A Stupid Burglar Broke into the House

Around 11 PM at night.

Jiangcheng's Season Cloud Peak residential complex.

Unit 2, Apartment 1506.

Master Xu was busy in the kitchen preparing a late-night snack for himself.

He usually didn’t have the habit of eating late at night.

But these past few days since moving out, he’d been swamped with tasks.

Plus, living alone now,

Xu Mo felt no need to hold back.

The ingredients were all common and ordinary.

No king crab or rare deep-sea delicacies like abalone or shark fin.

Besides,

those things—

Xu Mo was already all too familiar with them.

He’d grown tired of them.

Plain ingredients suited his palate better.

Oh, what? You’re not used to that?

Well, the key lies in who’s doing the cooking.

There’s bound to be a difference between a five-star chef’s dishes and an average home cook’s, right?

After half an hour of bustling around,

Xu Mo suddenly turned off the stove.

But instead of plating the freshly cooked meal,

he abandoned it

and walked out of the kitchen toward the front door.

Why?

Because Xu Mo had heard faint rustling sounds coming from outside his door.

He distinctly remembered:

One, he hadn’t ordered anything online.

Two, he hadn’t called for takeout.

Three, he’d only moved in a few days ago.

Forget friendly neighborly relations—

he didn’t even know who his neighbors were or what they looked like.

Xu Mo knew this wasn’t some friendly neighbor dropping by.

Nor was it the community committee,

rushing to welcome him with gifts

or warmth.

A meter reader?

Even less likely.

After some thought, only one possibility remained:

He was being targeted by a thief.

And a dumb one at that.

Instead of striking during the day when no one was home,

this idiot chose the middle of the night.

Did they really think Xu Mo was an easy target?

Snap—

The hallway lights flicked on.

At the same time, Xu Mo took a deep breath and swiftly yanked the door open,

ready to grab the fool on the spot.

Or at least assess who they were and what they wanted

before deciding his next move.

Why didn’t he check through the peephole first?

That would’ve shown a lack of confidence in his own skills.

Besides, even a clay figurine has a temper.

The noise from this moron outside had already pissed Xu Mo off.

The moment the door swung open—

"What do you think you’re doing?"

Xu Mo’s voice was low and firm.

He saw the "thief" standing outside.

It was a woman reeking of alcohol, looking to be around 28 or 29 years old.

She wore a beige office OL outfit, her lower half clad in flesh-toned stockings that accentuated a pair of stunning, eye-catching legs.

Her lips, unlike the thin ones most girls had,

were full and sensual.

She had a delicate, heart-shaped face—though incomparable to the story’s female lead,

she was still a rare beauty in her own right.

While Xu Mo sized her up,

she did the same to him.

But before he could say anything more,

the woman’s flushed face twisted in confusion. Her bleary eyes flickered with a brief moment of clarity.

The second she spoke, Xu Mo knew—this was a seasoned drunk.

A wave of boozy breath hit him like a truck.

"You… Who are you? Why… are you… in my house?"

The drunk woman’s audacious claim

made Xu Mo inwardly exclaim, "Damn, impressive."

"This is MY house!"

Truly corporate-level comprehension.

What, being drunk makes you special?

Does being drunk give you the right to barge into someone’s home?

Most guys might’ve been thrilled,

but Xu Mo felt zero interest.

"Eh… Heh heh… You’re a pretty handsome little thief, aren’t you?"

The woman stared at Xu Mo for a long moment before suddenly giggling like an idiot.

She clearly hadn’t processed a word he’d just said,

instead relying on her alcohol-addled logic to draw conclusions.

Though, credit where it’s due—

the young man in front of her was undeniably good-looking.

Of course he was handsome.

Xu Mo was home now.

He’d already washed off his usual disguises.

What, was he supposed to keep up appearances in his own house?

Well… maybe he should’ve.

Because this drunk woman just taught him a lesson.

Luckily, she was genuinely wasted,

so Xu Mo didn’t dwell on it.

"Let me repeat: I’m not a thief. This is my home. Do you want to leave on your own, or do you want to leave on your own?"

The woman frowned slightly. "This… isn’t 1507?"

"Obviously not. This is 1506. Your place is next door—left out the door, two steps down."

Xu Mo finally understood and quickly explained.

Ah, so she was a neighbor.

Still, Xu Mo wasn’t particularly charmed by this drunken beauty next door.

Statistically speaking,

this kind of "lucky encounter"

was astronomically rare.

Most horndogs would’ve killed for this scenario.

But Xu Mo felt nothing.

He’d had more beauties in his passenger seat

than he could count.

One more didn’t matter.

Besides, at the moment, Xu Mo didn’t even have a car.

Even if he did,

she wouldn’t be riding shotgun.

"Oh… S-sorry… Wrong door…"

The woman mumbled an apology, then let out a boozy hiccup.

Staggering like a zombie, she turned and left—

in the wrong direction.

Xu Mo facepalmed and called out, "You’re going the wrong way again. Your place is over here."

"Oh…" The woman paused, swayed, then clumsily turned around,

nearly tripping over her own feet with every step.

If she fell, she fell.

Xu Mo wasn’t about to help her up.

Scammers were everywhere these days.

No way he was risking getting framed.

Eventually, the woman stumbled toward the correct door.

Xu Mo was about to shut his own and return to his interrupted meal—

Right at that moment,

as she passed his apartment,

the woman suddenly stopped.

Her petite nose twitched.

Like she’d caught the scent of something heavenly.

"What’s… that smell? So… delicious!"

Then, before Xu Mo could react—

AMBUSH!

She lurched past him,

staggering straight into his apartment

and beelining for the kitchen.

Her speed was… astonishing.

"Shit— Now’s not the time to be impressed!"

"Hey—!"

Xu Mo’s face darkened. Forgetting to close the door, he rushed after her.

From the kitchen came the sound of clattering utensils.

When Xu Mo arrived, the sight left him speechless.

There she was—

the drunk woman,

one hand gripping the heavy iron wok,

the other clutching chopsticks,

slurping up noodles directly from the pan.

Xu Mo blinked.

Had to be seeing things.

Nope.

No mistake.

The woman had zero regard for decorum.

Who the hell eats straight out of a cooking pot?

This was a first for Xu Mo.

"Uh… Want me to get you a bowl…?"

"Slurp… Slurp…"

Her only reply was the sound of voracious eating.

She didn’t even glance up, completely absorbed in her feast.

The more she ate, the more she seemed to enjoy it,

as if Xu Mo—the actual homeowner—didn’t exist.

"…Whatever."

Xu Mo waved it off, deciding not to bother.

It was just one late-night snack. He could make another.

As the woman devoured his food,

Xu Mo studied her again.

This woman must’ve trained her arms like a blacksmith.

An empty wok would’ve been one thing,

but this one was full.

And Xu Mo, as a practitioner of ancient martial arts,

typically ate two to three times more than the average man.

Yet this drunk woman was on another level entirely.

Even

Zhang Naixi—someone Xu Mo knew well—

couldn’t match her appetite.

And the kicker?

She didn’t even flinch at the heat!

Those noodles had just come off the stove!

Could it be the legendary... "strike while the iron's hot"?

Xu Mo shook his head with a wry smile and left the kitchen to wait in the living room.

This woman's eating habits were downright terrifying.

Ravenous.

Insatiable.

It made Xu Mo's scalp prickle just watching.

But then again, the world is full of strange things.

It was just a late-night snack.

Once eaten, it was done.

Xu Mo decided to wait until she finished before kicking her out.

A clean break was best.

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