi couldn't help but smile foolishly at the mirror.

"Hehe."

...

Meanwhile.

Peking University, Yuanpei College, Room 404 in Building 36.

When Chen Zhi pushed the door open, he found the atmosphere today to be a bit bizarre.

Guo Yang and Zhang Tianyang, those two guys, were leaning over Li Zicong's desk on the left and right, their butts sticking out. And Li Zicong was currently slumped in his chair, clutching a phone. His brows were furrowed tightly, his forehead was covered in sweat, and his finger hovered over the screen, trembling for a long time but not daring to press down.

Three heads were crowded around Li Zicong's desk, pointing at a phone screen with expressions as serious as if they were discussing state affairs.

"I don't think that works, it's too greasy."

"Then you do it? You do it, you do it!"

"Stop arguing, let me think... How about sending a meme?"

Chen Zhi tossed his down jacket onto his bed and went over.

"What are you guys doing? Watching porn without me?"

Hearing Chen Zhi's voice, Li Zicong turned around and grabbed Chen Zhi's hand as if he had seen a savior.

"Brother Zhi! My dearest brother! You're finally back!"

"Quick, quick, quick, emergency rescue! This problem is too hard, I don't know how to do it!"

Chen Zhi felt dizzy from being shaken. "What problem? Advanced Math or College Physics? I don't know how to do those either."

"It's not homework!"

Li Zicong shoved the phone right under Chen Zhi's nose. "It's a girl! A living, breathing girl!"

Chen Zhi took a closer look.

It was a WeChat chat interface.

The other party's profile picture was an artsy young woman holding flowers, and the contact name was saved as Tsinghua Academy of Arts - Lin Xiaolu.

"What's the situation here?" Chen Zhi was a bit confused.

The chubby Guo Yang explained from the side, gloating:

"This guy went for a stroll at Tsinghua next door this afternoon. God knows what dumb luck he had, but he found this girl's campus card on the sports field. When she came to get her card, this guy actually had the guts to ask for her WeChat."

"And then?"

"And then it's been two hours since he got back, and this coward hasn't managed to squeeze out a single word!"

Guo Yang pointed at Li Zicong and mocked him, "We've been analyzing it all this time, drafting it eight hundred times, but he still doesn't dare to hit send."

Chen Zhi laughed.

Li Zicong usually drove a BMW and wore a Rolex Submariner on his wrist. Who would have thought that when he actually met a decent girl he liked, he would be this innocent.

"Brother Zhi, you're our Peking University's Casanova. You have a lot of experience, hurry up and teach me what to say for the first sentence!"

Li Zicong looked at Chen Zhi with a devout expression. "I want to leave a deep impression on her, ideally something that shows my humorous, witty, and profound side."

Chen Zhi looked at Li Zicong's small, expectant eyes and felt speechless.

Experienced?

What experience did he have?

Lin Wanwan was his childhood sweetheart who threw herself at him.

Li Zhiyi was someone he tricked into his hands when they were kids.

Pei Ningxue and he knew each other inside out; they were good bros, good siblings, good father and daughter, good...

In short, if it really came down to proper techniques for pursuing girls, Chen Zhi felt he might not even be as good as Guo Yang, the king of big talk.

But looking at the admiring gazes of his roommates, he had to keep up the act.

Chen Zhi coughed and put on an unfathomable look.

"With this kind of thing, the key is keeping it simple."

Chen Zhi patted Li Zicong's shoulder. "The more you try to show off, the more deliberate it looks. The girl is pretty, so she definitely doesn't lack simps. She's long grown tired of all those flashy opening lines."

Li Zicong nodded repeatedly as he listened. "Makes sense! A master is a master! So what do you say I should send?"

"Just send two words."

Chen Zhi held up two fingers. "Hello."

"Or perhaps, 'You there?'"

"Huh?"

Li Zicong froze. "Just... just that? Isn't that a bit too simple?"

"That's called returning to basics!" Chen Zhi bluffed with a straight face. "You just picked up her card, it's not like you're proposing to her. Why make it so grand? Being casual makes you look relaxed and confident."

Although Li Zicong felt unsure, out of blind faith in Chen Zhi's persona as a romance master, he hesitantly typed out two words in the chat box.

You there.

"Send it! What are you dawdling for!"

Guo Yang, who was standing to the side, couldn't watch this anymore. Taking advantage of Li Zicong's inattention, he reached out and poked the screen.

Swoosh.

The message was sent.

Li Zicong let out a miserable shriek, almost throwing his phone away.

"I'm doomed, I'm doomed! It's sent!"

He stared intently at the screen, holding his breath.

"Why hasn't she replied yet? Is she asleep? Or taking a shower?" Li Zicong scratched his hair anxiously.

Guo Yang casually twisted the knife from the side: "Starting with 'You there' guarantees you're a clown. I think you're screwed this time."

Right then.

The phone screen suddenly lit up.

"She replied, she replied!" Li Zicong shouted excitedly, hurriedly raising his phone.

The next second.

The entire Room 404 dorm fell speechless.

Below the green chat bubble, a red exclamation mark had appeared.

Along with a line of small gray text:

Lin Xiaolu has enabled friend verification. You are not yet his or her friend. Please send a friend request first...

Pfft—

Guo Yang slapped his thigh, laughing so hard tears came to his eyes. "Hahahahaha! I'm dying of laughter, a red exclamation mark!"

Li Zicong was completely petrified. He stared blankly at the red exclamation mark, as if he could hear the sound of his own heart breaking.

He sat in his chair muttering to himself, his eyes hollow. "What did I do wrong? I haven't even said a single word to her... Do I really look that much like a creep?"

Chen Zhi sighed, walked over, and patted Li Zicong on the shoulder. He consoled him in a profound tone, "It's a pity, bro. You should have started by chatting about her family background."

The dorm room was once again filled with a cheerful atmosphere.

Just then, the phone in Chen Zhi's pocket suddenly vibrated.

He took it out to look.

It was a WeChat message from Pei Ningxue.

Pei Ningxue: Are you coming to Wanliu Academy tonight, or should I go to your dorm to catch you?

Looking at Li Zicong, who was still wailing over the red exclamation mark, Chen Zhi suddenly felt that sometimes, being single and getting deleted by a crush wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

At least he didn't have to be like him, jumping out of the frying pan only to land in the fire.

"Brothers, I just remembered there's still a bug at the company I haven't fixed."

Chen Zhi grabbed his down jacket, throwing it on as he retreated toward the door. "I'm not coming back tonight, you guys go to bed early!"

"Hey? Brother Zhi, where are you going?"

"To work overtime!"

Chen Zhi dropped that sentence, pulled open the door, and rushed out into the cold wind.