Carefree (Crossed Out)

After some thought, Lin Yu felt he should say something more.

He turned to look at Xia Yueshan and said seriously,

"You know what kind of person I am, I..."

Lin Yu suddenly stopped, the words pledging his loyalty dying in his throat.

He had intended to say he wasn't the fickle type, that his heart belonged only to your sister, Xia Muzhu.

But suddenly, in this moment of sincere vulnerability, Lin Yu found those words stuck, as if an invisible piece of rice cake was lodged in his throat.

Not a single word could escape.

Without time to dwell on why, and afraid Xia Yueshan would notice his hesitation, Lin Yu quickly added,

"I... if I were someone who couldn't control myself, given your sister's looks, she and I would've gotten together long before you ever met me."

"So you should believe me."

"I'm not that kind of casual person."

"Although how your sister and I got together was somewhat unexpected, I already had feelings for her, so it wasn't exactly being forced into it."

"I do like your sister."

"And I'm very satisfied with my life now."

As he spoke, Lin Yu leaned back, resting against the wheelchair's backrest. His tone relaxed, a smile on his face, he said,

"This good life of mine, I wouldn't trade it even for being an emperor."

Xia Yueshan pondered and nodded slightly to himself, thinking Lin Yu made a good point.

This guy might have a face that leans towards the "jail-bound" aesthetic, but he was a decent person at heart—Xia Yueshan knew that well from experience.

And there really wasn't anything shady on his phone.

Only that one person who kept sending him one-sided messages...

...

Was it that person?

Xia Yueshan knew what Lin Yu's plans had been before that incident happened.

Recalling the things Lin Yu had said before, Xia Yueshan felt a twinge of guilt.

But only a twinge.

What's done is done, and he absolutely wouldn't feel any pity or sympathy for that person now.

He would stand firm before his older sister's happiness, not retreating a single step!

...

After getting his phone back, Lin Yu and Xia Yueshan played some games for a while. Lin Yu's mind was unsettled, his focus scattered, and he kept failing even on not-so-difficult levels.

After playing for a bit, Lin Yu didn't feel like continuing. Using tiredness as an excuse to rest, he picked up his phone and returned to his room.

Back in his room, Lin Yu maneuvered the electric wheelchair to the window where he had taken the call earlier. He gazed out at the snowy scene, a melancholic look on his face for a few seconds before he suddenly turned his head.

The door behind him was still tightly shut, not pushed open even a crack.

Lin Yu frowned, utterly puzzled. How had Xia Yueshan overheard his conversation with Tang Manman?

Was his voice really that loud?

Turning back with his mind full of questions, Lin Yu looked out the window again.

Outside was a world of white. A few dark-brown, withered trees stood in the snow, looking dry and brittle, their twisted, tangled branches thin and weak. Remembering their lush, verdant appearance in the summer, one couldn't help but feel a pang of pity for them.

Yet, the world outside wasn't entirely bleak and lonely.

Several fully bundled-up little soft buns were strolling in the snow, each a bright splash of color, leaving small footprints in the few patches of smooth, untouched snow.

If you listened carefully, you could even hear their cheerful voices.

Sitting in his wheelchair, Lin Yu quietly watched the snowy scene outside the window, recalling the lump in his throat during his earlier conversation with Xia Yueshan.

Turning the matter over in his mind, sorting it out and examining it, Lin Yu realized this was already the best possible resolution.

If he had to do it all over again, he would still make the same choice he did back then.

It was an unsolvable problem from the start.

After that incident, it might seem like he chose Sister Muzhu, but in truth, Sister Muzhu had already become his only choice.

Throughout the whole affair, she had always been an innocent party. Having done what he did to her, how could he possibly just walk away afterward?

What kind of person would that make him?

As for Tang Manman, he had entrusted her to time, hoping it would gradually dilute her feelings for him.

But after what just happened, Lin Yu gained a new understanding of the situation.

It wasn't so much that he had entrusted Tang Manman to time, but rather that he had entrusted his and Tang Manman's still-unformed relationship to time.

Only now did Lin Yu realize he was actually quite afraid of her.

Afraid of telling her all of this.

If she found out and came crying before him, tears streaming down her face, wanting to firmly push her away for good... that didn't seem like an easy thing to do at all.

If he failed to push her away, then everything would truly be ruined.

Not only would his reputation as a pure-hearted lover be shattered, but his future life would probably become... carefree (scratch that)

...become plunged into darkness.

It seems it's not just her who needs time.

I seem to need time too.