Fooling Around

It wasn’t pleasant in the slightest.

Zhu Yan was on his way to the art students’ new base, staring at the pile of private messages from Yang Zhanbai on the Player Forum. He felt like his head was going to explode sooner or later.

From the information Yang Zhanbai had provided, Zhu Yan knew that his bounty was still increasing.

“Zhu Zeyu, are you really all right? I know you’re not dead yet, but this is an emergency!”

“I’ve come out of the dungeon. Qiu Lingkai insists that you’re a Hunter suspect. He says it’s better to kill the wrong person than let you go.”

“No matter how I explain it, he won’t listen.”

“Hey, whatever you do, don’t come back after reading this! He really wants you dead!”

Right. Right.

In short, Qiu Lingkai had gone completely insane trying to kill Zhu Zeyu. He had even pinned an entirely fabricated charge on him.

Zhu Yan deeply regretted not taking a photo of that human table while he was with Madam. If he had, he could at least have produced some evidence and muddled through by claiming that the system had made a mistake and sent him to another dungeon.

But now he had no choice but to make up a lie.

“I was dragged into another dungeon.”

Zhu Yan replied to Yang Zhanbai, “You don’t need to worry about me. If I’m not mistaken, this should be the Endless Kitchen.”

The Endless Kitchen.

It sounded like a dungeon of extraordinary difficulty—one where even surviving would leave you battered and broken.

Using it as an excuse meant that, even if Zhu Yan failed to respond promptly, and even if he had wasted too much time at Fangcun Mountain, Yang Zhanbai and the others would have trouble noticing anything unusual.

Besides, Zhu Yan had already witnessed the horror creatures’ behind-the-scenes control of the dungeon while in the VIP room of the Hall of Mourning.

If Yang Zhanbai was truly curious, Zhu Yan could always make up a few thrilling little stories and use them to fool him.

“Don’t make me put up a memorial for you,” Yang Zhanbai warned. “Come back alive. Oh, and I managed to get a few surveillance devices in this dungeon. I can report some important developments to you at any time.”

Zhu Yan sighed heavily, raised his hand, and knocked on the door of the art students’ “base.”

“Anyone home? I’m coming in!”

…

“Holy shit!”

Elsewhere.

Inside Qiu Lingkai’s office, Yang Zhanbai couldn’t help swearing. “I told you there was a mistake! Commander, Zhu Zeyu can’t possibly be a Hunter. He was only sent into a dungeon called the Endless Kitchen because of a system error…”

He thought for a moment, then explained the situation as simply and clearly as possible before summarizing.

“That dungeon is enormous, and judging from its exterior alone, it looks extremely difficult. I think we can still—”

Qiu Lingkai gave him a cold smile.

Yang Zhanbai gulped and swallowed the rest of his words.

He looked at Qiu Lingkai as though he had noticed something, then frowned.

“Commander Qiu…?”

Qiu Lingkai pointed at the wanted poster spread flat across his desk.

The head depicted on it was far too horrifying. Even after seeing it countless times, Yang Zhanbai still found it difficult to stomach.

“You’re one of the people Director Jin specifically recommended to me,” Qiu Lingkai said coldly. “Don’t act like an idiot over someone you haven’t even known for long.”

“Yang Zhanbai, the world is a cruel place. Since you’ve come here to make a fuss, I’ll give you a little advice.”

Qiu Lingkai picked up the teacup on his desk and turned to pour himself some hot water.

“Do you think humans currently have the right to speak to horror creatures as equals?”

“You can explain everything to those human players on the Player Forum,” Qiu Lingkai said, raising the cup slightly toward him. “But can you rush into a dungeon and explain it all to those powerful monsters?”

Yang Zhanbai fell silent.

He looked at Qiu Lingkai. Beneath his somewhat disheveled red hair, his dark eyes shone with startling intensity.

Then Yang Zhanbai suppressed his anger and slowly raised his chin. His expression became faintly arrogant.

“I understand, Commander Qiu,” he said calmly. “You mean that if Zhu Zeyu dies, humanity will have one less problem to deal with.”

“Correct.” Qiu Lingkai paid no attention to his expression.

Yang Zhanbai continued, “We could even take this head and sell it to the horror creatures who want the bounty, making a tidy profit.”

“Correct.” Qiu Lingkai smiled. “Director Jin’s recommendation was certainly justified.”

Yang Zhanbai nodded, looking as though he had been completely convinced.

He slowly strolled over to the sofa and asked, “Commander Qiu, may I sit down?”

“Please.”

“You also said just now that the horror creatures won’t listen to us. Then how are we supposed to ensure that the transaction goes smoothly?”

He stared intently at Qiu Lingkai and, while the other man wasn’t paying attention, quickly slipped a tiny listening device into the gap in the sofa.

…

Tao Zui, the art student, gazed delightedly at the property certificate.

“Wow,” he praised. “The most efficient person in Fangcun Mountain! This will make things much more convenient for us.”

Zhu Yan told him that the impostor wanted to come over and play, then asked, “Are you planning to use this place as your base?”

“Something like that,” An Xuyin said. “But don’t worry. Essentially, it’s still your house. We won’t intrude on your floor… er, your room. We respect all your habits, dear homeowner.”

“Besides, we can decorate it for you free of charge!”

“Your impostor friend can come play, too. We have a way to make sure it can’t see anything.”

Zhu Yan nodded, indicating that he agreed.

“There’s one more thing,” he said. “Do you have anything that can read all the information and memories in someone’s mind? I also need a new puppet. The old one has already been used up.”

He lied.

The mind reader was for Qiu Lingkai.

Zhu Yan needed to learn about the Human Alliance, Qiu Lingkai’s rank and objectives, and so on, so that he wouldn’t give himself away after killing Qiu Lingkai.

“Also, take a look at this. I’ve run into a tricky problem recently. Back when I was doing the Metabolism module, I offended a horror creature named Ji Xiting.”

Zhu Yan pulled out the bone spur.

“He seems to be rather unusual. He has some connection to the faith of the Happiness Buddha in the snowy regions… I want to know how to kill him permanently.”

There was too much information.

An Xuyin gestured for him to repeat it, then sat down in front of the typewriter and began hammering away at the keys.

“That doesn’t sound too difficult, and it’ll be another decent sum of funding. But I can approve an application on your behalf for the puppet and the mind reader. Consider them rewards for completing this mission…”

“Oh, right. You’ll have to wait a while. This may take some time.”

Zhu Yan sighed.

“All right. There’s one more thing I’d like to ask you.”

He pointed at the Alliance uniform he was wearing, which hardly had a speck of dust on it.

“Could you tear it up a little and give me a few more wounds? In short, I need to look like I’ve just gone through a life-or-death ordeal and barely escaped from a dungeon…”

He still had to fool Yang Zhanbai and the others.