"……"
"……"
"Uh……"
"Where's my ice cream……"
In a dim corner of the abandoned warehouse, a girl as delicate as a doll slowly opened her eyes. The air was thick with the mingling scents of engine oil and damp mildew, relentlessly assaulting her senses.
Alice gradually regained her bearings, realizing her current predicament.
Kidnapped?
"Mmm." Alice tried to move her hands, only to find them tightly bound behind her back, numb from being restrained for so long.
"Old Gao, she's awake."
"Tch, such a small dose and she was out for so long. This one's weak as hell."
The sound of shuffling footsteps approached. Alice squinted hard, making out two masked men in the moonlight streaming through the broken windows.
One fat, one thin.
"You two—after money or something else?" Alice puffed up her cheeks, clearly furious. "Do you even know who I am?!"
"Of course we do. Zhou Feng's daughter, the celebrity with millions of fans in the harbor district. We’ve been stalking you for days—we know everything about you," the fat one chuckled, pinching Alice’s cheek.
"Damn, foreign chicks are so pretty when they're young. Heard they turn into fat hags by middle age, though."
"Who are you calling a fat hag?!" Alice snapped, trying to bite his hand.
"Shit, this chick’s got fire."
The fat man hadn’t expected her to still be so feisty after being kidnapped. Without hesitation, he slapped her across the face.
SMACK!
Alice’s cheek stung from the blow, but she glared daggers at the fat man, fuming. Inside, though, she was thinking:
Just wait till Bobo gets here. You’re dead.
Still, Alice couldn’t help feeling uneasy. She hadn’t expected these two to be bold enough to snatch her right under everyone’s noses. Pulling this off would’ve required a meticulous plan.
That said, Alice wasn’t exactly new to kidnappings. By now, she’d been abducted at least three times in her life.
"How much do you want?" Alice asked.
"Now that’s more like it. A proper attitude for negotiation," the thin one chimed in. "You’re loaded, right? Five million."
"You kidnapped me for just five million?!" Alice’s temper flared again, thinking about how she’d been slapped over such a paltry sum. She writhed angrily, but with her limbs bound, she only managed to wiggle like a caterpillar.
Rawr!
"Uh… did we lowball her? Did we ask for too little?" the fat man wondered.
"Five million’s not enough?!" the thin one shot back. It was more than they could earn in a lifetime of honest work.
"True. That’s enough to buy seven or eight houses back in our hometown."
"Did you call Fox yet? He still not here?"
"No answer. Maybe we should just split up and leave separately."
"……" Silence.
The thin man glanced at the bound, golden-haired loli on the floor, then at his phone, clearly torn—but soon, he gritted his teeth. "Let’s go. We can’t waste time here. We need to find a safe spot."
"What if Fox thinks we ditched him?"
"Screw him!"
"But… your wife’s at his place."
"My wife? What’s she doing there?"
"You forgot? She cheated on you with Fox a while back."
"What?! Since when?!"
"Huh? You didn’t know? I thought you were just being chill about it… Ow! What the hell, why’d you kick me?!"
Alice, watching from the side: "……"
She had a headache. I got kidnapped by a bunch of idiots?
"Screw leaving. I’m waiting for Fox!" the thin man snarled.
"Alright, bro, I got your back!"
Alice: "……"
Sigh.
Next time, I’m sticking with Bobo. Getting nabbed by pros is one thing, but these clowns are like something out of a bad comedy.
And I got slapped for nothing.
The more Alice thought about it, the angrier she got.
Am I really only worth five million?!
Then again, compared to what Ye Shuang had once warned her about—being sold into the mountains to bear children—this wasn’t so bad. At least these two didn’t seem like the type to kill her.
"Hey—" Alice suddenly spoke up.
"What?"
"I need to pee."
"Hold it in."
Alice fumed but didn’t say another word.
Just then, the thin man’s phone buzzed.
"Finally! Fox texted!" He checked his screen—only to see two words:
[RUN.]
"Fox got caught?!" The fat man froze, then snapped back to reality. "Move! They probably already know where we are!"
"Shit, let’s go!"
"Let me go!"
The fat man yanked Alice up and dragged her toward the car outside the warehouse.
"Wait, Old Gao! Look outside!" The fat man suddenly noticed something off—faint car lights in the trees beyond the warehouse.
"Don’t freak out. Probably just someone passing by," the thin man said, forcing calm. "Let’s hurry!"
"Wait, those lights are coming straight at us!"
The screech of tires against pavement grew louder. The two men instantly realized—the car was charging right for them.
"Damn it, how’d they find us so fast?!"
"Did Fox rat us out? No way they’d track us down otherwise!"
"That spineless Wang Xiaogou must’ve given up the warehouse location right away."
"Go!"
"What about her?"
"Take her. If we can’t get the money, we’ll have our fun and sell her to the mountains."
They shoved Alice into the trunk and jumped into the car, ready to flee.
Alice panicked. If her rescuers were already here, letting these two escape could mean unspeakable horrors.
"I’m here—!"
"Bo—bo—!" Alice mustered every ounce of strength to scream.
CRASH!
A massive black shadow burst through the warehouse’s second-floor window, soaring through the air like a cannonball before slamming onto the car’s hood with a deafening BOOM!
"Holy shit?!" The car rocked violently. The two men gaped at the figure crouched on the crumpled hood.
What the hell is that thing?!
And why did it come from the warehouse’s second floor?!
"Ha…" The shadow let out a guttural growl. Under the moonlight, it looked like a frenzied beast. A fist clad in brass knuckles smashed through the windshield!
CRACK!
Shards of glass exploded inward as a massive hand seized the thin man’s head, dragging him bodily through the shattered windshield!

【Prologue: The Beginning of It All – Use holy water to heal the saintess tainted by demonic energy, then converse with her.】 Shen Nian stared at his older sister sipping yogurt, lost in thought. So you’re telling me my sister is the saintess, and yogurt is the holy water? 【Main Quest 1: Brave Youth, Become an Adventurer! Reward: Rookie Adventurer Title.】 【Side Quest 1: Find the Adorable Kitty! Reward: 1000 Gold Coins.】 Shen Nian: "Wait, I’m a high school senior here—did some guy who got isekai’d accidentally bind his system to me?" Hold on, completing quests gives gold rewards? Titles even boost stats? Is this for real? (A lighthearted, absurd campus comedy—not a revenge power fantasy.)

d intelligence to keep the plot moving, and sometimes even the protagonists are forced into absurdly dumb decisions. Why does the A-list celebrity heroine in urban romance novels ditch the top-tier movie star and become a lovestruck fool for a pockmarked male lead? Why do the leads in historical tragedy novels keep dancing between love and death, only for the blind healer to end up suffering the most? And Gu Wei never expected that after finally landing a villain role to stir up trouble, she’d pick the wrong gender! No choice now—she’ll just have to crush the protagonists as a girl!

m back to his original world. In the end, he realized he had overthought things. [Hey, why is Shen Manni, the female lead, acting strange? Shouldn't she be fawning over the male lead at this point?] [Zhou Qiaoqiao, are you sick? Weren't you supposed to break off your engagement today?] [Damn it! An Youyi, please do your job as an undercover agent and sell my information to the protagonist, you idiot!] ... At this moment, Xu Mo himself didn't know that these female leads had already heard his inner thoughts. Then they decided not to play by the rules. Xu Mo: Please respect my profession as the big villain!

+【Epic Battles!】 "Your Highness, they say Linxi Temple is miraculous. Won’t you make a wish?" "A wish? It should be making wishes to me." "That may be so, but since you’re already here..." "..." "Fine. Then grant this princess a consort to play with." "He must be obedient, devoted, and utterly infatuated with my body—so much so that he’d kneel and kiss my feet." "Your Highness, that’s not a consort. That’s a dog." "Then add clever, witty, heroic, ambitious yet pragmatic..." "Hmm, that’s enough for now. I’ll add more later." After tossing out these words half in jest, Princess Anle departed the temple—only to catch a fleeting glimpse of the Bodhisattva statue smiling at her. Meanwhile, Yang An, fresh out of university, was having a very bad day. Good news: He’d transmigrated into another world with a cheat granting tenfold combat power. Bad news: He’d immediately fallen into the clutches of a certain villainess. Good news: Said villainess possessed peerless beauty and royal status. Bad news: She was absolutely monstrous!!! In the frozen wilderness, Yang An knelt beneath Qin Guo’er’s feet, drenched in sweat despite the cold. Desperately clutching her porcelain-perfect foot—the very one poised to crush his throat—he could only think: How do I survive this?! Need answers NOW!