"Understand what?"
Facing Ye Shuang's confusion at the moment, An Shiyu simply waved her hand, "In novels, the protagonist surrounded by beautiful girls must be handsome."
"Well, obviously."
"And they have to be utterly useless—just being gentle is enough." An Shiyu pointed at Ye Shuang with a finger, "I think you fit the bill."
Hearing this, Ye Shuang wasn’t sure whether she was complimenting or mocking him. He glanced at the girl—only to find she had somehow pulled out a red-and-blue gaming console. She fiddled with the joystick, strands of hair slipping from behind her small ears and falling onto the screen, which she didn’t seem to mind.
Perhaps sensing Ye Shuang’s gaze, An Shiyu suddenly beckoned, "Hey, old man, stop staring at my panties and play a game with me."
"What panties? I don’t know how to play."
"A man who can’t even play games is doomed to live a failed life."
"Does your butt need another spanking?"
"..." An Shiyu seemed to recall something, her ears instantly turning red. She shot Ye Shuang a glance before rolling deftly into her blanket like a burrito.
Ye Shuang didn’t react and simply went back to reading. Soon, lunch break arrived.
"Time to eat." Ye Shuang put his book away and stood up, heading for the cafeteria. Feeling a lack of appetite, he mused, "I’ll go for something light today."
"I prefer something with stronger flavors," a voice chimed in beside him.
Ye Shuang wasn’t surprised to see An Shiyu suddenly appearing next to him like a ghost. He replied flatly, "Oh."
"I didn’t bring any money."
"And?"
"Shouldn’t you treat me to a meal?" An Shiyu pointed at herself, her sleeves so long that only a single fingertip peeked out. "I’m adorable, after all."
Ye Shuang replied casually, "Then I guess you’ll be skipping lunch today."
"Mean, perverted, creepy old man."
"Sure."
"I’ll tell everyone you groped my butt."
Ye Shuang: "..."
"That wasn’t groping."
"Slapping counts too."
An Shiyu stuffed her hands into her pockets, looking smug as she stared at him.
"Fine, one meal." Ye Shuang admitted he’d lost his temper back then. Under her teasing gaze, he inexplicably felt a pang of guilt.
Leading An Shiyu to the nearby student cafeteria, they found a long queue. The air was thick with the savory aroma of food, instantly whetting appetites.
The student cafeteria had far more options than the faculty one. Noticing An Shiyu’s wandering gaze, Ye Shuang asked, "Can’t decide what to eat?"
"Nah, I’m scouting for someone easy to bully so we can cut in line."
Thunk. Ye Shuang gave her a swift chop on the head. "Get in line properly!"
An Shiyu rubbed her head. "Stuffy, pervy old man."
Since when did the nickname change again?
"Cutting in line is unethical. Don’t do it."
"You just don’t get it. People are happy to let me cut in."
"Oh really?" Ye Shuang gave her a skeptical look. "And how do you make them ‘happy’ about it?"
An Shiyu, seeing his disbelief, strutted over to a bespectacled guy with an exaggerated swagger.
The boy blinked in surprise as she approached.
"Sorry, senior, mind if I cut in?" An Shiyu suddenly clasped her hands together, her voice sweet and pleading, her expression melting into pure cuteness.
A complete personality shift?!
The boy froze, then quickly stepped aside. "S-sure..."
"You wouldn’t mind, would you~?"
"Not at all! Happy to help!" He nodded eagerly.
An Shiyu’s expression instantly reverted to its usual deadpan as she sauntered back to Ye Shuang. "See? Happy to help."
Ye Shuang: "..."
Who was that just now?
"That doesn’t count. You’re toying with that guy’s feelings," Ye Shuang said.
An Shiyu scanned the line again and marched toward another queue.
A girl barely had time to react before An Shiyu fanned out five red bills.
"500. Move."
"Huh?!"
"You got a problem with that?"
"Absolutely not!"
Without handing over the money, An Shiyu lazily returned. "See? Absolutely no problem."
Ye Shuang: "..."
You’re evil.
"Wait, you do have money?!" Ye Shuang demanded.
An Shiyu blinked innocently. "Oh… must’ve been a mistake. Those were massage coupons."
"Massage cou—bullshit!"
Ye Shuang shot the two victims an apologetic smile before dragging An Shiyu to another line.
"Why’d we run?"
"Just stand in line like a normal person!"
After finally getting their food, the two found seats.
"Here." Ye Shuang handed An Shiyu a carton of soy milk.
"Soy milk?"
"Didn’t you say you can’t eat without a drink?"
An Shiyu tilted her head. "Did I?"
Ye Shuang: "..."
"Give it back if you don’t want it."
"Nope."
She snatched it away.
Sitting beside Ye Shuang, she started to drape her legs over his lap but hesitated and set them down.
An Shiyu picked up her chopsticks and transferred all the tomatoes from her scrambled eggs with tomatoes to Ye Shuang’s plate.
"What are you doing?"
"Family rule: ninjas can’t eat tomatoes."
"Then why did you order scrambled eggs with tomatoes?! And what kind of family has rules like that?!"
"Tch. Busted."
Ye Shuang gave her a deadpan stare. Since his own plate already had the dish, he resignedly accepted the extra tomatoes.
Just then, two girls entered the cafeteria from another entrance—one with long hair and another carrying an oversized backpack.
"Smells amazing! I kinda want spicy hot pot," Tang Keke said, adjusting her heavy bag. "Yuyou, what do you feel like eating?"
Bai Yuyou paused, sniffing the air.
"I smell… Ye Shuang."
"Smell? He’s probably at home. Are you just hungry?"
"...Mm."
"Come on, let’s get spicy hot pot. They have a new tomato flavor!" Tang Keke giggled, pulling her along as they headed deeper into the cafeteria.