Am I Some Kind of Clown (Tang Chongchong)

The wing sliced through the clouds.

Tang Manman sat right beside the airplane window.

Outside the window, white clouds drifted across a clear blue sky.

It was Tang Manman’s first time on an airplane, and she gazed at everything with excitement.

She felt the same wonder and delight she had experienced as a child when her father first took her to an amusement park.

But she hadn’t been able to enjoy the view for very long before another desire overwhelmed her curiosity.

The desire to share!

She turned her eyes away from the window.

Lowering her head, she took her phone out of the bag she had brought with her.

Tang Manman aimed the camera at the window and took a whole series of pictures. She then picked out several of the clearest and best-looking ones and happily sent them to Lin Yu.

The photos were sent through the airplane’s Wi-Fi.

Tang Manman placed her phone on her lap and leaned back in her seat.

The novelty of flying for the first time had yet to wear off.

The view outside was somewhat monotonous, but the endless blue sky was still enough to put her at ease.

A comfortable feeling she couldn’t quite describe filled her heart.

There was just one small imperfection.

Tang Manman couldn’t help feeling that it was a shame.

The view was so beautiful. If only he were here with her...

...

Five minutes later.

Tang Manman’s mood was no longer quite so carefree.

She picked up her phone and glanced at the screen, only to find that Lin Yu still hadn’t replied.

The sky was still the sky, and the clouds were still the clouds.

The tip of the wing continued to tremble slightly, just as it had before, making a first-time flyer feel a little nervous.

Yet Tang Manman simply didn’t feel as happy as she had earlier.

“Why hasn’t he replied?”

“Did he not see my message?”

Tang Manman muttered under her breath.

She pursed her lips as she recalled how hurried and impatient Lin Yu had seemed when he saw her off at the airport.

Her relaxed brows drew together slightly.

Was there something important he had to do?

But when she had asked him earlier, he’d said he was fine...

A trace of disappointment and sadness appeared on Tang Manman’s delicate face.

Supporting her cheek with one hand, she gazed out at the scenery, which had somehow become far less captivating.

She had a feeling that the days ahead were going to be difficult.

She had been away from Lin Yu for less than two hours, and she was already thinking about him again.

What was she going to do for the next four years?

Tang Manman puffed out her cheeks.

The thought of being so, so far away from Lin Yu in the future filled her small heart to the brim with worry.

N City was nearly half a country away from the city he wanted to attend university in.

Apart from the winter and summer breaks, she probably wouldn’t get to see him often anymore, would she?

She really didn’t want to be so far away from him...

A wave of sourness rose in Tang Manman’s nose.

That man, Lin Yu, had kept his college choice hidden as if it were some priceless treasure.

No matter how many times she asked, he refused to tell her.

It wasn’t until a few days ago, when she had already begun packing and preparing to come here, that he finally mentioned, with an utterly unconcerned look on his face, that the university he had chosen was in a city far to the north.

He hadn’t even told her beforehand.

He had to wait until she had no chance to change anything before casually revealing it.

He was so infuriating.

That was what Tang Manman told herself.

But she simply couldn’t bring herself to hate him.

All that remained in her heart was sadness.

Shrinking her shoulders, Tang Manman leaned against the comfortable seatback, her thoughts inevitably drifting back to Lin Yu once more.

She wondered whether he would feel lonely after going alone to that unfamiliar city.

Would he be attracted to other outstanding girls?

Would he fall for someone else?

Would he stop liking her?

Would he forget about her...?

Tang Manman’s eyelids drooped halfway, and tiny sparks of moisture appeared in her eyes.

She looked down at the shapely outline of her legs beneath her skirt and felt a little regretful that she hadn’t managed to do anything during the vacation.

Actually, she had already tried very hard as a girl.

Several times, she had gathered her courage and awkwardly hinted to Lin Yu that, if he wanted to, he could take her anywhere he liked.

But Lin Yu had acted as though he hadn’t noticed anything at all.

He continued dragging her all over the place every day.

The beach.

The amusement park.

The water park.

The movie theater.

In short, he took her wherever there was something fun to do.

Wherever she could have a good time, he took her there.

All he knew was how to have fun...

A hint of resentment rose in Tang Manman’s heart, but in the blink of an eye, those scattered grievances turned into a sense of inferiority and self-doubt.

When her best friend had heard about all those hints, she had given Tang Manman a thumbs-up and said,

“Even an idiot would know what you mean.”

But even though an idiot would have understood—

Lin Yu still hadn’t.

Tang Manman didn’t think Lin Yu was an idiot.

Which meant...

...

Tang Manman’s gaze shifted downward again.

From her legs to her chest.

She quietly took a look.

This time, she felt even more miserable.

Her delicate brows and eyes drooped dejectedly, as though she were about to cry.

“Hello.”

“Here is your in-flight meal.”

The flight attendant’s pleasant, professional voice pulled Tang Manman out of her daze.

Tang Manman stared at the flight attendant for a moment, then blinked rapidly to clear the moisture from her eyes before hurriedly accepting the meal from her.

She had never eaten an airplane meal before.

The exquisitely packaged box, which looked almost like a gift, aroused her curiosity and filled her with anticipation as she opened it.

The airplane meal did not disappoint her.

The fairly large box was packed full.

There was a small serving of freshly cut fruit, a main course of beef brisket with rice, two mints to freshen her mouth, a small bread roll for after the meal, and a packet of biscuits with individually packaged fruit jam.

It was enough to make anyone’s appetite soar.

Tang Manman hadn’t eaten lunch yet, but she didn’t immediately start eating this refined little meal.

She picked up her phone and took several pictures of the airplane meal on the tray table, then sent them to Lin Yu, who still hadn’t replied to her previous message.

After sending the pictures, Tang Manman put down her phone, opened her chopsticks, and prepared to eat.

But before she could pick up a bite, the phone resting on her lap suddenly buzzed.

Tang Manman assumed that Lin Yu had finally replied.

She quickly clamped the chopsticks between her lips and hurriedly picked up her phone...

Heavy Sugar: Sis, Mom asked me to check whether you’ve gotten on the plane yet.

Heavy Sugar: Oh, right, Sis.

Heavy Sugar: Once you’re on the plane, don’t forget to take lots of pictures for me.

Heavy Sugar: I’ve never been on an airplane before!

When Tang Manman saw that the messages were from Tang Qinqin, she puffed out her cheeks, disappointment written all over her delicate face.

As if merely going through the motions, she forwarded Tang Qinqin the pictures she had taken for Lin Yu, then put down her phone and began eating absentmindedly...

...