“Hello? Keep rushing me, I'm on my way to work.” An Shiyu's voice came through the phone, sounding like she was driving. “There are so many cars out here. Maybe I should just drive on the sidewalk.”
“Even if it's a tiny braised fish head, it can't go on the sidewalk, right?” Ye Shuang said with a bit of helplessness.
“What do you want?” An Shiyu continued to ask.
“Nothing, I just wanted to ask—has your paternity testing agency ever made a mistake?” Ye Shuang got straight to the point.
“A 99.9% success rate. What do you think? The chances of a mistake are smaller than the odds of you, Uncle, growing an extra... you know... tomorrow.”
Ye Shuang: “...”
Was that analogy a bit too abstract?
Now, the possibilities laid out before Ye Shuang—
1. Both the testing agency and the police station made a mistake. He'd encountered the legendary 0.01% error rate (the luckiest lottery of his life).
2. The child really was born to Bai Yuyou back then, and she's only about eleven or twelve years old (the most criminal scenario).
3. The child is actually from the future, having traveled back in time (the most sci-fi scenario).
No matter which possibility it was, there was a subtle sense of absurdity. Ye Shuang even felt that a mistake at the testing agency was the most likely option.
If it was the middle one, Ye Shuang figured he'd need to find a chance to tear Bai Laoqi apart with his bare hands.
“Yezi calls me 'Dad,' but she can't really be my kid, can she?”
For now, it seemed the only way was to use process of elimination. After all, Yezi didn't call any other man "Dad." Thinking of this, Ye Shuang decisively decided to do a paternity test with Yezi himself. Even if it seemed like a stupid move, at least Ye Shuang still couldn't believe she was born a few years ago.
“I don't even know if I'm dreaming. Might as well just get the test done.” Ye Shuang rubbed his brow and put the test report away.
He had no idea what kind of mood he should be in to face all this right now.
After pulling himself together a bit, Ye Shuang started handling today's work. Soon after, An Shiyu arrived. Maybe it was because there was no need for "two fish" to be on site, or maybe Anshi Yi couldn't stand staying in the office, so today only An Shiyu showed up.
“Did the report come out? You look like you've got a lot on your mind.” The short-haired girl plopped down in her seat and hit the power button on the computer tower.
Instantly, the colorful LED strips arranged on the desk lit up.
“When did you add those strips?” Ye Shuang noticed.
“Hmm... I'm not sure either. I guess the computer tower gave birth to them.” An Shiyu looked like she was deep in thought. “As everyone knows, computer parts can have babies with each other. It's perfectly reasonable to give birth to an LED strip, right?”
“In which universe is that 'reasonable'?”
“That's not the point. The point is that little brat.” An Shiyu said.
Hearing this, Ye Shuang just let out a slow sigh. Maybe it was because thinking about this made his mind a little chaotic.
“Maybe I really should go do a paternity test too?” Ye Shuang asked An Shiyu.
“You?” An Shiyu looked a bit surprised. She sized him up. “I just said that as a joke. You actually believe she time-traveled here?”
“Well...”
“You might as well believe I have a system,” An Shiyu said, pointing at herself. “I've got a hundred-times rebate system. Give me a hundred grand, and I'll pay you back ten million later.”
But I really do have a system...
Even if it's just a window.
Ye Shuang just sighed again and didn't argue with An Shiyu too much. Even he didn't believe it, but right now, this was the only thing to do. After all, that kid called him "Dad" and called Bai Yuyou "Mom."
The more she called her that, the more Bai Yuyou actually started acting like a mom.
Was he going to become a dad too, then?
He'd never done anything with Bai Yuyou. If he really had a kid, it felt strange and absurd beyond words. But for now, he could only have Yezi do another test with him.
If only he'd known, he should have done it together in the first place.
“What's the point in worrying now?” An Shiyu rested her cheek on her hand, watching Ye Shuang furrow his brow every now and then. She spoke up. “How about we go out for a walk?”
“A walk?”
Ye Shuang didn't seem too interested, so he turned her down. “I'll pass. Besides, the temperature's about to go up. It'll get hot.”
Plus, there was a lot of work at the company. Even though Chen Qin had delegated some of it to others, Ye Shuang still had plenty on his plate. At the very least, he couldn't slack off to write novels during work hours like he used to.
Seeing that Ye Shuang didn't want to go out, An Shiyu just said "Oh" with a blank expression and went back to doing her own thing.
Even though the game interface on the computer was open, An Shiyu was actually still helping Ye Shuang with his work.
...
“Sigh.”
After a while, an unnecessary sigh came from Ye Shuang, which made An Shiyu, sitting nearby, look disgusted. She even kicked him.
“What's wrong with you?”
“What?”
“You've sighed four or five times already.” An Shiyu's eyes were full of disdain. “You're a guy pushing forty. Can you stop acting like a bitter housewife?”
With that, An Shiyu pulled out that "cheating-hat" again.
“Here, put it on. Peace of mind for you.”
“Why do you always carry that thing around?” Ye Shuang said helplessly. “And I just hit my thirties, okay?”
He paused, realizing he'd been stuck on the issue of Yezi. After thinking for a moment, he asked An Shiyu, “Little Yu, could you help me get a strand of Yezi's hair?”
“You want her hair?”
“Yeah.” Ye Shuang nodded. It should be pretty suitable to leave this to An Shiyu.
He could just give the hair to her later and have her take it to the testing agency at her family's hospital. After all, that fish needed to go back to the hospital anyway to pick up her heart medication. It would be completely convenient.
“Easy.”
Just as An Shiyu finished speaking, Kou Kou happened to walk in with Yezi. “Director Ye, Yezi says she wants to see you.”
“What's up, Yezi?” Ye Shuang asked.
“I want to help Dad work!” Yezi immediately said.
“There's nothing here that needs a kid's help,” Ye Shuang said. Then he shot a look at An Shiyu beside him.
As if to say, Make your move.
An Shiyu just casually snapped her fingers, stood up, and walked over to Yezi.
“What's up, Sister Fish?” Yezi noticed An Shiyu approaching and asked.
An Shiyu reached out and grabbed Yezi's watermelon-shaped head. She first tapped her chin, as if observing something. After a few seconds, she suddenly spoke.
“I really like bald little brats. How about I shave your head completely?”
Yezi: “Huh?”
his freshman year, Su Bai accidentally bound the "Indulgence Tycoon System." 【Sleeping in? Reward: +$1,000】 【Spent $288 at a street barbecue stall? Cashback: +$2,880】 【Dropped $14,396 on in-game skins? Special reward unlocked: A brand-new Porsche Panamera!】 Luxury cars, penthouses, corporate shares, financial empires… College life was all about living freely and doing whatever he pleased! … When the adorably naive academic genius faced family medical bills and financial struggles, Su Bai waved his hand dismissively: "Your future is on me." "Wuwu~ Big Brother is so good to me! I’ll become a scientist to repay you!" When the genius girl got bullied by a shady professor? Su Bai casually dropped a billion-dollar investment, forcing the university to grovel and beg for her return. A company’s funding chain collapsing? Su Bai smirked—cash was the one thing he’d never run out of. Years later, when people traced the rise of the AI prodigy beauty, who was the man behind her success? Not just that—Su Bai also became the tsundere campus belle’s unattainable dream, the contrast senior’s daily necessity, and the beautiful counselor’s emotional anchor…
uld barely embark on the path to immortality. Just as he was on the verge of death, his golden finger awakened. No matter whether it was poison, drained blood and vital energy, diminished lifespan, or any other physical debuff caused by paying a price—once midnight passed, everything would be refreshed. From then on, whenever someone asked what kind of person Chu Ran was, the answer was simple: Forbidden arts that other cultivators dared not learn? Chu Ran would learn them. Prices that even demonic cultivators dared not pay? Chu Ran would pay them. Lifespan that even righteous cultivators dared not burn? Chu Ran would burn it. All the blood essence in his body? Take it. Want both his hands and feet? He would cut them off and send them to you. You say he’s finished? He wasn’t built to sit idle. You think he’s gone mad? No—he was simply waiting for midnight. From that day onward, Chu Ran would respect neither Heaven nor Earth, bow to neither gods nor ghosts. He had only one wish: For midnight to arrive a little sooner.
ions, keeping it grounded and realistic】 After quitting his job, office worker Su Yang accidentally binds with the "Enjoy Life System." As the name suggests, simply by indulging in life's pleasures, he can earn random rewards from the system—no need to spend money on beautiful women or grovel before anyone. Just enjoy, and the money follows, making it all about effortless fun. The system comes with a scanning feature, allowing him to establish a favorability bond with women rated 85 points or above. Every 20-point increase in favorability unlocks additional rewards. After suffering through over twenty years of hardship, Su Yang trembles with excitement, his dull eyes suddenly gleaming with newfound hope. "Enjoy life? How hard could that be?"
to panic—he has a system. As long as an investment target dies, he can claim a reward. And since he is immortal, the one thing he has plenty of is time. ... Countless years later. “Immortal Emperor of Longevity? I invested in him.” “Supreme Celestial Venerable? I invested in him.” “Undying Empress? I invested in her.” “...” “Heh. Once they’ve all died, even the Heavenly Dao will have to kneel and call me Dad.”
